Attracted to a younger girl.

Hector Bellend · 31-12-2016 6:02pm #1

I have something of a personal dilemma.

I'm in my late thirties and am currently single. In short I have found myself really attracted to a neighbour who is considerably younger than me. She's only 19. Nothing has happened but if I'm being absolutely honest I'd have no hesitation in sleeping with this girl if the opportunity were to present itself.

I hate to be so blunt but there's no point sugar coating it. I'm sexually attracted to a girl who is half my age.

I understand that this may appear somewhat questionable. I'm perfectly aware this is utterly inappropriate but as I've said earlier i'm not sure I'd find it so easy to turn around and walk away of the opportunity were to present itself

jon1981 · 31-12-2016 6:06pm

If you're username is an accurate description of yourself i think it's safe to say the opportunity won't present itself... so no need to worry.

ibarelycare · 31-12-2016 6:10pm

Realistically, is the opportunity going to present itself? You've given no indication in your post that you even speak to the girl. It's highly unlikely this will happen, given she's half your age. It's a fantasy, it's not wrong (she's an adult), but do not let it fester and turn into an obsession. Focus your attention elsewhere and move on.

cookiexx · 31-12-2016 6:14pm

Not many 19 year olds going to be attracted to 30-something men unless you are George Clooney or some sort of local celebrity. At 19 30-something is positively ancient and off your radar if you're a gorgeous young woman who gets lots of attention.

Move on is your best bet, it'll never be more than a fantasy

sadie1502 · 31-12-2016 6:19pm

What would you have in common ? I'd say move on to be honest. How would you even be in her company ?

Wesser · 31-12-2016 6:27pm

What is your question?

cbyrd · 31-12-2016 8:02pm

Hector Bellend wrote:

I hate to be so blunt but there's no point sugar coating it. I'm sexually attracted to a girl who is half my age.

It's not that outrageous! When I was 19 I dated a 38 year old for almost a year, he was Australian and a musician. I come from a very musical family so we had that in common. He was very good to me and we had great fun. He was a young soul.
I missed him terribly when he went back to Australia, but the memories were worth it, he took me to Switzerland and Iceland as he was booked to gig in these places.
Fun times.
If you have something in common and she's attracted to you, I don't see any reason why not. At that age, boys aren't as mature as girls and there's an attraction in that alone.
I wouldn't overthink it. As long as you Are both after the same thing

Dr Crayfish · 01-01-2017 5:28pm

I wonder why a 19 year old would want to sleep with an exotic Australian musician who brings her to gigs in Iceland and Switzerland...
Anyway OP, what's the question here? I would love to bang a load of 19 year old hotties and I'm 36, but I'm not going to start a thread about it.

01-01-2017 5:33pm

I mean... she's of legal age.

The fact that she's a neighbour would be of a bigger concern to me, given that you're realistically going to see her often.

GingerLily · 01-01-2017 5:47pm

Hector Bellend wrote: »

I have something of a personal dilemma.

I'm in my late thirties and am currently single. In short I have found myself really attracted to a neighbour who is considerably younger than me. She's only 19. Nothing has happened but if I'm being absolutely honest I'd have no hesitation in sleeping with this girl if the opportunity were to present itself.

I hate to be so blunt but there's no point sugar coating it. I'm sexually attracted to a girl who is half my age.

I understand that this may appear somewhat questionable. I'm perfectly aware this is utterly inappropriate but as I've said earlier i'm not sure I'd find it so easy to turn around and walk away of the opportunity were to present itself

I don't think it's a great idea to bang your 19 year old neighbour, I can imagine that if it happened and word got around it wouldn't look favourably on you.

It would be different if you were interested in getting to know her, having a relationship with her etc

Dr Crayfish · 01-01-2017 6:11pm

GingerLily wrote: »

I don't think it's a great idea to bang your 19 year old neighbour, I can imagine that if it happened and word got around it wouldn't look favourably on you.

It would be different if you were interested in getting to know her, having a relationship with her etc

Have you tried talking to a teenager lately? You may as well be speaking a different language

Heat_Wave · 01-01-2017 6:19pm

This thread is so funny. Sorry mods I know it's a PI but LOL.

