Asking Irish birds out

never_mind · 10-06-2018 01:51AM

FurBabyMomma wrote: »

Thanks for proving the exact points that are provoking such rage in you now. This is the kind of crap women have to deal with every day, and see how easily it comes out? But of course, we're the touchy ones ...

Thank you for proving that some people get outraged and victimised over literally nothing. Bird is not derogatory, it is actually a nice term... we’re here to advise not side track into this debate.

wiggle16 · 10-06-2018 04:19AM

FurBabyMomma wrote: »

Thanks for proving the exact points that are provoking such rage in you now. This is the kind of crap women have to deal with every day, and see how easily it comes out? But of course, we're the touchy ones ...

Awh here.... Referring to women as "birds" is not inherently bad nor inherently good. The word is not derogatory and it tells you absolutely nothing about the OP's attitude to women, so posters jumping on him for using it are being extremely unfair to someone who is simply asking a question.

Women have to put up with actual crap every day, not semantic manufactroversy. The OP used a slang term to refer to women which is in the same class as chap, lad, fella to refer to men. Referring to a grown man as a lad does not infantilise him. They are all placeholder-words. Slang. You don't have to like them but you don't have to make an issue of them either, nor demean someone who came here with a problem but worded it in a way you don't like.

People are making the OP out to be some sort of chauvanist dinosaur, and that's incredibly unfair when all he has done is ask a question, admittedly a naive one.

Also, as an aside, I am at a loss to see what "exact points" that other poster "proved" and how. It seems that when people decide they are right they do not bother to come up with responses that are logically consistent.

igCorcaigh · 10-06-2018 04:46AM

I hope OP works it out OK.

I kinda laughed at the "birds" thing, but that's OK, but not for me to say.

igCorcaigh · 10-06-2018 04:49AM

There's far worse out there, at least OP seems genuine, I wish the best of luck.

igCorcaigh · 10-06-2018 04:51AM

igCorcaigh wrote: »

There's far worse out there, at least OP seems genuine, I wish the best of luck.

That sounds terrible, but I hope you know what I mean.

Sam Quentin · 10-06-2018 05:12AM

Pac1Man wrote: »

OP take the ridiculous reactions of your use of the word 'birds' with a pinch of salt. Those likely to get offended are more prone to spending a lot of time on social media and internet forums, so the reactions you see here are not indicative of actual real life.

Regarding your issue, the cold approach is always a risk. It would be best to have some kind of rapport beforehand.

Totally agree.
He seems like a decent chap.
Yet he comes on here to ask a simple question throws in a bit of banther(birds)and gets knocked down by a few unhappy depressed social media twits!?

Pintman Paddy Losty · 10-06-2018 06:44AM

OP, I wouldn't worry about most of the responses here. A lot of the girls that post on boards are the type that wouldn't be used to getting chatted up on the street so pretend they don't like it.

Most birds love when men pay them attention. Start off just chatting about the weather or something. Then compliment them. Birds love when you up their confidence a bit. Keep it non sexual though. Don't tell her she has a cracking set of fun bags. Just keep it to things like hair, eyes etc. Don't compliment her clothing either or she'll think you're a puddle jumper.

Then just let the conversation naturally flow. Tell her you'd love to take her out for a slap up meal and a few pints and to give you her number. Works most of the time.

Granted I have been out of the dating game for a good few years but the fundamentals stay the same. I do most of my pulling out foreign these days and that's a whole other kettle of fish.

py2006 · 10-06-2018 07:15AM

Equality doesn't come into the equation for a lot Irish women when it comes the dating game. They still expect the men do the hard work and chasing.

In some countries women don't mind men striking up conversations and asking them out in places other than a drunken bar or club but it's a big no no here.

The dating game isn't easy for men, expect turn downs, insults, humiliation etc etc. Some women can be very cruel. But that's generally the pub/club scene.

I'd suggest striking up a rapport with a work colleague or someone in a gym. I did this before, it started as a smile everytime we saw each other and then a hello then casual small talk etc.

If you are a bit sensitive after a breakup I would avoid the club scene

Best of luck

threetrees · 10-06-2018 07:31AM

Tweet them.

