Kif, I've mated with a woman...Inform the men

25-07-2017 11:36PM #1

It's fairly unusual to experience one single day that will change your life forever, but it's something all first-time parents will be familiar with. After thirty years of meandering on this planet I found out today I'm going to be a Dad in January/February 2018.

None of this is as I imagined it would be. I'm not married, I'm not even dating the Mum, I share a house with my gay Malaysian best friend who eats party-pills like most people eat vegetables ... and yet I could not be more excited about our new baby (even writing 'our new baby' is giving me tingles). I have never been so terrified and excited in my life.

So right now I'm sitting in bed, unable to even contemplate sleep, and I guess I'm asking for experiences of expecting your first kid. Was it terrifying? were you dating, or married to, your kid's mum? How old were you? Will I die? Are those my feet?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 25-07-2017 11:38PM

Congrats

The_Valeyard · 25-07-2017 11:40PM

It's fear wrapped up in a box of sleep deprivation surrounded by poop and financial ruin.

But their are moments that make it all worth while and you wouldnt change a thing.

The Backwards Man · 25-07-2017 11:41PM

Does he pour half a jug of Bisto on them and hold his nose while he's popping them?

me_irl · 25-07-2017 11:44PM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Will I die?

Yes, eventually.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Are those my feet?

Yes.

retro:electro · 25-07-2017 11:44PM

Congratulations! Your post reminds me of my brother who was in a similar situation to you when he found out he was going to be a dad. He used to flip flop from being excited to thinking his life was over. It was the making of him.
Support the mam as best you can.
I wish you all the best!

Guy:Incognito · 25-07-2017 11:45PM

Blame it on the gay Malaysian lad and leg it

incaseiforget · 25-07-2017 11:45PM

Congratulations!

andekwarhola · 25-07-2017 11:45PM

You'll be overcome with fear but somehow wing it while always being assailed by the vague feeling that you're fcuking up but along the way experiencing some of the most frustrating but also utterly incredible moments of your life.

antodeco · 25-07-2017 11:46PM

First kid in 2003 second kid in 2015.

It's terrifyingly amazing change! From this day out, EVERYTHING you decide, your child will be a subconscious influence. It's actually nice having that purpose in life.

Ninthlife · 25-07-2017 11:46PM

Congratulations!

Gatling · 25-07-2017 11:47PM

Your not in Kansas anymore toto ,

Congratulations ,

But alot will really depend on the future situations ,

Autosport · 25-07-2017 11:50PM

Congratulations

25-07-2017 11:51PM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I'm not married, I'm not even dating the Mum, I share a house with my gay Malaysian best friend who eats party-pills like most people eat vegetables...

Emmmmm, more detail about the parenting arrangements, less detail about the housemate... Will you be involved in the child's future? Will you be at the birth or when s/he takes the first steps?

retro:electro · 25-07-2017 11:52PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Emmmmm, more detail about the parenting arrangements, less detail about the housemate... Will you be involved in the child's future? Will you be at the birth or when s/he takes the first steps?

I don't see how that is any of our business!

vegetables · 25-07-2017 11:55PM

I'd say get that 'sleep you can't contemplate taking' in while you can.

I'm not a parent but I've heard sleep is a strange almost laughable concept to new parents.

Widdershins · 25-07-2017 11:55PM

Will you be co-parenting with the Malaysian party animal? You could get a movie out of that.

Mam of 4 · 25-07-2017 11:55PM

Congratulations , Your life will never be the same again

Don't let anyone tell you it's all Sunshine and Roses , it's not . It's tiring , emotionally draining , frustrating at times .

But a smile , a touch , the wonderment of this little baby , makes you forget all of the above in an instant

Enjoy every moment.

25-07-2017 11:56PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Emmmmm, more detail about the parenting arrangements, less detail about the housemate... Will you be involved in the child's future? Will you be at the birth or when s/he takes the first steps?

I'm actually more intrigued by the Malaysian lad.

As an aside, you'll be grand with the kid, I became a dad in 2012 and it was the making of me

25-07-2017 11:56PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Emmmmm, more detail about the parenting arrangements, less detail about the housemate

The comment about my housemate was intended as a light-hearted example of how unprepared my situation is for a baby. Of course I want maximal responsibility, and the mum and I are on great terms and obviously that was the first thing we discussed.

Guffy · 25-07-2017 11:56PM

anna080 wrote: »

I don't see how that is any of our business!

?????

He's asking for advice on what to expect. How can he receive advice without knowing what his role will be. Will it be daily, weekly, monthly involvement. There's a big difference.

Pherekydes · 25-07-2017 11:59PM

Congrats!

If you're attending the birth here are some things to note:

Ignore blood, sh1t (yes, sh1t happens), blood, slime and yes, blood. Someone else will take care of it. That "thing" covered in whatever is your son/daughter. It's ok, they scrub up fine. Do not allow the mother to squeeze your hand during the delivery. Ignore it when she briefly turns into that kid from the Exorcist. She'll be fine after. Don't faint. Don't step in the blood. If you're paying maintenance or better still, being a full time parent, good luck. Your life is over as you know it.

But it's all worth it when you...

...time for another beer.

me_irl · 26-07-2017 12:01AM

Pherekydes wrote: »

Congrats!

If you're attending the birth here are some things to note:

Ignore blood, sh1t (yes, sh1t happens), blood, slime and yes, blood. Someone else will take care of it. That "thing" covered in whatever is your son/daughter. It's ok, they scrub up fine. Do not allow the mother to squeeze your hand during the delivery. Ignore it when she briefly turns into that kid from the Exorcist. She'll be fine after. Don't faint. Don't step in the blood. If you're paying maintenance or better still, being a full time parent, good luck. Your life is over as you know it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium

Enjoy fatherhood!

Guffy · 26-07-2017 12:01AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

The comment about my housemate was intended as a light-hearted example of how unprepared my situation is for a baby. Of course I want maximal responsibility, and the mum and I are on great terms and obviously that was the first thing we discussed.

That's great. Make sure you get the guardianship form sorted as soon as is plausable. Don't go dragging her to courts the next day but get it sorted while yer on good terms (not implying yell not always be but you dont know).

Its great craic though. Dont get me wrong, you'll be drained 24/7 but you'll have little moments every day that put a smile on your face.

Mena Mitty · 26-07-2017 12:02AM

Congratulations !

For the next while you'll be on a place called Cloud 9.

Guffy · 26-07-2017 12:03AM

Pherekydes wrote: »

...time for another beer.

Not any more

RobertKK · 26-07-2017 12:04AM

The best of luck and health to all.
Congrats.

RobbingBandit · 26-07-2017 12:04AM

If it's a boy, Call him Cimon he will grow up to be a successful politician.

Congrats.

December2012 · 26-07-2017 12:06AM

Be as kind and supportive as you can to the mother. Get interested in her pregnancy, go to the appointments, and get informed.

A good relationship with her will help you as you co parent and will benefit you each and your child.

Congratulations on the pregnancy.

Being a parent is a wild ride!

RiseToMe · 26-07-2017 12:07AM

And here I'm sitting, our first baby due today, watching my wife doze on and off as she has had some early labour pains. Can't sleep waiting to see if they pass and we have to wait another few days or if I need to get the TENS machine going and get the gym ball out. The lead up to it drags, but get to every appointment and every class you can, it's a very special time for you both, together or not.

me_irl · 26-07-2017 12:08AM

December2012 wrote: »

Be as kind and supportive as you can to the mother. Get interested in her pregnancy, go to the appointments, and get informed.

I recommend the documentary "The Snapper".

Kif, I've mated with a woman...Inform the men

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