OP, have you even spoken to this teenager?

Permabear · 01-01-2017 6:38pm

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GingerLily · 01-01-2017 6:39pm

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

Have you tried talking to a teenager lately? You may as well be speaking a different language

That's besides the point really, I don't think it's a good Idea to shag a teenage neighbour half your age, don't **** where you eat kinda thing.

bmwguy · 01-01-2017 6:57pm

Go for it, talk to her first try to strike up a conversation see how she reacts. If you think there is anything there going by how she engages, have a go at asking her out.

Guffy · 01-01-2017 6:59pm

Ha the snapper.... great movie

ArKl0w · 01-01-2017 7:01pm

My Gran was 19 when she married my then 51 yr old Grandfather
They had 8 kids,one of which is my Father
Had that relationship not bloomed I would not be hear to advise you to go for it

judeboy101 · 01-01-2017 7:04pm

Half your age plus 7

Airyfairy12 · 01-01-2017 8:53pm

I dont think you need to worry about the opportunity presenting itself... it wont.

Airyfairy12 · 01-01-2017 8:54pm

ArKl0w wrote: »

My Gran was 19 when she married my then 51 yr old Grandfather
They had 8 kids,one of which is my Father
Had that relationship not bloomed I would not be hear to advise you to go for it

Those were different times. Lots of unfortunate things were acceptable back then.

ArKl0w · 01-01-2017 8:57pm

judeboy101 wrote: »

Half your age plus 7

What great Sage invented that rule,someone on the internet?
Here's a better rule : Two people get on- Great

Emme · 01-01-2017 9:14pm

OP you don't say you've spoken to the girl or that you have anything in common with her. All you're saying is that you want to sleep with her. For all you know she could have a boyfriend or even be gay! I would advise you to forget about her. If she lives with her parents and you stick your head over the fence asking her for a sh@g her dad might well get out the shotgun and blow your head off!

ArKl0w · 01-01-2017 9:21pm

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Those were different times. Lots of unfortunate things were acceptable back then.

Nonsense ,That abject subjectivity!
My Grandparents were very happy!!

Think the Op is after just Sex though in which case I would suggest not going for it on the basis that the fantasy is probably better than the reality
Get it elsewhere

J Mysterio · 01-01-2017 10:03pm

The girl next door.

Permabear · 01-01-2017 10:57pm

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dev100 · 01-01-2017 10:59pm

There's no harm in looking and dreaming as they say . You may be interested in her but more than likely she ain't even given you a first or a second glance and let's be honest any red blooded man would find a pretty 19 yr attractive but unless you are somewhat of a ladies man you won't be going there .

Surely you can find a few women in their 20s or late 20s to do the deed with ?

Airyfairy12 · 02-01-2017 4:13am

Permabear wrote: »

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I very much doubt the OP is looking for her hand in marriage.

J Mysterio · 02-01-2017 4:28am

:pac:

dar100 · 03-01-2017 2:51pm

go for it, you'll regret it otherwise

eviltwin · 03-01-2017 3:02pm

How well do you know this girl? Have you spoken to her before, do you get along with her, how is she with you?

Be careful, you're not doing anything wrong and are perfectly entitled to ask her out but you still have to live there. A 19 yr old might feel a bit intimidated by an older neighbour chatting them up.

Personally I'd be inclined to leave it unless you feel you know her well enough that she won't be freaked out by it. She may be an adult but she's still only 19 and some are still more like children at that age.

Emme · 03-01-2017 3:08pm

Seriously when I was a 19 year old girl I would have felt seriously creeped out if a 39 year old neighbour asked me on a date. Ireland is a different place now from the 1990s but older men have always been interested in young girls. OP get to know the girl first and you will find out if she might be interested. She probably won't, most 19 year old girls are interested in guys nearer their own age.

Permabear · 03-01-2017 3:20pm

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wylo · 03-01-2017 3:31pm

Permabear wrote: »

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Tbf I think most girls would be creeped out at that age if asked out by a guy in his late 30s, unless of course they had a genuine rapport built up and there was some kind of buzz between them.

