'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 23-05-2017 03:00PM

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

That whole show is absolutely ridiculous. It's just totally inconceivable that a woman as hot as her would go anywhere near the male protagonist. It's no surprise he's an Executive Producer on the show! He makes Woody Allen look handsome ffs.

Well her horrendously low self esteem is kind of her whole deal in the show like. There's definitely a huge looks imbalance but apart from that the characters as written make a lot of sense as a couple, they're both total shítheads.

Ime it's worth getting over the looks issue, it's got a lot going for it. It definitely doesn't need to be so much of an issue that it makes the whole show ridiculous. Besides if you stick to that criteria something in the region of 60-70% of mainstream TV and cinema would be ridiculous.

annascott · 23-05-2017 08:49PM

Cutie 3.14 wrote: »

Re the tight shoelaces, I completely agree with the original poster on that one. There's just something really cringey about it! And the big looped laces hanging down, no!

What? Are shoelaces a thing now?
If I go running there is no way I could risk not doing up my shoes. They would fall off and I would fall over...

Dr Crayfish · 23-05-2017 09:14PM

Ada Deep Tapir wrote: »

. Besides if you stick to that criteria something in the region of 60-70% of mainstream TV and cinema would be ridiculous.

Well, as a man, to me Game of Thrones is probably more realistic than her getting with that guy! It just doesn't happen, no matter how cray cray the girl is!

One eyed Jack · 23-05-2017 09:50PM

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

Well, as a man, to me Game of Thrones is probably more realistic than her getting with that guy! It just doesn't happen, no matter how cray cray the girl is!

I'd to look up the show you're talking about, just see what the big deal was...

They're both indistinctively average looking! I was expecting a contrast along the lines of Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts, or Charlize Theron and the guy she's squeezing. I've seen god knows how many couples where they are polar opposites in terms of looks, but obviously that's from my subjective perspective. Clearly theirs is obviously unique to them as mine is to me, and they undoubtedly find each other attractive.

I myself wouldn't see it, but I wouldn't blame them for not giving a shìt what I think. If I'm attracted to someone the only person I would hope gives a shìt is the person I'm attracted to, and I'd be hoping that feeling was mutual... :pac:

TL:DR: Specsavers!

Cutie 3.14 · 24-05-2017 01:22AM

annascott wrote: »

What? Are shoelaces a thing now?
If I go running there is no way I could risk not doing up my shoes. They would fall off and I would fall over...

It's the tieing them ridiculously tight to within an inch of their life that I find cringey.
That doesn't automatically suggest that I think people shouldn't tie their shoelaces atall.

IamtheWalrus · 24-05-2017 02:20AM

pilly wrote: »

I once ended a relationship with a man because he wore slippers in the house. Don't ask me why, little bit irrational but I just couldn't see him as sexy after that.

OMG I wear slippers

DivingDuck · 24-05-2017 05:52AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

They're both indistinctively average looking!

If that's what you think is an "average" looking girl, I think there's many a man who'd love to live in your world.

Wibbs · 24-05-2017 07:11AM

Ada Deep Tapir wrote: »

they're both total sh?theads.

True dat. His character really irritates me mind you. A cut price Woody Allen with neither the wit nor heart. A "kooky" whinger nerd type. If I had to be stuck with him for an extended period of time I'd probably have to punch him in the face. And yeah in real life, no way is he pulling a woman like that. Unless he was also rich. Pretty women have more options even if they're nutcases, because too many men are cock blind..

Widdershins · 24-05-2017 10:29AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I'd to look up the show you're talking about, just see what the big deal was...

They're both indistinctively average looking! I was expecting a contrast along the lines of Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts, or Charlize Theron and the guy she's squeezing. I've seen god knows how many couples where they are polar opposites in terms of looks, but obviously that's from my subjective perspective. Clearly theirs is obviously unique to them as mine is to me, and they undoubtedly find each other attractive.

