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'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

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Comments

  • #722
    Ficheall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 9,067 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Roger Hassenforder wrote: »
    In fairness there's usually a bit more than that!

    In fairness, I'm not sure there is :P


  • #723
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    Ficheall wrote: »
    In fairness, I'm not sure there is :P

    Ok , if we leave out Arts degrees...
    :)

    *ducks for cover...


  • #724
    Glenster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,626 ✭✭✭Glenster


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    The Marvel obsession thing wasn't the primary factor in me breaking my acquaintanceship (was never really a friend with the guy) with him.

    So you "broke up with a friend" because he liked marvel films, but you were never really friends with him anyway.

    POINTLESS STORY


  • #725
    hairyslug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,561 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    Does indecisiveness count as shallow, i broke up with someone after a night ended at the top of Grafton Street and she couldn't decide to get a taxi or food.


  • #726
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    I think a lot more people would be extremely hesitant to date someone without a degree than people are comfortable admitting.

    The thing with shallow beliefs is, so long as you don't tell your girlfriend/boyfriend or friends why you wouldn't date someone or have broken up with them in regards to some things said here, It's fine.

    As someone said earlier "bo11ox"!

    Some of my friends that are couples would be on opposite ends of the QQI spectrum and happy as proverbial pigs.

    You can be extremely well "qualified" and an expert on your field without a degree. E.g. Plumbers, electricians, farmers, masons, carpenters. A degree is no reflection of intellect or ability.


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  • #727
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    hairyslug wrote: »
    Does indecisiveness count as shallow, i broke up with someone after a night ended at the top of Grafton Street and she couldn't decide to get a taxi or food.

    The human race would have gone extinct millennia ago if men dumped women for indecisiveness!


  • #728
    fizzypish
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    Roger Hassenforder wrote: »
    The human race would have gone extinct millennia ago if men dumped women for indecisiveness!

    Hmmm, food or taxi.
    I don't mind. Whatever you want.
    But I'm tired.
    Then get the taxi.
    But then I'll be hungry.
    Then get the food.
    But I'm tired and food will make me fat.
    Then go home and make a sandwich.
    Too tired to make a sandwich and I'm hungry now.
    Just **** off...... Is what I say in my head but wont aloud because I can't sex myself in a satisfactory way.


  • #729
    hairyslug
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,561 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    fizzypish wrote: »
    Hmmm, food or taxi.
    I don't mind. Whatever you want.
    But I'm tired.
    Then get the taxi.
    But then I'll be hungry.
    Then get the food.
    But I'm tired and food will make me fat.
    Then go home and make a sandwich.
    Too tired to make a sandwich and I'm hungry now.
    Just **** off...... Is what I say in my head but wont aloud because I can't sex myself in a satisfactory way.

    Granted it was about 11 years ago but that is nearly word for word what was said.


  • #730
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    Hmm..not sure what you mean here. The first half of your statement is true but I disagree about it not being an issue.

    If we're talking about a girl dressing a certain way or holding certain parenting beliefs (someone who believed in tough love), couldn't one argue that these can be changed?

    I mean being an adult means (hopefully) that you are no longer highly influenced by your parents excessive beliefs and can decided whether to keep or discard them.

    Would be a big issue for me IMO.

    You've a lot more issues than can be solved on boards tbh.

    Or are you 12?


  • #731
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    hairyslug wrote: »
    Granted it was about 11 years ago but that is nearly word for word what was said.

    It's amazing what fellas will put up with to get their hole in the early stages of a "relationship". We find we're after being conditioned too late!
    :)


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  • #732
    jeanjolie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 484 ✭✭jeanjolie


    pilly wrote: »
    You've a lot more issues than can be solved on boards tbh.

    Or are you 12?

    What do you mean my friend?


  • #733
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    What do you mean my friend?

    Your little stories about how you dumped a friend because they told on you in class and how you wouldn't go out with someone without a degree suggest a certain immaturity is what I mean.


  • #734
    Widdershins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    Hmm..not sure what you mean here. The first half of your statement is true but I disagree about it not being an issue.