GingerLily · 03-01-2017 3:37pm

Permabear wrote: »

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Most may be, but certainly not all. E.g., my own girlfriend thinks that most guys her age are hopelessly immature and irresponsible, and that the dating scene for young women today is soul-destroying. I'm sure she's not alone in that opinion. There's also a logical fallacy in "when I was a 19 year old girl I would have felt seriously creeped out if a 39 year old neighbour asked me on a date." You might have felt that way, but you can't presume to know how someone else will react.[/quote]

The OP has not said he wants to ask her out on a date or know more about her, he just wants to bang her!

Permabear · 03-01-2017 3:52pm

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Lex Luthor · 03-01-2017 5:35pm

She's too young for anything long term

General rule - Divide your age by 2 and add 7. If she's younger than that, she's too young

trishasaffron · 03-01-2017 5:39pm

My uncle & wife are happily married....34 year age difference.

A friend married when she was 48.....he was 78...10 happy years til he got dementia.

PressRun · 03-01-2017 6:27pm

Have you ever spoken to this person? How do you know she's 19? Are her parents your neighbours too?

Tbh, I highly doubt you've crossed her mind. Most people that age are interested in people their own age - people they're in college with, go on nights out with, etc. For all you know, she might already have a lad on the go.

In any case, despite some exceptions, I do think most 19 year old girls would be creeped out by the advances of a man pushing 40. Just because something is technically "legal" doesn't mean that it's ethically right. She might be 19 (or is she?), but emotionally could be a lot younger. You don't seem to know her at all, so who's to say what her maturity level is?

Anyway. I'm not even sure what your question is.

clairewithani · 03-01-2017 6:40pm

Some thoughts OP.

Of course you are attracted to a stunner. She is young, attractive and lively. But someone else said it already. The fact she is your neighbour makes it a no. Whatever about a young woman being attracted to a much older man, i think she would feel an older neighbour looking at her in that way would be creepy.

And the people who are talking about someone 48 marrying someone in their 70's different thing. Two mature people who have lots of life experience would be totally different. Some young one who has just left school will have different priorities and outlook to you.

All in all i would think no. Some other 19 year old maybe. A neighbour, no.

Permabear · 03-01-2017 6:43pm

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PressRun · 03-01-2017 7:05pm

Permabear wrote: »

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Good for you. You don't need to justify your relationship to me. My point wasn't about relationships like yours. You know your girlfriend so you know what she's like and that she's happy and prepared to be in a relationship with someone much older. That doesn't mean that every 19/20 year old is prepared to be in that kind of relationship and I think it's fair to advise someone to tread carefully in such situations, especially if you don't even know the person, as the OP doesn't seem to in this case. Is it always ethically wrong to pursue a sexual relationship with someone much younger? No, of course not. But it isn't always ethically right either, regardless of whether it's legal, and I would imagine that the number of 19 years olds (many of them fresh out of school, possibly still living at home or living away from their parents for the very first time) who are emotionally mature enough to enter a relationship with someone much older is far less than those who aren't. In any case, does he even know that she's actually 19?

Permabear · 03-01-2017 7:30pm

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dar100 · 03-01-2017 9:01pm

Permabear wrote: »

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More of a generalisation tbf

SATSUMA · 04-01-2017 12:32am

She's a teenager- back off.

GingerLily · 04-01-2017 1:08am

SATSUMA wrote: »

She's a teenager- back off.

And your neighbour!!!

Icelandicseige · 04-01-2017 1:20am

GingerLily wrote: »

And your neighbour!!!

Imagine having a daughter of 19 and comes in the door with her new boyfriend of 30 something emm I don't think it would boud well with a lot of us!
I personally would show him the door!

tomthetank · 04-01-2017 2:19am

When I was that age I had a female friend who was dating a 25 year old and we thought he was completely ancient! Finished college and all!

Yeah there'll be a few exceptions to the rule but by and large most 19 year olds are discovering guys and dating and relationships for the first time, just out of school and fresh on the road to independence and meeting all kinds of guys who are interested in them and are certainly not shy of male attention. 39 is like your Dad's age when you're that age, not someone you'd be looking at or considering sexually at all.

Neyite · 04-01-2017 12:46pm

Mod:

Time to close this, methinks.

Attracted to a younger girl.

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