Couples, how do you manage the present shop?

wexpat girl · 21-12-2017 1:35am #1

ATM, we buy for each side ourselves but sign off from both of us. Works well for me as I detest shopping so at least I don't have to think about the in-laws bar the Kris kindle for adults. Yet, I do struggle each year bout not specifically buying for my mother in law to be. OH gives his folks cash/ buys a large household item they might need and it's "from us both". We've a couple of small kids now so I've started buying little things for Nana and gdad e.g photo gifts " from grandkids".
But each year I do wonder if I should get something else for my parents in law but then again , they are so hard to buy for. My own mother got frustrated with xmas gifts she never wants or needs and for past few yrs insists on my giving money to SVP instead but I do but still give her a token gift and since kids, she gets a gift "from" them.
I feel tho, if I start buying gifts for my parents in law at this stage, I have to do so every year and maybe I should be glad I don't need to??

TheBully · 21-12-2017 1:38am

I feel for you!

odyssey06 · 21-12-2017 9:20am

If you are visiting the in laws house over christmas and availing of their hospitality then bring something along - flowers, nice chocolates, tin of afternoon tea, bottle of wine, bottle of whiskey, fancy handwash set ... something consumable I find is best for those people who have already accumulated everything in their house.

wexpat girl · 21-12-2017 9:33am

odyssey06 wrote: »

If you are visiting the in laws house over christmas and availing of their hospitality then bring something along - flowers, nice chocolates, tin of afternoon tea, bottle of wine, bottle of whiskey, fancy handwash set ... something consumable I find is best for those people who have already accumulated everything in their house.

Should have added that we always bring goodies when visiting. I think I feel bad about not buying something specifically for mam and dad in law cos my OH goes practical is ie cash/ new household appliance. But since we agreed to sort each other's family member's presents, I guess it's his decision to chose what he thinks best for them. I'm sure the parents realise we buy on behalf of the 2 of us....

baby and crumble · 21-12-2017 12:17pm

We do joint presents for my wifes family, from both of us but she picks them out and pays from the household account. I buy something small for my mother-in-law only, just as a token. Some of the others noses get put out of joint because she gets an "extra" present though. :rolleyes:

We don't really do presents in my family that much. Dad doesn't really like Christmas and he always goes away for it, so I'll pick out something small for him from the two of us. This year because we'll see each other on Christmas Day we're doing a €50 Secret Santa between my brothers and all the wives, with partners stopped from getting each other. Means you get something decent, nobody's too out of pocket and everyone is happy.

There's no kids yet, although that'll change by next year so I'm sure then there'll be heaps of presents for the newborn, but sure that's grand.

bee06 · 21-12-2017 12:25pm

For my husbands family we do secret Santa which includes the parents. We don’t get them anything separate and they don’t get us anything extra.

In my family we do secret Santa with the siblings + partners and my siblings then all chip in for one gift for our parents. We all then still get a present from our parents as well as a Christmas stocking (my mom can’t help herself despite being told there is no need). I get her stuff for a stocking then as well and my dad finances that.

wexpat girl · 21-12-2017 1:03pm

Should had added, in my family we used to buy for all the grandkids, no adults, only our parents and anyone with no kids. Then it evolved into a decent gift for the godkids only and parents. But my partners family do a secret Santa for siblings and their partners and tbh I don't know what the other siblings do as regards his parents. Meh, prob over thinking it. My OH buys for the both if us, chooses what that is and since the kids, i organize their presents to grandparents so I do get to pick some nice little bits but mostly photo gifts of the kids. Guess that Will get tired soon and maybe then I'll start getting small present for each of his parents from the grandkids. ???

Ghekko · 21-12-2017 5:08pm

Definitely overthinking it. It would be madness for you to now start buying a separate gift to your partner. You are a family and the gift he gets is from the family. I understand getting something small from the kids in addition, but it would put more pressure on the inlaws if you start buying yet another gift. Leave it as it is.

bee06 · 21-12-2017 6:06pm

I would say leave it up to your partner to say what the best thing to do is. They’re his parents so he can decide what’s appropriate.

wexpat girl · 21-12-2017 6:07pm

Yeah you're prob right! Thanks for the replies.

Couples, how do you manage the present shop?

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