How easy/hard has your life been until now?

razorblunt · 30-06-2017 09:28AM

It's been good.

Parents worked hard, we always thought we were better off than we actually were.
Pushed us to work hard both academically and professionally.
Worked hard at college, got a good job, punching above my weight with the wife, own my own apartment, have a dog. House is next.

Life gets in the way, parent bereavement as a teenager, family illness etc. But absolutely nothing compared to some people.

In the most trivial way the biggest worry now is a stay in the UK vs move home decision. We love it here, we'd love to go home, it's a Catch 22 but certainly not the worst to have. Post Brexit years 1 and 2 will probably make our mind up.

Definitely appreciative of what I have and what I've been given, taking nothing for granted.

30-06-2017 09:34AM

py2006 wrote:

If you can walk, talk, see, hear and have a roof over your head, bed to lay yourself down in and food in your belly YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!

People in jail have all of those things. Bet they complain about a lot

dartboardio · 30-06-2017 09:44AM

I'm still very young.

Anyway, here goes my best shot from my perspective. Good upbringing, a little spoilt as a child being an only child that tends to happen, led to problems in teenage years.

Come from a home of just me and mother, so think that's where I got my feeling of being independent from. Young teenage years, harder than expected. A lot of going off the rails. Come from a good respectable family so wasn't expecting it. Alot of smoking weed and hanging around with the wrong crowd age 13-16. Harder drugs, going off to parties. Left school. Failed first leaving cert, horrible person at the time, clear substance problems. Didnt care about anyone, or anything. Resenting myself I think!

Later, Working full time between waitress jobs, liking the new fresh lease on life. Living at home with mother still, working, being young. Drinking at weekends, no more substance abuse. No more debts etc.

Anyway, grew out of all of that. Age 17, Was a bit mad up until I met my first boyfriend and fell completely in love. Then got more respect for myself and everybody. He changed me completely, not just my own words! Went back, did leaving cert, passed, went to college to study something I love. Still studying. Working 2 jobs. Bit of a workaholic.

Fast forward to last few months. I fell pregnant. Still with boyfriend happy in love. After many change of minds decided to terminate. Illegally.. Had to travel up and down and around in order to obtain tablets. It worked, now I'm back to being a young free woman starting her life properly who is happy that I am infact able to conceive, for later reference :-)

Sorry for going off topic. I've had it easy tbh in terms of the fact that everything that's happened to me was a result of myself. I've had no serious illnesses, no close deaths, no money problems. I shouldn't be complaining! I'm not!

dartboardio · 30-06-2017 09:54AM

brevity wrote: »

I've had it easier than probably 95% or the people on the planet but it hasn't come easy if you know what I mean.

Great childhood, got to travel a lot and I knew that this wasn't something my friends had.

Secondary school was a disaster, even though i had friends I hated it. Couldn't sleep on Sunday nights...did pathetic in the leaving certificate.

PLC course and college was much better, had loads of fun, managed to get a degree and a job...my 20's was probably the best time thinking back.

I'm now working as a .net developer, have my house and family. I think about that Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime a lot...

Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm not but I have had it better than most.

I love that song :-) your story reminds me of my own!

AndyBoBandy · 30-06-2017 09:56AM

F**k*ng Awesome,

I'm one of the most beautiful men in the world, and life is so easy!

(Sorry I look so rough in my selfie, I'd just blown my nose, and it was all yucky)

Dr Crayfish · 30-06-2017 11:34AM

Not in the least bit hard due to my amazing parents. If I ever have kids they've really set the bar quite high.

Bambi985 · 30-06-2017 11:44AM

Quite privileged really. It's only since hitting my 30s that I've realised how privileged. Never wanted for anything, a solid set of role models and everything I wanted to accomplish was within my reach. Only wish I had realised at the time.

Emotionally it's been up and down. A severe mental illness in the family has blighted a lot of things in my life from an early age. I essentially lost a sibling, my parents lost a child and probably dealt with it in our own dysfunctional way. A bit of depression and isolation on my part and I've spent a good chunk of my life running away from my problems. Had fun along the way nonetheless.

I think I've spent my life thus far in a glass-half-empty kind of way and that's had both positive and negative repercussions. It's driven me to travel the world and to strive in my career but it's also made myself my own worst enemy, caused a significant amount of depression and meant I'm never really satisfied with what I have. Always wanting more and feeling inadequate. Perhaps it's part of the human condition.

Great family and a small group of close friends, a partner that makes me laugh every day and a career full of opportunity. A big fat latte in front of me now as I work from home and organise my next project in Paris. Shouldn't complain really.

nelly17 · 30-06-2017 11:59AM

This thread makes me feel thankful and there's a now a voice in my head telling me I'm actually very lucky

farmerwifelet · 30-06-2017 12:17PM

struggling a bit now emotionally. Financially we are trying to make ourselves secure for the future.

