Am I getting better looking or are women getting more desperate?

CruelCoin · 29-03-2018 08:24AM

Being a strong independent woman gets old after a few years of walking down this isle in the supermarket.

Not saying you're low-lying fruit, but you're no longer premo-a-grade either.

sbsquarepants · 29-03-2018 08:36AM

I'm going to say the second one.

I'm 43 , haven't been single in quite a while but I did definitely notice a trend whereby it got easier and easier to get women as I aged. In my teens I practically had to abduct them, my 20's were hit and miss, my 30's was fish in a barrel, in fact they actually came to me at least as often as went looking for them - it was nothing less than a complete 360.
Now maybe I just upped my game, got all suave and well presented and shít, but I doubt it:D (I've never had a beard, so we can possibly rule that out as the mysterious fanny magnet too)
Leaving the likely culprit being nothing more than a healthy dose of hormone fuelled desperation - but hey, like yourself I'm more Bradley Wiggins than Bradley Cooper, so i'll take that, thank you very much.

My attitude is they can't all be the love of your life "you'll do" was good enough for me 99% of the time. It cuts both ways, no point being all precious about it.

professore · 29-03-2018 08:41AM

Greentopia wrote: »

What makes you think so many women are desperate? lots of women actually enjoy the single life and going out socialising with their girlfriends without being on the hunt for a man, shocking I know.

We're not living in the dark ages where an unmarried woman is seen as a 'spinster' and past it after the age of 35 any more. I was happily single for several years well into my forties. Desperate I certainly was not and I've had friends in a similar situation. And no, I'm not a Victoria Secret model but I'm attractive and I'm a genuine decent person and never had a problem getting a man and having long term relationships.

I've always felt I would rather be single for the rest of my life than 'settle' and be in a relationship or married with someone I wasn't completely happy with. And certainly not with a guy who thinks he's doing me a favour by being with me because he thinks I won't do any better at my age!

Oooh someone's been triggered

professore · 29-03-2018 08:44AM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'm going to say the second one.

I'm 43 , haven't been single in quite a while but I did definitely notice a trend whereby it got easier and easier to get women as I aged. In my teens I practically had to abduct them, my 20's were hit and miss, my 30's was fish in a barrel, in fact they actually came to me at least as often as went looking for them - it was nothing less than a complete 360.
Now maybe I just upped my game, got all suave and well presented and shít, but I doubt it:D (I've never had a beard, so we can possibly rule that out as the mysterious fanny magnet too)
Leaving the likely culprit being nothing more than a healthy dose of hormone fuelled desperation - but hey, like yourself I'm more Bradley Wiggins than Bradley Cooper, so i'll take that, thank you very much.

My attitude is they can't all be the love of your life "you'll do" was good enough for me 99% of the time. It cuts both ways, no point being all precious about it.

I got married at 25 but had the exact same experience leading up to 25 - and to a lesser extent after being married (no I didn't cheat) - and the less I tried the easier it was. Women prefer older men, who preferably are not interested in them, I think it really is that simple.

professore · 29-03-2018 08:48AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

How is that being too hard on yourself? :pac:

Ahh no, honestly you're way over-thinking this thing, probably because you're putting it down to having lost weight and growing the beard, but it's likely you were always attractive to women, you just didn't see it before.

It's not that hard to imagine that just like straight men, straight women too have all sorts of preferences and tastes when it comes to what they find attractive in a man.

Imagine saying that to a woman "it's likely you were always attractive to men but didn't see it before" Makes zero sense. It does for a man however. And they say gender is a social construct

D3V!L · 29-03-2018 08:50AM

professore wrote: »

I got married at 25 but had the exact same experience leading up to 25 - and to a lesser extent after being married (no I didn't cheat) - and the less I tried the easier it was. Women prefer older men, who preferably are not interested in them, I think it really is that simple.

Very true. Being a middle aged white male its the only thing we have going for us.

I'm 6ft 4 myself and like the OP have gone from about 15 stone to around 18. My wife doesn't like me when I'm too skinny and at 15 stone I would be. Women like bigger men, simple.

One eyed Jack · 29-03-2018 09:31AM

professore wrote: »

Imagine saying that to a woman "it's likely you were always attractive to men but didn't see it before" Makes zero sense. It does for a man however. And they say gender is a social construct

I've said it to women before :pac:

It absolutely makes sense like, just as there are as many men who lament their lack of attraction to the opposite sex, so too are there just as many women who feel the same way.

