Has anyone gotten revenge on an ex before?

Wibbs · 18-09-2017 09:33PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

No sorry only on boards a few days this was in the relationship issues thread first lol so many threads I didn't think to post it in here first lol

Yay a newb!

Welcome. Just slide into the muddy embrace of After Hours where you will get serious replies and pisstakes in equal measure. Return fire in the same vein and you'll be grand.

As for your question? The best revenge is a life well led. With exes this goes double. If you feel wronged anyway. I take it this is a recent emotional kick in the man/woman goolies? That you want to see them miserable without you/boiled in oil and then bitten by fire ants is natural. And can be fun for a time as I think we all need to wallow in feeling crappy. In the medium term get out more, rediscover being free and single. Mostly flirting and shagging and drink and then post drink "oh god I don't wanna text the ex". Dead right you don't. But you probably will.

fmpisces · 18-09-2017 09:34PM

Nah I couldn't be bothered to be honest. I don't get that kind of mentality...and I'm a firm believer in karma. I think it's an awful waste of energy spent when it could be put to better use - like holding your head up high, moving on and thanking your lucky stars you got out when you did.

Wibbs · 18-09-2017 09:40PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

Okay here goes
I'll start with my story...

Jaysus, that's a backstory alright. :eek: But the same advice applies. And in my experience(old guy here) the more convoluted the story, the more of a disaster it tends to be. We do get the whole Hollywood BS about love and relationships and part of that is drama = good. It really doesn't. Being in love should be bloody amazing. It has been when I was(though my IQ dropped 30 points and I can't afford that kinda loss). Being in a loving mutually beneficial relationship has much less drama and more support and contentment. Actually that's a good yardstick to judge: is the drama more than the support and contentment? If so that's a bad equation. Life is too short.

retro:electro · 18-09-2017 09:42PM

Ah op, that's sad.
It sounds like hard work too, if I'm honest. Relationships are meant to be a bit of craic like and that just sounds head wrecking.
You were good to forgive him the first time, you're a better person than he is.
Look after yourself!

ladybugxx · 18-09-2017 09:43PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Jaysus, that's a backstory alright. :eek: But the same advice applies. And in my experience(old guy here) the more convoluted the story, the more of a disaster it tends to be. We do get the whole Hollywood BS about love and relationships and part of that is drama = good. It really doesn't. Being in love should be bloody amazing. It has been when I was(though my IQ dropped 30 points and I can't afford that kinda loss). Being in a loving mutually beneficial relationship has much less drama and more support and contentment. Actually that's a good yardstick to judge: is the drama more than the support and contentment? If so that's a bad equation. Life is too short.

Lol your reply made me laugh out loud

you are right though

GritBiscuit · 18-09-2017 09:43PM

The best revenge really is living well.

It's an old cliché but the opposite to love isn't hate - it's indifference...once you get there and what your ex says or does makes no odds to you, you'll be at peace, happy and have your revenge. Anything else is just giving attention and ego stroking - and who wants to give a cheating ex that kind of a boost?!

Hammer89 · 18-09-2017 09:45PM

Bebo? Msn? Did you initially start writing that in 2007?

fmpisces · 18-09-2017 09:45PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

Okay here goes
I'll start with my story. I met mine when I was only 15 we went out for a while until he dumped me for someone else he randomly stopped answering my texts for about a week then I get a text off him saying he wanted to break up. I was annoyed and hurt that he acted this way. A few days later I see his new girl posting on his bebo profile and she was his other half. So I went around telling everyone he just uses girls. Turns out that girl cheated on him and nobody would go near him after as he just "uses girls" lol sucker.

2 years later we end up back together he tells me to this day girls still think he is just a user. I told him that's what he got for dumping me so badly like that. He agreed weirdly. We ended up seeing each other for a year and I was totally in love with him. He left me for someone else again leaving me devastated and turning quite mean and cold about it. The girl gave him the run around and left him for someone else. Apparently hurt him and put him through the ringer like he did to me twice. No sympathy. He got what he dished out to me twice now. Somehow in my heart I feel bad as I loved him with all my heart but my head knows he deserves it.