My son has autism and it is a constant struggle to get him what he needs. HSE tells you he needs x,y and z but they can't give it to him.The gap is so wide he is falling through it and we have to try and plug it ourselves. At the moment we have to try and get him dental treatment and a psychologist. He needs both but we have to save up to afford it.

On the other hand he and his sister are amazing children and i love them to bits - it just tears me up that I can't provide for them the way I would like to.

hairyslug · 30-06-2017 12:24PM

Out of 10, probably a 7 or 8 (with 10 being the easiest)
School had its fair share of issues
College was great.
Walked into a job where I stayed in the same industry for 15/16 years, well paid and relatively stress free.
While I have made some ****ty decisions, luck has popped it's head up more than once to help.
The main issues would be health of my family and myself.

MightyMandarin · 30-06-2017 03:32PM

I had a good, stable upbringing, with 2 hard-working parents who always allowed me to pursue whatever goals I wanted. Financially, we're probably as middle of the road as you can come, but luckily, I've learned to be quite frugal from them and I think no matter what I'll do with my life, financially I'll be ok.

Life hasn't been easy though, and it's been entirely down to me. Since I was a kid I've always pushed myself to give everything I have in what I perceived to be important. Academics, sports, music or whatever I wanted to succeed in, became an obsession and when things didn't pan out how I wanted, I'd eat myself inside.

For the past few years I had no self-esteem and no confidence. I could barely talk to people and any sort of social interaction was painfully awkward. There were days where I didn't want to get up, because life just felt worthless. I felt worthless. While others my age seemed to be having the time of their lives, I felt like an abject failure and aside from training in the gym every evening (which helped enormously with my confidence after a while) I had nothing to look forward to.

I thought I was an introvert and that being alone was just what my life was like, but after working in a bar for over a year, where I was literally forced to be social every day, I learnt this to be the exact opposite. Since I started living abroad I've improved even more, and I no longer avoid social situations but rather, I thrive off of them. I'm not scared of people anymore and for the first time since I was maybe 12, I feel worthy.

I'm only 21, so I've a long way to go in life, but I'm more optimistic now and even though I feel ashamed about my struggles over the past few years, I'd rather just forget they ever happened and move on. I have days, and sometimes weeks, where I slip back and become a recluse and start feeling negative vibes, but I'm learning to control them and whatever I do with my life, I'm going to make sure I never go back to how I was before.

MilesMorales1 · 30-06-2017 04:52PM

King George VI wrote: »

Well, when I was a kid we were so poor we had corn flakes with water and we never had the money to do literally anything except stay alive. My parents were still wonderful parents, and still are but we struggled with money a lot. As a teen I never got girls or was seen as a viable boyfriend for anyone.

Now my life is class. I have money, a nice swiss girl, job, apartment and two cats. I'll make sure my cats never have to have water with their corn flakes

King George VI struggled financially? Now I've heard it all.

Kiith · 30-06-2017 05:02PM

It's fair to say that i've had a really easy life so far. Until i met my wife and we talked about some of the things she went through, i never really thought about it, but i'm extremely lucky. My parents kept us well fed and i was never aware of us having any money issues when i was younger. We weren't well off at all, but they both worked a lot of hours to get the 4 kids through. As a teen, the only thing i was worried about was figuring out how to talk to girls (which took a long time :P). I was never depressed, never abused, and never had any real worries.

As an adult, i am very relaxed, and let very little really get to me. I got through college without too many issues, and went into a field that was pretty solid, even during the crash (IT). Went straight into a job after my degree and have worked since then (bar a year abroad). My job now is tough, but enjoyable and pays pretty well. No major health issues for me, and while my family have had some issues, they've gotten through them all.

To be honest, the hardest things i've had to do in my life were over the last year, trying to take care of my grieving wife after her mother passed away in pretty unpleasant circumstances. I've never known anyone that was depressed (to my knowledge), and seeing it on someone you love can be incredibly difficult. Thankfully she's gotten through most of it now, and is getting better. It's not gone, and it might never be, but we can manage it now which i'm thankful for.

So yeah, overall it's been an easy enough life, and i'm beyond grateful to my parents for it.

La.de.da · 30-06-2017 09:59PM

I've had my fair share of turmoil unhappiness and hard times but I'm still above ground so it's been grand.

I've some regrets, one is as another poster said, that I didn't get out of the 9-5 rat race sooner. Money means fùck all if your too stressed to enjoy it. Once I began to simplify my life, I became more content.

DoozerT6 · 30-06-2017 10:48PM

I'm the classic 'peaked in high school' type person.

