Need Advice Please, I'm 18

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 02:05PM #1

So I'm 18 and trying to do my Leaving Cert in a few weeks but dad kicked me out with no money just before my exams, he kicked me out because of me being late for school. I have been staying with a family friend but she's going away next week and don't know where to go next but was wondering if there's any schemes or ways to get accommodation or some money per week? Can't work til after my exams...

jimgoose · 12-05-2017 02:15PM

Either there's more to this than you're letting on, or your father is a lunatic.

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 02:27PM

My dad admitted to throwing me out mainly because I'm 18 and apparently doesn't get children's allowance etc...

silverharp · 12-05-2017 02:38PM

could you talk to your school principal?

athtrasna · 12-05-2017 02:40PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

My dad admitted to throwing me out mainly because I'm 18 and apparently doesn't get children's allowance etc...

If you're in full time education they would still be entitled to child benefit for you

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 02:41PM

I've tried to talk to him and my councillor and my principal but all he says is hang on til the exams but I'm more worried about my depression and mental health

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 02:43PM

Well he says he doesn't get money but he mustn't be telling the truth.. He kicked my 17 year old sister out too and she's staying with a friend.

jimgoose · 12-05-2017 02:45PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

Well he says he doesn't get money but he mustn't be telling the truth.. He kicked my 17 year old sister out too and she's staying with a friend.

Seriously - is that man... alright? Is your mam around?

stargazer 68 · 12-05-2017 02:46PM

athtrasna wrote: »

If you're in full time education they would still be entitled to child benefit for you

No they aren't. It changed a couple of years ago. One you reach 18 it stops.
Op is there teacher at the school you can talk to?

njs030 · 12-05-2017 02:46PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

Well he says he doesn't get money but he mustn't be telling the truth.. He kicked my 17 year old sister out too and she's staying with a friend.

Not that it's relevant but I'd feel like ringing child benefit and letting them know you don't live there any longer so they do stop it!

Perhaps you have a friend to stay with for a few weeks until the exams are over?

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 02:46PM

He cares more about my step mum than us, mum's about but has 5 kids to look after and hasn't got room for us...

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 02:48PM

It's worth a shot, he won't even pay 20euro to help whoever is looking after me, I could but I'd feel so embarrassed and ashamed when I cant pay them for looking after me

jimgoose · 12-05-2017 02:48PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

He cares more about my step mum than us, mum's about but has 5 kids to look after and hasn't got room for us...

And has the step-mum anything to say about you two younglings being hoofed out onto the road?

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 02:49PM

I don't think she knows yet due to the fact that she lives in the states...

Dial Hard · 12-05-2017 03:02PM

jordanr23 wrote:

I don't think she knows yet due to the fact that she lives in the states...

This just gets more and more bizarre and I'm not *entirely* sure I believe it.

However, on the offchance... ring Tusla about your sister. I'm not sure if they can intervene on your behalf, but she's still a minor, so that's step one. Step two, arrange a meeting with your principal and guidance counsellor and make sure they understand exactly what's going on. Step three, ring your mother. She may have five other children but she's still responsible for you both. Step four, ring an aunt or uncle on either side and tell them what the fcuk is happening. I find it very hard to believe that there isn't a single adult in either of your lives who won't step in here.

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 03:07PM

I do understand its hard to believe and the only adult that isn't my mum or dad is my family friend who is going away for 2 weeks, I can try mum's house yeah for a bit but she won't be able to afford to keep me and my sister, I can try hat you suggested about my sister, thanks you. Kind of mad to believe this but its hard even for me to sort this out and figure out what I can do so I know why you're finding it hard to believe.

woodchuck · 12-05-2017 03:56PM

OP your Dad sounds like an absolute looper.

Your immediate goal should be to get through your exams. Go to your Mam - there's no way she'll leave you on the street. Even if you have to sleep on the couch/floor for a while, at least you'll have a roof over your head.

Once the exams are over, then you can start thinking about a more long-term solution. At least at that stage you'll be in a position to work.

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 03:58PM

Yeah that is an option I guess, I just know that I won't get much study done in mum's house because of there being 5 young kids there and not much stability. It's a last resort I guess, I put out this question to see if there were any options to get help or another way rather than being at mum's house, somewhere I can get study done, Thanks...

jimgoose · 12-05-2017 04:01PM

woodchuck wrote: »

OP your Dad sounds like an absolute looper...

I can't for the life of me apprehend what the man is trying to achieve here, by chucking the youngfella out with the Leaving Cert. approaching, unless there's something wrong with him.

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 04:10PM

I can't either, no matter what, the next month is the time I need him the most, only thing I need for the next month is stability and somewhere safe to stay and get the exams done. Tried texting and calling him and never get an answer and he won't answer the phone to my councilor either. Any time I see him about the town he doesn't even look at me.

woodchuck · 12-05-2017 04:11PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

Yeah that is an option I guess, I just know that I won't get much study done in mum's house because of there being 5 young kids there and not much stability. It's a last resort I guess, I put out this question to see if there were any options to get help or another way rather than being at mum's house, somewhere I can get study done, Thanks...

You can use your mum's house to sleep, eat, shower etc. But if it's not a suitable environment to study, you could find somewhere else specifically for studying. For example a local library that opens in the evenings. Or at a friends house (much less of a burden compared to living at a friends house).

jimgoose wrote: »

I can't for the life of me apprehend what the man is trying to achieve here, by chucking the youngfella out with the Leaving Cert. approaching, unless there's something wrong with him.

Yeah, or the Dad is possibly just a horribly selfish scum of the earth type of person

jimgoose · 12-05-2017 04:11PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

I can't either, no matter what, the next month is the time I need him the most, only thing I need for the next month is stability and somewhere safe to stay and get the exams done. Tried texting and calling him and never get an answer and he won't answer the phone to my councilor either. Any time I see him about the town he doesn't even look at me.

And you say this is all because you were late for school? What's is that about, exactly?

dar100 · 12-05-2017 04:17PM

Your been led up the garden path guys

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 04:17PM

It was because I was at work the night before and forgot my bag at work and had to walk to work in the morning to get it before I headed to school.

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 04:18PM

Sorry that you think that because it's a messy situation to be honest...

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 04:19PM

Yeah that seems to be a good idea, could use the school after school to do study. Never even thought of the library or anything like that, thanks I appreciate it.

SusieBlue · 12-05-2017 04:19PM

I'm not buying this, sorry. The only person you inconvenienced was yourself by forgetting the bag, its not like you were snoring in bed and didn't get up in time, I don't believe any adult would chuck an exam year child out for something so trivial.
Either you are leaving out massive details and relationship history or this is making zero sense.

jimgoose · 12-05-2017 04:19PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

It was because I was at work the night before and forgot my bag at work and had to walk to work in the morning to get it before I headed to school.

I'd have broken my arse laughing at you before getting the car out. Are you quite sure that's all it was?

njs030 · 12-05-2017 04:19PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

It was because I was at work the night before and forgot my bag at work and had to walk to work in the morning to get it before I headed to school.

So you do have an income to pay your way?

jordanr23 · 12-05-2017 04:21PM

I understand, we've always had a dodgy relationship with falling out a lot etc... But it's okay if you don't believe it, just was looking for an adult/parents perspective and opinion.

pilly · 12-05-2017 04:24PM

jordanr23 wrote: »

It was because I was at work the night before and forgot my bag at work and had to walk to work in the morning to get it before I headed to school.

So you have a job then? What's the problem?

Need Advice Please, I'm 18

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