Seriously, early 20's, out of a relationship, just live life and do social stuff. Don't be under pressure for a relationship. I think rocking up to a randomer is a bit weird so do the old fashioned thing and strike up conversation for a while first.

Katgurl · 10-06-2018 08:41AM

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Most birds love when men pay them attention. Start off just chatting about the weather or something. Then compliment them. Birds love when you up their confidence a bit. Keep it non sexual though. Don't tell her she has a cracking set of fun bags. Just keep it to things like hair, eyes etc. Don't compliment her clothing either or she'll think you're a puddle jumper.

Then just let the conversation naturally flow. Tell her you'd love to take her out for a slap up meal and a few pints and to give you her number. Works most of the time.

Reluctant as I am to agree with paddy, this is true for me anyway. Obviously I didn't always say yes - was attached or whatever but always flattered.

Even if it was someone I might not have noticed particularly, the confidence is a real turn-on.

I would say even more refreshing for girls to be chatted up in person now when they are jaded with social media.

dudara · 10-06-2018 08:41AM

Posters - less of the generalisations please. The rule of PI is to give advice to the OP which is helpful and constructive. Anything else will be actioned.

And no more discussion on “birds” please. Its been done to death.

dudara

Mr. Incognito · 11-06-2018 12:49PM

What did I say about generalisations?

dudara

heretothere · 11-06-2018 12:49PM

It isn't really the done thing here to randomly chat up girls you just randomly bump into on the street etc. But it worked on me a few times in Australia, e.g meet a guy at the train station etc and I didn't mind. I did find a few of them way too full on and cringy. Like one random fella just stopping in the street and asking for my number :-/ might have worked on an Aussie girl but I was just like....ahhhhh..... no thanks, bye!

So if you are going to try it be subtle! Just nice chit chat about the weather or the bus is very late, do you know if this train stops in xzy land (even if you know it does go there!) and offer to swap numbers.

SONIC2008 · 11-06-2018 01:08PM

Hey OP, just because it isn’t the done thing doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Some people are becoming more and more socially awkward out and about, because they don’t know how to communicate face to face with someone.

I don’t do online dating anymore for the simple reason that I get much better idea of who the person is, in 2 minutes chatting face to face, than I do in a couple of days of messages back and forth. I am in no way against online dating by the way (a lot of my best mates met their long term partners online), it just wasn’t for me.

As a perviously poster said, you’ll get a good idea of whether the conversation is being welcomed by facial expressions.

I am not sure if you socialize in bars or are a part of any clubs (hobbies or sports) etc. but I think getting involved in a club that interests you is a good way to find similar minded people and new friends.

Neyite · 11-06-2018 02:35PM

Mod:

A reminder that PUA is a forbidden topic here.

Also You-Tube links /embedded content are also not allowed. Posts have been deleted that contain those.

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Sam Quentin · 12-06-2018 04:09PM

It doesn't work in Ireland because we'r all píss heads and cant handle real life!
Is that the advice your all giving the op!?

Neyite · 12-06-2018 04:18PM

Sam Quentin wrote: »

It doesn't work in Ireland because we'r all píss heads and cant handle real life!
Is that the advice your all giving the op!?

Mod:

This forum is for advice - give advice to the op or don't post.

If you are not able to do that, or can only take pot-shots at other posters who are following the rules, your post will incur a warning.

12-06-2018 09:38PM

GenericPastMan wrote: »

So, I’m a few months out of a very long relationship. I’m early 20s and basically the first time I’ve been single.

Why don't you try to enjoy being single? It seems madness to want to get away from yourself so quickly by jumping into another relationship.

The most productive and spiritual moments generally come from developing ourselves first. Make yourself better/stronger and a relationship will be much more likely.

Abigall · 12-06-2018 10:10PM

I'm in the same age bracket and think it's a generational thing. Like you I've tried Internet dating since a very long term relationship ended, and with similar results. I would love if people in general were more friendly and outgoing, then it wouldnt seem odd to approach a woman in real life. I think Internet dating is strange and open to many lies. Anyone can (and some do) put up anything about themselves. Better to try to meet someone socially as mentioned at classes or something like that, get to know hhe and let z proper relationship develop. Good luck OP.

Asking Irish birds out

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