Had a grand, normal childhood, enjoyed secondary school but once I left school, a combination of some poor decisions and plain old bad luck has led me now to be in my early 40's, no relationships, no kids, a job (which I have no interest in) but no career, few friends due to feelings of inadequacy in how my life had turned out, etc etc.

I just exist, pretty much.

30-06-2017 11:10PM

DoozerT6 wrote: »

I'm the classic 'peaked in high school' type person.

Had a grand, normal childhood, enjoyed secondary school but once I left school, a combination of some poor decisions and plain old bad luck has led me now to be in my early 40's, no relationships, no kids, a job (which I have no interest in) but no career, few friends due to feelings of inadequacy in how my life had turned out, etc etc.

I just exist, pretty much.

It's never too late Doozer.

30-06-2017 11:20PM

My life has been a mixed bag really. My childhood was a bit chaotic. Lived in a few different countries for my Dad's work and travelled around quite a lot. My parents split up when I was about 7 or 8 so we moved from France to Ireland and then moved back to France again after a few months as they "tried" to make things work. But another few months after that we were back in Ireland for good.

My brother and I had to spend every school holiday (the whole summer, christmas, easter, midterms etc) in France which I hated for the most part as I missed my friends and my Dad's wife as horrible to me. Was delighted when I was 14 and finally had the excuse of a part time job to stay in Ireland for most of the holidays. We never really had much money at home as my Mother got no maintenance off my Father. She did work crazy hours to earn money give us a relatively normal life.

Teenage years were meh. Like a lot of teenagers

Had a great time in college. Met my OH there and we together since. I've a good job now that pays well so can't complain.

Pwindedd · 30-06-2017 11:21PM

I tend to follow my heart rather than my head, which has lead to some amazing unforgettable moments, but also a fair amount of heartache. Cliched as it sounds as I type this, I've food in my belly, a roof over my head, I've known true love and I've seen a small selection of the wonders the world has to offer. I've mothered a daughter to adulthood (which is some feat as i can't even keep a peace lily alive)

My parents worked hard and put me on the right path. I owe them everything. The loss of my father to cancer two years ago shook me to my core and since then I've been a bit lost. To see the pain and suffering both he and my mother went through after so many happy years together was hard to bear - such good people -if anyone didn't deserve that, it's them. Then my marriage fell apart - my own fault - and now i don't know what lies ahead, but i'm going to remain positive and i'm trying to embrace the "new chapter" mentality. I like my job and i'm relatively healthy (a few aches and pains and a fondness for Tanqueray notwithstanding)

I don't want to get really old, i'd like to go out with a bang i.e quickly and relatively painlessly (if i'm at the point of orgasm at the time that would be a bonus, preferably at the hands of a strapping young rugby player, well you can dream can't you)

TLDR; no my life hasn't been that hard, others have it much worse

Pwindedd · 30-06-2017 11:29PM

Deleted User wrote: »

It's never too late Doozer.

i second this, many 40 somethings have all those things you think you haven't "achieved" Doozer - and they feel trapped or tied down and long for freedom. You might get lucky and turn the corner tomorrow and an opportunity presents itself and because you have no ties you can just go for it, or you might have a "lightbulb" moment and find something that ignites the spark in you.

I wish you luck x

Senna · 30-06-2017 11:45PM

Life's good, always has been, good family and upbringing. Wife, kid (my princess), dog. Went back to college in 2014 and just finished 3 weeks ago. Moved from a well paying job to a crap paying one last year but I love my job now.
As Del would say, this time next year we'll be millionaires, I can feel it in my water

perfettopubies · 01-07-2017 12:52AM

Childhood with ups and downs, far from normal. Great friends, financially poor in a lot of respects, happy. Adventures all the way.

Was outwitting teachers before 10, considered a special case. Progressively did everything on my own, other students warned not to tell me about upcoming exams so as I wouldn't go on the hop. Went on the hop anyway, told in secondary school that I attended x amount of years 38% of the time. Grew to despise authority and being led by the blind. Family did their best, it was on me.

At odds with everyone, dropped out of one school after another until just dropped out altogether, did all major exams on my own, allowed to attend strange schools for exams only.

Went to best universities in the world on merit, caused trouble along the way. Earned my way into powerful positions across the world, caused trouble along the way.

Fell in and out of love with drop-dead gorgeous paupers and millionaires, heartbroken and wrecked along the way, too wary of people now, too wary of being naturally nice.

Have been ridiculously poor, searching for scraps of change to buy food, have been fairly wealthy too.

Adventures left and right. Have seen the worst of life, people chopped to death, disease, war, famine. Have experienced the nascency of lifes good parts, genuine lack of selfishness, caring and sacrifice. Have been places that most people don't know exist, have listened to the quiet words and deathly conversations that steer the planet in secret. Have become bitter by it.

