Young lads hugging each other???

A Battered Mars Bar · 11-01-2017 02:24PM #1

What's going with this?

I work near a school and everyday at lunch time the lads aged about 14-16 are walking around with their arms around each other hugging, the same you'd walk with your missus on the way home after a feed of beer. Is this the norm now????

razorblunt · 11-01-2017 02:25PM

I don't see anything wrong with that.
Is the issue just with lads doing it?
Girls link arms all the time, is that ok?

Then again, I am a hugger.

howardmarks · 11-01-2017 02:27PM

Must be a gay....ol scoil.

I'll get my coat

me_right_one · 11-01-2017 02:28PM

Its been creeping in a while now. I really feel sorry for future generations in Ireland, the male role-model has almost been completely eradicated. And people say there's nothing wrong with a liberal agenda :rolleyes:

A Battered Mars Bar · 11-01-2017 02:31PM

razorblunt wrote: »

I don't see anything wrong with that.
Is the issue just with lads doing it?
Girls link arms all the time, is that ok?

Then again, I am a hugger.

It's very strange. These lads too look normal. Not like their emos or other such nonsense. Just saw two of them walking the whole way down the street with the arms around each other and a third lad walking alongside looking spare.

AudreyHepburn · 11-01-2017 02:33PM

A Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

What's going with this? I work near a school and everyday at lunch time the lads aged about 14-16 are walking around with their arms around each other hugging, the same you'd walk with your missus on the way home after a feed of beer. Is this the norm now????

What exactly is the problem with that? Maybe they are a couple.

If that's your biggest concern in life you need to take a good hard look at yourself tbh.

_Kaiser_ · 11-01-2017 02:33PM

Times have changed.. they're more in touch with their feelings or maybe they're gay and not afraid to hide it anymore?

As positive as that is though for the individual, I get the point you're making. Society has redefined what it is to "be a (young) man" by diluting "traditional" expectations in favour of a more generic "acceptable" version. Nowadays you're seen as "repressed", archaic, or have possible mental health issues if you are a little more "old-fashioned" in the context we're talking about.

s4uv3 · 11-01-2017 02:36PM

With the frightening levels of depression, isolation, and suicide among Ireland's young lads, I see this as a good thing.
Expression, openness, affection, being able to talk. All positives.

Also, maybe they're a couple?

_Kaiser_ · 11-01-2017 02:37PM

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

What exactly is the problem with that? Maybe they are a couple.

If that's your biggest concern in life you need to take a good hard look at yourself tbh.

Why? He asked a perfectly reasonable question that presumably stems from his own experience/background that such behaviour wouldn't be the norm among young men.

Perfectly fair and valid viewpoint too. Just because someone doesn't see everything the same way you do, doesn't mean they need a "good hard look at themselves" - therein lies the problem in fact.. the notion among our more "enlightened" that other views are only OK as long as they agree with your own.

A Battered Mars Bar · 11-01-2017 02:37PM

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

What exactly is the problem with that? Maybe they are a couple.

If that's your biggest concern in life you need to take a good hard look at yourself tbh.

They can't all be couples are you joking?? I said I see them at it everyday. It's rare you walk past any group of them without one latched onto the other.

Stay on topic please.

whiskeyman · 11-01-2017 02:38PM

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

If that's your biggest concern in life you need to take a good hard look at yourself tbh.

In fairness, I really don't think this is the OPs biggest concern in life. They are just pointing our an observation.
This is AH after all.

Maybe you need a hug too?

A Battered Mars Bar · 11-01-2017 02:40PM

I've no problems with any of them being gay. But you can tell they're not. Theyre just holding each other a lot for some reason.

elefant · 11-01-2017 02:42PM

I've seen groups of 5 and 6 year olds 'dabbing' manically in the corridors at school. It's like dabbing tourettes.

Some phenomena just can't be explained.

GerryDerpy · 11-01-2017 02:43PM

Men are becoming more feminine. Skinny jeans, hair cuts that involve more than 10 mins, face cream etc.

GritBiscuit · 11-01-2017 02:44PM

Could it just be a generational thing?

I'm sure when I was in school there were all kinds of things we did and wore that those that went before would roll their eyes at and deem ridiculous...

11-01-2017 02:44PM

Just a bunch of bros hanging out

11-01-2017 02:45PM

Sounds good to me - any environment where people are able to display their mutual affection without a care is one where minorities who have had trouble while doing so are going to suffer less. And that friends can show such affection without fear of "bums against the wall" comments can only be progress too.