    If we're talking about a girl dressing a certain way or holding certain parenting beliefs (someone who believed in tough love), couldn't one argue that these can be changed?

    I mean being an adult means (hopefully) that you are no longer highly influenced by your parents excessive beliefs and can decided whether to keep or discard them.

    Would be a big issue for me IMO.

    I'd suggest not entering into a relationship and planning to try to change her dress sense..sometimes it's a form of self expression which you might read differently to how she sees it, but generally people wear what visually appeals to them, and interfering with that is controlling.

    I don't know what you mean by tough love. If you are completely opposed to any form of discipline and/or boundaries and she is a firm believer is either, you'd have to work that out before you had children, and meet in the middle.


  • #735
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    whoopsadoodles wrote: »
    Other than that, I think lack of ambition or motivation would be a massive turnoff but I don't think that would be shallow.

    True, but equally someone who was UBER ambitious to the point where nothing else mattered other than climbing a career ladder etc and motivated to an Alec-Baldwin-in-Friends level would be just as much a turn-off to me.

    Actually speaking of which, I dated a guy once who used to get up at 4.30am to go to the gym every morning and stay in the office til 8pm at night because he was so eager to get ahead. Cancelling dates and plans to do some mundane work chore that literally anyone else in the office could have done but his boss asked HIM. Zero work-life balance and everything came second to his job. I found it exhausting and the unreliable behaviour around it made me less attracted to him so I called it quits. He was also a really preachy vegan though so that might have had something to do with it :pac:


  • #736
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    True, but equally someone who was UBER ambitious to the point where nothing else mattered other than climbing a career ladder etc and motivated to an Alec-Baldwin-in-Friends level would be just as much a turn-off to me.

    Actually speaking of which, I dated a guy once who used to get up at 4.30am to go to the gym every morning and stay in the office til 8pm at night because he was so eager to get ahead. Cancelling dates and plans to do some mundane work chore that literally anyone else in the office could have done but his boss asked HIM. Zero work-life balance and everything came second to his job. I found it exhausting and the unreliable behaviour around it made me less attracted to him so I called it quits. He was also a really preachy vegan though so that might have had something to do with it :pac:

    admit it, there's the reason you got shot of him!


  • #737
    Gunslinger92
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,901 ✭✭✭Gunslinger92


    fizzypish wrote: »
    Hmmm, food or taxi.
    I don't mind. Whatever you want.
    But I'm tired.
    Then get the taxi.
    But then I'll be hungry.
    Then get the food.
    But I'm tired and food will make me fat.
    Then go home and make a sandwich.
    Too tired to make a sandwich and I'm hungry now.
    Just **** off...... Is what I say in my head but wont aloud because I can't sex myself in a satisfactory way.

    I thought I was indecisive, having read that I realise I most certainly am not, thanks :D


  • #738
    Wardling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 114 ✭✭Wardling


    Bad breath maybe isn't such a trivial one but it's a definite no no. I could smell it across the table. Seriously she must have licked every bin and cats arsehole on the way to the coffee shop.

    Personal hygiene and manners are the basis for getting a good understanding of someone and these can be picked up on quite early.

    Also stopped seeing a girl after she clicked her fingers in the air looking for a waiter....I really really hate this. Snobbery of the highest order.


  • #739
    IamtheWalrus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,075 ✭✭✭IamtheWalrus


    Wardling wrote: »
    Bad breath maybe isn't such a trivial one but it's a definite no no. I could smell it across the table. Seriously she must have licked every bin and cats arsehole on the way to the coffee shop.

    :D


  • #740
    JupiterKid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,960 ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Poor personal hygiene.

    Too many tattoos and piercings. Long hair in a man. I know Im a bit of a hypocrite as I had long hair in my student days, but I don't find long hair in a guy attractive.


  • #741
    jeanjolie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 484 ✭✭jeanjolie


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Poor personal hygiene.

    Too many tattoos and piercings. Long hair in a man. I know Im a bit of a hypocrite as I had long hair in my student days, but I don't find long hair in a guy attractive.

    Can fully understand tattoos and piercings but why the long hair?

