Did You succeed on your own

greencap · 27-05-2017 02:28PM

Its probably not a black/white question, but rather a question of percentage.

Nobody did it 100% by themselves.
But there are those who strove hard.

Mr_Muffin · 27-05-2017 02:37PM

Everyone these days want's to be the 'successful person who grew up in the slums and now has it all through hard work'.

tomwaterford · 27-05-2017 02:42PM

No....mainly because my folks not have the money...i wouldnt begrude anyone whos parents helped them.

Mine wouldve had if they were in a position to...but thats life

I took over the farm and through partnership with the father and hard work have transformed it beyond recogision....itll never be full time...but proud af of it

WHIP IT! · 27-05-2017 02:43PM

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

Everyone these days want's to be the 'successful person who grew up in the slums and now has it all through hard work'.

My favourite so far is the poster who began their post with "Got zero help in life" (it's even funnier if you picture Danny Dyer saying it) - and then proceeded to tell us about all the help they got.. in life...

mad muffin · 27-05-2017 02:52PM

My sum total of achievements… I'm still alive at 43.

anewme · 27-05-2017 02:56PM

Frank Mc Court or someone else said, "we were poor but we were happy" Well, we were poor but we were feckin miserable.

Grew up poor. No food till pay day type. Communion clothes from the second hand shop. No Christmas toys. Taken to court for rent arrears. Electricity cut off for non payment. Mum cleaned toilets to put us through secondary school. No college (not everyone went to college in those days) leave school, get a job.

Years and years of hard graft have paid off, I'm financially comfortable . Not wealthy, but a decent job, House almost paid, new car, several holidays a year, rainy day fund and a pension. I did not relax until I had the rainy day fund that would cover 7 years mortgage in the event of a catastrophe. I know now they won't get the house. Probably because I know there's no one to bail me out in an emergency, it's made me strive a bit harder. I have been able to help out family abd friends (temporary loans) he were up against it (struggling during Celtic tiger) and that makes it worthwhile.

I would say I have a phobia of being poor.

ThinkProgress · 27-05-2017 02:57PM

Who gives a crap if you did it all by your lonesome... or if you got a leg (or 3) up along the way... ??

Why does it actually matter? The main thing is that you reach adulthood, and you have the means and the skills to take care of yourself.

The greatest lesson my parents ever taught me in regards to work/business, was that you should not work hard to make someone else rich. This is what the majority of the population are doing everyday in the rat race... so if you are clever, you will not copy those people!

Most people are a slave to someone else in this life, but you don't have to be one of them!

Robsweezie · 27-05-2017 03:52PM

i had my first job when i was 6 months old, a mortaged house by 3, and retired by 10. all with no help. it can be done. if it is to be then its up to me. no excuses.

Beasty · 27-05-2017 04:00PM

I had 3 jobs when at school. School cleaner on weekday evenings Petrol pump attendant on Saturday mornings and farm work over the school holidays

I had a grant at University but my parents topped it up

Never inherited anything. Did pay for my mum's triple heart bypass to be done privately. She passed away 5 years ago and since then I've bought my dad a house (they had rented all their lives)

My own kids may well struggle but hopefully will be getting a bit if a start in life as I'll help them out with accommodation and probably leave a decent chunk once the tax man's had his share.

greencap · 27-05-2017 04:02PM

Ok not really the thread question, but I wanted to start a thread on this - but couldn't get it together. Had doubts.

I feel it relates.

Anyway, why is it that I can find perfectly good, small apartments in plenty of places in continental europe for around the 100,000 mark.
But here its just 3 beds and 4 beds from around 250,000.

Or a similar small apartment for 180,000.

Maybe its just me and I'm wrong, and unaware, passing by the wrong estate agents windows', hanging around D4 too much.

But, (and heres why I think it relates to this thread) I think a lot more people would be 'making it on their own' if they could actually hope to buy a shoebox.

How many people said 'fck it its impossible' and went on the scratcher because the owning accommodation options are either (1)huge price for more than you need or (2)nothing.

eviltwin · 27-05-2017 04:03PM

I come from a poor family so there was no support there even if they had wanted to which they didn't. I had a baby at 19, was depending on welfare and my boyfriend to support me through college. I managed to get a good job after I graduated and saved enough to buy a house at 25. Doing okay now finally at 40, I have a good lifestyle, money to pay the bills and pay for a few treats, house almost paid off, child in college and I feel I can finally relax. It was a tough time in my early twenties though. So to answer the OP no, I would have been screwed without help from the state and my husband to help.

