Contact with an ex= head melt!!!!

Carrana · 23-02-2017 09:53AM #1

Recently I've been back in contact with an ex, relationship lasted over 5 years it ended 2 years ago, pretty badly there was a lot of anger on both sides.
We didn't speak for a while but we recently started chatting on whatsapp but
No matter what the chat begins with he always initiates sex talk it's like hes obsessed with sex, or he will send me a random pic of his penis, I find it really bizarre
This guy is mid 30s, then lastnight I was on fb and I couldn't resist checking his page and it's filled with ALL his previous ex's, and girls that he's admitted sleeping with while he was with me, these girls even liking his new pics so I'm presuming they are friends now
I can't believe it he's just showing how little respect he has for me
And then the rest of the page is porn stars he likes and models

But then he will come on whatsapp and expect to chat to me, I'm RAGING I'm letting this annoy me
The whole thing feels seedy and wrong
And so bloody childish I'm mid 30s too, he isn't the type of guy I want in my life
But why the tell can't my heart catch up with my head

Scarinae · 23-02-2017 10:02AM

It sounds like he just enjoys the ego boost of thinking he could still have you if he wanted you... Everything you've said about him makes him sound like a tool, so I'd say just block him on everything (Whatsapp, Facebook etc) so that he can't message you and you won't be tempted to respond.

Carrana · 23-02-2017 10:27AM

Scarinae wrote: »

It sounds like he just enjoys the ego boost of thinking he could still have you if he wanted you... Everything you've said about him makes him sound like a tool, so I'd say just block him on everything (Whatsapp, Facebook etc) so that he can't message you and you won't be tempted to respond.

Thanks scarinae I think your right

Mr. Incognito · 23-02-2017 10:28AM

And you are still talking to him why??

Carrana · 23-02-2017 10:32AM

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

And you are still talking to him why??

Well after I seen the fb page I'm not
I suppose before I always missed him and wondered what he was up to
It's like I'm speaking to a different person now he's so sleazy
Or perhaps he was always sleazy and I'm only really noticing now that I'm older
I'm at stage now where's there's more to life that sex talk non stop all day like some horny teenager
But he's still stuck there
He actually made a comment a few days ago that I was boring now because all I talked about was my house( I'm doing some renovations at moment) and my son
But that's more important to me than seeing pics of his genitals and talking about how horny he is

mapaca · 23-02-2017 10:36AM

Ugh. Block, delete, move on!

GritBiscuit · 23-02-2017 10:42AM

You sound like you are on completely different pages in every single aspect of life - if he's annoying you and brings nothing positive to the table then just cut him out - whether you tell him or just block and ignore is up to you.

If he's sending you shots of his junk without any encouragement, I wouldn't expect him to cop on any time soon and the latter would be the most effective way of getting rid of him, his advances, his fb wall of fame and the oh so attractive close ups of his anatomy.

Permabear · 23-02-2017 10:43AM

This post has been deleted.

Bandana boy · 23-02-2017 10:56AM

Well I am not sure what is on his FB page has to do with respect for you , your not an item and have not been for 2 years

Raging at something that has nothing to do with you is pretty self involved and narcissistic.

It seems to me he is being pretty upfront with you that he is only interested in Sex ,So if that is not what you want then move on and forget about him , getting upset with him and calling him out as simpler or less evolved person as you is a pretty unhealthy way to view the world.
You will not change him so knock any thoughts of that on the head and go find people with more similar values as you to interact with.

Carrana · 23-02-2017 11:02AM

GritBiscuit wrote: »

You sound like you are on completely different pages in every single aspect of life - if he's annoying you and brings nothing positive to the table then just cut him out - whether you tell him or just block and ignore is up to you.

If he's sending you shots of his junk without any encouragement, I wouldn't expect him to cop on any time soon and the latter would be the most effective way of getting rid of him, his advances, his fb wall of fame and the oh so attractive close ups of his anatomy.

Thanks so much for reply
I think I will do,

Carrana · 23-02-2017 11:10AM

Bandana boy wrote: »

Well I am not sure what is on his FB page has to do with respect for you , your not an item and have not been for 2 years

Raging at something that has nothing to do with you is pretty self involved and narcissistic.

It seems to me he is being pretty upfront with you that he is only interested in Sex ,So if that is not what you want then move on and forget about him , getting upset with him and calling him out as simpler or less evolved person as you is a pretty unhealthy way to view the world.
You will not change him so knock any thoughts of that on the head and go find people with more similar values as you to interact with.