I myself wouldn't see it, but I wouldn't blame them for not giving a shìt what I think. If I'm attracted to someone the only person I would hope gives a shìt is the person I'm attracted to, and I'd be hoping that feeling was mutual... :pac:

TL:DR: Specsavers!

I agree. I don't watch it but I googled and thought, what is the fuss about?

And the idea that a goodlooking woman wouldn't date a less goddlooking man..unless she's 'crazy' or has something else wrong with her..is a bit pathetic. It is supposed to be a shallow thread, I suppose.

MuffinTop86 · 24-05-2017 10:17PM

I also think she's very average, even psycho looking in that pic.
But I've come to realise that men who frequent the internet have a much different take on beauty than I do, so that explains it.

Wibbs · 24-05-2017 11:17PM

Widdershins wrote: »

I agree. I don't watch it but I googled and thought, what is the fuss about?

This chap;

With this chappess;
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Never, or extremely unlikely to happen beyond some male fantasy world, or he's a bazillionaire and/or extremely bright and funny. In the show he's not. He's some whinging very cut price Woody Allen type. Woody Allen was/is talented, extremely bright, oh and powerful in his industry and rich. Him pulling Diane Keaton(among others) back in the day, not a big shock.

And the idea that a goodlooking woman wouldn't date a less goddlooking man..unless she's 'crazy' or has something else wrong with her..is a bit pathetic.

Oh plenty of good looking women go out with less good looking men and no "crazy" required, but as a near given thing, they're "equal" in more general terms. Numerous studies have shown that men and women tend to end up with partners who are pretty equal on the attractiveness scale. Where outliers occur, it's nearly always because the man has more social "value". So richer than average, more socially "powerful" and so on. Would rich and (in)famous Mick Jagger have a 30 year old pretty girlfriend(and newborn) if he was a pensioned off office worker in the suburbs? Extremely unlikely. Nothing crazy about her either. Has a kid with him and her child and her will want for nothing in life because of it. Quite sensible actually, if a tad cynical.

Would Jimmy Page have a 20 odd year old girlfriend if he was a suburban 71 year old?
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a43baf30d69064d08fb1fc13f788fba2.jpg?noindex=1

He would not. Not a hope.

Widdershins · 24-05-2017 11:30PM

Wibbs wrote: »

This chap;

With this chappess;

Never, or extremely unlikely to happen beyond some male fantasy world, or he's a bazillionaire and/or extremely bright and funny. In the show he's not. He's some whinging very cut price Woody Allen type. Woody Allen was/is talented, extremely bright, oh and powerful in his industry and rich. Him pulling Diane Keaton(among others) back in the day, not a big shock.

Oh plenty of good looking women go out with less good looking men and no "crazy" required, but as a near given thing, they're "equal" in more general terms. Numerous studies have shown that men and women tend to end up with partners who are pretty equal on the attractiveness scale. Where outliers occur, it's nearly always because the man has more social "value". So richer than average, more socially "powerful" and so on. Would rich and (in)famous Mick Jagger have a 30 year old pretty girlfriend(and newborn) if he was a pensioned off office worker in the suburbs? Extremely unlikely. Nothing crazy about her either. Has a kid with him and her child and her will want for nothing in life because of it. Quite sensible actually, if a tad cynical.

Would Jimmy Page have a 20 odd year old girlfriend if he was a suburban 71 year old?

He would not. Not a hope.

Well put, but the comment I was replying to just seemed to imply that looks are the be all and end all and there's just no way that a good looking woman would date an ugly man. A bright and funny personality can be equally as attractive. The dull personality of the male character was explained after my comment.

StripedBoxers · 24-05-2017 11:49PM

Tattoos and piercings are instant turn offs for me, I've no problem with tattoos themselves, a few of my friends have them and they look great but I am just not attracted to men with them.

Facial and mouth piercings, they really turn me off, even more than tattoos.

Smoking is another one, its stinks, and it is bloody expensive too. I just couldn't kiss someone who had just had a smoke or anything. Stomach turning even thinking about it.

