Obese and at breaking point

....... wrote: »

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Yes you do but no one hears what you weigh or what you have lost or gained unless the person is very loud which is rare. There is then a discussion in the group but you don't have to speak or have the Consultant say what your progress was this week if you don't want to.

....... wrote: »

Thats not quite the same thing as a weigh in in front of a group.

The group doesn't know what your weight is. It's done behind a screen as far as I know. Certainly was in the one group I went to.

The support in SW is fantastic. I know at least six lifelong overeaters who have done brilliantly on it. The diet itself isn't great, sweeteners, overly processed stuff is part of the diet. They sell their own range too. This was the main reason I didn't return. That a seeetned yoghurt with gelatine is considered more suitable than a handful of nuts for example didn't sit well with me.

On the plus side you're encouraged to examine not only what you eat but when, how you were feeling at the time and if you can identify the trigger. This and the fact you have someone you can text if you feel the need, other people on the same journey etc is why it works for so many people.

I'm watching a man I care about very much, who has never given himself any self care or time, who has an extremely complicated relationship with food and who would, literally, rather die than see an actual therapist, loose weight in a slow and steady way, gain confidence and begin to take more care of himself

lemontart wrote: »

The OP is stuck, its not like anyone doesn't know to eat less and move more, but there's clearly something blocking them. The OP is well aware they need to lose weight but while SW & WW definitely works, in the short term anyway, I think actually tackling the behaviour around food through CBT or similar might be more helpful.

I did not say that the OP needs to "eat less and move more", nor did I say he shouldn't get therapy. Actually that was another suggestion in my first post. I answered a question re slimming world weigh ins and gave my opinion that the support and self reflection (for want of a better term, I mean looking at why you eat in certain ways etc) aspect is more helpful than the diet itself.

Actually if you were to read my post fully I said the diet itself doesn't it well with me at all, which is why I attended only one meeting. I can't deny though that the groups have helped a fair few people I know personally (and I'm talking 5+ years here for some people). It's probably not the best way for the OP at the moment, IF he is willing to get therapy.

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Okay. Let me explain to you the first thing that happens when a person attends an eating disorder clinic. They are told to immediately cease all dieting. I was also told not to go to the gym, and only do exercise for pleasure, such as dancing or beach walks, until recovered.

Advice such as "join slimming world and go to the gym", however well meaning, feeds the eating disorder. It makes matters worse.

It does not work. If it did, why would the OP feel they were at breaking point?

I'm not sure why you are continuing with this attack, but let me try once more.

I didnt ONCE tell the person to go on a diet.
I said their diet needs to be addressed, this is a fact.

There is a difference between "going on a diet" and "your diet". Your diet is what you typically eat, its not a set plan or routine.

I also didnt advise them to go to the gym.

You can keep ignoring the reality that to lose weight you need to consume fewer calories and burn more, it wont change the facts Im afraid.
Some people are not mentally strong enough to do this on their own, particularly if they are currently obese, thats why they will benefit from psychological help. It will enable them to find out why they keep eating more than they should even when they know its causing the problem. However eating too much is still the problem! Ultimately you treat that by eating less.

Im 100% sure the OP knows they need to exercise more and eat less, its not very complicated. They need someone to help them understand why they cant (currently) do this their own.

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Weight watchers and Unislim etc are fine for people who don't have eating disorders.

I was never once weighed in the eating disorder clinic, for the record. Never once in years of treatment. Why? Because getting over disordered eating has nothing to do with weight. Weight resolves itself (either going up or down) when the eating disorder is eliminated.

You're including patients with eating disorders there who have very low weight. I can assure you that these patients are weighed on every presentation and weight restoration needs to be prioritised at times.
Not all ED clinic experiences are equivalent to yours. The OP's diet needs to be addressed in tandem with any psychological issues. One cannot resolve without the other.

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

If people's weights were announced to a room full of strangers, it'd kill the business model straight away.

Most certainly.

Despite what some may think, Weight Watchers is nothing like some class of reality TV show with eagerly awaited public announcements on this week's losses or gains :rolleyes:

There is typically a period before the meeting proper begins when one gets on the scale. The group leader notes down the results, the weight itself is not even mentioned verbally usually. Some discussion may take place, but not within earshot of anyone else (if the leader has any cop on!).

Like a few have said above, I think the main way you will focus yourself to lose weight is to make goals, and then make them known to others which will in turn keep yourself accountable.

The best way to do the above, will of course be personal to you.

You could do this by joining a slimming club, getting a personal trainer, having a nutritionist. And with the support of them, set yourself some targets.

I find that if you have others know that you are trying to lose weight, and will be checking in with you regularly to see how you are getting on, this will keep you focused on the task much more.

Good Luck !