Is 200 enough of a wedding present from a couple?

_Dara_ · 18-06-2018 04:11PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

As you can see from some of the posters here, some do. I would not be surprised to hear that some of them keep a spreadsheet of who gave what so they can reciprocate with precision.

I kept a spreadsheet just so that I could personalise each thank you card. Not amounts but the gift type. The spreadsheet also helped me to organise writing the cards.

nthclare · 18-06-2018 04:11PM

jk23 wrote: »

Just reading this thread all I can think of the BOOM is back, it’s crazy basically friends are paying for the couple to get married :O

Chocolate fountains, with gold flake...

Maybe a few wolfhounds running around reception, a falconer outside, and a huge fish tank with two beluga whales swimming about....

Paid for by the guests...

300 euros please...

And an extra for a receipt.....

jk23 · 18-06-2018 04:15PM

nthclare wrote: »

Chocolate fountains, with gold flake...

Maybe a few wolfhounds running around reception, a falconer outside, and a huge fish tank with two beluga whales swimming about....

Paid for by the guests...

300 euros please...

And an extra for a receipt.....

Also dont forget the photo booth and ice cream truck!!!

trixi001 · 18-06-2018 04:17PM

I have heard a few complaints from people in the south complaining that Northern guests are stingy
They forget that northern wages are a lot lower!
At home I would give £100 per couple plus a small gift usually
If the couple are from the south - I give €150 plus a small gift - and feel stingy for this - but we can't afford more
I hate going to weddings in the south - expected to give a bigger present, extortionate hotel costs - the only good bit it the diesel is cheaper!

_Dara_ · 18-06-2018 04:21PM

trixi001 wrote: »

I have heard a few complaints from people in the south complaining that Northern guests are stingy
They forget that northern wages are a lot lower!
At home I would give £100 per couple plus a small gift usually
If the couple are from the south - I give €150 plus a small gift - and feel stingy for this - but we can't afford more
I hate going to weddings in the south - expected to give a bigger present, extortionate hotel costs - the only good bit it the diesel is cheaper!

Even in England, weddings aren’t the money-orientated event they are here. Gifts of lower value than here are the norm.

€150 is plenty though. Any couple that would complain about that amount is utterly classless.

darced · 18-06-2018 05:51PM

This post has been deleted.

iamwhoiam · 18-06-2018 05:56PM

darced wrote: »

Nothing sadder than expecting your wedding to be paid for by the guests, anyone with any class would state no gifts on the invite.

Nothing wrong with wedding gifts as long as its not expected

lisasimpson · 18-06-2018 07:50PM

What would you give someone who is getting married for the 2nd time in 10 years? Considerig you gave them the standard the 1st time.. recent question asked in work

18-06-2018 10:54PM

iamwhoiam wrote: »

The imposter sat at the bar flirting with all and sundry and both sides thought she was the others mad auntie !

I don’t know how this happens, I’ve around 250 coming to my wedding and I’ll have someone not invited spotted before the first course is finished if not before if it were to happen.

trixi001 wrote: »

I have heard a few complaints from people in the south complaining that Northern guests are stingy
They forget that northern wages are a lot lower!
At home I would give £100 per couple plus a small gift usually
If the couple are from the south - I give €150 plus a small gift - and feel stingy for this - but we can't afford more
I hate going to weddings in the south - expected to give a bigger present, extortionate hotel costs - the only good bit it the diesel is cheaper!

It’s not Northern Ireland in particular, the English are notoriously stingy when it come to wedding gifts. People with loads of money giving only 100 pounds as a coupe etc.

iamwhoiam · 18-06-2018 11:13PM

Miles Wrong Babbler wrote: »

I don’t know how this happens, I’ve around 250 coming to my wedding and I’ll have someone not invited spotted before the first course is finished if not before if it were to happen.

It’s not Northern Ireland in particular, the English are notoriously stingy when it come to wedding gifts. People with loads of monthly giving only 100 pounds as a coupe etc.

Why is that stingy ? People are kind enough to give a present and yet you consider under a certain amount stingy ?
Is there an amount you consider acceptable and to your liking ?
I can't believe people actually think like this

CeilingFly · 18-06-2018 11:24PM

€200???

I'm tempted to get divorced and remarry!! 😁

We asked guests to bring a piece of Irish craft from small local producers and we asked that it includes information on the artist - pottery, pictures, glasswork, woodwork etc.

We have a brilliant collection of various crafts from students in NCAD to pottery from potters no longer operating.

Almost 20 years later and most items are still used on a regular basis and we have a unique collection of fantastic crafts all with their own story.

Money can't buy that.

CeilingFly · 18-06-2018 11:26PM

Miles Wrong Babbler wrote: »

It’s not Northern Ireland in particular, the English are notoriously stingy when it come to wedding gifts. People with loads of monthly giving only 100 pounds as a coupe etc.