We ended up back together a year later I know at this stage I'm well aware of what could happen again I was just drawn to this guy I couldn't stop myself. I craved and loved him like no other. Things were going great for a few months happy and I thought he would change as this the 3rd time being back together. He broke up with me at Christmas ruined my entire christmas worst part I was pregnant. Fed me the I dont want to be in a relationship bs but wanted to stay close. Well not a peep do I hear from him I find out he got with surprise another poxy girl and was his "new girlfriend" after telling me he didn't want to be with anyone! I broke down got so depressed and sick and lost our baby at 13 weeks his response was "well I don't believe you I can't deal with this now **** off!" and carried seeing that girl I was floored. Never in my life did I feel more worthless than I did at that point I was numb.

I remember texting him telling him I was in pain and his response was just take a painkiller! So he told that girl he was seeing that I had a miscarriage and she couldn't handle that I texted him arguing about it most days and she dumped him. She wasn't gonna deal with all the baggage. So he treated me like **** didn't care I lost his kid and was left on his own. ****er deserves it. Not once did he ring me or see how I was doing. Didn't ask about it or anything. Whenever I'd text him it would turn into a huge argument over him being so cruel and he just wouldn't care.

6 months later I hear from him he is sorry. He tells me he is so stupid he didn't realise what he had that me and the baby should of been his first priority and that he was a idiot for hurting me. He says he didn't know how to react. I listened I tried to understand I was still hurt and annoyed over everything but slowly each day he would text seeing how I am seeing if I am okay trying to be as caring as possible I fell for it and forgave him. Things were good for a while. He was kinder and more caring than he ever was. We ended up being intimate for a while. On and off I told him any more girls and I am gone that he can't have both after all I been through already. We lasted on and off like this for 3 years I never once looked at a different guy I sacrificed my self to him and only ever wanted him.

He ends up getting a job making less time and not bothering to even text me. So I argue and argue at him. He says he will try and he doesn't. I cry again. He ends up secretly chatting to some girl on a dating site and was secretly planning all these dates with her yet didn't bother even texting me while he was working! I said **** that he is not getting away with this again. I got his car advert that he had up for sale taken down I commented on it that he was a dirty sex addict that has multiple girls in the backseat and he treated his ex like **** when she was preg. I also contacted his family to tell them what he put me through for years. His exes have told me he treated them bad and would meet up with girls off msn while he was supposed to be in a relationship. typical. TheAnd now he is on dialysis as he has kidney failure.

Well, there's no doubt that you have been on a rollercoaster ride of an on/off relationship with this guy. He sounds like an immature so-and-so. I hope for your own sake you're rid of him now.
I must admit I had to laugh at what you did, did you feel better for it?
If I were you I'd cease all contact with him now and in the future. You've gotten over him before and lived your life fine without him so.....you don't need him!
I'm really sorry that you lost your baby.
His health problems now....I'm a firm believer in things coming back to bite ya on the @ss in some form or other. It could also be a coincidence but either way, it's sh!tty for him.
Mind yourself

osarusan · 18-09-2017 09:45PM

The worst are the ones who go all the time, to anybody, about how completely over their ex they are. I mean, completely, like they never even think about them or anything. So happy to be out of that relationship, and able to get on with their life. Never wonder what they're doing, never check their social media profiles. Nothing. Oh yeah, completely over them, never felt better.

ladybugxx · 18-09-2017 09:46PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

Bebo? Msn? Did you initially start writing that in 2007?

Lol he was in my life since bebo msn days seems like such a long time ago

Wibbs · 18-09-2017 09:57PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

Lol he was in my life since bebo msn days seems like such a long time ago

And there's me thinking I was old... In fairness my first social media experience was on a pocket calculator where I spelled out Hello to classmates by entering 07734. I bet you just turned your pad/phone/laptop upside down to check. If you did that with a desktop, either you're into yoga, or you've the strength of a bull.

wonderfullife · 18-09-2017 10:26PM

OP apparently at 15 dates the guy for a short while, he calls it off to see another girl, and the new girl cheats on him. OP then goes around bad-mouthing him and spreading rumours because he dumped her.

At this point, the story shifts to 17 where the guy apparently laments girls think he's simply a user due to OP going around calling him names. :rolleyes: Story shifts to 18, the guy breaks up with OP again. Story moves to 19, after another reconciliation where OP gets pregnant, guy breaks up with OP again.

