How common is it for people to leave their lives behind?

nigel_wilson · 19-06-2018 05:38PM #1

In Ireland mainly? It seems that this is ''commonplace'' (not exactly common but a room of people would have stories) in the US but I have not heard of it in Ireland except for the few missing person cases and all of those are completely unsolved so you don't know whether they were abducted and/or murdered or simply just chose to leave.

I'm surprised we don't hear about teen runaways.

Ficheall · 19-06-2018 06:49PM

People die all the time..

Conservatory · 19-06-2018 06:50PM

Pa went for a pack of cigarettes.

silverharp · 19-06-2018 08:08PM

There is something in the US called end of the liners or something similar, basically they head for places like Alaska ,find a cabin somewhere and cut off all contact with their old lives. In Ireland its probably called Leitrim

ArnoldJRimmer · 19-06-2018 08:13PM

silverharp wrote: »

There is something in the US called end of the liners or something similar, basically they head for places like Alaska ,find a cabin somewhere and cut off all contact with their old lives. In Ireland its probably called Leitrim

You nearly had a point, but everyone knows that Leitrim doesn't exist

Eggs For Dinner · 19-06-2018 08:14PM

Have a look in the Weddings Forum. For every bride to be posting, there is a fallen comrade who leaves behind all that he was.

"Lest We Forget"

nthclare · 19-06-2018 08:14PM

Back in the 80's they ran away with the circus or carnival....

Del2005 · 19-06-2018 08:18PM

nigel_wilson wrote: »

In Ireland mainly? It seems that this is ''commonplace'' (not exactly common but a room of people would have stories) in the US but I have not heard of it in Ireland except for the few missing person cases and all of those are completely unsolved so you don't know whether they were abducted and/or murdered or simply just chose to leave.

I'm surprised we don't hear about teen runaways.

Plenty of Irish have emigrated and have no contact with their family or friends, not as common now with the Internet but till the end of the last century communication was slow and rare.

wexie · 19-06-2018 08:21PM

Del2005 wrote: »

Plenty of Irish have emigrated and have no contact with their family or friends, not as common now with the Internet but till the end of the last century communication was slow and rare.

really? I'm pretty sure I remember using the internet, email and phones before the end of last century....

but I guess in the terms of a century you're probably right.

Hector Bellend · 19-06-2018 08:25PM

Usually mid ****.

I'll be screaming things at Kelly Brooke' tits, then reality bites

Lady Spangles · 19-06-2018 08:32PM

I don't think anyone in Ireland could make a new start *in* Ireland. They would need to emigrate and Britain would be the easiest place to get to (especially if doing a midnight flit). I went the other way: I left Liverpool and came to Ireland for a new start (cutting off contact with everyone except my awesome parents).

To disappear completely is more complicated. I mean, when disappearing is more than just a "new start" in a new country. Many go to the lengths of assuming a new identity (a process called "ghosting" is apparently quite common - it involves stealing the identity of a dead child who would have been about your age, had they lived).

In England, London is the easiest place to vanish. The city is huge, community is almost non-existent and it's an endless metropolis. Dublin might be the same, but it's a stretch. In short, if you want to vanish, you can.

josip · 19-06-2018 09:27PM

Lady Spangles wrote: »

...Many go to the lengths of assuming a new identity (a process called "ghosting" is apparently quite common - it involves stealing the identity of a dead child who would have been about your age, had they lived)...

Frederik Forsyth has a lot to answer for..

PARlance · 19-06-2018 09:41PM

Our neighbour growing up did a runner. Left his wife and two kids behind, never to be seen again. Well he was seen, people knew that he was living in another country, he just never returned.

Ray Palmer · 19-06-2018 10:01PM

Where my mother grew up a father had a blazing argument and stormed out. He never came back. The mother and children cursed his name. Thirty years later the Garda arrived at the house asking about the father.
It turns out he had fallen in the Dublin Wicklow mountains and they just found his body and were following up based on a wallet they found. His friends had always thought it weird he disappeared and he used to go for long walks to clear his head. So it seems he fell when walking and never left his family

Lady Spangles · 19-06-2018 10:10PM

This case happened in the UK, but it's baffled me ever since it first happened. The kid literally walked off the page. London is under heavy surveillance at all times, terror threat or no, yet this boy still somehow managed to evade all cameras. It's also a relatively recent case, happening well into the age of social media, mobile phones and all manner of other technology.

So yeah, as I said above, vanishing is still very much possible. Linky!

doolox · 19-06-2018 10:15PM

Because America is a big continent with limitless borders, common language and huge population it is common for overly burdened men to disappear especially if they have knowledge of other American languages and cultures such as Spanish and Portuguese which allows them to disappear to Mexico or Brazil, which do not have good relationships with the USA regarding fugitives and extradition.

When faced with a lifetime of heavy payments for child support and alimony on a small and limited income running away can become a desperate but attractive solution. Especially if you hate the wife and the kids have been turned against you. It happens.

RhubarbCrumble · 19-06-2018 10:56PM

Lady Spangles wrote: »

This case happened in the UK, but it's baffled me ever since it first happened. The kid literally walked off the page. London is under heavy surveillance at all times, terror threat or no, yet this boy still somehow managed to evade all cameras. It's also a relatively recent case, happening well into the age of social media, mobile phones and all manner of other technology.

So yeah, as I said above, vanishing is still very much possible. Linky!