Throughout all I have suffered mentally, close enough to breaking but not quite. Have had to deal with things that most people luckily will never experience. Have learned to dislike people in general, have learned to hate easily for good reasons, especially those who coast through life on the back of others. Don't care much for facts anymore, have become intellectually disinterested, much more interested in enforcing my own truth on everyone else if I was being honest.

In my third decade, I haven't decided what to do next, but having started to concentrate for the first time ever, its going to be a whopper one way or another, revenge is a dish best served cold

But things can change for the better. A life less ordinary and sometimes I feel like I have lived several lives in a short space of time, sometimes jealous of "normal". But boards will occupy me in-between, I'm sure.

The grass is always greener. Always.

Fathom · 01-07-2017 01:54AM

Wake up to a new day. Every day. Lov'in it!

dinorebel · 01-07-2017 03:51AM

Fathom wrote: »

Wake up to a new day. Every day. Lov'in it!

Juat happy to wake up everyday:)

Ben Gadot · 01-07-2017 07:28AM

Senna wrote: »

Life's good, always has been, good family and upbringing. Wife, kid (my princess), dog. Went back to college in 2014 and just finished 3 weeks ago. Moved from a well paying job to a crap paying one last year but I love my job now.
As Del would say, this time next year we'll be millionaires, I can feel it in my water

How does a crap paying job help your kid? Not having a go, I just think a lot of people would like to do what you did.....only responsibility gets in the way.

SEPT 23 1989 · 01-07-2017 07:49AM

Ben Gadot wrote: »

How does a crap paying job help your kid? Not having a go, I just think a lot of people would like to do what you did.....only responsibility gets in the way.

A happy parent by the sounds of it and that's what the child will remember

The money will come and go

Lady is a tramp · 01-07-2017 08:45AM

Ben Gadot wrote: »

How does a crap paying job help your kid? Not having a go, I just think a lot of people would like to do what you did.....only responsibility gets in the way.

All a child really needs is to be warm and fed and safe and - most importantly - loved. All of that can be done on very little money.

Yeah lots of money will help with extravagant school tours abroad and summers to the Gaelteacht and millions of after-school activities and all of the rest.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful but having had all of that - I'd have preferred to have had happy and present parents, and if that meant they'd worked in lower-paid jobs, I'd have very happily done without the rest of it.

Heckler · 01-07-2017 09:35AM

Middle class comfortable childhood. Never wanted for anything but not spoiled either.

Messed up the education and never went to college so ended up in a mediocre job but its was ok.

At 40 separated from my wife and a few months later lost that aforementioned mediocre job. That wasn't the best year of my life.....

Went to college trying to upskill and all that. Moved back home because the college was just around the corner saving me a 20 mile commute each morning.

While enjoyable the college course qualification was pretty worthless in a sea of university graduates.

So I find myself at 44, single, working yet again in a mediocre job and living at home with my mother because rent prices are so ridiculous.

My mother is amazing and I have no idea what might have happened if she hadn't let me move back in when I needed to but I guess this isn't where I saw myself being 10 years ago.

That said I have a roof over my head, food in the belly and a fantastic family around me so I'm doing good all things considered.

LadyMacBeth_ · 01-07-2017 09:43AM

Definitely agree with my other lady! My parents both worked full time because they wanted a certain lifestyle and I benefitted, private school etc. But as a teen when I was diagnosed with C.F., badly bullied, friendless in school and on the point of breaking, there was nobody there to help or notice. My parents preferred to go to their holiday home at the weekends and worked full time so I didn't see them much. To be fair to them, when a friend of mine from home finally told them how bad I was at the age of fourteen then they have been incredibly supportive ever since, but it took me trying to kill myself and someone else telling them for them to even notice. I would have preferred parents with less money who weren't so stressed and paying more attention.

DoozerT6 · 01-07-2017 10:35AM

Pwindedd wrote: »

i second this, many 40 somethings have all those things you think you haven't "achieved" Doozer - and they feel trapped or tied down and long for freedom. You might get lucky and turn the corner tomorrow and an opportunity presents itself and because you have no ties you can just go for it, or you might have a "lightbulb" moment and find something that ignites the spark in you.

I wish you luck x

I really don't think that's going to happen, but thank you

Heckler · 01-07-2017 11:45AM

DoozerT6 wrote: »

I really don't think that's going to happen, but thank you

You never know.

When I was married we both knew we didn't want any children. We also never had any desire to buy a house. Happy to rent.

A godsend now that we are separated.

It means I'm not so young, free and single.

I should really get off my arse and do something...

How easy/hard has your life been until now?

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