Mr. Holmes and You

Ficheall · 09-06-2018 02:31PM #1

I have been a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes since childhood, and, as one does, sometimes try to imagine what he (or inferior real-life inspectors) could discern about me if the need arose.

There are currently a dozen saucers full of Listerine scattered around my house, and I wonder, were I to disappear, if that would give him pause. Assuming he did not have access to my phone, I don't imagine any sane person would see the supposed logic, but I do suspect it might be deemed important for its oddness. I shall spoiler the reason below, lest any of you might waste time pondering, but it is of little relevance, save that it has prompted me to ask you, AHers, what, if you were to disappear, might cause some head-scratching? (We can ignore your sexual depravities for the purposes of the thread if you wish.)

There are a few moths knocking around my house. Tinder date mentioned she'd accidentally killed a load of moths by leaving some contact lens solution out. Listerine was the closest thing I had. Didn't work at all.

09-06-2018 02:37PM

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

pleas advice · 09-06-2018 02:41PM

I suppose for me it would be the cash under the mattress, and the porn

McMurphy · 09-06-2018 03:21PM

Candie wrote: »

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

No sh1t Sherlock....

See what I did there

Donald Trump · 09-06-2018 03:27PM

What about Larry and John?

Ten of Swords · 09-06-2018 04:46PM

Did you score with her or not?

The rest of your story is irrelevant!

Signore Fancy Pants · 09-06-2018 04:48PM

This post has been deleted.

Donald Trump · 09-06-2018 04:53PM

Sounds like an interesting date. You must have had loads to talk about. I always find that when things are going well, I usually try to segue the conversation toward weird and random ways to kill insects.

In fact, upon meeting, I sometimes just go straight into asking up front whether they prefer pulling the legs of daddy-long-legs or pulling the wings off flies. Once I have that sorted, I know whether it's safe or not to let her have a go at puling off me lad

Donald Trump · 09-06-2018 04:54PM

Chewbacca wrote: »

You leave Occams Razor out of this!

Occam used to use his razor for shaving his ballsack.

mackeire · 09-06-2018 04:57PM

Donald Trump wrote: »

Sounds like an interesting date. You must have had loads to talk about. I always find that when things are going well, I usually try to segue the conversation toward weird and random ways to kill insects.

In fact, upon meeting, I sometimes just go straight into asking up front whether they prefer pulling the legs of daddy-long-legs or pulling the wings off flies. Once I have that sorted, I know whether it's safe or not to let her have a go at puling off me lad

Or Mexicans Donald

greencap · 09-06-2018 05:20PM

Ficheall wrote: »

I have been a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes since childhood, and, as one does, sometimes try to imagine what he (or inferior real-life inspectors) could discern about me if the need arose.

There are currently a dozen saucers full of Listerine scattered around my house, and I wonder, were I to disappear, if that would give him pause. Assuming he did not have access to my phone, I don't imagine any sane person would see the supposed logic, but I do suspect it might be deemed important for its oddness. I shall spoiler the reason below, lest any of you might waste time pondering, but it is of little relevance, save that it has prompted me to ask you, AHers, what, if you were to disappear, might cause some head-scratching? (We can ignore your sexual depravities for the purposes of the thread if you wish.)

There are a few moths knocking around my house. Tinder date mentioned she'd accidentally killed a load of moths by leaving some contact lens solution out. Listerine was the closest thing I had. Didn't work at all.

Given the time and weather, you would be found in the local home store and more, in the home furnishings section.

The annoying style of the question, and the presence of so much mouth wash indicates certain extreme lifestyle choices.

Combining this with a necessity to get out of the house on a bright Saturday, means you've gone out but not to do anything particularly masculine.

You'll be too tired from ....... REDACTED ....[activity which required lots of mouthwash] ........... to do anything other than shop.

According to consumer statistics your particular demographic are mostly interested in antiquities, parades, types of gel, home furnishings, and nightclubs.

Theres no local antiquities dealer (you wouldn't be online if there were), and no scheduled parades, and the night clubs haven't yet opened.

You must therefore be in a home furnishings section, probably with a younger man of south American origin, whose name probably starts with an X or Z.

Donald Trump · 09-06-2018 06:39PM

mackeire wrote: »

Or Mexicans Donald

Po-tay-to po-tah-to

That's what I said - Insects

They're making me use that word instead of "rapists".

Grayson · 09-06-2018 06:49PM

Chewbacca wrote: »

You leave Occams Razor out of this!

And possibly James O'Brien.

Occam never intended it to be used in this manner. He meant it as a tool for theological research. And he cribbed it from earlier scholars. He was just the first person to phrase it simply.

Signore Fancy Pants · 09-06-2018 07:05PM

This post has been deleted.

branie2 · 10-06-2018 11:19PM

It's all elementary

Mr. Holmes and You

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