Does Tinder etc give girls a fake sense of validation and give guys a bruised ego?

RedTie · 05-07-2017 03:12PM

Are Am Eye wrote: »

You don't seem to know very much.
It was a cringy phenomena among certain types in ireland and elsewhere in recent years to use and espouse supposed tactics like reverse psychology or 'negging' with women.

I'm aware of what it was. Im also aware that I didnt see it in practice in Ireland anywhere ever.

Irish Praetorian · 05-07-2017 03:13PM

You need to get on Grindr, MUCH better success rate.

Lux23 · 05-07-2017 03:18PM

RedTie wrote: »

I'm aware of what it was. Im also aware that I didnt see it in practice in Ireland anywhere ever.

Ah, now there was plenty of posts on Boards from lads interested in it. And negging is pretty much the go-to seduction technique for a certain type of Irish lad.

RedTie · 05-07-2017 03:22PM

Lux23 wrote: »

And negging is pretty the go-to seduction technique for a certain type of Irish lad.

I had to Google it but at least I know now

Negging is a rhetorical strategy whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise insulting remark to another person in order to undermine their confidence in a way that gains approval. The term was coined and prescribed by the pickup artist community.

So basically, it's lads being absolute bastards and girls loving it because they like the bad boys?

Sure that's been going on for decades.

Burial. · 05-07-2017 03:32PM

Negging is one of the most misunderstood things when it comes to "game" which is why when done right it's incredibly effective. The fact women know when they're being "negged" means the guy doing it is clueless. People seem to think it's something like "your shoes are ugly, wanna f*ck?" Negging is a form is teasing/flirting, something a regular 'loser' would never do or say because to him women are beautiful and wonderful and they need to be told that and he has to be a nice guy to get the girl.

Negging was a way of setting yourself aside from the other 9 lads who fawned over a girls looks...then some guys just took it too far on models and p*rn stars and regular guys started using cookie cutter lines and found that it didn't breed the same results. I can guarantee if you've ever been chatted up by a guy who clearly knew what he was doing and was good with women then you've been negged in some shape or form.

Are Am Eye · 05-07-2017 03:37PM

RedTie wrote: »

I had to Google it

No need to be scorpy on the thread just because you don't know
what negging is and cause you ego got bruised on tinder.

Rakish Paddy · 05-07-2017 03:37PM

Tinder is bloody fantastic. I spent a few months on it as a result of a bit of a single dry spell, and before I knew it I was contemplating buying wellies because I was knee-deep in clunge. Eventually I met someone in meat-space and deleted my Tinder account, but man did I have fun during those few months. And I think I'm a pretty average-looking guy. I just didn't take it too seriously and had some fun.

hatrickpatrick · 05-07-2017 03:49PM

The grass is always greener. Personally I find the incessant pinging on my phone after I've done a bit of swiping a little tiresome :pac:

RedTie · 05-07-2017 03:52PM

Rakish Paddy wrote: »

and before I knew it I was contemplating buying wellies because I was knee-deep in clunge.

Ladies and gentlemen, the best line on Boards this year.

And it's only July.

MightyMandarin · 05-07-2017 03:53PM

Rakish Paddy wrote: »

Tinder is bloody fantastic. I spent a few months on it as a result of a bit of a single dry spell, and before I knew it I was contemplating buying wellies because I was knee-deep in clunge. Eventually I met someone in meat-space and deleted my Tinder account, but man did I have fun during those few months. And I think I'm a pretty average-looking guy. I just didn't take it too seriously and had some fun.

How did you get on with the trials at West Ham?

Lux23 · 05-07-2017 03:54PM

Burial. wrote: »

I can guarantee if you've ever been chatted up by a guy who clearly knew what he was doing and was good with women then you've been negged in some shape or form.

Lads who are good with women don't need to use tricks.

Rakish Paddy · 05-07-2017 03:55PM

MightyMandarin wrote: »

How did you get on with the trials at West Ham?

