Fair City [News, Spoilers and Discussion v7] Read Post #1 Before Contributing

coolhull wrote: »

It must be so easy to write lines for RoboYank.....
"Whaddya mean?"
"What are ya saying?"
"Are youuuuu for real?"
"Why didn't ya call the caps?"
"Pop, when are ya gonna start acting like a real Dad?"

Well, I have a question for you, RoboDick...
'When are ya gonna start acting? "
..................
Last night's big "Deejay Event" in the Station Bar will live on for years in the memories of the thousands of young people who attended.
Organised in just one night by a precocious teenager and his middle aged mother, (who had a face on her like a well - slapped arse all day) it seems to have consisted of a dozen or so extras, waving around a few empty beer bottles and pretending to be out of their heads on drink.
There doesn't seem to have been any music, live or otherwise. (Well, maybe a Daniel O'Donnell album)
This crazy, funky, drug-fuelled, wild 'happening' took place in Carrigstown.
In a small backstreet pub.
Out in the smoking area.
In broad daylight.
And the highlight of the 'event' seems to have been the glorious unveiling of a badly - drawn poster of a local woman holding a wine glass, which for some reason sent the huge crowd into paroxysms of wild laughter and mirth.
Oh, how we all laughed!

But I think that the organisers of Electric Picnic, the Lark in the Park, and the annual concerts at Slane, can sleep easy in their brds
............................

Nicola : I'll have a glass of non - alcoholic punch."
Callum the bartender, being a devious chap, tops up her fruit punch with the tiniest measure of vodka.
This being Fair City, if course, it means that after drinking a half spoonful of spirits, Nicola is barely able to stand up.
Which is where Garda Commissioner John Deegan steps in....
Producing the alco-meter he tells Nicola that he wants "a good big long blow"..... (??)

Thus, Deegan is able to now increase his total number of criminal prosecutions to four, yes, four, in less than three years.

#1 The case against the driver of a small courier van with a faulty tail-light.

#2 The successful prosecution of a teenage girl for the heinous offence of kicking over an empty wheel barrow.

#3 The reckless and willful damage done to an innocent flowerpot stand.

#4 Criminal defacement of a supermarket, by maliciously pissing up against the wall of said supermarket.

We owe a debt of gratitude to Garda John Deegan, who risks life and limb every day to protect the citizens of this land.
As RoboYank would say, he truly is a 'Super Cap'....