Affair / Sexual chemistry

fergus1001 · 22-12-2017 01:18AM

What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, except for chlamydia that **** will haunt you

What did your husband do to deserve this ?

eviltwin · 22-12-2017 01:19AM

AwareWolf wrote: »

I already mentioned the possibility of it. And said I wouldn't go there if it meant the end of marriage and he said it wouldn't. He's amazing really. Will love him til the day I die. Fact.

Did he know you were serious? Thread carefully, it's very easy to be okay about an abstract idea that might never happen. In reality, he might have a harder time dealing with it. Does he know the other guy?

fergus1001 · 22-12-2017 01:20AM

Say it to your husband and get him to ring you right before to tell you "Execute order 66"

Drumpot · 22-12-2017 01:20AM

Don’t go chasing waterfalls

Joeseph Balls · 22-12-2017 01:21AM

AwareWolf wrote: »

I already mentioned the possibility of it. And said I wouldn't go there if it meant the end of marriage and he said it wouldn't. He's amazing really. Will love him til the day I die. Fact. As I say that's not the issue......

He's a gob****e or is off riding elsewhere himself if that was his response.
More likely though, this is a poor attempt at trolling.

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:22AM

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Bring a female home some night..... he'd change his mind then, perhaps.

Whatever you do, just be honest about it, before you do it... there's always consequences for secrets and lies.

Totally agree.. Have always been honest with each other

uck51js9zml2yt · 22-12-2017 01:22AM

Op I suggest you ask a moderator to move your post to the relationship forum.
You're unlikely to get many sensible answers in after hours.

PandaPoo · 22-12-2017 01:22AM

eviltwin wrote: »

Did he know you were serious? Thread carefully, it's very easy to be okay about an abstract idea that might never happen. In reality, he might have a harder time dealing with it. Does he know the other guy?

That's true, and also he might just love his wife and kids and not want to lose them. He would rather his wife cheated and he stayed with her than lose them, which is really sad and the OP shouldn't consider going ahead with it....it could really hurt the husband in the long run.

FizzleSticks · 22-12-2017 01:23AM

This post has been deleted.

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:24AM

eviltwin wrote: »

Did he know you were serious? Thread carefully, it's very easy to be okay about an abstract idea that might never happen. In reality, he might have a harder time dealing with it. Does he know the other guy?

Yes he did. Saying he might have harder time dealing with it does worry me. Thanks for that point.

Arghus · 22-12-2017 01:25AM

You came to the right place brand new boards user, amazing how you found after hours so quickly, you'll get loads of sincere advice around here.

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:27AM

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

This has made me think. Thanks

BoardsMember · 22-12-2017 01:31AM

Cross the line once and you will never be the same. It could be amazing. But you will never be you again. And it is you that matters. Do it if you have to, but know that forever after you will wish you had not, and you will wish you could be the person you were. Nobody may ever know. But you will. And really thst is all that matters.

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:32AM

Arghus wrote: »

You came to the right place brand new boards user, amazing how you found after hours so quickly, you'll get loads of sincere advice around here.

You're being sarcastic I take it, this has been going round and round in my head. I just wanted opinions .... It's the reason I've joined boards. There's no one I can talk to about this..... Because my good old Catholic ireland family would KILL me.

Hang on Now · 22-12-2017 01:36AM

AwareWolf wrote: »

New to this so hope I'm posting in right place. Never had an affair. Very happily married. Clicked with someone recently. And the chemistry was unreal! Didn't have sex nearly did. Married 15 years. Have never experienced this sexual chemistry. Now can't get it out of my head and want him NOW! But afraid of how I'll feel afterwards, and can I really forget it if I get it out of my system?

Well you know what Oscar Wilde aid about temptation!

wakka12 · 22-12-2017 01:38AM

I think its silly to potentially have a happy 15 years of marriage end in tears and fighting and possibly hating each other for for a silly little fling. The chance of him finding out is not worth a night of sex with this guy. But anyway, this isn't the point you shouldn't do it as you wouldn't want your husband to treat you that way either surely.

Drumpot · 22-12-2017 01:38AM

AwareWolf wrote: »

This has made me think. Thanks

I’m dubious about this thread but playing along with this , what does your husband want? Who brought this up? (Topic or being with other people?). Is this “my husband just wants me to be happy?” Or is there any chance you are deluding yourself and totally taking him up wrong or putting him under pressure? (If he’s playing along just to keep you or maintain marriage it doesn’t mean it won’t hurt him!)

Doing something potentially hurtful to a partner with or without their knowledge isn’t exactly a sign of love or very respectful. If he truly doesn’t care that’s different I suppose but since you are the one looking to do the deed it’s hard not to imagine anybody is happy for their wife to want to ride another person. You have painted a very abnormal picture of the stereotypical marriage , It’s certainly not my idea of marriage and exclusivity with a partner. I think that’s one of the few things in marriage that’s something people only share with each other. That and kids!

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:39AM

BoardsMember wrote: »

Cross the line once and you will never be the same. It could be amazing. But you will never be you again. And it is you that matters. Do it if you have to, but know that forever after you will wish you had not, and you will wish you could be the person you were. Nobody may ever know. But you will. And really thst is all that matters.

That's always been my fear. But I kissed this guy it was great. I had no regret cause I told hubby. And now I want more? Maybe I'm a selfish bitch..... But I actually think it's to do with my up bringing and lack of sexual experience...... I really wish I had more relationships and experience of sex when in my 20's.

