Can i ask a question? I dont know how to think.

Agricola · 03-03-2018 10:38PM

She was obviously looking for the Female Friendly Porn, took a wrong turn and ended up in the Lesbian section. Common mistake for the novice female porn peruser.
Set her straight on it, give her a slap on the bum and ask her for a strong cuppa tea and a handshandy before bed. You're welcome.

banie01 · 03-03-2018 10:40PM

Cheerful Spring wrote: »

What do you mean by that? Has she commented before about the looks of women, in a sexual way or just a passing remark?

Darwin Brave Business wrote: »

Haven't a clue, I've never met her. Just a bit of light paedophilia humour.

Whoosh!!!!:pac:

joe6pack · 03-03-2018 10:42PM

eviltwin wrote: »

Do you watch porn yourself OP? If you do then get over yourself.

Thats a completly fair comment and i do of course.....its just the lesbian stuff has me a bit messed up ....sorry

Shenshen · 03-03-2018 10:44PM

joe6pack wrote: »

How do I bring up that conversation? Without making her feel like a pile of crap?? I dont know????Its impossiblie

Why on earth would she feel like a pile of crap? How do you usually start conversations with her, if that's what you're worrying about?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 03-03-2018 10:45PM

Ok seeing as this is apparently serious for you OP.

What is it that has your head melted? Is it that she watches porn? That's normal. As you say it's mostly when you're not there, and maybe she's developing a habit now. Presumably you masturbate, possibly with the aid of porn. It doesn't reflect on your feelings for your wife, does it? Samesies.

Is it that it's lesbian porn? That's normal too. Straight women watch an absolute tonne of lesbian porn. In fact, in the US and Canada, women watch twice as much of it as men do.

There are plenty reasons for this. Pure escapism. Women are possibly a bit more sexually fluid or at least less hung up on the gay thing than men, and conversely, if someone is very very straight, lesbian porn can be attractive because it's so "naughty" or outside the norm. Also there's the fact that straight porn is AWFUL for a lot of women, unless you're into bondage, degradation etc., because that seems to be the norm from which other porn deviates now. If you want to find a video that doesn't leave you thinking "fcuking OW, jesus. Get off her", randomly start featuring choking or something, or if looking at another woman's cum covered arsehole while someone calls her a slut weirdly doesn't make you all that horny, you're best to either specifically seek out porn made for women, or just go straight to the lesbian stuff where there is at least a passing chance of something happening where you think "that would probably feel nice".

You don't have to talk to her about it if you don't want to. Are you happy with your sex life? This could be a good opportunity to open up that conversation, maybe start with watching some together or something.

Be grand man.

banie01 · 03-03-2018 10:46PM

joe6pack wrote: »

Thats a completly fair comment and i do of course.....its just the lesbian stuff has me a bit messed up ....sorry

Seriously, dont let it bother you.
Women are much more aroused by the aesthetic rather than the action in porn and be honest...
Would you not rather watch two pretty women pleasure each other? rather than a dick pistoning an orifice?

joe6pack · 03-03-2018 10:47PM

Shenshen wrote: »

Why on earth would she feel like a pile of crap? How do you usually start conversations with her, if that's what you're worrying about?

Well i know this is personal to her....And I presume she would rather I didnt know about this....I suppose

eviltwin · 03-03-2018 10:47PM

joe6pack wrote: »

Thats a completly fair comment and i do of course.....its just the lesbian stuff has me a bit messed up ....sorry

I bet if she was looking at 20 year old lads with 12 inch cocks and six packs you wouldn't be happy with that either.....

Think of it this way, does your porn habit mean you dont love or fancy your wife? Why would it be any different for her?

Cheerful Spring · 03-03-2018 10:47PM

banie01 wrote: »

Whoosh!!!!:pac:

I had a brain fart, I thought joe6pack wrote that this what happens when your sick and spend too much time reading stuff on after hours you can't see straight after awhile..

Avatar MIA · 03-03-2018 10:51PM

Cheerful Spring wrote: »

spend too much time reading stuff on after hours you can't see straight after awhile..

Bit like the OPs wife mid porn watch

joe6pack · 03-03-2018 10:52PM

Darwin Brave Business wrote: »

Ok seeing as this is apparently serious for you OP.

What is it that has your head melted? Is it that she watches porn? That's normal. As you say it's mostly when you're not there, and maybe she's developing a habit now. Presumably you masturbate, possibly with the aid of porn. It doesn't reflect on your feelings for your wife, does it? Samesies.

