Are you happy?

mackeire · 18-04-2018 01:15PM

Graces7 wrote: »

Hmmmm,, considering the issues flying around and the poor stateof my health, I not doing tooooooooo badly happiness wise, and have only to walk out and gaze at the ocean in my backyard ....

I feel your pain, my back garden is flooded as well.

sbsquarepants · 18-04-2018 01:30PM

quickbeam wrote: »

On balance, no I guess I'm not.

I fill my life with things that I enjoy and that makes things easier for sure. But it doesn't take away from the fundamental stuff: no family, no close friends, no relationships, no love, and a career path I'm far from happy with. I'm middle aged and more or less completely alone. I don't even have an 'in case of emergency' contact.

Some days I feel it more than others. Today was just somewhere in the middle.

I'm not getting at you, but why not do something about it?

It's never too late - I've recently moved house and there's a woman lives across the road, a widow, I'd say she's mid to late 60's, a really lovely woman. I was talking to her the other day, just random chit chat and she told me she's off to Amsterdam, then Budapest with her boyfriend, he's around the same age.

I remember thinking fair fúcks to her - life is short, you shouldn't spend it moping just because you've had some misfortune. We all have to play the hand we're dealt.

Get yourself out and meet someone - there's no shortage of them out there!

It might take a big effort, but it will be worth it.

Gehad_JoyRider · 18-04-2018 01:36PM

its foolish to reach for anything, that's 99% of the time is unobtainable.

I'll go with content. Am I Content? not exactly but I'm of aware why and making my best of a difficult situation.

Graces7 · 18-04-2018 02:08PM

mackeire wrote: »

I feel your pain, my back garden is flooded as well.

Ah no! I mean the Atlantic Ocean is all but at the garden here! I put that badly!

We are high enough that there is no danger,,, just is an inspiration and a soul lifter to look at it... So sorry and about your garden

Graces7 · 18-04-2018 02:14PM

o1s1n wrote: »

Next time ask them to show you the archeological proof that Jerusalem was destroyed in 607 and not 587 BCE. (Hint, there is none)

Not sure how familiar you are with their teachings but basically if their date is wrong (it is) all of their other teachings fall flat on their face.

Sadly they've really dulled down the biblical study side of their religion over the last 10-15 years in favour of cult like love bombing and emotion manipulation instead. So half of them probably be won't even know what you're talking about.

JWs hate me as I know the Bible far better than they ever will... They have not found me here! Last place they arrived at the gate in a raging storm so i let the wind take them away

Graces7 · 18-04-2018 02:19PM

quickbeam wrote: »

On balance, no I guess I'm not.

I fill my life with things that I enjoy and that makes things easier for sure. But it doesn't take away from the fundamental stuff: no family, no close friends, no relationships, no love, and a career path I'm far from happy with. I'm middle aged and more or less completely alone. I don't even have an 'in case of emergency' contact.

Some days I feel it more than others. Today was just somewhere in the middle.

I was like that for decades . No job or career either because of illness.

I somehow turned it round and accepted it and said I was not going to let it affect me. And found far more than I ever thought I would.

I think it is the total acceptance? the "SO WHAT?"

Graces7 · 18-04-2018 02:20PM

not yet wrote: »

Happiness is for fools..

In what way?

Graces7 · 18-04-2018 02:22PM

bilbot79 wrote: »

If you woke up this morning and pulled up your own knickers, then it's a good day.

Until the elastic breaks..

PandaPoo · 18-04-2018 02:33PM

I'm very happy. My depression isn't a huge struggle everyday, I've found pills that work for me finally.

I love my job, 2 healthy happy kids, happily married for nearly 4 years, husband loves his job, and for once all my extended family are healthy.

quickbeam · 18-04-2018 03:15PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'm not getting at you, but why not do something about it?

It's never too late - I've recently moved house and there's a woman lives across the road, a widow, I'd say she's mid to late 60's, a really lovely woman. I was talking to her the other day, just random chit chat and she told me she's off to Amsterdam, then Budapest with her boyfriend, he's around the same age.

I remember thinking fair fúcks to her - life is short, you shouldn't spend it moping just because you've had some misfortune. We all have to play the hand we're dealt.