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:44AM

Drumpot wrote: »

I’m dubious about this thread but playing along with this , what does your husband want? Who brought this up? (Topic or being with other people?). Is this “my husband just wants me to be happy?” Or is there any chance you are deluding yourself and totally taking him up wrong or putting him under pressure? (If he’s playing along just to keep you or maintain marriage it doesn’t mean it won’t hurt him!)

Doing something potentially hurtful to a partner with or without their knowledge isn’t exactly a sign of love or very respectful. If he truly doesn’t care that’s different I suppose but since you are the one looking to do the deed it’s hard not to imagine anybody is happy for their wife to want to ride another person. You have painted a very abnormal picture of the stereotypical marriage , It’s certainly not my idea of marriage and exclusivity with a partner. I think that’s one of the few things in marriage that’s something people only share with each other. That and kids!

Why are you dubious about this thread? I know I'm not the norm. Never was. Probably why I'm using the Internet for opinions. No one I'm friendly with would even believe this if I told them. Is this not the upside to the Internet? Otherwise it's a counsellor I'll have to pay to listen to me.....and yes the exclusivity of sex only between us is prob one of the special things about marriage. So that's a nice reminder for me.

22-12-2017 01:47AM

AwareWolf wrote: »

That's always been my fear. But I kissed this guy it was great. I had no regret cause I told hubby. And now I want more? Maybe I'm a selfish bitch..... But I actually think it's to do with my up bringing and lack of sexual experience...... I really wish I had more relationships and experience of sex when in my 20's.

Nail on the head.....you sound selfish that just wants her cake and eat it too. From what you've described, your husband isn't OK with it, but he'll overlook it rather than lose you. Hardly something to do to someone you love.

wakka12 · 22-12-2017 01:49AM

Also this thread feels very fake...combined with the fact you're a new user. Not fake as in trolling its a kind of interesting topic but it just seems like a person paid or whatever by boards to stimulate discussions on here

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:50AM

368100 wrote: »

Nail on the head.....you sound selfish that just wants her cake and eat it too. From what you've described, your husband isn't OK with it, but he'll overlook it rather than lose you. Hardly something to do to someone you love.

Quite possibly ... And I suppose that's what I need to think about. As difficult as it is to read that.

vicwatson · 22-12-2017 01:51AM

368100 wrote: »

Nail on the head.....you sound selfish that just wants her cake and eat it too. From what you've described, your husband isn't OK with it, but he'll overlook it rather than lose you. Hardly something to do to someone you love.

I agree. Op should leave her husband and kids for a shag. She’s an Idiot.

backspin. · 22-12-2017 01:51AM

AwareWolf wrote: »

That's always been my fear. But I kissed this guy it was great. I had no regret cause I told hubby. And now I want more? Maybe I'm a selfish bitch..... But I actually think it's to do with my up bringing and lack of sexual experience...... I really wish I had more relationships and experience of sex when in my 20's.

If your husband is ok with you kissing other men then he is a dope. If he is ok with you having sex with other people then your marriage is little more than a friendship.

Btw if you do have sex with he guy and enjoy it then there is little chance it will be a once off.

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:51AM

wakka12 wrote: »

Also this thread feels very fake...combined with the fact you're a new user. Not fake as in trolling its a kind of interesting topic but it just seems like a person paid or whatever by boards to stimulate discussions on here

Trust me it's not.

Drumpot · 22-12-2017 01:52AM

AwareWolf wrote: »

Why are you dubious about this thread? I know I'm not the norm. Never was. Probably why I'm using the Internet for opinions. No one I'm friendly with would even believe this if I told them. Is this not the upside to the Internet? Otherwise it's a counsellor I'll have to pay to listen to me.....

Dubious because somebody is looking for advice on a potential marriage ending issue on an online forum!

So what does your husband want? If you can’t answer it Honestly then you might be selfish and too absorbed in what you want to see the truth.

I’d be saying counciling with your husband becauese the decision you make doesn’t just affect you and it’s no good you speaking for him if he doesn’t verify it. If your marriage means something and you are agonizing over this issue (which you are otherwise why post here) then isn’t it worth a couple of euros to get professional advice?

wakka12 · 22-12-2017 01:53AM

backspin. wrote: »

If your husband is ok with you kissing other men then he is a dope. If he is ok with you having sex with other people then your marriage is little more than a friendship.

Btw if you do have sex with he guy and enjoy it then there is little chance it will be a once off.

I know several couples who are very happy in open relationships

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:53AM

vicwatson wrote: »

I agree. Op should leave her husband and kids for a shag. She’s an Idiot.

I'm not leaving anyone. Read my posts or go away.

vicwatson · 22-12-2017 01:55AM

Leave your husband and children in peace and go riding wherever and whoever you like. Think of your children before you do anything though.

AwareWolf · 22-12-2017 01:55AM

Drumpot wrote: »

Dubious because somebody is looking for advice on a potential marriage ending issue on an online forum!

So what does your husband want? If you can’t answer it Honestly then you might be selfish and too absorbed in what you want to see the truth.

I’d be saying counciling with your husband becauese the decision you make doesn’t just affect you and it’s no good you speaking for him if he doesn’t verify it. If your marriage means something and you are agonizing over this issue (which you are otherwise why post here) then isn’t it worth a couple of euros to get professional advice?

Yes it so is. Thanks

Affair / Sexual chemistry

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