Is it that it's lesbian porn? That's normal too. Straight women watch an absolute tonne of lesbian porn. In fact, in the US and Canada, women watch twice as much of it as men do.

There are plenty reasons for this. Pure escapism. Women are possibly a bit more sexually fluid or at least less hung up on the gay thing than men, and conversely, if someone is very very straight, lesbian porn can be attractive because it's so "naughty" or outside the norm. Also there's the fact that straight porn is AWFUL for a lot of women, unless you're into bondage, degradation etc., because that seems to be the norm from which other porn deviates now. If you want to find a video that doesn't leave you thinking "fcuking OW, jesus. Get off her", randomly start featuring choking or something, or if looking at another woman's cum covered arsehole while someone calls her a slut weirdly doesn't make you all that horny, you're best to either specifically seek out porn made for women, or just go straight to the lesbian stuff where there is at least a passing chance of something happening where you think "that would probably feel nice".

You don't have to talk to her about it if you don't want to. Are you happy with your sex life? This could be a good opportunity to open up that conversation, maybe start with watching some together or something.

Be grand man.

Thank You.

Shenshen · 03-03-2018 10:52PM

joe6pack wrote: »

Well i know this is personal to her....And I presume she would rather I didnt know about this....I suppose

Ok, I don't know her, and I know nothing about your relationship.
But speaking from my own experience, I'm guessing fear of the conversation is the biggest obstacle here.
Personally, I absolutely love watching porn with my partner. I'm fluid enough (as in, I'm happy to watch both straight and gay), he's a little more uncomfortable when it comes to gay, but there's a lot we can explore together.
There's also a lot I enjoy exploring by myself, but I've no problem with my partner knowing. I'd say don't be scared. If you're really, really unsure how to open the conversation, you can always pretend you never found anything but wanted to let her know that you quite like watching lesbian porn and ask how she feels about that.

One eyed Jack · 03-03-2018 10:54PM

joe6pack wrote: »

Thats a completly fair comment and i do of course.....its just the lesbian stuff has me a bit messed up ....sorry

Sounds like you're just seeing a side to your wife you never knew she had, bit of a shock and all and I get that but honestly, I imagine one of the reasons she hasn't told you about it is because she wants to keep it private. I'm guessing you wouldn't be having open conversations about your own porn viewing habits?

There's nothing inherently wrong with people in a relationship having their own bit of privacy and knowing as many straight women as I do who enjoy watching lesbian porn for a multitude of different reasons, I wouldn't immediately be given to thinking there's anything else going on only a bit of harmless curiosity tbh.

joe6pack · 03-03-2018 10:59PM

Shenshen wrote: »

Ok, I don't know her, and I know nothing about your relationship.
But speaking from my own experience, I'm guessing fear of the conversation is the biggest obstacle here.
Personally, I absolutely love watching porn with my partner. I'm fluid enough (as in, I'm happy to watch both straight and gay), he's a little more uncomfortable when it comes to gay, but there's a lot we can explore together.
There's also a lot I enjoy exploring by myself, but I've no problem with my partner knowing. I'd say don't be scared. If you're really, really unsure how to open the conversation, you can always pretend you never found anything but wanted to let her know that you quite like watching lesbian porn and ask how she feels about that.

I'd love to be open about things like that together...its just not going to happen we both have public positions and neither of us ever let are guards down....all though i couldnt care less about this now she never will...Which is kinda killing me knowing theres two different people here....dont get me wrong shes amazing and i absolutly love here with all my heart.

Cheerful Spring · 03-03-2018 10:59PM

Martina1991 wrote: »

+1
Men could learn a thing or two from it.

Some men you have met the wrong ones!

Avatar MIA · 03-03-2018 11:02PM

Martina1991 wrote: »

+1
women watch porn just like men.

Straight porn usually involves the women being used as a hole (or two) to fill.

Or three! so I'm told *cough*

Vowel Movement · 03-03-2018 11:02PM

Hapax Legomenon wrote: »

retro:electro · 03-03-2018 11:04PM

No big deal. We’ve all been a fan of the scissor sisters at some stage

Avatar MIA · 03-03-2018 11:05PM

joe6pack wrote: »

I'd love to be open about things like that together...its just not going to happen we both have public positions and neither of us ever let are guards down....

Sorry, what?

How close are you to your wife. Your respective public positions should have zero to do with it. Is there that much of a trust issue with each other?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 03-03-2018 11:05PM

joe6pack wrote: »

I'd love to be open about things like that together...its just not going to happen we both have public positions and neither of us ever let are guards down....all though i couldnt care less about this now she never will...Which is kinda killing me knowing theres two different people here....dont get me wrong shes amazing and i absolutly love here with all my heart.