I have a friend who can tell you all about it.

Rakish Paddy · 05-07-2017 04:01PM

Lux23 wrote: »

Lads who are good with women don't need to use tricks.

Amen to that!

Radiant Cool Crazy Nightmare · 05-07-2017 04:10PM

Rakish Paddy wrote: »

I have a friend who can tell you all about it.

A football friend?

LadyMacBeth_ · 05-07-2017 04:12PM

About this whole negging thing. If it's a bit of banter or teasing someone, insulting them in a joking way then that's grand, that's quite typical for Irish flirting in general, I enjoy it. I like compliments too of course but only if I think they are genuine.

Burial. · 05-07-2017 04:21PM

Lux23 wrote: »

Lads who are good with women don't need to use tricks.

Whether they're conscious of it or not, men and women use tricks in the dating game. Don't be so naive.

RedTie · 05-07-2017 04:37PM

Burial. wrote: »

Whether they're conscious of it or not, men and women use tricks in the dating game. Don't be so naive.

Well based on all you've scaid in this thread maybe you should setup some online course so we can all learn from the master.

www.pua.ie is free

Lux23 · 05-07-2017 04:38PM

Burial. wrote: »

Whether they're conscious of it or not, men and women use tricks in the dating game. Don't be so naive.

Or they are just using their personality/looks to good effect. I know plenty of people who are good-looking and they barely have to speak to someone to get them to sleep with them.

RedTie · 05-07-2017 04:52PM

Lux23 wrote: »

Or they are just using their personality/looks to good effect. I know plenty of people who are good-looking and they barely have to speak to someone to get them to sleep with them.

There's a story a friend of mine still mentions now and again, goes like this:

An average looking single woman goes upto an average single guy, grabs him by the balls and says "Wanna fúck?!". Cue the guy 9 times out of ten saying yes.

But then

An average looking single man goes upto an average looking single woman, grabs her by the privates and says "Wanna fúck?!". 10 times out of 10 that guy is getting, at the least, a slap or maybe even a jail cell for the night.

TLDR: Women hold almost all the cards in the initial part of boy meeting girl. Things definitely change as the relationship goes on, but at the start I think the (wonderful) female of the species has most of the influence on how it will begin.

Burial. · 05-07-2017 04:55PM

Lux23 wrote: »

Or they are just using their personality/looks to good effect. I know plenty of people who are good-looking and they barely have to speak to someone to get them to sleep with them.

Ones personality can be worked on and improved. Books likes How To Win Friends And Influence People is a rather innocent book (a phenomenal book at that) but it includes tricks and techniques that can transform your relationships and experiences, sexual and otherwise. Saying you learned something from a book like that goes down a lot better than learning from a book from whatever guy is selling his rendition of cutting edge how to pull women manual. It's all advice, tips, tricks and techniques. That goes for salesperson books, financial books etc. All tricks and tips to get the most out your experiences.

Good looks help a tonne obviously, but women wear makeup and alluring clothing to help them attract and seduce a man, and likewise men wear clothing that shows off their muscles and whiten their teeth. Now you may say this is just to show themselves off and give themselves the best chance possible, and likewise if a lad learns how to chat to women by reading a book he's doing the exact same thing.

Not everyone is blessed with model looks and the wit and charm of Tom Hardy. To turn your nose down on them because they learned "tricks" is a bit silly.

seachto7 · 05-07-2017 04:56PM

If you need to use tricks and put on some persona to "pull" someone, you'll be found out if you're going on multiple dates. They'll see you're a fake.

Burial. · 05-07-2017 04:59PM

RedTie wrote: »

Well based on all you've scaid in this thread maybe you should setup some online course so we can all learn from the master.

www.pua.ie is free

Wouldn't be knowledgeable enough to go into that field and I don't think it's a fulfilling form education provision. I've read some of that stuff, mainly to see what the fuss was about and a lot of it makes no sense, well in today's world anyway. In Cuckoo Hollywood land maybe a decade ago stuff in The Game might work. Very good book, great read and a great story but hardly educational. Stuff by the likes of Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy is stuff every person should be taught though...and a lot of those guys wrote this stuff decades ago but as time passes it's wisdom and knowledge becomes more powerful.

