The Undateables...

I can imagine that some people find the show exploitative but having watched it for a few years now I feel it isn’t.

The show genuinely tries to portray what the participants are feeling and experiencing, hence periods of awkward silence. Don’t find it wrong to show how some have difficult times with dating.

Over time and revisits viewers get to know some of them quite well as their story is followed and I don’t think they are mistreated or misrepresented in any way.

The people on this show are often ones who would be ridiculed or laughed at by society and I do think this programme is a genuine attempt to change that.

I myself have learned to understand more about conditions such as Asperger’s or Tourette’s through the show so I think that is a good thing.

buckwheat wrote: »

People trying to convince themselves that this show is "changing perceptions" and "providing an insight" ffs.

It actually does, whether you want to believe it or not. I've watched every season over the years and it's given me a massive insight into the disabilities in question, as well as the people behind the disabilities.

The show is tasteful and doesn't take itself too seriously. It is lighthearted and doesn't portray any of the people on it in a "poor me" way. Nearly every single person who has been on the show has a sense of humour about their disability and doesn't just focus on their struggles. It gives a "human" side to disabilities which previously (to me anyway) were just a word which I understood little about.

One of the "stars" of the Undateables and his mother appeared on TV yesterday to speak about their experience of it. The mother said that she was approached (without her son's knowledge) about appearing on it, and she said no without even consulting him. This is before she'd ever watched it and presumed it would be exploitative. It was two years later that her son actually asked her could he apply that she decided to give it a watch and thought it was "really lovely" and they went ahead and applied.

The show has produced relationships, engagements, marriages and babies. It has given people confidence that they never had before. It has also brought about an increase in people with disabilities actually looking for love, believing that there is someone out there for them. Both those featured in the show, and their family members, have spoken about what a positive experience it has been for them. How can any of that be a bad thing?

Deleted User wrote:

How about words like "the most mawkish and exploitative television ever seen"? The worst point and stare programme I can remember, masquerading as faux concern for its victims subjects. Anyone associated with the production of this should be shown the door and told to go drool over photos of road traffic accidents.

To be fair there's more to it than that. I live with do done who worked in a therapeutic role with people with learning disabilities. It's really difficult to explain the dos don'ts of romantic relationships to people with LD. Let alone set up situations where they can meet.

Most people want relationships. Having LD doesn't change that. I used to think that show was exploitative but since then I've seen some of the other dating shows and i think they're all cringey.

Now I see it as the undatables as normalising relationships between people with LD - any of those reality shows have an exploitative side buying this case I think the pros far outweigh the cons.

Deleted User wrote:

It is. It is akin to looking at Siamese Twins on a circus stage with some saying "...but this gives us an amazing insight into their inner beauty". As comedian Lee Ridley said, they should just be honest and rename it "would you shag a crip". The British Medical Association were right to raise objections to it.

Nobodys asking you to shag a crip. They're matching crips with people who want to shag crips. And that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable. Why?

ibarelycare wrote: »

I could be wrong, but I reckon that a lot of the people featured decide to join these dating agencies BECAUSE of the show. A lot of them are only starting to look for love for the first time, and I believe that the show is a big part of the reason for this.

You could be right in some cases but there are many who have been looking for dates for a long time and been using existing agencies.

Just wanted to make the distinction so that people don't think it's like Blind Dat e or First Dates.

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Sure. Whatever their reasons for getting together and making each other happy. None of our business but if they want to share it with you and me, and other people in situations similar to theirs, then let them at it.

I can't help thinking the OP might see the undatables as being worse than other dating shows because it shows a class of people who shouldn't be shown on TV. Some shows (shows about people on benefits for example) try to show the protagonists failing and being miserable. This show focuses on people doing their best to find happiness. It's the best of those type of shows in my opinion.

I just think it's more innocent than people with a fetish for disabled people which is what ''people who want to shag crips'' sounded like, to me.

If I was disabled or had learning difficulties, I'm sure I would find it profoundly depressing to think I'm only ever going to be attractive as someone's weird fetish.
And I think the OP doesn't realise that people can see beyond a disability, or he wouldn't have said what's he has said.

Deleted User wrote: »

It is. It is akin to looking at Siamese Twins on a circus stage with some saying "...but this gives us an amazing insight into their inner beauty". As comedian Lee Ridley said, they should just be honest and rename it "would you shag a crip". The British Medical Association were right to raise objections to it.

This is totally wrong.

Firstly how can you criticise the show for exploiting the subjects whilst you call them 'crips' (I realise you are quoting'.

As for the Siamese Twins (conjoined twins nowadays), they were treated badly and people just gawked at them and they were often not their volumtarily or it was their only chance to make a living.

This show is very different as it shows the people's characters, who are all voluntarily on the show and the audience really gets to know them and there experiences. It's very good TV and done with care.

Widdershins wrote:

I just think it's more innocent than people with a fetish for disabled people which is what ''people who want to shag crips'' sounded like, to me.

Ah I get you. I was responding to this by conor 74. Rather than object to the use of 'crip'. I just used their language.

Deleted User wrote:

It is. It is akin to looking at Siamese Twins on a circus stage with some saying "...but this gives us an amazing insight into their inner beauty". As comedian Lee Ridley said, they should just be honest and rename it "would you shag a crip".

El_Duderino 09 wrote:

Nobodys asking you to shag a crip. They're matching crips with people who want to shag crips. And that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable. Why?

Widdershins wrote:

If I was disabled or had learning difficulties, I'm sure I would find it profoundly depressing to think I'm only ever going to be attractive as someone's weird fetish. And I think the OP doesn't realise that people can see beyond a disability, or he wouldn't have said what's he has said.

That's pretty much my opinion. Let people find love wherever it suits them. The show is normalising relationships between people which is good.

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Rather than object to the use of 'crip'. I just used their language.

Yes, I know

Its not ugly shaming most of the people on the show arent ugly they just have some kind of disease/mental disorder which makes it difficult for them to date other people, these people willingly go on the show I think you need to remember

steddyeddy wrote:

I watched an episode where an autistic man went on a date. You could tell the man struggled with emotions and lacked social skills. Anyway after the first date, the man texted the girl saying "I love you". Here was a man with problems connecting with people, putting himself on the line and going on a date. All for our entertainment. It's not something that I'll watch again.

Even if it's a fairly accurate representation of reflection of real life dating for someone with learning disabilities?