Heisenberg1 · 27-05-2017 04:06PM

Never had any help from anyone financial or otherwise but I have everything you said in point number 8.

The Backwards Man · 27-05-2017 04:14PM

We had only one shoelace between ten of us growing up.

We didn't even have a shoe.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 27-05-2017 04:26PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

We had only one shoelace between ten of us growing up.

We didn't even have a shoe.

But look at all the things we could do and achieve with a single shoe lace in those days. Kids today are spoiled and jealous of our ingenuity.

Pinch Flat · 27-05-2017 04:27PM

Achasanai wrote: »

Getting a grant, the dole, and help from relations wouldn't be what I call 'zero help', tbh.

I'm pretty sure everybody's had help at some point in their lives, given how the state operates, as well as family and friends - the latter definitely help, but not necessarily financially.

Threads about financial help from family though, so the fact that I got a college grant I don't feel one bit guilty about - by the time I hit college, Our family was in a pretty dire Financial situation - single parent household - along the lines of going hungry, utilities cut off. Of course it would have been easier for me just to skip the hassle of getting a degree and either signing on or taking an entry level job.

And graduating at a time agin when the country was struggling I feel no guilt on signing on for a couple of months. There was no other alternative for me - living in a single parent household, there would have been literally no money to feed or clothe me. No financial safety net whatsoever.

And staying with a relative was my only real option when I moved to London in the mid 90s. I had no other safety net - no one to advance me a deposit, living expenses, travel costs.

Other people on this thread had secure families that were willing and able to help them out financially, which is great to see and I know plenty of them - it makes life so much easier for them - so that's more the spirit of the thread.

myshirt · 27-05-2017 04:29PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

We had only one shoelace between ten of us growing up.

We didn't even have a shoe.

I remember hearing a story of a lad in Donegal having to apologise to the headmaster for being late for school because he was eating an egg.

There were 10 in the family apparently, and they only had one spoon.

Was this you?

Pinch Flat · 27-05-2017 04:34PM

WHIP IT! wrote: »

My favourite so far is the poster who began their post with "Got zero help in life" (it's even funnier if you picture Danny Dyer saying it) - and then proceeded to tell us about all the help they got.. in life...

What's even funnier is that people have singled out posters who posted their own story without either contributing themselves or appreciating in anyway where the poster was coming from.

SimpleDimples · 27-05-2017 04:39PM

My parents didn't have much money when we were young. We weren't dirt poor but there were no luxuries but they always provided for us and went without for themselves to ensure we were feed, clothed etc but we were well looked after and brought up to appreciate what little we had.

In contrast, a lot of my friends had money, and those who i envied as a naive child, because they had foreign holidays, the newest clothes, etc had a lot of other problems, emotional neglect, abuse, alcoholism, voilence, witnessing parents have affairs, etc. Some of whom are still have the scars today.

I got more than i needed from my parents but little of it was monetary.

Teyla Emmagan · 27-05-2017 04:55PM

I've received loads of help and support throughout life. And I'm grateful for all of it and very lucky my parents were on a position to give it to me. And I don't in anyway consider myself less of a person because other people had it tougher than I did. Just more fortunate.

LimeFruitGum · 27-05-2017 05:22PM

1: I moved to Dublin for uni. My parents gave me £50 a week and covered my rent (as cheap & decrepit as you could find in Dublin 3 :-) ). I remember my mother being furious that we were just over the qualification threshold for the grant. Of course, I had a few part-time jobs during that time & I managed my costs very well. But if I were doing the Leaving Cert now, I don't think we could have afforded sending me to Dublin. My parents said they were happy to cover my degree costs, but after that I was on my own financially.

2: ha, yes. My father's employer always took a few employee offspring to cover summer holidays. I was there for two summers. On the plus side, I already knew how to type, didn't mind using computers (email wasn't rolled out yet, it was the mid 90s) and lived 5 minutes up the road. I mostly answered phones, took sales orders, filed away invoices & dockets, and made tea for the manager. It was grand.

3: yes. Like most people, I would be fine as long as I still have a job.
I have never been financially dependent on a partner.

4: If something happened to him, I could sell a few of his things but it would not yield mad lotto money, let's put it that way. I own the apartment, so maybe I should watch me back&#55357;&#56833; He earned more than me when we first got together, but now I have caught up.

5: no. One uncle left me €2000. My parents are very ordinary rural working class and I have two siblings. I don't expect there will be much leftover for me when they go.