Get yourself out and meet someone - there's no shortage of them out there!

It might take a big effort, but it will be worth it.

I do. Which is covered by the filling my life with things I enjoy bit mentioned in the post. I do plenty of activities and know plenty of people. But close friendships and a relationship haven't come out of them. It's definitely not for want of trying or putting myself out there.

Graces7 · 18-04-2018 03:21PM

quickbeam wrote: »

I do. Which is covered by the filling my life with things I enjoy bit mentioned in the post. I do plenty of activities and know plenty of people. But close friendships and a relationship haven't come out of them. It's definitely not for want of trying or putting myself out there.

They won't. Social activities rarely help. We can be out there too much on a superfical level.

Learning to love and value your own company? A way forward. Stop trying?

uch · 18-04-2018 03:49PM

As a Pig in Shíte

yourdeadwright · 18-04-2018 04:18PM

Graces7 wrote: »

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Sorry to hear that,
But if you not happy you should try looking at it from a different perspective,
Again I'm not preaching to you but for instance ,
Every person in this world will suffer grief and loss its apart of life for every single person on this planet,
Yet you are one of a select few or maybe just the only one that got to call that women mother, See it as a blessing and something that adds to your life not a loss,

. ,

Ah that does not help and can add guilt to the mix. Takes time to grow through it all. Each at a different pace....

Worked for me

Surreptitious · 18-04-2018 05:45PM

'I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour but heaven knows I'm miserable now.'

4Ad · 18-04-2018 06:44PM

Surreptitious wrote: »

'I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour but heaven knows I'm miserable now.'

That you Mozza ?

4Ad · 18-04-2018 06:50PM

Bambi985 wrote: »

Frankly, no. Living in a city I have no future in, fcuk all work life balance, caught in a rut of heartbreak after a breakup and at an age where the world around me is moving quickly and my personal life is standing still.

It was my birthday today and I cried all morning, feeling the real brunt of all of the weight on my shoulders these past few months. The sadness of not being where I’d like to be in life. But I know myself and I know this is a low I won’t let myself go through for much longer so I’m grateful that things have the means to really change.

I don’t think “happy” is something we’re supposed to be 100% of the time. Life isn’t supposed to happen in a straight uncomplicated painfree line. I think true growth happens in those darker moments and those deeper struggles.

Happy Birthday !!

UsBus · 18-04-2018 07:23PM

Happy.? no...drowning to be honest.
Just turned 40, marriage ended a few months back. Back renting with a few strangers. Any friends I had growing up are all married with young kids now so they just have no interest in keeping in touch or doing anything.
The chances of getting my own place are getting further away each day. As for meeting someone again, where would you even start...I'm past the pub scene, even if I had friends to socialise with. It's amazing how easy life can be and then it all slips away.

Graces7 · 18-04-2018 10:04PM

UsBus wrote: »

Happy.? no...drowning to be honest.
Just turned 40, marriage ended a few months back. Back renting with a few strangers. Any friends I had growing up are all married with young kids now so they just have no interest in keeping in touch or doing anything.
The chances of getting my own place are getting further away each day. As for meeting someone again, where would you even start...I'm past the pub scene, even if I had friends to socialise with. It's amazing how easy life can be and then it all slips away.

I know this may sound trite, but things can only get better. Just a change time. I am sure you will find ways through it. Maybe some "good cause" work? That can open doors. Or eg join a walking club? Get active. Learn something new.. I started market trading when I was nearly 60! Now aged heading for 80 am relearning how to live on a tiny island and birdwatching is next..

There is a whole world out there needing thee!

Aglomerado · 18-04-2018 10:21PM

I think so, despite the fact that I've been suffering from depression most of my life. Seem to have hit a sweet spot in recent years, doing lots of things I love, great circle of friends & family, no major worries, just trivial annoyances.... Long may it last.

mohawk · 18-04-2018 11:10PM

Most of the time I am in that middle space between happy and unhappy. A few years ago I was miserable all the time and in a relationship with a serial complainer and had very poor relationships with my family. I was also making cardinal sin of comparing my life to everyone else's. One day I was watching my son play and I realised I needed to be in the moment more and stop worrying about all the unimportant stuff.