Story shifts to 20 and for the next 3 years there's an on-off argumentative relationship. Apparently we're at 23 now and the guy leaves OP for the fourth time and his kidneys are failing him, so the OP decides to involve his family and try get revenge by trying to slander him.

If all of the above is genuine (which I highly doubt), then a few pieces of advice:

Get a grip!! You were with him a few months at FIFTEEN by your own account, so bloody what if at 15 he dumps you to see another girl?? So what if he decides on a clean break and doesn't text you? Sweet Jesus. It doesn't give you the right to go around calling him names just because he doesn't want to be with you.

Toxic stuff. Way too young for all that. If the above story is genuine you sound like a complete drama queen who responds to being dumped by trying to get your own back instead of moving on.

Here's some advice: Grow up. Delete his number. Enjoy life.

PARlance · 18-09-2017 10:34PM

What exactly did you do to his kidney hun?

ladybugxx · 18-09-2017 10:36PM

wonderfullife wrote: »

OP apparently at 15 dates the guy for a short while, he calls it off to see another girl, and the new girl cheats on him. OP then goes around bad-mouthing him and spreading rumours because he dumped her.

At this point, the story shifts to 17 where the guy apparently laments girls think he's simply a user due to OP going around calling him names. :rolleyes: Story shifts to 18, the guy breaks up with OP again. Story moves to 19, after another reconciliation where OP gets pregnant, guy breaks up with OP again.

Story shifts to 20 and for the next 3 years there's an on-off argumentative relationship. Apparently we're at 23 now and the guy leaves OP for the fourth time and his kidneys are failing him, so the OP decides to involve his family and try get revenge by trying to slander him.

If all of the above is genuine (which I highly doubt), then a few pieces of advice:

Get a grip!! You were with him a few months at FIFTEEN by your own account, so bloody what if at 15 he dumps you to see another girl?? So what if he decides on a clean break and doesn't text you? Sweet Jesus. It doesn't give you the right to go around calling him names just because he doesn't want to be with you.

Toxic stuff. Way too young for all that. If the above story is genuine you sound like a complete drama queen who responds to being dumped by trying to get your own back instead of moving on.

Here's some advice: Grow up. Delete his number. Enjoy life.

He didn't care about his own child. He left me to cope with that alone for 6 months told me to **** off . Every time those girls hurt him He comes running back to me saying how amazing and kind I was compared to all them. He played games he said some hurtful things accused the child of not even being his when he knew quite well it was. Always loved him treated him with respect those girls did not yet to this day he still doesnt know why he treated me that way. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen him at all but karma seemed to get him those times he broke my heart. I think dealing with that im entitled to be a bit of a drama queen

Also lied about every one of those girls its not about being dumped its about being lied to and disrespected after being through so much with each other.

Jawgap · 18-09-2017 10:38PM

Best revenge?

A good life well lived......

Apparently my ex-wife fumes at the idea I've found a deep and abiding happiness with someone else.

wonderfullife · 18-09-2017 10:41PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

Wouldn't want anything bad to happen him at all but karma seemed to get him those times he broke my heart.

Listen, people aren't due "bad karma" for breaking up with someone. He didn't want to be with you so he ended it with you. The fact he repeatedly went back to you when it suited him is your own problem.

Move on and chill out with the revenge stuff. He's allowed to break up with you and ignore you.

Nabber · 18-09-2017 10:49PM

The best revenge is always to reply "who's this?" To text, then never respond again.

ladybugxx · 18-09-2017 10:49PM

wonderfullife wrote: »

Listen, people aren't due "bad karma" for breaking up with someone. He didn't want to be with you so he ended it with you. The fact he repeatedly went back to you when it suited him is your own problem.

Move on and chill out with the revenge stuff. He's allowed to break up with you and ignore you.

People are due bad karma when you hurt or treat someone badly. He was mostly selfish and about himself didn't care who he hurt. He done this to me for years so I had enough of being treated like a doormat and wasn't having it. Say or think what you want he caused nothing but upset and always regretted those other girls yet couldn't stop himself. I know he isn't worth wasting energy on now and have nothing to do with him.