RoboRat · 05-07-2017 05:04PM

Burial. wrote: »

Negging is one of the most misunderstood things when it comes to "game" which is why when done right it's incredibly effective. The fact women know when they're being "negged" means the guy doing it is clueless. People seem to think it's something like "your shoes are ugly, wanna f*ck?" Negging is a form is teasing/flirting, something a regular 'loser' would never do or say because to him women are beautiful and wonderful and they need to be told that and he has to be a nice guy to get the girl.

Negging was a way of setting yourself aside from the other 9 lads who fawned over a girls looks...then some guys just took it too far on models and p*rn stars and regular guys started using cookie cutter lines and found that it didn't breed the same results. I can guarantee if you've ever been chatted up by a guy who clearly knew what he was doing and was good with women then you've been negged in some shape or form.

This!!!... although I hadn't a clue what negging was until I looked it up.

Teasing done right is a massive turn on to most women, especially when they are used to being put on a pedestal and hit with insincere compliments when they are out. It shows that you are confident enough in yourself to take the risk on something that might backfire. It has to be natural and not contrived and therefore not distinctly noticed, if even noticed, but also not too cocky and definitely not insulting. It has to be natural and therefore you need to have the confidence to pull it off in the first place.

I don't associate this trait with pick up artists either, its something that keeps relationships interesting and can be quite fun too.

05-07-2017 05:07PM

RedTie wrote: »

There's a story a friend of mine still mentions now and again, goes like this:

An average looking single woman goes upto an average single guy, grabs him by the balls and says "Wanna fúck?!". Cue the guy 9 times out of ten saying yes.

But then

An average looking single man goes upto an average looking single woman, grabs her by the privates and says "Wanna fúck?!". 10 times out of 10 that guy is getting, at the least, a slap or maybe even a jail cell for the night.

TLDR: Women hold almost all the cards in the initial part of boy meeting girl. Things definitely change as the relationship goes on, but at the start I think the (wonderful) female of the species has most of the influence on how it will begin.

Women are very selfish, being picky and thinking they're special and stuff.

All those average women with inflated self-esteem should just take one for the team and put out for the average guys. Whether they're attracted to them or not. It's only fair.

RedTie · 05-07-2017 05:09PM

Candie wrote: »

Women are very selfish, being picky and thinking they're special and stuff.

I'm merely saying that they hold most of the cards in the majority of the "boy meets girl for the first time" scenarios.

osarusan · 05-07-2017 05:10PM

If I listen very carefully, I think I can actually hear the sound of the world's smallest violin through my screen.

05-07-2017 05:11PM

RedTie wrote: »

I'm merely saying that they hold most of the cards in the majority of the "boy meets girl for the first time" scenarios.

And that they have an inflated sense of how good looking they are.

Females be crazy.

ArchXStanton · 05-07-2017 05:13PM

Burial. wrote: »

Whether they're conscious of it or not, men and women use tricks in the dating game. Don't be so naive.

Women play to a different set of rules...and they dont play fair

Rakish Paddy · 05-07-2017 05:19PM

And if Tinder is leaving a guy with a bruised ego, he's using it wrong - the only thing I had bruised was my mickey!

Burial. · 05-07-2017 05:20PM

ArchXStanton wrote: »

Women play to a different set of rules...and they dont play fair

Maybe so, the point is both men and women use tricks...whether instinctively and naturally or if it's something they've picked up its still a trick. Pointing fingers at the men and women who learned it is just silly.

As Omar Little said "all in the game yo"

Does Tinder etc give girls a fake sense of validation and give guys a bruised ego?

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