I knew that would be Andrew Gosden before I clicked the link. He had apparently been talking to someone online and it's assumed that he went to meet them. By all accounts he was quite naive and not streetwise. Sadly I think he met with an unhappy ending soon after meeting whoever it was he went to see.

I don't think he vanished of his own accord.

Permabear · 19-06-2018 10:58PM

This post has been deleted.

19-06-2018 11:03PM

Ireland is far, far too small for any of that "find myself"/ "disappear myself" nonsense from Hollywood. You could be standing in a field in the middle of the Oileáin Árann and the fella who comes across you would just keep talking to you until he makes a connection. And he will make that connection.

It's incredible how common that is, and how shockingly tiny this society is.

Lady Spangles · 19-06-2018 11:16PM

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

I knew that would be Andrew Gosden before I clicked the link. He had apparently been talking to someone online and it's assumed that he went to meet them. By all accounts he was quite naive and not streetwise. Sadly I think he met with an unhappy ending soon after meeting whoever it was he went to see.

I don't think he vanished of his own accord.

While that's more than likely true, it's still strange that no cameras picked him up as he left the station and into the presumed stranger's car. That whole area is covered and would have been more so after the Underground attacks, a year or so before.

Mrs OBumble · 19-06-2018 11:46PM

Del2005 wrote: »

Plenty of Irish have emigrated and have no contact with their family or friends, not as common now with the Internet but till the end of the last century communication was slow and rare.

For some it was deliberate: when i was growing up on the other side of the world, it was common to hear of Irish guys dying and all anyone knew was that they'd cpme from Ireland. They didn't share any more details because they just wanted to forget.

Trasna1 · 19-06-2018 11:59PM

It's next to impossible to disappear like that in Ireland, the country is far too small. If you wanted to walk away from your old life you would need to emigrate.

Graces7 · 20-06-2018 07:17AM

ArnoldJRimmer wrote: »

You nearly had a point, but everyone knows that Leitrim doesn't exist

Hmm. I lived there several years ... good place...

Graces7 · 20-06-2018 07:19AM

Lady Spangles wrote: »

I don't think anyone in Ireland could make a new start *in* Ireland. They would need to emigrate and Britain would be the easiest place to get to (especially if doing a midnight flit). I went the other way: I left Liverpool and came to Ireland for a new start (cutting off contact with everyone except my awesome parents).

To disappear completely is more complicated. I mean, when disappearing is more than just a "new start" in a new country. Many go to the lengths of assuming a new identity (a process called "ghosting" is apparently quite common - it involves stealing the identity of a dead child who would have been about your age, had they lived).

In England, London is the easiest place to vanish. The city is huge, community is almost non-existent and it's an endless metropolis. Dublin might be the same, but it's a stretch. In short, if you want to vanish, you can.

I have vanished from most of Ireland!

Graces7 · 20-06-2018 07:21AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Ireland is far, far too small for any of that "find myself"/ "disappear myself" nonsense from Hollywood. You could be standing in a field in the middle of the Oileáin Árann and the fella who comes across you would just keep talking to you until he makes a connection. And he will make that connection.

It's incredible how common that is, and how shockingly tiny this society is.

Come to wild Mayo. It is a world apart, thankfully! And/or one of the isles

_Brian · 20-06-2018 07:39AM

I remember back in the late 70’ss neighbor of ours walked out one day, left his wages on the table for his mother and left. He was spotted waiting on the bus to Dublin and never seen again. Single man in his 20’s.

20-06-2018 08:30AM

They say 7 degrees of separation in the world. In my opinion its about 3 in Ireland. EXCEPT, North of Ireland Unionist / Protestant community where its definitely 7 degrees of separation.

whisky_galore · 20-06-2018 08:35AM

Anyone on witness protection or anyone released from prison after a 'controversial' crime I guess.

WildWater · 20-06-2018 09:20AM

Lady Spangles wrote: »

This case happened in the UK, but it's baffled me ever since it first happened. The kid literally walked off the page. London is under heavy surveillance at all times, terror threat or no, yet this boy still somehow managed to evade all cameras. It's also a relatively recent case, happening well into the age of social media, mobile phones and all manner of other technology.

So yeah, as I said above, vanishing is still very much possible. Linky!

It's a really sad case and one I had not heard of before but you are making him sound like Jason Bourne. From the article that you linked to:

It was 27 days before the CCTV footage at Kings Cross came to light.
Initially the London MET were not involved it was the BTP (who clearly could have done a better job).

It doesn't say when the London MET got involved but its likely they only got actively involved after the Kings Cross CCTV emerged. So, far from him somehow managing to evade all cameras the likely explanation is that any potential recording of him was destroyed by the time the police came looking.

Sad.

Call me Al · 20-06-2018 09:31AM

Graces7 wrote: »

Come to wild Mayo. It is a world apart, thankfully! And/or one of the isles

I'm afraid moving to a wild Mayo island (not the one you're on admittedly but spitting distance away) doesn't make you immune from bumping into people who might know you (or of you) once there can be any sort of throughput of people or even just seasonal population influx.

Unless of course a person was making a conscious decision to go off the reservation or assuming a completely new identity.
It would be very hard to keep up such a pretence though without a significant amount of planning and or self-sacrifice.

rainbowtrout · 20-06-2018 09:52AM

Graces7 wrote: »

Come to wild Mayo. It is a world apart, thankfully! And/or one of the isles

Moving to a very rural part of Ireland/one of the islands, just means that everyone in a 20 mile radius will have heard that you're moving in before you actually do, and have your backstory before you introduce yourself to anyone.

How common is it for people to leave their lives behind?

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