Things you were told as a kid which turned out to be bollox

CPTM · 30-07-2017 04:21PM

That if I don't close the windows the giraffe will get in.

When I was 14, I realised what my mam was actually saying.

anewme · 30-07-2017 04:22PM

Lisha wrote: »

Not to swallow chewing gum as it would knot your guts and you'd die... I tried it and survived it ðŸ˜„

We used to pick up chewing gum stuck to the road and if you blessed yourself it was ok to eat it!

Must have worked, I'm still alive.

alberto67 · 30-07-2017 04:30PM

"Guinness gives you strength"

feargale · 30-07-2017 04:31PM

In the 1950s it was commonly said that lipstick was made from rats' blood.

Solomon Pleasant · 30-07-2017 04:32PM

That I'd be able to buy my own house when I grew up.

The_Valeyard · 30-07-2017 04:32PM

Run around a tree twelve times and the devil appears

Buttercups could tell you who you would marry.

Arghus · 30-07-2017 04:41PM

The man. You could get in all sorts of trouble with him.

Remember the "the man"?

As in "stop that now the man is looking"

Lorelli! · 30-07-2017 04:42PM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Buttercups could tell you who you would marry.

That was Daisys for me. Buttercups told you whether someone liked butter if they made a yellow glow when placed under someones chin.

Also use to believe that if you were to blow a Jinny Joe away into the air that it would bring you back an Easter egg.

Del2005 · 30-07-2017 05:02PM

My Mother used to dress me in some awful 2nd or 3rd hand hand me downs. She used to say "Sure who'd be looking at you" when I said that the clothes where terrible.

Now when I'm out with her she's constantly saying "Look at the state of that"

diomed · 30-07-2017 06:00PM

If you study hard and get all your exams you'll get a good job.

corner of hells · 30-07-2017 06:00PM

That nuns turn into bats when they die.

One of my older cousins got the bollix kicked out of him by his ma after he told his younger brother this.The younger brother said it to the nun who taught him and she went on to tell his ma.

Wanderer2010 · 30-07-2017 06:02PM

That "schooldays are the happiest days of your lives". Couldn't be more wrong.

boardsuser1 · 30-07-2017 06:02PM

If I got kicked out of school I'd never get a job. Got kicked out 3 times,13,14,16.

Still got a job though.

Big Bag of Chips · 30-07-2017 06:06PM

You couldn't wear socks in bed.

30-07-2017 06:17PM

If you put an umbrella up inside the house, you'd never grow.

Dogs attract thunder and lightening.

Water makes you taller. Fizzy drinks stunt your growth (I'm going to tell my own kids that one).

Cabbage gives you a hairy chest. I don't know what my Dad was thinking of when he told us that one. It put me right off cabbage. And I'll always remember my sister pleading "Daddy I don't want a hairy chest".

If you go down the yard past the gate, a man with a sack will take you away.

Sky King · 30-07-2017 06:34PM

corner of hells wrote: »

That nuns turn into bats when they die.

Yeah because most of them are already bats.

Mulbert · 30-07-2017 06:44PM

Your eyeball will fall down through your nose if you keep picking it!

Worked all the same.

Wibbs · 30-07-2017 06:52PM

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

I was also told that if I ate my carrots I'd be able to see in the dark.

There's a kinda interesting aside to that one. Back in WW2 a well known ace night fighter pilot in the British Air Force was asked how he could see so well at night and he claimed it was because he ate a lot of carrots. Rather than make public the new top secret radar they had on the planes to find bombers in the dark.

The_Valeyard · 30-07-2017 06:54PM

Wibbs wrote: »

There's a kinda interesting aside to that one. Back in WW2 a well known ace night fighter pilot in the British Air Force was asked how he could see so well at night and he claimed it was because he ate a lot of carrots. Rather than make public the new top secret radar they had on the planes to find bombers in the dark.

That is class.

Lisha · 30-07-2017 09:55PM

corner of hells wrote: »

That nuns turn into bats when they die.

One of my older cousins got the bollix kicked out of him by his ma after he told his younger brother this.The younger brother said it to the nun who taught him and she went on to tell his ma.

Fantastic...

my dad used to tell us that nuns didn't walk that they rolled on roller skates.. used to fascinate us....

Hector Bellend · 30-07-2017 09:57PM

**** doesnt make you go blind

Corruptedmorals · 30-07-2017 10:04PM

feargale wrote: »

In the 1950s it was commonly said that lipstick was made from rats' blood.

Not quite, but a lot of red lipsticks though probably less nowadays use carmine for colour. Carmine is crushed beetles. It's used in red foods too, such as jelly.

30-07-2017 10:11PM

Corruptedmorals wrote: »

Not quite, but a lot of red lipsticks though probably less nowadays use carmine for colour. Carmine is crushed beetles. It's used in red foods too, such as jelly.

Just when I thought jelly couldn't get more disgusting.

Cows' hooves, and now crushed beetles. Yum, Yum!

LordSutch · 30-07-2017 10:20PM

Yeah, like eating all those carrots, so that I could see in the dark :cool:

snowflaker · 30-07-2017 10:23PM

All those re classes

milltown · 30-07-2017 10:28PM

If you unscrewed your belly button your bum would fall off.

osarusan · 30-07-2017 10:34PM

If your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer.

LionelNashe · 30-07-2017 10:37PM

Me over a bowl of rice-crispies: "Dad, were you ever in the army?"
Answer from behind a newspaper: "Yeah, the Salvation army."
Me in school later that day: "My dad was in the civilisation army."

lifeandtimes · 30-07-2017 10:40PM

If you farted and belched at same time you would prolapse

scudzilla · 30-07-2017 10:45PM

That i'd be rich when i was 18, all my pocket money was going into the special box that i'd get when i was 18, was even allowed to put the money in myself

Was the bastard electric meter

:(:(

Things you were told as a kid which turned out to be bollox

Comments