Would you ever consider being an Undertaker?

DEFTLEFTHAND · 07-01-2017 01:32PM

judeboy101 wrote: »

Grave digging is way more lucrative. Cash in hand business, 5hrs to dig 2 to fill two man team pulling 400 per job minimum. A goid flu season and you can clear 2k a week easy

They have a tradition in our small town where you give the gravediggers whiskey up at the house. No charge is layed upon the bereaved family.

We'll all do it for each other when the occasion arises

Conor Bourke · 07-01-2017 01:37PM

Graces7 wrote: »

I remember decades ago when the undertaker for my Mum was driving me to see her ; when I identified her they had made no attempt to hide the terrible head injury and it was really upsetting me.. I asked how he could do that job and he said it was a vocation.

If you were formally identifying your mum's remains to the police/guards, there was unfortunately nothing that could be done to disguise the wound if a post mortem was going to be carried out. If the undertakers were bringing you to see her laid out after all the formalities and they still hadn't done anything, that's a different story.

I work in end of life care but an undertakers life wouldn't be for me. As was pointed out, I know well how difficult for them to get paid for their work and they're entrenched in every aspect of death- all the grizzly and gruesome bits of crime, accidents, etc. Nah thanks.

Dr Crayfish · 07-01-2017 01:37PM

Much respect to undertakers, a noble trade. I can't see how you'd get into it or be comfortable with it if you weren't born into it though.

Rubberlegs · 07-01-2017 01:39PM

As a child I always wanted to work in a funeral home, I always thought it would be a very peaceful job. I still would like the element of helping families through the funeral arrangements etc though I would have to draw the line at embalming, I doubt I would have the stomach for it. The undertaker who looked after my Dad couldn't have been more professional. It's a family business, I remember his father and grandfather before him, and his wife is the enbalmer. As professional as he was he cracked jokes and told us funny stories from other funerals. He brightened up what was a really tough time, and I will still remember something he said the odd time and smile. I have a lot of respect for what they do, it can't be easy at times.

Graces7 · 07-01-2017 01:40PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

They have a tradition in our small town where you give the gravediggers whiskey up at the house. No charge is layed upon the bereaved family.

We'll all do it for each other when the occasion arises

May such supportive traditions last forever

/ Like when my mother was killed and all the houses in the avenue closed their curtains to show respect.

CarrickMcJoe · 07-01-2017 01:48PM

Got to know an undertaker and said once, you must be owed thousands?
Her reply was, try tens of thousands!

It's also a 365 days a year job and 24 hrs on call. Burying children will always have some affect too.

FTA69 · 07-01-2017 01:51PM

Lad I worked with on site used to be one, apparently they have to go in and remove the body from wherever it lay after the cops etc have ascertained what happened. He told me once they were called out to remove a poor man who had hanged himself from a stairs. He told the youngfella with him to hold the corpse while he cut it down. As he cut the rope, apparently the body doubled over on top of the young lad and sort of gawked or expelled it's stomach contents all over him due to gas build up.

It was honestly one of the most disturbing stories I've heard, you'd want to be made of certain stuff for that lark.

Streppy · 07-01-2017 01:59PM

My cousin is an undertaker with his wife's family business. He has some brilliant stories to tell but one always stuck in my mind.

An 18 year lad hung himself about three years ago, typical suicide in rural Ireland. The deceased's girlfriend went to see him in the mortuary one day with the dead's phone in her hand, she proceeded to pick up the dead's hand and unlocked the phone via it thumb print recognition system. My cousin and his father-in-law were absolutely shocked.

The Backwards Man · 07-01-2017 02:02PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I thought they usually get paid by the deceased's solicitor from their estate. When the will goes to Probate.

Doesn't always work like that though, you can't only bury the people that have their affairs in order

Capt'n Midnight · 07-01-2017 02:03PM

Sonics2k wrote: »

Yeah I seriously considered it for years as a career and still do now and then, but it seems to be a fairly hard career to get into as it's usually a family run business.

Then again, it is a job for life.

or death

DEFTLEFTHAND · 07-01-2017 02:05PM

They witness some bad scenes alright I'd imagine. Having to deal with bodies which were dead for weeks for instance, that must be really nasty.

I was talking to one of the gravediggers and he told me that he often came across coffins while digging a plot for a double grave.

Now days apparently they cement over the 12ft at the 6ft mark on a family plot.

Once the shovel hits the cement they know they've reached their target.

Capt'n Midnight · 07-01-2017 02:07PM

sadie06 wrote: »

I watched a documentary on Undertaking behind the scenes. It's incredibly difficult to get into. A fairly long apprenticeship required to learn the ropes fully, and then massive expense if you are starting a business from scratch..

