"Why I did not report my rapist"

Unfortunately this thread just continues to feed a professional trolls attention inbox.

Even the title screams clickbait.

The best thing to do with people like Rosemary is to park the faux outrage and simply delete/ block/ ignore.

There is a Garda Station down the street if she wants to make a proper complaint.

Although she probably will now and live stream it on twitter.

Wibbs wrote: »

Yep NS and as I have long maintained, no matter what argument - and I use the word loosely - they put forward, the mantra of this kind of "feminism" always boils down to; women are always agentless victims and men are always at fault.

They can't comprehend or refuse to place any responsibility for anything(not just sexual assault) at the feet of women. The only time women are at fault in this daft movement is if they refuse to follow and agree with the catechism of the Most Holy Church of the Perpetual Victim. Then they're traitors to the Sisterhood©. Even then it's because these poor deluded women are clearly influenced by the Patriarchy©, so it's still a man's fault somewhere.

Though like I said earlier, men and women are beginning to call bullshít on this current movement and call out the professional pedlars of same.


As I've noted B, this type of "feminist" just doesn't do irony. You may as well be speaking Swahili. Their lack of self awareness is only matched by their excess of self involvement. How they survived pre interwebs social media is a mystery.

Feminism for years was largely about the fight for women to have their voice heard, to be able to have their say in the world when at the time women were unable to do so, the fight to not only have a say in society generally but to be heard when we do, yet now these so called "feminists" are saying we should be asked by a man before we speak up about our own body? Em, what?!

The OP had left put this part of her account :

Right afterwards he asked if I wanted him to leave - "Do you want me to leave?" When I look back this is the part I have the biggest issue with. Up to this point,I would believe you if you told me that he didn't know what he was doing was wrong - that he didn't know that he was taking something I wasn't willing to give. But he knew: the minute it was over, he asked if I wanted him to leave. I said yes. He left.

So he had a fair idea she wasn't a happy bunny.

Crea wrote: »

The OP had left put this part of her account :

Right afterwards he asked if I wanted him to leave - "Do you want me to leave?" When I look back this is the part I have the biggest issue with. Up to this point,I would believe you if you told me that he didn't know what he was doing was wrong - that he didn't know that he was taking something I wasn't willing to give. But he knew: the minute it was over, he asked if I wanted him to leave. I said yes. He left.

So he had a fair idea she wasn't a happy bunny.

I've often asked people after sex if I should leave or will I stay. It doesn't mean I was raped/did the raping.
Also, maybe he got awkward vibes- it happens.

Winterlong wrote: »

Or perhaps, been a nice fella, he was asking permission to stay the night rather than assuming she wanted him to stay? She said no and he left.
Depends on what way you look at it.

Well it's one no/yes he understood. The nice fella that he is...

Whatever people might think about rape/not rape, describing him as nice is stretching it a bit.

Crea wrote: »

The OP had left put this part of her account :

Right afterwards he asked if I wanted him to leave - "Do you want me to leave?" When I look back this is the part I have the biggest issue with. Up to this point,I would believe you if you told me that he didn't know what he was doing was wrong - that he didn't know that he was taking something I wasn't willing to give. But he knew: the minute it was over, he asked if I wanted him to leave. I said yes. He left.

So he had a fair idea she wasn't a happy bunny.

Guy asks should he leave after sex... This can also happen in non rape situations.

And I thought this is a guy who doesn't ask permission for anything? And if this is the part that she, in her own words, has the biggest issue with (and not the actual rape that she said occurred here) then she is angry at the wrong thing.

anna080 wrote: »

Usually cos I love my own bed and dont want to leave my doggy home alone :pac:
But alas I've a boyfriend now so all that fun is gone lol

Boyfriend = Patriarchy ruining your fun :pac

OPRESSION!

mzungu wrote: »

That is an extremely unhealthy way to view the world. How is it the vast majority of women who live in this grand country of ours seems to happily be able to go about their business without having the Five-O on speed dial or stooping to tie their shoelace when somebody walks by them?