Bambi985 · 25-05-2017 01:16AM

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh plenty of good looking women go out with less good looking men and no "crazy" required, but as a near given thing, they're "equal" in more general terms. Numerous studies have shown that men and women tend to end up with partners who are pretty equal on the attractiveness scale. Where outliers occur, it's nearly always because the man has more social "value". So richer than average, more socially "powerful" and so on. Would rich and (in)famous Mick Jagger have a 30 year old pretty girlfriend(and newborn) if he was a pensioned off office worker in the suburbs? Extremely unlikely. Nothing crazy about her either. Has a kid with him and her child and her will want for nothing in life because of it. Quite sensible actually, if a tad cynical.

Or you know, she happens to like the guy and thinks he's bloody hilarious/kind-hearted/interesting/generous and those are more of a pull than his "social standing" or the contents of his pocket.

My boyfriend gets the "what's she doing with you" and "she's way too good for you har har har" comments all the time, he's not minted and he's not Mick Jagger and to me he's got the kindest face and biggest heart of anyone I know and essentially laughed me into bed. Stranger things have happened. Women are not all monkeys trying to swing from one money-grabbing branch to another in the same way that most men can see passed a pretty face/nice body to the batsh1t crazy and bonkers that may be lurking within.

Persephone kindness · 25-05-2017 01:23AM

I have never had a relationship with a shallow dealbreaker.

I keep hearing the phrase though so these chaps must be breaking deals all over the shop!

RDM_83 again · 25-05-2017 02:32AM

This type of nose ring, I think its cos they sort of make it look like somebody has a snot coming out.
images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRkx15b2NrKKDJKHTFDWIUq7Y4evrDsxKjmNUHjyh23OERgpi16BQ

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRkx15b2NrKKDJKHTFDWIUq7Y4evrDsxKjmNUHjyh23OERgpi16BQ

readyletsgo · 25-05-2017 11:21AM

Parchment wrote: »

No - if i see them on someone else. I always think its a strange thing to do - like people who pull them really tightly, seems like they are frustrated in some way.

I think, that says way more about you, than others who tighten their laces TBH.

kylith · 25-05-2017 11:26AM

Thankfully not common on men, but I hate cheek piercings. They just look like big infected zits.

Wibbs · 25-05-2017 12:00PM

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Tattoos and piercings are instant turn offs for me,

Piercings I generally don't mind TBH, tatts I don't find attractive at all.

Bambi985 wrote: »

Or you know, she happens to like the guy and thinks he's bloody hilarious/kind-hearted/interesting/generous and those are more of a pull than his "social standing" or the contents of his pocket.

Sure, personality can certainly up someones standing. I'd agree there. I wrote "Oh plenty of good looking women go out with less good looking men and no "crazy" required, but as a near given thing, they're "equal" in more general terms" and I'd include personality as a factor in that.

most men can see passed a pretty face/nice body to the batsh1t crazy and bonkers that may be lurking within.

True, but in general a better looking woman can get away with more batsh1t crazy and bonkers than a plain one.

Still it has been my overwhelming experience that people tend to pair up pretty equally all things considered. Of the many guys I've known who have reckoned their girlfriend was "out of their league", I've only known one where that was the case(physically. She was as dumb as a box of rocks).

Firblog · 25-05-2017 12:05PM

Easy for me, if you pronounce words beginning with TH without the H it's not ever gonna last.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 25-05-2017 12:25PM

Gillian Jacobs is anything but average looking, but I don't think the gap in looks in Love is unrealistic. It's funny, reading commentary about the show, for some reason that issue seems to drive a lot of male viewers crazy and render the show unwatchable.

Seems OTT to me because a) they make sense as a pair of characters who'd be attracted to each other, regardless of looks (and Jesus you'd swear he was the elephant man) and b) I don't know why this particular iteration of a very common trope is such a lightning rod. I have theories but this is probably derailing the thread at this point.

chrissb8 · 25-05-2017 12:37PM

Have a few when I really think about it....

