what do weddings cost the couple overall??

mfceiling · 24-06-2018 11:03PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I want to leave her when the kid flies the nest. Won't go before that because a child has a right to be raised by their Mum and Dad.

Only another 12 years.

You old romantic...

GoneHome · 24-06-2018 11:11PM

LirW wrote: »

There were a few things that we both wanted: good pictures, good food, a nice setting but no fuss around it and only the people that we really want there and that would like to be there with no pressure. Ceremony is just in the registry office.
There we were willing to splash out.

If we'd have a big wedding I'd be a stranger at my own wedding since my family is literally only 8 people. And the friends are poor students and very far away.

It's my one regret that we'd a Catholic church wedding, neither of us is a bit religious but felt we should do it for family, that was 15 years ago, if I'd my way again there wouldn't be a priest within 100 miles of it

Spanish Eyes · 24-06-2018 11:11PM

Dakota Dan wrote: »

These 3 day weddings are a new gimmick also the same person getting married more than once and they have to have the same big extravaganza second time round. You'd think they'd learn from the first time.

OH spare me the three day events. I thought that was some horsey trial thing or something, but no, it is a day before, THE DAY, and the day after. Jayzis you'd be wrecked both body wise and wallet size and imagine having to be with the same group for THREE days. I think I'd be ready to kill someone, sorry! There is only so much you can talk about really.

Klonker · 24-06-2018 11:19PM

Not married or even engaged yet but not going to have a 'wedding', just me, my partner and a few witnesses. Only costs really will be our clothes, rings and honeymoon.

We are from different countries with very different wedding cultures and there is also a language barrier between our families. Was always going to be difficult to organise something so we think this will be most convenient ( and cheapest

)

umop episdn · 24-06-2018 11:53PM

Aidric wrote: »

It's a shame to see a woman's special day being reduced to a conversation about money. When it comes to marriage there should be no talk of a budget. Anyone disputing that is not worthy of the privilege of marriage.

My brother and his husband disagree

awec · 25-06-2018 12:15AM

There's a bit of inverse snobbery going on in this thread.

"Oh, I paid only 500 euro for my wedding, we had the meal in McDonalds don't you know and we invited two guests and a cat!".

Each to their own. There are great expensive weddings and crap expensive weddings, just like there are great cheap ones and crap cheap ones.

People can spend what they want, but I would say that the "normal" wedding that Irish people are used to is more expensive than you would think. I would imagine a lot of couples go in thinking they want to do it on a tiny budget, but then they realise just how little you get for that money and the budget goes up accordingly.

A "normal" wedding, with 100-150 guests, photographer, video, musicians, band, DJ, dresses, suits, flowers etc, you'd be doing well to do it for under 10k.

30k sounds like mad money but it'd be easier than you think to spend this much if you went for a more exclusive venue and had a larger wedding. Some venues will charge €100+ per head.

Ubbquittious · 25-06-2018 12:24AM

There is only a finite amount of enjoyment that can be compressed into one day and the law of diminishing returns applies. For an ordinary person spending anything over 1 or 2k on a single day with no lasting consequences is a complete and utter waste

rainbow kirby · 25-06-2018 12:25AM

7k ish for the wedding (humanist ceremony in a hotel in Limerick in 2015, meal etc for 80), 5k ish for the honeymoon and probably got 5k in gifts. We didn't expect others to cover anything but it was bloody nice that they did.

JupiterKid · 25-06-2018 12:27AM

Irish weddings are generally scandalously lavish, formulaic and OTT.

The nicest weddings ive been at werre more intimate affairs with some originality and a bit of imagination.

If I ever get hitched it will be a same sex one so I can throw all those silly conventions about what a wedding should be out the window.

awec · 25-06-2018 12:28AM

Ubbquittious wrote: »

There is only a finite amount of enjoyment that can be compressed into one day and the law of diminishing returns applies. For an ordinary person spending anything over 1 or 2k on a single day with no lasting consequences is a complete and utter waste

1k will get you pretty much nothing.

It'd be like an afternoon in the pub. So if that's your thing, great. Otherwise you're talking nonsense.

Ubbquittious · 25-06-2018 12:46AM

awec wrote: »

1k will get you pretty much nothing.

It'd be like an afternoon in the pub. So if that's your thing, great. Otherwise you're talking nonsense.

1k will get me a good load of drink from France. Borrow a few bales of hay, empty the shed, put on a few tunes. Be grand

GoneHome · 25-06-2018 12:57AM

Ubbquittious wrote: »

1k will get me a good load of drink from France. Borrow a few bales of hay, empty the shed, put on a few tunes. Be grand

Perfect, if I was getting married in the morning that would be my way to go

Inspector Coptoor · 25-06-2018 01:42AM

Ubbquittious wrote: »

There is only a finite amount of enjoyment that can be compressed into one day and the law of diminishing returns applies. For an ordinary person spending anything over 1 or 2k on a single day with no lasting consequences is a complete and utter waste

Most bands cost €2000 alone.
One band quoted us €4000.
Told them where to go.