But in England many people marry several times, so €100 for each wedding adds up 😁

Electric Sheep · 18-06-2018 11:26PM

Miles Wrong Babbler wrote: »

It’s not Northern Ireland in particular, the English are notoriously stingy when it come to wedding gifts. People with loads of monthly giving only 100 pounds as a coupe etc.

It's not stingy when it's the social norm in that country.

Up until Celtic Tiger days nobody except perhaps close family members gave the ostentatiously large wedding presents that have become the norm in Ireland and are now expected.

I suspect most wedding guests these days would prefer to return to the old system where the couple paid for their own wedding, and the guests are, well, guests.

freshpopcorn · 18-06-2018 11:30PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

It's not stingy when it's the social norm in that country.

Up until Celtic Tiger days nobody except perhaps close family members gave the ostentatiously large wedding presents that have become the norm in Ireland and are now expected.

I suspect most wedding guests these days would prefer to return to the old system where the couple paid for their own wedding, and the guests are, well, guests.

The old system people often gave presents to the couple that would be useful for when they moved in together for the first time. This isn't really the case anymore!
Now people feel sue they have a toaster. kettle, cutlery, etc so cash is what is seen as useful now.

Electric Sheep · 18-06-2018 11:40PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

The old system people often gave presents to the couple that would be useful for when they moved in together for the first time. This isn't really the case anymore!
Now people feel sue they have a toaster. kettle, cutlery, etc so cash is what is seen as useful now.

Cash is always useful! But the expectations for the amount have gotten out of hand.

Hallowed · 18-06-2018 11:46PM

Couchpotato82 wrote: »

I’m ok with this. If you chose to give a cheap gift then you are stingy. Simple as.
I count myself very lucky that my friends and family don’t have the miserly trait as, outside of this thread I don’t think it’s ever even come up in conversation about a gift being “too much”

Tosser

freshpopcorn · 18-06-2018 11:54PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Cash is always useful! But the expectations for the amount have gotten out of hand.

I think people expectations for almost everything have increased since before!

Galway K9 · 19-06-2018 12:13AM

_Dara_ wrote: »

Aaaah, afters would be a LOT less. €50 or a voucher. Expecting anything more from an afters guest is madness.

I wouldn't think you'd need to contribute anything if your an afters guest, you weren't part of the wedding just asked to attend the drinks after when everyone is hammered

JustAThought · 19-06-2018 12:18AM

CeilingFly wrote: »

€200???

I'm tempted to get divorced and remarry!! ðŸ˜

We asked guests to bring a piece of Irish craft from small local producers and we asked that it includes information on the artist - pottery, pictures, glasswork, woodwork etc.

We have a brilliant collection of various crafts from students in NCAD to pottery from potters no longer operating.

Almost 20 years later and most items are still used on a regular basis and we have a unique collection of fantastic crafts all with their own story.

Money can't buy that.

Yes indeed - it did.
And no doubt like today crafts from NCAD or any other specialist craft 'shop' or gallery comes with a hefty pricetag.

awec · 19-06-2018 12:56AM

trixi001 wrote: »

I have heard a few complaints from people in the south complaining that Northern guests are stingy
They forget that northern wages are a lot lower!
At home I would give £100 per couple plus a small gift usually
If the couple are from the south - I give €150 plus a small gift - and feel stingy for this - but we can't afford more
I hate going to weddings in the south - expected to give a bigger present, extortionate hotel costs - the only good bit it the diesel is cheaper!

Wedding gifts in NI is a whole different experience to here. People don't give as much. A lot more sensible.

They also in general don't invite as many people as people in the south. It seems down here (especially in the country), you have to invite every person you've ever met, the girl who cut your hair when you were 7, the friend of your mother who babysat you once when you were a baby and John and Susan from up the road cause sure they always say hello when you walk past and you'd be the talk of the town if you didn't invite them.

Nobody really has 200+ friends and family.

erica74 · 19-06-2018 07:39AM

JP85 wrote: »

Have you been married yourself, so you had a hard no to people even though your parents put the pressure on?

I wasn't looking to make money out of the wedding, we had an amazing day (apart from the weather) If somebody didnt have it to give, i wouldnt begrudge them

You were looking to make money, that's why it bothered you and you did begrudge them and still begrudge them now.

It was your wedding, you should have invited the people you wanted there, no more, no less. If you were paying for it, why would you be paying for someone else's choices?

awec wrote: »

Wedding gifts in NI is a whole different experience to here. People don't give as much. A lot more sensible.

They also in general don't invite as many people as people in the south. It seems down here (especially in the country), you have to invite every person you've ever met, the girl who cut your hair when you were 7, the friend of your mother who babysat you once when you were a baby and John and Susan from up the road cause sure they always say hello when you walk past and you'd be the talk of the town if you didn't invite them.