6: They offered to help with my first year's car insurance, but I never asked them to help. I certainly would not dream of asking them to help me with a deposit or any living expenses. I see that as my responsibility. I was self employed for a few years too; that was all me. I consider only 5 people to have gone out of their way to help me in my career, none of them were friends or family.
My sister had no qualms about asking for handouts, but my brother and I would have a go at her to tell to f'ing cop herself on. The mother wouldn't stand for it either, so the sister had a spell of cadging € off her mates for a few years until they all got sick of it.

7: No. The most I can expect is a 33% share of the family home down the country. My apartment in Dublin will always have a higher value than it.

8: no debt aside from a relatively small mortgage which I will clear in 10+/- years. I tightened my belt big time a few years ago and it was hard, but it was worth it. I bought my place for a bargain price three years ago. I could rent out the spare room if things got really dire.

Achasanai · 27-05-2017 05:32PM

Pinch Flat wrote: »

Threads about financial help from family though, so the fact that I got a college grant I don't feel one bit guilty about - by the time I hit college, Our family was in a pretty dire Financial situation - single parent household - along the lines of going hungry, utilities cut off. Of course it would have been easier for me just to skip the hassle of getting a degree and either signing on or taking an entry level job.

And graduating at a time agin when the country was struggling I feel no guilt on signing on for a couple of months. There was no other alternative for me - living in a single parent household, there would have been literally no money to feed or clothe me. No financial safety net whatsoever.

And staying with a relative was my only real option when I moved to London in the mid 90s. I had no other safety net - no one to advance me a deposit, living expenses, travel costs.

Other people on this thread had secure families that were willing and able to help them out financially, which is great to see and I know plenty of them - it makes life so much easier for them - so that's more the spirit of the thread.

Leaving aside that threads develop, if we focus on family, you did receive help. It doesn't have to be inheritance or a monthly income. A bed is a bed, and it's pretty much a primary need. It doesn't take away from your story or who you are. It's a good thing, as far as I'm concerned.

hot buttered scones · 27-05-2017 05:43PM

AllForIt wrote: »

I was thinking about transferable wealth and how much that transferable wealth has assisted people to succeed in life, meaning that assets/wealth from the family you come from has been critical to the job/success in life you have.

Okay my question might seem vague so I'll ask a few questions which should clarify where I'm coming from.

1. When you went to university/college did you have any support? Did you either live at home which meant you didn't have to pay rent or did your parents pay for your accommodation while you studied?

Parents paid my fees for 1st year, then the rules changed and I was eligible for a fees grant. I lived away from home so I got some cash towards my rent, but had to work all the way through college. So yes, I got some assistance financially, but not 100%, and not all the time. I'll do the same (and probably more) for my kids and I hope they will be able to do the same for their's if they have them. Your children are probably the single most important thing you can invest in. Their happiness is your return on that investment.

AllForIt wrote: »

2. In the case of non-academic work, did you get that job easily, did someone for example recommend you for the job based on some recommendation based on the fact that your related to someone who works in the same area, or something similar.

No - I applied for the job myself, I wasn't recommended for it and knew no one working there. I went through the full interview process and was successful. Although I wouldn't have the job if it weren't for my college education, so this relates back to question 1.

Edit: My dad got me a summer job once, and my mam got me a job in the restaurant she worked in when I was 15. Does that count?

AllForIt wrote: »

3. If you are married, could you survive by yourself, if you weren't married.

Yes, absolutely.

AllForIt wrote: »

4. If your married did you attain some wealth/security because you married. I.E, you married someone that had some assets, be it a inheritance or something similar.

No, we were pretty much both in the same position - recently graduated and broke!

AllForIt wrote: »

5. Have you inherited anything from your family particularly before they died... for example a farm ..or a small business...that stands to you that supports your individual sense of security that has hugely assisted you in your success in life.

No.

AllForIt wrote: »

6. Is anyone in the position that they haven't gained any assistance at all from the family one comes from, but you survived all by yourself, and how did that work out for you.

N/A - look we all need some help from time to time, it's all about give an take. I'd have a lot of respect for anyone that did it all completely on their own, because it can be tough enough as it is without friends and family.

AllForIt wrote: »

7. Have your family members benefited more than you from the assets/wealth your family has. I.E, you lost out because the wealth/assets weren't distributed evenly.

No, we're not wealthy. I don't want to inherit anything when the time comes because I don't need it.