Aw, for an AH porn thread this is turning out very sad

I'd be inclined to agree with Jack that having a "so hey, I accidentally found your **** bank" isn't a conversation that really needs to be had.

But, maybe saying to her something like what you've said in that post might be an idea. I guess it's natural to drift apart or get to "unknow" each other in a long relationship, 20 years and 3 kids and 2 jobs is no mean feat. Do ye get much couple time? Kids are teenagers now, could you go on a trip together?

I've completely gone off the **** I was going to have at the start of the thread

Avatar MIA · 03-03-2018 11:08PM

anna080 wrote: »

No big deal. We’ve all been a fan of the scissor sisters at some stage

Nah, Not for me.

Shenshen · 03-03-2018 11:08PM

joe6pack wrote: »

I'd love to be open about things like that together...its just not going to happen we both have public positions and neither of us ever let are guards down....all though i couldnt care less about this now she never will...Which is kinda killing me knowing theres two different people here....dont get me wrong shes amazing and i absolutly love here with all my heart.

I'm not really sure what to say to you now. Actually, I'm not sure anyone on a forum like this can, sounds like there's way more background than you should ever reveal in a place like this.
So maybe it might be a good idea to talk about this with a (really) good friend? Someone who knows you and your partner better than us here?

Cheerful Spring · 03-03-2018 11:13PM

joe6pack wrote: »

I'd love to be open about things like that together...its just not going to happen we both have public positions and neither of us ever let are guards down....all though i couldnt care less about this now she never will...Which is kinda killing me knowing theres two different people here....dont get me wrong shes amazing and i absolutly love here with all my heart.

You could get yourself caught watching Lesbian porn and see how she reacts to that, it might break the Ice and start a conversation? She may go lunatic also, but only you know your wife temperament.

joe6pack · 03-03-2018 11:14PM

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Sorry, what?

How close are you to your wife. Your respective public positions should have zero to do with it. Is there that much of a trust issue with each other?

Okay I'm Sorry but we have very very long schedules and it's very hard to find time together...and I'am just trying to say that this discovery has presented questions to me...I dont know?
im sorry

eviltwin · 03-03-2018 11:16PM

joe6pack wrote: »

Okay I'm Sorry but we have very very long schedules and it's very hard to find time together...and I'am just trying to say that this discovery has presented questions to me...I dont know?
im sorry

Well that's kinda the point of porn, you watch it when you are alone. Sounds like this discovery has brought up a lot of insecurities, talk to her, don't let them fester.

fmpisces · 03-03-2018 11:17PM

joe6pack wrote: »

Okay I'm Sorry but we have very very long schedules and it's very hard to find time together...and I'am just trying to say that this discovery has presented questions to me...I dont know?
im sorry

Sorry to reiterate but those questions only your wife can answer....perhaps sit on it a while and try not to overthink it. You'll only drive yourself mad. The time will come when you find that you can just bring it up casually....probably the best approach in my opinion.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 03-03-2018 11:22PM

Martina1991 wrote: »

+1
women watch porn just like men.

Straight porn usually involves the women being used as a hole (or two) to fill. Lesbian porn is all about pleasuring the woman. Men could learn a thing or two from it.

Not always though. I've seen some high heels in some places

I'm out of the lesbian loop but deepthroating strap ons isn't something that seems to be about pleasuring a woman.

The male gaze gets to even the female gays I'm afraid.

Avatar MIA · 03-03-2018 11:23PM

joe6pack wrote: »

Okay I'm Sorry but we have very very long schedules and it's very hard to find time together...and I'am just trying to say that this discovery has presented questions to me...I dont know?
im sorry

No need for the apology. For what it's worth I think it's nothing serious, as in I doubt your wife is a lesbian (or primarily a lesbian - women are more fluid) and would it not be worse if she was watching some young wan being pounded by some fit guy.

You could use this as an opportunity to explore her desires. It could be some great fun.

And god bless all women, they're not called the fairer sex for no reason. No man has EVER taken his clothes off and looked sexy in the process.

joe6pack · 03-03-2018 11:26PM

How do I bring that up casually ever? Without completley embarrissing her?

eviltwin · 03-03-2018 11:27PM

joe6pack wrote: »

How do I bring that up casually ever? Without completley embarrissing her?

She's your wife, if you can't talk to her about this you have bigger problems than a bit of porn. Just talk to her.

Can i ask a question? I dont know how to think.

Comments