Overheard In Ireland:)

Subacio · 11-05-2016 08:56PM

Coming in through passport control in Dublin Airport. After a flight from London.

Passenger - "I don't have my passport on me"
Garda - "Are you Irish?"
Passenger - "Yeah"
Garda - "All right, go on then"

This was 2 weeks after the 7/7 London bombings.

me_irl · 11-05-2016 09:00PM

Christ, remember those Overheard in Dublin books?

They were sh*te as well.

cruais · 11-05-2016 10:16PM

In tesco.

Man at self scan till to worker:
Hello lady, I cant seem to scan myself

Worker:
Sorry?

Man:
I want to sell myself. I will not scan

Worker:
Listen love, I wouldn't pay a euro for you in the bargain basement!

me_irl · 11-05-2016 10:20PM

cruais wrote: »

In tesco.

Man at self scan till to worker:
Hello lady, I cant seem to scan myself

Worker:
Sorry?

Man:
I want to sell myself. I will not scan

Worker:
Listen love, I wouldn't pay a euro for you in the bargain basement!

Never happened.

cruais · 11-05-2016 10:25PM

me_irl wrote: »

Never happened.

Yep because I just happened to pluck that story out of my head :rolleyes:

Andy From Sligo · 30-06-2018 01:51PM

overheard in a DIY shop in Roscommon the other day 2 auld fella's moaning about the hot weather

(Michael - the shop owner) "how'ya Paddy - jeez you wouldnt want to be out in that heat too long would ye?"

- (Paddy - the customer)
" there's no air, you cannot breath in it.... as soon as you put it on its drying out (presume he was referring to paint?) can't cool down!

<long pause between the 2 of them> ......

(Michael): "long may it last! " ..... (Paddy:) "aye Surely!"

hatrickpatrick · 30-06-2018 01:58PM

On the DART a few days ago, talking about angry militant vegans: "It's funny how a bunch of herbivores have such a vicious herd mentality"

downwesht · 30-06-2018 02:04PM

Heard 2 old dears in my local Super valu .
"Is that young lad at the checkout gay ?"
"He is,but he doesn't know it yet!"

foxy farmer · 30-06-2018 05:07PM

2 codgers talking about smoking.
"Im giving up the fags and using the nicotine patches instead"

"Fair play to ya. I hear they're very good but fierce hard to light"

Andy From Sligo · 30-06-2018 09:28PM

Overheard in Sligo the other day " great heat! " - "sure is, - if it becomes any hotter we will be on the front of the Trócaire box! " ...

fussyonion · 30-06-2018 09:55PM

Walking behind two young ones in The Square today. One turned to the other and asked "Lisa, how do you spell aubergines?"
Lisa replies "O-B-E-R-J-E-A-N-S. Ober like Oberstown."

:rolleyes:

BuboBubo · 30-06-2018 10:13PM

Youngwan #1 "She's a right bitch that one"

Youngwan #2 'she is, yeah'

Youngwan #1 'and the teeeeeth on her, she'd ate a turnip through a letterbox'

Andy From Sligo · 30-06-2018 10:39PM

BuboBubo wrote: »

Youngwan #1 "She's a right bitch that one"

Youngwan #2 'she is, yeah'

Youngwan #1 'and the teeeeeth on her, she'd ate a turnip through a letterbox'

haha - which begs the question, why on earth would a turnip be coming through a letterbox

BuboBubo · 30-06-2018 10:40PM

Andy From Sligo wrote: »

haha - which begs the question, why on earth would a turnip be coming through a letterbox

It's a Wexford thing, you wouldn't understand!

Conservatory · 30-06-2018 10:53PM

An addict girl and her boyfriend walking by Patrick’s cathedral.
Girl: you could have got up last night and done that job with the lads and you were too much of a coward. (Now roaring) I have family in the uk that are millionaires and I stayed here with you and you are too much of a coward to go out and do a job with the lads.

Fella just carry’s on in a daze saying nothing.

gozunda · 02-07-2018 10:52AM

Two old lads overheard a day after a funeral. Says one - the priest said nothing but good things about the deceased...

Says the other - just as well - if he had included the bad - we would still be there ...

foxy farmer · 02-07-2018 11:17AM

Crowd of people around my grandparents table chatting at dinnertime during the harvest years ago. One of them pipes up.
"Well Jer you buried your father since we were here last. "
"We did boy." he replies. Sure we had to do something with him when he died."

silverharp · 02-07-2018 11:27AM

from a local radio station around Limerick, guy is reading out death notices, gets to the end and says "grand!, no one we know"

yourdeadwright · 02-07-2018 11:36AM

Seen some aul one in Dublin City with a clip board asked me did I have a minute to answer question about what i thought about gay, lesbian , and straight relationships ,
I said no, but a few minutes later I was standing out side a shop and heard her ask some aul lad (who must have agreed to be questioned ) how do you veiw lesbian relationships .He replied " in full HD " and walked off laughing

she wasn't best pleased

wakka12 · 02-07-2018 12:10PM

An elderly couple walking by the cafe I was sitting at yesterday morning noticing pride balloons around on shops

Old woman: Wasn't the gay pride parade on yesterday?
Old man: Yes think so, sure isn't it lovely for them they have it

Just thought it was cute

iamwhoiam · 02-07-2018 01:46PM

In town one day and a Dad ahead of me had a young toddler in his arms and the kids facing back .Kid had an ice cream cone in his hand and a big blob fell off onto Dads t shirt on his shoulder

KID " OH jaysus Dad lookah
Dad " Oh jaysus son lickah

downwesht · 02-07-2018 03:35PM

Was walking behind a hearse at a friends funeral.
Two lads walking ahead of me one says "did he leave much?"

there was a pause,and then the reply "I think he left the lot!"

Priceless

hatrickpatrick · 02-07-2018 03:39PM

Conservatory wrote: »

you are too much of a coward to go out and do a job with the lads.

Jaysus, I'd say there's some poor unfortunate out there who's very glad that this guy was too much of a coward to "do a job with the lads" :eek:

Overheard In Ireland:)

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