I don't have much but I am grateful for what I do have.

mackeire · 19-04-2018 08:46AM

Graces7 wrote: »

[/B]

Ah no! I mean the Atlantic Ocean is all but at the garden here! I put that badly!

We are high enough that there is no danger,,, just is an inspiration and a soul lifter to look at it... So sorry and about your garden

I was only joking. I'm in wexford and can hear the waves breaking on the beach from my house.

Actually going back on topic in this thread, I own my own house, no mortgage, I have a good job which I love doing everyday, and I'm in a better position than a lot of people that I know, I'm a member of the local golf club, I love playing darts and get to play regular competitions etc, so yeah, I am happy and enjoying life.

19-04-2018 10:49AM

The human condition is endlessly fascinating. It really is all about how we feel about ourselves. Say for example you have two people both with little money and little work. One of them will feel useless and depressed due to their circumstance, the other will feel free and beholden to nobody. So much of life is like that. If I can't get the photocopier to work do I shrug my shoulders and try again later or do I spiral down in to self-criticism, how stupid am I that I can't do a simple task.

Vel · 19-04-2018 11:21AM

Overall I am pretty happy. There are a couple of things in my life causing a bit of angst but I am hopeful they can be resolved. I would never have imagined, 2.5 years ago when my partner and I split leaving me a single parent to three kids, that I would ever be happy again. But in some weird way the breakup was the making of me and made me realise just how strong I am.

yourdeadwright · 19-04-2018 03:50PM

If you where in bank and a robber came ,Then fired a warning shot at the ceiling that rebounded and hit your arm would consider yourself lucky or unlucky ?
Some people say lucky some it never hit there head people say unlucky that they got hit at all , Happiness is perspective on life ,

JupiterKid · 19-04-2018 04:01PM

On balance, yes I'm pretty happy. Things have been going quite well lately and the good weather helps too. Sure things could be better but I'm thankful for what I've got and I know there are plenty of people out there much worse off then me.

Often we focus too much on what others seem to have and not enough on the goodness in our own lives. Grass is greener and all that.

Ditto23 · 19-04-2018 04:07PM

Feeling pretty sh1tty at present , my wife is leaving me , rent in dublin is crazy and no chance of setting up a 2nd home so the house has to be sold and the kids put out of their home. As they say when your going through hell keep going. On the bright side the mortgage is just done so there should be enough for two apartments with a small bit of tweaking. Evey cloud eh !

Sleepy · 19-04-2018 04:10PM

Aragh, I'm grand...

(can't believe I'm the first to post that in a 5 page thread!)

PARlance · 19-04-2018 04:17PM

yourdeadwright wrote: »

If you where in bank and a robber came ,Then fired a warning shot at the ceiling that rebounded and hit your arm would consider yourself lucky or unlucky ?
Some people say lucky some it never hit there head people say unlucky that they got hit at all , Happiness is perspective on life ,

I would consider myself very lucky to have a dealing with any human in my bank.

cantdecide · 19-04-2018 04:17PM

I think I've always been able to understand what the really important things are in life but for a very long time I've been distracted by challenging events, exhaustion and degrading economic factors. At all times I've always thought things were just about to change for the better even though things have ended dragging for so many years.

A line from Taxi Driver has always resonated with me: "All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people". In an effort to take back the power and give me someplace to go, I decided in February that once my part time degree is finally finished in May after four years, I'm going to Asia for nine weeks. Maybe in August when I have a clear head and purged the stress of four years of part time study, and with a bit of luck, I can focus on rebuilding finally.

EDIT: I'm not very happy; I'm not unhappy. I'm grand.

Sleepy wrote: »

Aragh, I'm grand...

(can't believe I'm the first to post that in a 5 page thread!)

cantdecide wrote: »

EDIT: I'm not very happy; I'm not unhappy. I'm grand.

That was a coinkydink!

MadamRazz · 19-04-2018 04:31PM

Yes. Or at least I am today.

I've a family that love me. Pets that tolerate me. And after a recent change, a job that I really enjoy. There are loads of daffodils everywhere and I saw a frog today.

I am still sleeping too much and having trouble getting motivated to do anything but I feel confident enough that I'm going to ask the doctor to reduce my anti-depressants a smidge.

Are you happy?

Comments