    Now again most men who keep long hair have it in a quite unkempt manner but if a man groomed it properly would you be okay with it or not?


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  • #742
    JupiterKid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,960 ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    Can fully understand tattoos and piercings but why the long hair?

    Now again most men who keep long hair have it in a quite unkempt manner but if a man groomed it properly would you be okay with it or not?

    If it was dead perfect straight and not below the shoulders I suppose I'd be ok with that. But unkempt/curly/frizzy a definite no no.


  • #743
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    If it was dead perfect straight and not below the shoulders I suppose I'd be ok with that. But unkempt/curly/frizzy a definite no no.


    1q27he.jpg


  • #744
    Malari
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Poor personal hygiene.

    Too many tattoos and piercings. Long hair in a man. I know Im a bit of a hypocrite as I had long hair in my student days, but I don't find long hair in a guy attractive.

    Yes, long hair on a man = instant turn-off.


  • #745
    jeanjolie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 484 ✭✭jeanjolie


    Malari wrote: »
    Yes, long hair on a man = instant turn-off.

    Is it grooming or a gender specific problem?


  • #746
    Malari
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    Is it grooming or a gender specific problem?

    It's only gender-specific because I don't fancy women! :pac:

    But no, I don't care if it's washed, conditioned, trimmed, brushed or tied back neatly. I just hate the look of it.


  • #747
    jeanjolie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 484 ✭✭jeanjolie


    Malari wrote: »
    It's only gender-specific because I don't fancy women! :pac:

    But no, I don't care if it's washed, conditioned, trimmed, brushed or tied back neatly. I just hate the look of it.

    Interestingly, do you think men would react the same way to women with shorter hair?

    Honestly, it's sucks that women have more 'leeway' in terms of gender expression. Sure there plenty of men who thing a woman with shorter/short hair is 'butch' but I rarely flat out see people saying 'If I wanted to date someone with short hair, I'd date a man'.

    Apparently though, that's okay to say for men.

    Lesbian women probably most definitely have it easier than gay men in the West.


  • #748
    Malari
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    Interestingly, do you think men would react the same way to women with shorter hair?

    Honestly, it's sucks that women have more 'leeway' in terms of gender expression. Sure there plenty of men who thing a woman with shorter/short hair is 'butch' but I rarely flat out see people saying 'If I wanted to date someone with short hair, I'd date a man'.

    Apparently though, that's okay to say for men.

    Lesbian women probably most definitely have it easier than gay men in the West.

    What?! It's my personal preference! And I have no doubt that many men think that about women with short hair. I also don't like most short hairstyles on women, by the way.


  • #749
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 24,755 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    jeanjolie wrote:
    Lesbian women probably most definitely have it easier than gay men in the West.

    Come on now.

    The concept is nonsensical but using the term "probably most definitely" makes it laughable.


  • #750
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    jeanjolie wrote: »
    Interestingly, do you think men would react the same way to women with shorter hair?

    Honestly, it's sucks that women have more 'leeway' in terms of gender expression. Sure there plenty of men who thing a woman with shorter/short hair is 'butch' but I rarely flat out see people saying 'If I wanted to date someone with short hair, I'd date a man'.

    Apparently though, that's okay to say for men.

    The thread is about shallow dealbreakers in relationships. Malari gave her one - she doesn't like long hair on men. Nothing wrong with that, people are allowed to be shallow about stuff like that on threads like this… oh wait, no they're not because GENDER WARS!!!! #notallmen #ifroleswerereversedtherewouldbemurder #anotherhashtageofoutrage.
    jeanjolie wrote: »
    Lesbian women probably most definitely have it easier than gay men in the West.

    What's that got to do with the price of turnips?


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  • #751
    jeanjolie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 484 ✭✭jeanjolie


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    The thread is about shallow dealbreakers in relationships. Malari gave her one - she doesn't like long hair on men. Nothing wrong with that, people are allowed to be shallow about stuff like that on threads like this

    Oh I'm not critising her, I don't mind at all. I'm just pointing out the line between a preference and sexism.

    Do you think If someone here said they wouldn't date a black woman that people would care?


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