The cars required are hugely expensive even second hand, and it would also take years to build up a reputation.

It is lucrative though, but tough work.

That's what they want you to think.

Take a look at this documentary series which lets you into many of the industry secrets.

http://www.tg4.ie/en/player/home/?pid=5086998059001

Charlie and Vincie get a grant from the Údarás to build a crematorium.

_Brian · 07-01-2017 02:14PM

ChikiChiki wrote: »

Seems like a well paid stress free job.

Stress free me hole.
If you talk to an undertaker for a while you'll realise its fate from stress and problem free. Have you ever been in a house where the corpse starts to oozes fluids, some stress there.
How about exhumation, lifting a 10 year dead lad and reboximg him for DNA tests.

It's like a lot of jobs, from a distance it looks grand, but scratch the surface and it's no way easy.

At €90k a year for a family business, so that's maybe two houses to fed from it. Now your doing it for €45k a year !!

Not for double that would I do it.

infogiver · 07-01-2017 02:20PM

kylith wrote: »

That's a better way to go about it. Even €800 is a shocking amount of money.

I think it was Penn & Teller who did an expose on undertakers in the US, and they push grieving families to spend thousands on a coffin by guilting them with 'Granny deserves the very best'.

It is a business all the same, not a charity.
I stood by while my sister in law picked a coffin from a catalogue for my mother in law.
The first 2 coffins, the cheapest, she rejected because the colour didn't match the decor in the living room where the remains were going to be reposing, or the flowers she had ordered.
I'm not making this up.
Afterwards when perusing the undertakers bill, my father in law remarked that he would recommend to any other grieving family that the least grief stricken family member should be assigned the making of the arrangements with little or no input from anyone else.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 07-01-2017 02:22PM

Some people here said its an incredibly hard job to get into to, maybe that's a country thing. But I train with two undertakers and they're always offering me part time work.

Tbh I couldn't do it. I'm one of those people who stand against the wall in a funeral room and view the deceased from across the room!.

I've another mate who is a mortuary technician, he got into it after working as security in the hospital (a major Dublin hospital). He replied to a job advertisement, and now he cuts up people for a living.

I met him in Templebar when he was out for a works Christmas drinks and a lad I worked with years ago is in training with him, like my mate he got in through the job being advertised.

They all say the work is handy enough, although the mortuary techi mate says fat people can be very hard work.

The undertakers told me at first I'd just being taking the coffins in and out of the home, into and out of the church etc and working with the bodies would follow naturally. But they also say they've a high staff turn over because its not a job for everyone and that's why they're always looking for new staff.

So I'd say in Dublin, if you're interested apply to a funeral home for part time work and take it from there.

judeboy101 · 07-01-2017 02:23PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

They have a tradition in our small town where you give the gravediggers whiskey up at the house. No charge is layed upon the bereaved family.

We'll all do it for each other when the occasion arises

Most undertakers like to use gravediggers they can depend on to dig a proper grave that wont collapse and will look tidy. The amount of uncle joes and cousin michaels who cant build a box for the dirt or line a grave.

infogiver · 07-01-2017 02:29PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

They're on the ball though these guys. We were given exact times for everything.

The coffin was closed and sealed in the house at 6.25 for the removal. Lifted into the hearse and driven down to the church for exactly 7pm. I checked my phone as we were pulling in. They arrived on the second.

A scenario had arisen over the years where the "arrangements" were not even loosely being adhered to
Callers kept calling to the house and the closing of the coffin was delayed by up to 2 hours or more
Meanwhile a priest, alterservers and yet more mourners were waiting in a church for the reception of the remains
In the end it was decided between the church and the undertakers that a firmer approach be taken and that has worked out fine.

indioblack · 07-01-2017 02:47PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

There is actually decent money to be made in it. It doesn't require a four degree or anything.

We'd a death in our family recently and I got talking the two guys when they brought the coffin home. They were a father and son operation. I'd be like this now but I asked them and they told me that they made €90,000 profit in 2015. This is a small operation in a small town.

Can you imagine the money the big firms in the big towns and cities are making?

The small town I live in has one undertaker.
He's always smiling - always.
It's unnerving.

LynnGrace · 07-01-2017 03:01PM

No, it would not be a job for me. I have great respect for those who do it. As other posters have alluded to, and in my experience too, their professionalism and kindness is so important to a grieving family.

Hammer89 · 07-01-2017 03:15PM

I would but I can't roll my heads up into my head.

sadie06 · 07-01-2017 03:39PM

Jaden Lazy Billiards wrote: »

Some people here said its an incredibly hard job to get into to, maybe that's a country thing. But I train with two undertakers and they're always offering me part time work.