People bothered by the affection shown between others are - I like to feel - a dying breed. Social happiness and mutual affection can pretty much only be good things - meanwhile at least one person I know of who was vocal about how bothered he was by homosexuals merely holding hands in cafes - his wife has left him I hear. So one can decide for one self if that is correlation or more.

As for the death of masculine role models or masculine roles in general. Well I doubt I will be lamenting that either.

southstar · 11-01-2017 02:45PM

...bit sad id say that you would even bother to raise a concern on the matter...mate the simple fact is that your'e getting old....

foggy_lad · 11-01-2017 02:46PM

A Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

It's very strange. These lads too look normal. Not like their emos or other such nonsense. Just saw two of them walking the whole way down the street with the arms around each other and a third lad walking alongside looking spare.

Hanging around schools is not really a good thing especially if you are obsessing about schoolboys hugging each other:D

A Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

I've no problems with any of them being gay. But you can tell they're not. Theyre just holding each other a lot for some reason.

Years ago this would have been seen as perfectly normal behaviour for even the roughest toughest of young lads. then the whole gay thing became an issue and lads refrained from any behaviour that might lead to them being targeted by others. Thankfully it is on the way back!

11-01-2017 02:47PM

I can see a plethora of suspensions from school for not asking for consent before they hugged their classmate.

GerryDerpy · 11-01-2017 02:49PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Sounds good to me - any environment where people are able to display their mutual affection without a care is one where minorities who have had trouble while doing so are going to suffer less. And that friends can show such affection without fear of "bums against the wall" comments can only be progress too.

People bothered by the affection shown between others are - I like to feel - a dying breed. Social happiness and mutual affection can pretty much only be good things - meanwhile at least one person I know of who was vocal about how bothered he was by homosexuals merely holding hands in cafes - his wife has left him I hear. So one can decide for one self if that is correlation or more.

As for the death of masculine role models or masculine roles in general. Well I doubt I will be lamenting that either.

I am often surprised by the view point that it is a good thing for one to show affection or express their feelings. The last thing I want from my friends would be a display of affection!

A Battered Mars Bar · 11-01-2017 02:52PM

Lads I'm well aware that some Europeans do a hug and peck on the cheek thing. Looks odd to us but we know its normal for them and fine. But they dont hold each other and cuddle while they're walking around.

Boom_Bap · 11-01-2017 02:54PM

A Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Lads I'm well aware that some Europeans do a hug and peck on the cheek thing. Looks odd to us but we know its normal for them and fine. But they dont hold each other and cuddle while they're walking around.

Yes they do. Most places in the world do.

11-01-2017 02:54PM

GerryDerpy wrote: »

I am often surprised by the view point that it is a good thing for one to show affection or express their feelings. The last thing I want from my friends would be a display of affection!

Each to their own. My comment was more about living in a society or environment where people _can_ do so can only be a good thing. Whether they actually do or not is a different issue.

But if people who _want_ to express mutual affection in such ways _can_ do so without fear of social or verbal reprisal - then that can only be a good thing. And maybe more people who make sure they are vocal as they screech and moan about things like people merely holding hands after a meal in a restaurant will increasingly find their husbands or wives leaving them. And I will not be the first in line to feel sorry for them.

A Battered Mars Bar wrote: »

Lads I'm well aware that some Europeans do a hug and peck on the cheek thing. Looks odd to us but we know its normal for them and fine. But they dont hold each other and cuddle while they're walking around.

Quite often they do - I have seen what the OP describes quite often. Especially France Germany and Italy.

I have also travelled recently enough in areas that have taken in a lot of refugees from Syria and they are the same only more so from what I have observed.

Morpheus · 11-01-2017 02:54PM

fixXxer · 11-01-2017 02:57PM

foggy_lad wrote: »

Years ago this would have been seen as perfectly normal behaviour for even the roughest toughest of young lads. then the whole gay thing became an issue and lads refrained from any behaviour that might lead to them being targeted by others. Thankfully it is on the way back!

True. Interesting piece on it here: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/07/29/bosom-buddies-a-photo-history-of-male-affection/

Hercule Poirot · 11-01-2017 03:01PM

I think it's great that young men feel able to express their affection for each other, because that's what friendship is: a mutual feeling of care and respect - is it no different to group of older men getting all emotional and expressing their love for each other after a few beers? The only difference is that these young lads are confident enough to publicly express their friendship.

This, while not something I'd do myself, is a good thing and a pointer that there's still hope for society; not attacking you directly OP, you were only making an observation, but I don't think anyone should have a problem with this.

kylith · 11-01-2017 03:01PM

OMG, young men are comfortable showing affection! The world is ending!

It's common for men to hold hands with their friends in parts of the middle east, Asia, and Africa. Don't sweat it, OP.