Married Life

Jim Bob Scratcher · 28-09-2017 12:07AM #1

Does the sex life dry up after a few years of marriage ?

McMurphy · 28-09-2017 12:09AM

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Does the sex life dry up after a few years of marriage ?

NO.

greenflash · 28-09-2017 12:10AM

No. It vanishes without a trace after the third baby.

whatdoicare · 28-09-2017 12:18AM

greenflash wrote: »

No. It vanishes without a trace after the third baby.

By then you're too knackered to give a ****e about it anyway.

Jim Bob Scratcher · 28-09-2017 12:19AM

Rick Shaw wrote: »

NO.

Surely there must be some decrease ?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 28-09-2017 12:34AM

Polyamoury, FTW

(And no - that is NOT having sex with parrots. Behave...)

archer22 · 28-09-2017 12:37AM

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Does the sex life dry up after a few years of marriage ?

After about 7 years boredom sets in and you start looking for some new puzzy on the side...and that's when real problems begin :pac:

SilverTom · 28-09-2017 12:39AM

When I got married an oul lad told me it's like drowning, there is a frantic struggle at the start to get back to the surface but when u realise ur fcuked u just let go and drift off peacefully into the abyss, the man was spot on.

Snotty · 28-09-2017 12:44AM

The blowjobs definitely decrease, but that's pretty much from day 1 of marriage

SilverTom · 28-09-2017 12:55AM

Can also be worked out scientificlay
Unmarried + spooning= sex
Married + spooning= crank

FizzleSticks · 28-09-2017 12:59AM

This post has been deleted.

soups05 · 28-09-2017 01:32AM

not at all, in fact it gets better...

as long as the wife does not catch you

Nabber · 28-09-2017 02:00AM

my missus suffers awful headaches when she lies down.
I reckon it's the wedding ring, must be messing with her. The headaches only started after she put the ring on.

dd972 · 28-09-2017 02:06AM

Any tips on meeting a complete stranger and forming a closer bond with them than with your closest family and friends then spending the next 20 plus years with them?, how these fooks do it is beyond me

PARlance · 28-09-2017 02:22AM

Snotty wrote: »

The blowjobs definitely decrease, but that's pretty much from day 1 of marriage

I was trying to remember what they were called.

Permabear · 28-09-2017 02:30AM

This post has been deleted.

PARlance · 28-09-2017 02:35AM

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

You'll always have the memories.

ChikiChiki · 28-09-2017 03:15AM

SilverTom wrote: »

When I got married an oul lad told me it's like drowning, there is a frantic struggle at the start to get back to the surface but when u realise ur fcuked u just let go and drift off peacefully into the abyss, the man was spot on.

I laughed out loud:D Very good.

FishOnABike · 28-09-2017 03:53AM

Nabber wrote: »

my missus suffers awful headaches when she lies down.
I reckon it's the wedding ring, must be messing with her. The headaches only started after she put the ring on.

Next time she has a headache let her know you have the perfect cure https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/can-sex-cure-a-headache , happy days (or nights).

Jim Bob Scratcher · 28-09-2017 04:06AM

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Still plenty of time to pull out :pac:

con___manx1 · 28-09-2017 04:52AM

I think Some people do it now for the sake of it especially in there early to mid thirties.
they just settle because society says u should be married and having kids then and they panic marry.

Wheeliebin30 · 28-09-2017 05:22AM

Watch American beauty.

Everything is answered in that.

erica74 · 28-09-2017 06:37AM

con___manx1 wrote: »

I think Some people do it now for the sake of it especially in there early to mid thirties.
they just settle because society says u should be married and having kids then and they panic marry.

Not everyone who is married has children, not anymore.

suicide_circus · 28-09-2017 06:42AM

Marriage is not the problem.

It's the kids.

28-09-2017 06:42AM

Obviously the trick is never to have relationships that last longer than a month.

Yeah, you end up getting a cat as a soulmate to avoid the prospect of dying alone, you have the empty feeling of never having anyone to really share your life, laughs and tears with...but suspect the physical side is marginally better...:)

Roger Hassenforder · 28-09-2017 07:32AM

If you haven't married her yet , think about going gay:

Pros:
higher disposable income
Don't have to drive a people carrier
Can take a dump without an audience
Sleep in at weekends
Everything you touch isn't sticky/snotty
No turds behind the couch
You can wear whatever the fcuk u like

Cons:
The sex might take a bit of getting used to

Alf Veedersane · 28-09-2017 07:41AM

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

If you haven't married her yet , think about going gay:

Pros:
higher disposable income
Don't have to drive a people carrier
Can take a dump without an audience
Sleep in at weekends
Everything you touch isn't sticky/snotty
No turds behind the couch
You can wear whatever the fcuk u like

Cons:
The sex might take a bit of getting used to

Kinda reminds me of this (watch to the end):

Malayalam · 28-09-2017 07:47AM

Don't get married, Jim Bob. All the forty and fifty somethings I know who are single are worn out and hollow-looking from the amount of rides they are getting.

(Not!)

:rolleyes:

Skuxx · 28-09-2017 07:48AM

I'm getting married Saturday, this thread doesn't make for pleasant reading!

gctest50 · 28-09-2017 07:49AM

PARlance wrote: »

You'll always have the memories.

yeah

nikkibikki · 28-09-2017 07:58AM

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote:

Does the sex life dry up after a few years of marriage ?

No

greenflash wrote:

No. It vanishes without a trace after the third baby.

And no again!

Married Life

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