How common is it for people to leave their lives behind?

Blaas4life · 21-06-2018 06:44PM

Had a 2nd cousin that emigrated to america and disappeared ...

his sister found him in a pub after 15 years and they talked for about 5 mins and he walked out the door and noone seen sight nor sound of him for another 8 years...

Until one day he rang home and said he wanted to face his demons....turns out he and rake of others had been abused by a local growing up and didn't want to face come homing home until he (abuser) was dead

kupus · 21-06-2018 06:59PM

Trasna1 wrote: »

It's next to impossible to disappear like that in Ireland, the country is far too small. If you wanted to walk away from your old life you would need to emigrate.

You would think that, but, I was lost downtown in some city I had just moved to, saw this couple walking and asked them directions and the reply back was...
jesus we dont know we're from Roscommon.
And yes, turns out we knew some of the same people!

pauliebdub · 21-06-2018 07:32PM

It's relatively common, I know quite a few people who have moved to Canada or Australia to escape from a toxic family and an unhappy life more than looking for better opportunities or lifestyle.

Potential-Monke · 21-06-2018 07:35PM

I'm currently looking into getting out of this hell. There's nothing in this country for me anymore. It's a combination of mental health issues and existing, rather than living. Will it be better in another country? Who knows, but there should be better opportunities. I have a mate in Canada for the last 4 years and he reckons it's the best move he ever made. So I'm looking into Canada, and Japan on a TEFL, as I have a BA which is useless to me in this country.

rainbowtrout · 21-06-2018 10:16PM

This guy known as Peter Bergmann, probably Austrian, came to Sligo presumably to die and went to great lengths not to be identified, and hasn't been as of yet.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Bergmann_Case

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVOZ7YPOakI

shakeitoff · 21-06-2018 10:29PM

That's bizarre. Utterly bizarre.

Graces7 · 22-06-2018 01:45AM

Mutant z wrote: »

Ireland is a small place its virtually impossible to go anywhere without bumping into someone you know you would need to be somewhere the size of Russia or China to truly escape from everything.

Not true in my considerable experience. Maybe you do not realise how sparsely populated some places are in Ireland and how easy it is to vanish..

No one here in deepest Mayo knows me. Or anyone I know, They only know what I tell them about myself and as I see almost no one that is very little . Harder if you are eg working but I am a pensioner. Money goes into the bank and shopping is delivered.
No one here knows where I came from, or anything else much. And I certainly would never see anyone I knew in other places,

Not a wilful escape but a matter of practical privacy and peace. Not escaping but seeking ...

Hector Bellend · 22-06-2018 10:18AM

There's very rarely a "new start" or a "clean start" in life.

It's only temporary respite.

If your life is bad enough to run away from then it will eventually catch up.

shakeitoff · 22-06-2018 10:23AM

Hector Bellend wrote: »

There's very rarely a "new start" or a "clean start" in life.

It's only temporary respite.

If your life is bad enough to run away from then it will eventually catch up.

I've always been a happy go lucky guy but I remember I had this harsh realisation that ultimately you are always you. It's not the place, it's you that's the problem. I'm always bemused by these people who emigrate because Ireland didn't have what they wanted and people are more 'open-minded' elsewhere. The reality is everyone is the same give or take a few cultural and national quirks. (That can be viewed as a good or bad thing depending on which way you look at it)

rainbowtrout · 22-06-2018 10:26AM

Graces7 wrote: »

No one here in deepest Mayo knows me. Or anyone I know, They only know what I tell them about myself ..

But you are still completing ignoring the point that you are from the UK. The point most people have made on this thread is that if you are Irish it is virtually impossible to move to another part of Ireland and not be found. Someone will make a connection to someone you know somewhere :from your family, hometown, someone you went to school or college with, played football with, worked with etc.

Far easier to be unknown if you moved here from a different country. Anyone can do that.

razorblunt · 22-06-2018 10:35AM

In a weird coincidence there was an article on the BBC yesterday about the fella in the Manic Street Preachers that just up and vanished in the 90s. Left his London hotel and hasn't been seen since.

My Dad tells a story of a fella who vanished one day in the 70s/80s. He was relatively young, in his early 20s.
Family searched for years. His mother died not knowing his whereabouts years later but he came home about 10 years ago, with a terminal illness to see out his days here. Both parents dead. He admitted he'd actually come back a few times and parked the car at the end of the road looking at the family home for a while before heading back on his way. That's rather twisted and cruel for all involved. But you never know what goes on behind closed doors I guess.

How common is it for people to leave their lives behind?

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