Why wouldn't they? Cosmetics and media companies have been preying on women's insecurities about their appearance for decades, and now they're doing the same for men. I can't go into the local convenience store now without walking past the stacks of barrels of whey and protein powders, bars and shakes. That's before we even mention the rise in sales of male cosmetics like moisturisers!

venusdoom · 29-03-2018 09:38AM

From a ladies point of view here, if you look like you could fit easily into the cast of Vikings, you're in fashion these days. Embrace it. Maybe stick a little plait in that fine beard of yours and watch the ladies swoon..

Hammer89 · 29-03-2018 11:13AM

professore wrote: »

I got married at 25 but had the exact same experience leading up to 25 - and to a lesser extent after being married (no I didn't cheat) - and the less I tried the easier it was. Women prefer older men, who preferably are not interested in them, I think it really is that simple.

I'm not an older bloke though, which a lot of people are overlooking. I'm late 20s, and most, if not all, of these women were older than me I reckon.

optogirl · 29-03-2018 11:16AM

mojesius wrote: »

You sound like Carrie Bradshaw OP

Meanwhile, across town....

Hammer89 · 29-03-2018 11:19AM

venusdoom wrote: »

From a ladies point of view here, if you look like you could fit easily into the cast of Vikings, you're in fashion these days. Embrace it. Maybe stick a little plait in that fine beard of yours and watch the ladies swoon..

The nightclub would have to cover the dancefloor with a tarp if that happened, much like they do at Wimbledon on a rainy day.

CastielJ · 29-03-2018 11:58AM

some women are very desperate with age and afraid to stay lonely

Debtocracy · 29-03-2018 12:04PM

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

Mongfinder General · 29-03-2018 12:05PM

CastielJ wrote: »

some women are very desperate with age and afraid to stay lonely

True story. A single lady on the wrong side of 30 has been watching her friends pair off/get married/have kids for the past few years. A sense of anxiety can easily set in and suddenly they’re considering options that they never would have previously. As for us guys, we’re happy just to blow the muck a couple of times a week. No panic with age.

Avatar MIA · 29-03-2018 01:38PM

Debtocracy wrote: »

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

There's a lot of sense in this post.

the purple tin · 29-03-2018 03:26PM

The woman could have been ovulating. Experiments have shown that while a woman is ovulating she will be attracted to a more masculine type of man ie a big beardy lump of a fella like the op.

Hammer89 · 29-03-2018 04:09PM

the purple tin wrote: »

The woman could have been ovulating. Experiments have shown that while a woman is ovulating she will be attracted to a more masculine type of man ie a big beardy lump of a fella like the op.

So, subconsciously they want my babies.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 29-03-2018 04:29PM

Sorry to burst your bubble OP but you’re fatter and therefore easier to see in nightclubs especially when the women are pissed.

Hammer89 · 29-03-2018 05:06PM

If that were true then fat lads would be swimming in gee at the nightclubs.

Jim Bob Scratcher · 29-03-2018 05:18PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

My experience from work is that a wedding ring increased my attractiveness to women by about 65%.

Is this actually true? and if so why?

topper75 · 29-03-2018 06:00PM

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Is this actually true? and if so why?

Possibly because, up against fellas who have no visible track record of commitment whatsoever, the ring guy always looks a better deal. He has plunged at least once. Maybe he'll ditch that one and do it with me if I flirt just right.

facehugger99 · 29-03-2018 06:45PM

Was probably the drink OP.

Drink gives you all kinds of superpowers.

I'm funnier, more attractive and smarter when I've had a few drinks.

I also know kung-fu and am able to run through hedges for some reason.

Drink is great.

Hammer89 · 29-03-2018 07:21PM

topper75 wrote: »

Possibly because, up against fellas who have no visible track record of commitment whatsoever, the ring guy always looks a better deal. He has plunged at least once. Maybe he'll ditch that one and do it with me if I flirt just right.

Plausible, but women can also be susceptible to big cheating bastards so that might be a factor too.