You get nothing for €1000-€2000

Mention the word wedding and vendors start adding zeros.
Flowers - €50
Wedding flowers - €700

Going into debt for a wedding is silly.

Saving hard for a wedding and paying it all up front and in cash is the way to go.

We had a big wedding, thoroughly enjoyed the few days before, during and after, no debt, no regrets & the money we received in gifts went on the deposit for our house which we bought a year or so after the wedding.

The saving culture we established in the run up to the wedding has continued post wedding and post house deposit/mortgage application.

What would life be like if all you did was save and never spent anything?

GoneHome · 25-06-2018 01:46AM

Inspector Coptoor wrote: »

We had a big wedding, thoroughly enjoyed the few days before, during and after, no debt, no regrets & the money we received in gifts went on the deposit for our house which we bought a year or so after the wedding.

The saving culture we established in the run up to the wedding has continued post wedding and post house deposit/mortgage application.

What would life be like if all you did was save and never spent anything?

Well said

_Dara_ · 25-06-2018 02:33AM

Aidric wrote: »

It's a shame to see a woman's special day being reduced to a conversation about money. When it comes to marriage there should be no talk of a budget. Anyone disputing that is not worthy of the privilege of marriage.

What an odd comment. Not worthy of marriage because you keep an eye on finances? Mmmkay.

No talk of budget?

Meanwhile in the real world...

erica74 · 25-06-2018 07:31AM

Aidric wrote: »

It's a shame to see a woman's special day being reduced to a conversation about money. When it comes to marriage there should be no talk of a budget. Anyone disputing that is not worthy of the privilege of marriage.

Ahahahahaha, I knew this thread would have some gold in it (as all wedding related threads do) but this takes the top prize:pac:

LirW · 25-06-2018 07:42AM

Inspector Coptoor wrote: »

Mention the word wedding and vendors start adding zeros.
Flowers - €50
Wedding flowers - €700

I think what a lot of people don't see there is that weddings are huge events and events of that size require a horrendous amount of planning. Everything is tailor made, you pay these vendors for them to run your day smoothly. Staff and preparation cost a lot of money and some prestigious companies have done it 100 times and they know exactly why they charge you that.
The photographer will spend days at home editing your pictures. The band spends a lot of time working on a tailor made playlist. The celebrant spends a lot of time preparing a really lovely bespoke ceremony. It just seems so easy peasy because they are veterans in what they do.

Eggs For Dinner · 25-06-2018 07:48AM

Inspector Coptoor wrote: »

Mention the word wedding and vendors start adding zeros.

This is the crux of the whole debate here. People are spending a huge amount and getting very little value in return by sticking to the accepted formula of an Irish wedding. Vendors, as you say, can charge outrageous money because there is a queue of people who believe expense equals quality

knipex · 25-06-2018 07:57AM

umop episdn wrote: »

I've been invited to quite a few weddings that have stated no children....not gone to one...a wedding is all about families...and if someone doesn't want children there...well...sod them imo

Most of the weddings I have been to with kids (not all) is about having sugar high kids running around the hotel causing mayhem while the parents get blotto, singing songs, dancing until 5am. At some point that night some poor sod (probably not even related) end up with a kid sleeping on their lap and trying to convince the parents its time to put them to bed.

LirW · 25-06-2018 08:12AM

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

This is the crux of the whole debate here. People are spending a huge amount and getting very little value in return by sticking to the accepted formula of an Irish wedding. Vendors, as you say, can charge outrageous money because there is a queue of people who believe expense equals quality

I think it's more the fact that people want exclusive and tailor made events for hundreds of people and some struggle to see the amount of work that goes into the planning. Of course there can be cuts made when you celebrate in a more basic hotel that does Carvery for all. But people want more. They also wouldn't be happy if the Indian takeaway caters their gig, even though it would be cheaper.

When we looked for a place for our small party after the registry office I told them all we're a wedding but only want a meal. Every single place gave us their normal group prices because we lined out we don't want a wedding package with red carpet and fizz for everyone and stuff that would usually be part of it.

iamwhoiam · 25-06-2018 08:15AM

knipex wrote: »

Most of the weddings I have been to with kids (not all) is about having sugar high kids running around the hotel causing mayhem while the parents get blotto, singing songs, dancing until 5am. At some point that night some poor sod (probably not even related) end up with a kid sleeping on their lap and trying to convince the parents its time to put them to bed.

The weddings I have been to lately with kids were nothing like that ! The kids went out to a room with an entertainer after they were fed .
Then they came back to join in the dancing and played together
Most people had brought a babysitter and put the small ones to bed at a reasonable hour . I just suppose it goes to show that everyone is different and no one suit fits every family .

heroics · 25-06-2018 08:55AM

Just had a look at our wedding budget. Got married about 4 years ago and had ~180 guests

Wedding 25k
Honeymoon 10k

Not sure how much we got in gifts as didn't take a note of it but from memory was about 10k. We were surprised at how generous some guests were.

razorblunt · 25-06-2018 09:01AM

About £12k.
We were happy enough to spend it really.