Thanks for your reply, no I'm not upset he has a Facebook page I just feel like he's obviously not sorry for his behaviour while we were together when he has all those women on his page as "friends" when he knows how I reacted when I found out about them all
And as I said one of them liked his new picture at the same time he was chatting me on whatsapp
I just don't understand how he could be in contact with us both at the same time
I guess I'm still hurting about the past
I don't want him back I know that but when I seen that particular girl liking the pic it brought me back to that awful time in my life when I found out about them
It was pretty horrific she walked up to me in the bathroom at a wedding and told me she had slept with him straight out
It was his family wedding and I was an hour from home it was devastating
Im just looking for advice on here about how to deal with this situation I'm now in and the feelings I'm feeling

Neyite · 23-02-2017 12:03PM

What you are describing is someone you are still hung up on or hurting from and who is not even considering you a single bit. He doesn't care how you feel or how you think about him being friends with the woman he cheated on you with. He's probably long moved on and not giving you a passing thought.

To be honest, you sound like you are still with him - being shocked that he's FB friends with both of you and that he..talks to both of you. You are not with him any more, so he can be friends with whoever he wants and talk to whoever he wants. I know it's hurting you that he's not one bit remorseful for cheating on you and it sounds like he never was. But even if he did regret it, he's allowed to stop castigating himself after 2 years have passed.

For your own sake, it is best if you block him totally on all social media. Find someone better for you. You wont as long as you are pining over this player.

BetsyEllen · 23-02-2017 05:16PM

Carrana wrote: »

Well after I seen the fb page I'm not
I suppose before I always missed him and wondered what he was up to
It's like I'm speaking to a different person now he's so sleazy

Based on this, I think it's a great thing that this has happened.

As you no longer need to wonder - you know what he's up to and you know that he's turned into a dirty sleaze.

It's very easy to think of an ex and remember the good times only, which leads you to wish things had turned out differently.
His behaviour now has put that out of your head and made you see what he really is and wonder no more.

I highly doubt you'll ever miss him again after all of this.

Delete, block and he'll be out of your head in a fortnight

Airyfairy12 · 23-02-2017 05:54PM

Delete, block, ignore. He sounds seedy as f**k. Have a bit of self respect and stop giving him attention.

B.A._Baracus · 23-02-2017 06:08PM

Hi Carrana,
For the record I am a guy I know what he is up to and I've seen this dozens of times

.... he wants some easy sex. See the logic behind this is that it's easier to have sex with someone you've slept with before.

You called him sleazy. If fact, I would be willing to bet he isn't as such as you said yourself you didn't see it before. He is emotionally out of the situation. He doesn't care about how you're doing as you two broke up two years ago. He just wants to sleep with you again or for you to send him dirty pictures at the very least.

Realise what he is at and cut contact.

Gavinz · 23-02-2017 07:21PM

So...delete and block his number and all social media.

Ursus Horribilis · 23-02-2017 08:47PM

Carrana wrote: »

This guy is mid 30s, then last night I was on fb and I couldn't resist checking his page and it's filled with ALL his previous exes, and girls that he's admitted sleeping with while he was with me, these girls even liking his new pics so I'm presuming they are friends now

This guy must have charm by the bucketload if he's friends on Facebook with all of these exes. Which brings me on to the bit I've bolded. Why are you surprised he's a sleazebag? He cheated on you during your relationship which says a lot about the sort of person he is.

We can all tell you he's a sleazy horndog until the cows come home. You clearly still have feelings for him and that's something you're going to have to work through. The one practical thing you should do is cut all contact with him. In other words, block his number on your phone, unfriend and block him on Facebook, take him off snapchat etc. It's obvious that he's hoping to get his leg over and you'd probably oblige. So you need to take whatever steps are necessary to stop him being able to contact you again

njs030 · 23-02-2017 09:17PM

You're no longer in a relationship with him op and haven't been for a long time, who he talks to or is friends with isn't your business.

How are you responding to these sex texts and photos? Are you engaging with him?
It seems that you want his attention but also want him to be begging and pleading with you to take him back which isn't going to happen.

Why don't you ask him what he wants?

Big Bag of Chips · 24-02-2017 12:20AM

Carrana wrote: »

I just don't understand how he could be in contact with us both at the same time

Just reread that and think about what you said here.......

He cheated on you with her! Being in contact with you both at the same time is what he does!!!

You're not the only one he's sexting. He's not interested in you. He's told you that. He's told you you're boring. He's interested in sexting, with it hopefully leading to sex. Wishing there was more to it is only setting yourself up for a fall. Block him now. You don't owe him anymore time or explanation.

Contact with an ex= head melt!!!!

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