Avatar MIA · 29-03-2018 07:25PM

topper75 wrote: »

Possibly because, up against fellas who have no visible track record of commitment whatsoever, the ring guy always looks a better deal. He has plunged at least once. Maybe he'll ditch that one and do it with me if I flirt just right.

I've found it the opposite, I've been approached out and will flirt with the best of them if a girl I would fancy comes up to me, but I'd never actually hide the fact I wear a ring*.

*Okay strictly speaking that's a lie, once or twice I might have left my left hand in my pocket, but they suss that soon enough. One time I got daggers when they found out as if I'd betrayed them. They came up to me! :rolleyes: I do miss that flirty bit and goddam it, I'm only going to become more of a catch after I pile on the weight! It's not fair I tell ya!

the purple tin · 29-03-2018 09:07PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

So, subconsciously they want my babies.

It's possible. Female mammals will usually mate with the biggest most virile male so they can have big healthy babies.
And it sounds like the ladies might have been after a one night stand rather than a long term relationship.

Hammer89 · 29-03-2018 10:02PM

the purple tin wrote: »

It's possible. Female mammals will usually mate with the biggest most virile male so they can have big healthy babies.
And it sounds like the ladies might have been after a one night stand rather than a long term relationship.

Little did they know that there was more chance of them getting an accurate lyric from Despacito out of me than a single sperm that night

Autecher · 29-03-2018 11:23PM

If the result of all this in depth analysis is actually that women are getting more desperate then please somebody let me know when they are desperate enough to throw a shag my way. Thanks in advance.

pumpkin4life · 29-03-2018 11:35PM

Debtocracy wrote: »

No you're not getting betting looking. It’s not that women are getting desperate, it’s that the effect of hypergamy lessens after 30.

So hypergamy is at its most extreme at a women’s peak attractiveness, let’s say about 22. If we categorise people into deciles of attractiveness, we should see the following patterns for relationships at this age:

10/10 man - 10/10 woman
9/10 man – 7/10 woman
8/10 man – 5/10 woman
7/10 man – 4/10 woman
6/10 man – 3/10 woman
5/10 man – 2/10 woman

Now hypergamy works fine when most people are single. Basically, the top 20% of men can get with 50%+ of woman through short-term relationships or hook-ups. The problem for hypergamy occurs when people start pairing into monogamous long-term relationships. The 1:1 gender ratio kicks in and women have to start settling for men closer to their own attractiveness level.

If you're a man it makes sense to wait a bit longer to start a long-term relationship. The chances of having a relationship with an attractive, intelligent girl at 22 is very slim – she’ll be in demand from guys from 1/10 - 10/10 and from guys aged 18 to 40. However, such a relationship can become realistic at 32 when you’re no longer competing with most of the ‘good men’ and she’ll probably won’t go for guys under 30. So good things come to those who wait… except if you’re a woman.

Unless you're small, a baldie or socially awkward, in which case you can't really afford to wait.

topper75 · 30-03-2018 11:26AM

the purple tin wrote: »

It's possible. Female mammals will usually mate with the biggest most virile male so they can have big healthy babies.
And it sounds like the ladies might have been after a one night stand rather than a long term relationship.

No harm glancing over shoulders now and then to check how other mammals approach things for comparison sake.

But you don't allow 'other mammals' to write your behaviour rule book. We are humans!

Otherwise you'd be pissing on every odd rock and lamppost you saw and banging heads with other lads in woods of an autumn evening.

professore · 30-03-2018 11:41AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I've said it to women before :pac:

It absolutely makes sense like, just as there are as many men who lament their lack of attraction to the opposite sex, so too are there just as many women who feel the same way.

Why wouldn't they? Cosmetics and media companies have been preying on women's insecurities about their appearance for decades, and now they're doing the same for men. I can't go into the local convenience store now without walking past the stacks of barrels of whey and protein powders, bars and shakes. That's before we even mention the rise in sales of male cosmetics like moisturisers!

If you are an average or below average looking woman, men will hit on you, even if you are a failure in life and unable to string two coherent sentences together. In fact the latter might be an advantage to some men. You don't need to be TOLD you are attractive to men, the evidence is right there in front of you.

A man has to be rich, famous, really good looking, spin a good line of bull**** or some combination of all four to get actively hit on. He has to make the first move and get a good wallop of rejection.

End of story.

Am I getting better looking or are women getting more desperate?

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