I meant to set up in business. Easy enough to get working for someone else I'm sure.

I don't know how anyone can say it's an easy job. It's 365 days a year (as others have said), requires a high degree of emotional sensitivity, impeccable organisational skills and (if you are doing it right) instantaneous problem solving abilities. Due to the nature of my job I attend a lot of funerals and watch with interest. I recently witnessed an undertaker have a word with a disinterested priest about the sound system not working at a funeral. When the priest shook his head, the guy left the church and returned 5 mins later with a mic and amp. I was so impressed. A good undertaker wants the whole experience to be as stress free as it possibly can be for a family, and this guy wasn't going to let the eulogy go unheard.

On the subject of billing and payment, we recently buried a loved one. The bill (pushing €7,000 - and we made modest choices) arrived a month later, with immediate payment politely advised. That bill included absolutely everything, as undertakers pay the church, singer, gravedigger, etc. We had a small life assurance sum and a credit union payout to cover it, but since the abolishment of the death grant, I'm sure outstanding debts have risen considerably.

I once helped an elderly neighbour communicate with a well known undertaking firm. When his wife died, her nephew (their only living relative between them) swanned in from England, made very expensive choices on his behalf, and swanned off again after the funeral leaving my dazed and confused neighbour with a very large bill. I had to explain to the business owner that the couple hadn't a pot to p*ss in.

In fairness, he took it well. I gave him the nephew's number, told him the neighbour was awaiting the death grant and the matter was resolved somehow. They must get it all the time!

PTH2009 · 07-01-2017 03:51PM

id consider it if i was offered the job but id go more for the coffin lifting, working on arragements/transport side of it than the actually science bit of it eg embaming etc

heard a few horror stories of funeral services where in the graveyard the wind was so strong that the coffin slide off the wooden sticks on the gravesite and the top came off :eek::eek:. At my nannys funeral a few years back the guy carrying the coffin onto the wooden before they lower the coffin into the grave lost his footing but thankfully he had the strenght to hold himself and the coffin up

I would hate the thought of working at Kids and younger peoples funerals

Here at home in Waterford one of the main undertakers is a part of a cabaret group and often sponsors entertainment events and he be up on the dance floor all night. Thats hes way of releasing the stress of his profession

wandatowell · 07-01-2017 03:54PM

Miserable job I'd say. Boring to boot. You'd never have a quite few days as pricks be dropping all the time.

sadie06 · 07-01-2017 03:58PM

wandatowell wrote: »

Miserable job I'd say. Boring to boot. You'd never have a quite few days as pricks be dropping all the time.

Really? Can't see how.

corner of hells · 07-01-2017 04:46PM

An uncle of used drive a hearse part time for a small family owned undertakers in a small town years ago , he was also a self employed mechanic and used to service the hearse and the two limousines belonging to the business.

His time came suddenly and he passed away unexpectedly with the funeral directors agreeing to waive most of thier bill for his family.

As the hearse with his remains on-board made its way to the cemetery it broke down apparently after he had serviced it.

So not only did the funeral directors agree to his removal to be done in the cheap , the also had to pay to get thier car repaired after paying him already to service the car.

B.A._Baracus · 07-01-2017 04:57PM

I wouldn't do it.
Not out of any fear or what not. It's just that it can't be good on the ol' brain box after a while.

As another said the horrors you would see. Kids dying, people burned or other terrible things. Would take a certain sort to not be bothered at all by that.

Then there is the whole ripping people off with the price of funerals. Again you'd have to be of a certain sort to try and upsell a grieving person.

cajonlardo · 07-01-2017 05:47PM

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

Got to know an undertaker and said once, you must be owed thousands?
Her reply was, try tens of thousands! .

Here is a strange one for you. Day after my Grandmother was buried my father walked into the undertakers with cash to pay. He was sent away with the money and told to come back "when everything has settled down"

I haven't a clue but I reckon it was a case of them knowing they would get the cash but being genuinely decent people didn't want to see my Father stuck until affairs were sorted.

tomwaterford · 07-01-2017 05:51PM

9or10 wrote: »

I would think it has its moments.

Kids funerals must be horrendous. It's not always poor old uncle Billy.

Afaik it's a sort of unwritten rule they don't take anything/bare minimum for kids Funerals

Beasty · 07-01-2017 06:29PM

Dammit! Thought this was going to be a thread on motorway driving. Wouldn't have clicked if I'd realised it was going to be so gloomy (I'm already steering clear of the "getting old" thread)

:pac:

LordSutch · 07-01-2017 06:36PM

Too much death and tears connected to it. Dressing bodies, combing their hair etc etc. No no no, sorry but I just couldn't do it.

Would you ever consider being an Undertaker?

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