Nobody really has 200+ friends and family.

Yes! People invite so and so because their ma said they had to and then they whinge about it

Lord Glentoran · 19-06-2018 07:44AM

Wedding invites - a summons to a Verruca Salt fantasy theme day. They are lucky to get anything at all TBH.

_Dara_ · 19-06-2018 07:47AM

Miles Wrong Babbler wrote: »

I don’t know how this happens, I’ve around 250 coming to my wedding and I’ll have someone not invited spotted before the first course is finished if not before if it were to happen.

It’s not Northern Ireland in particular, the English are notoriously stingy when it come to wedding gifts. People with loads of monthly giving only 100 pounds as a coupe etc.

What’s the relevance of a couple’s income? Are you entitled to a larger gift from a higher-earning couple? And it’s not stingy if it’s the norm. Wedding gifts are smaller in the UK, that’s the norm. Throwing money around seems to be viewed as tacky. And marrying couples cut their cloth to measure. My friend is married to a Welsh guy who was very insistent that they pay for everything beforehand. It was two years of belt-tightening but it was worth it for them. And it meant that whatever gifts they received were a bonus.

rob316 · 19-06-2018 08:40AM

Honestly I just go to the afters unless it's a close friend or family member I like. Nearly every wedding is a carbon copy of the last. I don't really want the food as I can't enjoy drinks after.
The speeches are long, tedious and you can't wait for them to be over.

On what you give generally 200 for a couple but give what you can afford don't feel obliged to pay for the couple's day.

The best wedding I've been to was a buffet BBQ in a beer garden. The food was way better than some stodgy 3 course hotel meal and the atmosphere just far more casual.

An invitation is an invoice. They reckon it costs 750 for a couple in Ireland to go to a wedding, it doesn't sound far off. I can go do something I actually want to do with that money.

19-06-2018 08:50AM

awec wrote: »

Nobody really has 200+ friends and family.

Yes they do easily, between the people couple want to invite and the people their parents want it is very very easy to have 200+ people

erica74 wrote: »

It was your wedding, you should have invited the people you wanted there, no more, no less. If you were paying for it, why would you be paying for someone else's choices?

Its not just the couples day its a family event, parents should and do have a big say in invites too. Its their day too. Only a pig of a son/daughter would act up against their parents.

iamwhoiam · 19-06-2018 08:57AM

Miles Wrong Babbler wrote: »

Yes they do easily, between the people couple want to invite and the people their parents want it is very very easy to have 200+ people

Its not just the couples day its a family event, parents should and do have a big say in invites too. Its their day too. Only a pig of a son/daughter would act up against their parents.

I wouldn't dream of having a say in my daughters big day . She involved me and asked opinions and its lovely . At no stage would I insist on anything or force my say . You do know there are no rules set in stone don't you ? To each his own and knowing that is key

JustAThought · 19-06-2018 10:01AM

awec wrote: »

Wedding gifts in NI is a whole different experience to here. People don't give as much. A lot more sensible.

They also in general don't invite as many people as people in the south. It seems down here (especially in the country), you have to invite every person you've ever met, the girl who cut your hair when you were 7, the friend of your mother who babysat you once when you were a baby and John and Susan from up the road cause sure they always say hello when you walk past and you'd be the talk of the town if you didn't invite them.

Nobody really has 200+ friends and family.

An an exercise I just counted up immediate family & their partners -I have 64 -out of them there are 10 that would not make any list ever and another 2 or 4 that would be too frail or disinterested to attend. This is just aunts&uncles, adult married cousins & immediate adult family and their LT partners. No friends. I can well understand how with the immediate family of the partner added on and twenty friends each thrown in each you could get up to 200 guests.
Still would not excuse demanding or expecting them to pay their way. Gonna be a whole lot of lamps and photo frames going in! Charity shops must make an absolute fortune out of weddings!

erica74 · 19-06-2018 10:07AM

Miles Wrong Babbler wrote: »

Yes they do easily, between the people couple want to invite and the people their parents want it is very very easy to have 200+ people

Its not just the couples day its a family event, parents should and do have a big say in invites too. Its their day too. Only a pig of a son/daughter would act up against their parents.

Oh to live in your perfect world.

19-06-2018 10:10AM

Miles Wrong Babbler wrote: »

Yes they do easily, between the people couple want to invite and the people their parents want it is very very easy to have 200+ people

Its not just the couples day its a family event, parents should and do have a big say in invites too. Its their day too. Only a pig of a son/daughter would act up against their parents.

The parents already had their day. Time to move on

19-06-2018 10:14AM

bluewolf wrote: »

The parents already had their day. Time to move on

A wedding is a family event so no, parents should have a major input.

Is 200 enough of a wedding present from a couple?

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