That thick syrupy South Dublin accent. Instant turn off. Vowels going on forever "That was soooo uuuunnbelievable, Sooo Yummy". Please shut up and never talk to me again.

Wearing spandex to have a body shape. Why are you trying to fool me or lie to me? Of course I want to go to bed with someone who has a reasonable body not someone who's suddenly a few pounds heavier.

Softness. I like a woman with will and grit. Not someone who cries and panics at any situation going awry. Nothing more attractive than a woman who is assertive and nothing more unattractive than a woman who plays up to the stereotype of being helpless but in some way is happy to live that role as it gives them an excuse not to do a number of things. "I wouldn't be strong enough for that" "I'd be too emotional doing something like that" blady blady blah yeah whatever.

Dr Crayfish · 25-05-2017 12:43PM

Firblog wrote: »

Easy for me, if you pronounce words beginning with TH without the H it's not ever gonna last.

You're in the wrong country for that

pilly · 25-05-2017 01:19PM

IamtheWalrus wrote:

OMG I wear slippers

Just make sure never to wear them in front of the woman of your dreams!

Widdershins · 25-05-2017 01:22PM

Firblog wrote: »

Easy for me, if you pronounce words beginning with TH without the H it's not ever gonna last.

I often heard the 'r's being left out in England. At least Yorkshire people can pronounce the letter 'r'. Apart from the ones who say ''Yawksheh''. I like a good hard Irish R.

Widdershins · 25-05-2017 01:27PM

chrissb8 wrote: »

Have a few when I really think about it....

That thick syrupy South Dublin accent. Instant turn off. Vowels going on forever "That was soooo uuuunnbelievable, Sooo Yummy". Please shut up and never talk to me again.

Wearing spandex to have a body shape. Why are you trying to fool me or lie to me? Of course I want to go to bed with someone who has a reasonable body not someone who's suddenly a few pounds heavier.

Softness. I like a woman with will and grit. Not someone who cries and panics at any situation going awry. Nothing more attractive than a woman who is assertive and nothing more unattractive than a woman who plays up to the stereotype of being helpless but in some way is happy to live that role as it gives them an excuse not to do a number of things. "I wouldn't be strong enough for that" "I'd be too emotional doing something like that" blady blady blah yeah whatever.

I have trouble dealing with people like that in general. I obviously understand people can crack under too much/prolonged pressure, or if they have anxiety or a phobia, but someone who flaps and cries consistently at every hurdle or even when they're happy. Sweet divine mother of god!

Applies as much to men for me. If someone is irritable and snappy under pressure, goodbye.

storker · 25-05-2017 01:34PM

Anyone saying "Simple as..." or "End of.."

PhilipsR · 25-05-2017 01:35PM

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

You're in te wrong country for tat

FYP

SarahMollie · 25-05-2017 01:38PM

Reading this thread has made me realise that I clearly put up with a lot! :P

My OH has slippers (fairly grandadish) and he ties his shoe laces really tightly.

On the slippers front he has a delightful slippers/dressing gown combo for weekend mornings which he wears as we make breakfast.

I only really know about the shoe laces because he was recently injured meaning I had to tie his shoes for him in the morning and he wasn't happy unless they were as tight as humanly possible (he made me redo them a few times). Can't say I've noticed it previously in all the years we've been together so all in all, its not a deal breaker for me

Gravelly · 25-05-2017 01:50PM

SarahMollie wrote: »

Reading this thread has made me realise that I clearly put up with a lot! :P

My OH has slippers (fairly grandadish) and he ties his shoe laces really tightly.

On the slippers front he has a delightful slippers/dressing gown combo for weekend mornings which he wears as we make breakfast.

I only really know about the shoe laces because he was recently injured meaning I had to tie his shoes for him in the morning and he wasn't happy unless they were as tight as humanly possible (he made me redo them a few times). Can't say I've noticed it previously in all the years we've been together so all in all, its not a deal breaker for me

He's obviously a raving psychopath. I'd confidently predict he's going to murder you all in your sleep any day now. Probably with an axe. Or possibly a hammer.

'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

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