Dakota Dan · 25-06-2018 09:14AM

awec wrote: »

There's a bit of inverse snobbery going on in this thread.

"Oh, I paid only 500 euro for my wedding, we had the meal in McDonalds don't you know and we invited two guests and a cat!".

Each to their own. There are great expensive weddings and crap expensive weddings, just like there are great cheap ones and crap cheap ones.

People can spend what they want, but I would say that the "normal" wedding that Irish people are used to is more expensive than you would think. I would imagine a lot of couples go in thinking they want to do it on a tiny budget, but then they realise just how little you get for that money and the budget goes up accordingly.

A "normal" wedding, with 100-150 guests, photographer, video, musicians, band, DJ, dresses, suits, flowers etc, you'd be doing well to do it for under 10k.

30k sounds like mad money but it'd be easier than you think to spend this much if you went for a more exclusive venue and had a larger wedding. Some venues will charge €100+ per head.

So if you want a cheap wedding you're a snob?

iamwhoiam · 25-06-2018 09:17AM

Dakota Dan wrote: »

So if you want a cheap wedding you're a snob?

No but if you judge others who do not then you are judgmental .

wakka12 · 25-06-2018 09:21AM

I hate the big white weddings , just all so unnecessary and fake. one of my aunts got married in a little chapel with immediate family and a handful of best friends, in a beautiful setting in the mountains in russia where she's from, then had a nice dinner at home prepared by family. If I ever get married Id much prefer the less fuss one but clearly I'm in the minority!

lazygal · 25-06-2018 09:22AM

awec wrote: »

There's a bit of inverse snobbery going on in this thread.

"Oh, I paid only 500 euro for my wedding, we had the meal in McDonalds don't you know and we invited two guests and a cat!".

Each to their own. There are great expensive weddings and crap expensive weddings, just like there are great cheap ones and crap cheap ones.

People can spend what they want, but I would say that the "normal" wedding that Irish people are used to is more expensive than you would think. I would imagine a lot of couples go in thinking they want to do it on a tiny budget, but then they realise just how little you get for that money and the budget goes up accordingly.

A "normal" wedding, with 100-150 guests, photographer, video, musicians, band, DJ, dresses, suits, flowers etc, you'd be doing well to do it for under 10k.

30k sounds like mad money but it'd be easier than you think to spend this much if you went for a more exclusive venue and had a larger wedding. Some venues will charge €100+ per head.

Once you can afford it who cares what it cost. We had the money ready to spend, we also had a house bought and other savings. Not everyone has to scrimp and cut corners just because other people think a cheaper day means its better. Once you aren't relying on anyone else to pay for it, spend what you want. I have zero regrets about the money we spent, in fact I'd have spent more on a couple of things in hindsight.

iamwhoiam · 25-06-2018 09:33AM

lazygal wrote: »

Once you can afford it who cares what it cost. We had the money ready to spend, we also had a house bought and other savings. Not everyone has to scrimp and cut corners just because other people think a cheaper day means its better. Once you aren't relying on anyone else to pay for it, spend what you want. I have zero regrets about the money we spent, in fact I'd have spent more on a couple of things in hindsight.

And good for you .I find it bizarre that people seem to criticise others for how they want their own special day .As long as its not affecting them why the fuss !

LirW · 25-06-2018 09:49AM

iamwhoiam wrote: »

And good for you .I find it bizarre that people seem to criticise others for how they want their own special day .As long as its not affecting them why the fuss !

Agree there, I think what makes people cynical about it is the anecdotal evidence, everyone knows a case where people in fact didn't have the money, people feel summoned, people can't say no to things and for many a calendar full of weddings that are all very similar during the summer months.
Like there's this girl I briefly know who just got engaged, she never lived with her partner, both don't have savings and are starting to plan a big country house wedding.
Some people find big weddings very impersonal.

I think it's not really against couples per se, it's more about how things run wedding-wise in general.

At the end of the day I'm happy for the couple, none is the same, some have the money, some want that, some live beyond their means, some don't like the fuss at all.

People who live for extra events won't understand people who don't like fuss and vice versa.

irelandrover · 25-06-2018 09:57AM

Phoenix Stale Viking wrote: »

Children are annoying, running around making noise during speeches, during the mass and in general getting in the way of people enjoying themselves and drinking etc.

No need for them at weddings at all. You are obviously one of them annoying parents who care about nothing but your “little darlings”. Most parents I know are just glad to be away form their kids for a day or two and have a proper night on the beer etc.

Didn't you state that weddings are a day for family. What if your family includes children?

what do weddings cost the couple overall??

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