Would being bent down not be a more vunerable position to put yourself in,...?

I wonder does the guy shes talking about, know about this or realize its him she has accused of rape? She says he not a monster. She admits that there would be about a 1% chance that it would be rape if it went to court. Judging by this thread, its about 50/50 who think it is.

Maguined wrote: »

I gave into sex before to avoid an awkward conversation on rejection. It was a relationship where we were living together but it was extremely rocky and this occured shortly before we broke up. She had been out to a party at her friends house that I did not attend as I had work the next day with an important project. When she came home and got into bed she wanted to have sex. I said I did not want to and she proceeded to start initiating. I was not in the mood, it was late and I had work tomorrow while she did not and I was unhappy in the relationship so I did not want to have sex but after I said no and explained why several times and she continued to pester I did the same and felt it would be easier to just get it over with rather than physically stop her and endure the resulting several hour long fight and get no sleep before work.

I do not feel like a rape victim but by your definition do you believe I was raped because I said no and she persisted? Would you be okay with this ex of mine going to prison or being publically labelled a rapist even though by my own admission I gave into having sex despite saying no several times?

Calhoun wrote: »

As i have said before the danger of this scenario is 1. We change the meaning of rape and also we dont play the importance of the act because if you can just awkwardly walk yourself into a rape then it musnt be a big deal. right? and 2. We accept that woman are the weaker sex and need to be protected.

What form of laws should we have in place to make sure we address the latter? Do we bring back segregation? Do we even trust women with simple things like holding down a job or voting?

I just want to make it clear I didn't call him a rapist or call this scenario rape. All I said was what this guy did was wrong. I do not believe she was to blame in any way in this situation. She said no, he ignored it. He should have stopped when she said no. Asked was she okay, could he continue. Something as simple as that. But no she said no, he persisted to take off her clothes. She kept saying no, but he continued. I can't understand how anyone can think this is morally okay or somehow she is equally at fault here. Franky, I find it scary (though maybe not surprising) that people are so quick to defend him.

Btw she didn't name and shame him. She is not dragging him to court. She is just highlighting an experience that is all too common. There seems to be an prevailing attitude that if you keep persisting until they give then its okay. It is not okay.

I'm not going to comment on your relationship or how you felt about it. I've been in similar situations with a partner. I think most people in relationships have found themselves in similar situations. How I felt about my partner begging for sex when I wasn't in the mood was very different to how I felt about being groped by a stranger in a club after me telling him no is very different (Thankfully he didn't persist after I said no a second time, and I was surround by friends) This guy wasn't her partner, he was a relative stranger. Very different scenario.

meeeeh wrote: »

I do find it weird that you are told by your parents that your nighty is too short when you are eleven. I don't think her father is potential rapist but that's just creepy. Why would you say that to 11 years old child?

Because shes not a small child anymore, in case of visitors

I haven't engaged in this conversation but I've read every word of it so far.

I haven't engaged to criticise or congratulate Rosemary.

I did however inform her on twitter to the fact that there was a very meaningful debate ongoing. When someone replied to me asking for the link to the thread I responded. I have also liked some responses on twitter to people engaging with her (respectfully I might add).

She's just blocked me on twitter.

Calhoun wrote: »

Its not a very different scenario are you honestly saying if your option is being raped or talking to somebody you would just lie there and take it? On the other hand nobody is saying being a pest and trying to harrash someone for sex is ok either but dear god responsibility has to be taken on both sides to communicate properly.

Also as others have pointed out the alumni of the Uni's here are close nit and it would take much for people to figure out who he is.

You also quoted but ignored most of what i was saying hence why i have had to repeat myself again.

She said no several times, how much clearer can you get. Taking her article at face value she wasn't sending mixed signals, she wasn't all over him, she didn't drag him into the bed room. He started kissing and undressing her. She said said no. What else does she have to do. Does it have to get to the point where she starts screaming, punching him off. Does she have to say no 10 times?

Like I said several times, he didn't take the time to step back and ask was it okay to continue. Even after saying no several times. She communicated that she didn't want this. He persisted.