AllForIt wrote: »

8. Do you have a nice car, a nice house, a mortgage, a house with a nice garden, and did you do it all by yourself, without any assistance whatsoever from either your family or friends or anyone at all.

Yes, but again if wasn't for the job that I wouldn't have them, and if it wasn't for college I wouldn't have the job, so we are back to question 1 again. Although we did stay with them for a few weeks while we were trying to get a deposit together so there is that I suppose.

I think there is a big difference for transfer of wealth down the generations and parents supporting their children, even in college. There was no tangible assets transferred, but the assistance and encouragement I received to get a good education enabled me to be self supporting from then on. I hope that I'll be able to support my parents if they need it in years to come.

Edit: I've never been "on my own". I've always had the safety net of knowing that if the sh1te hit the fan, I had somewhere to go and someone who would help me.

Biggest lickspittle on boardz · 27-05-2017 06:57PM

My story is quite the reverse of success, in that I was born into a family business that was being run very poorly by my parents. Good, honest, decent people, but utterly clueless about financial management or investing. I dropped out of college to help them out during the Celtic Tiger when I could have got a degree and very likely made a lot of money.

They only sold the business a few years ago for a pittance, and had to offload their life savings just to break even. I worked the last 2 years for free just to keep the doors open.

One thing I will say about the experience, is that the experience created an insatiable hunger for success in me now. Before, I was something of a journeyman, but now I'm utterly focused on getting to where I want to be. I wasted the best part of 15 years trying to help my folks, now I feel like I have to make up for lost time. Even my friends who have come back from abroad have commented that I'm like a different person, extremely driven.

So that's the way it played out for me so far. The rest is all on me now.

anewme · 27-05-2017 07:08PM

Good luck with it.

RoisinClare6 · 27-05-2017 07:17PM

Was in college 7 years ago, got a 5k loan at the time and paid it off myself. Didn't work out moved back home, was unemployed for a couple of years decided to go on jobbridge for 9 months, got 2 years full time work out of it but lived a home at the time. Paid my parents rent etc. Moved out 2 years ago worked one part time job for 10 months then worked 3 part time jobs for 3 months. Ended back to one part time job since September, still renting with the other half. No car, debts or kids or mortgage. If I got full time work it would be great but we are not in a bad situation at the minute either.

Pac1Man · 27-05-2017 07:27PM

The poor love to boast and broadcast from the rooftops about just how poor they were and how they made it on there own.

The rich sit in quiet dignity behind their double glazed windows, wondering why there are a load of poor people on the roof.

Parchment · 27-05-2017 07:43PM

I come from a financially comfortable family due to my Dads hard work and talent at his business.

i went to university and my parents paid for my accommodation. I worked each summer and saved some and had fun with the rest.

I went back to study again as a mature student and my parents helped me out a bit - i didnt ask, they wanted to. It stressed me out a lot actually.

My boyfriend and I bought a house - we got the mortgage on our own, my parents then gave me a sum of money for house stuff/work we had to do. It was from money they had set aside to give me and my brother.

I got my first job myself and then worked my way into my current job myself.

My boyfriend does not earn a lot, his family do not have money. We have a nice house (i think its nice) and we pay for it ourselves.

I come from an amazing family - they have always been the most amazing parents, so generous in all aspects. I suppose coming from a "safe" place made my life easier in many ways but i never took advantage of it and always paid back any money i borrow from them (as opposed to money they wished to give me). I would have been lost in life without them.

Mr.Plough · 27-05-2017 07:43PM

I get by with a little help from my friends

Sky King · 27-05-2017 07:57PM

myshirt wrote: »

The short and small of it is we can't just pull assets from people, but what we can do is lower Capital Acquisition Tax thresholds and raise Capital Acquisition Tax rates so that no wealth is passed on to perpetuate the issue and what happened the youth in this county by the baby boomers and early gen'x'ers.

I don't agree. If someone earns money legitimatly, tax paid, I don't feel entitled to take that from them, even if they do plan on willing it to their mildly retarded offspring as you alluded to.

I just don't think it's right. If someone has legitimate assets they own them and should be allowed do with them as they please.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 27-05-2017 08:10PM

No to all the questions. Didn't inherit anything, got my own job. My wife is the same but came from a working class background where money was scarce. My dad had s good job but there was no special treatment or money thrown at us.

I could survive in my own quite easily and did for half my working life. I wouldn't have the house I have now if I were on my own, it would be smaller and wouldn't have cost as much

Did You succeed on your own

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