18-09-2017 10:53PM

I presume the best revenge is to poison them slowly over months until their hair and teeth fall out (thallium might be best), everyone feels a bit repulsed by them, and they die alone.

But then again, as I started going out with my now wife 26 years ago, when we were 17 so my list of exes is pretty thin, oh and I like gothic horror, my advice might not be ideal...

pgj2015 · 18-09-2017 10:55PM

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

clairewithani · 18-09-2017 11:00PM

If someone treated you badly and you took them back it would be a mistake but if he treated you badly multiple times and you repeatedly took him back you would have to share some responsibility in your problem.

And while it is hard to feel good about someone who treats you badly, nobody ever treated me so badly that I would take pleasure in them having kidney failure. In fact if I did I would think it would make me a nasty person.

_Dara_ · 18-09-2017 11:02PM

Taking active revenge is undignified and shows that they still affect you. I have to admit though, I'm not above feeling satisfaction at running into an ex whilst looking good. But that's passive and is just a symptom of living well.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 18-09-2017 11:05PM

You need to take some responsibility too, you both sound as toxic as each other to be honest

ladybugxx · 18-09-2017 11:05PM

clairewithani wrote: »

If someone treated you badly and you took them back it would be a mistake but if he treated you badly multiple times and you repeatedly took him back you would have to share some responsibility in your problem.

And while it is hard to feel good about someone who treats you badly, nobody ever treated me so badly that I would take pleasure in them having kidney failure. In fact if I did I would think it would make me a nasty person.

Jesus I don't have pleasure in him having kidney failure I mentioned that because last I know he was on dialysis. When I found out I offered to be his doner as I didn't want anything to happen him. I loved the chap yet I was angry at him and I think he deserves misfortune in the love life but that's as far as it goes.

ladybugxx · 18-09-2017 11:08PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You need to take some responsibility too, you both sound as toxic as each other to be honest

Yeah im not proud of acting out but when someone you love hurts you I just saw red love makes you do stupid things

18-09-2017 11:10PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

He didn't care about his own child. He left me to cope with that alone for 6 months told me to **** off . Every time those girls hurt him He comes running back to me saying how amazing and kind I was compared to all them. He played games he said some hurtful things accused the child of not even being his when he knew quite well it was. Always loved him treated him with respect those girls did not yet to this day he still doesnt know why he treated me that way. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen him at all but karma seemed to get him those times he broke my heart. I think dealing with that im entitled to be a bit of a drama queen

Also lied about every one of those girls its not about being dumped its about being lied to and disrespected after being through so much with each other.

Well, he's responsible for his own actions, and maybe he hasn't behaved well or made the right decisions all the time, but you started out at fifteen. Fifteen.

You're also responsible for your own actions and you chose to take him back repeatedly and expected a different outcome. You weren't powerless, you made decisions too.

Some people have drama foisted on them, some people invite it in. Petty revenge or moving on with your life with your dignity intact, it's up to you who you want to be.

Goat the dote · 18-09-2017 11:15PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

And now he is on dialysis as he has kidney failure.

Do we have the same ex??!

Fr_Dougal · 18-09-2017 11:16PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

Jesus I don't have pleasure in him having kidney failure I mentioned that because last I know he was on dialysis. When I found out I offered to be his doner as I didn't want anything to happen him. I loved the chap yet I was angry at him and I think he deserves misfortune in the love life but that's as far as it goes.

Sounds like you still love him, hun.

You should give him another chance, if he'll have u bak.

🍀 For luck

wonderfullife · 18-09-2017 11:17PM

ladybugxx wrote: »

Yeah im not proud of acting out but when someone you love hurts you I just saw red love makes you do stupid things

By your own account you were 15 and only with him a couple of months when he first "dumped you" and you went around calling him a user. I'd hardly quantify a handful of weeks together at 15 as a real relationship anyway but moving on...

That's mental behaviour at any age to go around name-calling someone for dumping you after 2 months together.

There's no other way of saying this but you were in "psycho ex" territory from almost day 1 and seemingly nothing changed on either side. You need to wish him well and move on. If your story is accurate you're what 23 going on 24 now? You're still too young for this nonsense.

Chill out.

fergus1001 · 18-09-2017 11:18PM

This is why the hot/crazy axis was created

Has anyone gotten revenge on an ex before?

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