Things that are the talk of the parish

Widdershins · 26-12-2016 08:42PM

infogiver wrote: »

This always makes me smile
This is how city folk imagine it is down the country
In actual fact country folk are sitting in 2000 sq ft dormer bungalows with all the latest gadgets looking out the windows at 126 BMWs and if they ever think of city folk, and they don't, they snigger

Dormer bungalows are so 2008. It's more like mansions now.

Stealthfins · 26-12-2016 09:00PM

Widdershins wrote:

Dormer bungalows are so 2008. It's more like mansions now.

And only the light in their fridge...

There's plenty of poor rich people who are up sht creek.
Materialistically they look really dapper,but they're winging it.

I remember being at a wedding in Dromoland castle and got talking to a chap in his late 30's
I said Jack you're doing very well,big car,nice looking finance,posh house in the city,you're business is very successful etc...

His engineer's are earning more than him,his overhead s have him crippled.

He turned around and said he'd much prefer my lifestyle of gardening surfing hill walking and talking ****e on boards.ie , his is boring, soulless and fake.
I said can you not just let it all go and start afresh...No Jack said " I've made my bed now I have to lie in it"

So when you see those people in nice cars, wearing dapper clothes and looking sad and miserable....

Think of Jack

pablo128 · 26-12-2016 09:10PM

infogiver wrote: »

..... looking out the windows at 126 BMWs and if they ever think of city folk, and they don't, they snigger

Well lah de dah, and us sitting here and only 2 Toyotas, ......

The farm grant has to be spent some way in fairness.

26-12-2016 09:36PM

Christmas has made people perculer

The_Valeyard · 26-12-2016 09:38PM

vbnm wrote: »

'Did you hear the youngest Murphy boy is gone off to England like his brothers. I don't know what he'd be wanting over there at all at all. Sure with his poor mother down the hospital and all, she has an a n'awful trial with them boys. There's talk of the sister wanting the farum now, but sure Mick is having none of it. Oh they have a terrible time of it, Mr and Mrs Murphy.'

'Era they do.'

Dandyeleven???

Titzon Toast · 26-12-2016 09:44PM

infogiver wrote: »

This always makes me smile
This is how city folk imagine it is down the country
In actual fact country folk are sitting in 2000 sq ft dormer bungalows with all the latest gadgets looking out the windows at 126 BMWs and if they ever think of city folk, and they don't, they snigger

Triggered?

Your Face · 26-12-2016 09:45PM

"Should we say something about the child abuse going on in the industrial schools?'
'No lets just ignore it and hope it goes away'

infogiver · 26-12-2016 10:08PM

Your Face wrote: »

"Should we say something about the child abuse going on in the industrial schools?'
'No lets just ignore it and hope it goes away'

Or those unfortunate girls in the convent laundry, or the Ryan children whose father likes a drink, coming to school every day black and blue and half starved or Mrs Ryan who keeps walking into walls and getting a black eye she's so clumsy.....
But say it to whom? That's what I want to know. Who could anyone have reported it too?

myshirt · 26-12-2016 10:13PM

Sher that fella, don't mind him, he's sweating like a Kerry farmer with a Revenue inspection coming up!

Berserker · 26-12-2016 10:17PM

infogiver wrote: »

In actual fact country folk are sitting in 2000 sq ft dormer bungalows with all the latest gadgets looking out the windows at 126 BMWs and if they ever think of city folk, and they don't, they snigger

Oh, we know that the country folk are all loaded, with millions of Euro and Punts stuffed under their mattresses, living in a mini-mansion on the family farm in Ballyma-whatever, with an investment property that they rent out to students or young professionals in Dublin and a holiday home in Budapest or Sofia, whilst they claim that they only earn €10K or so per annum. Shame that we all can't work for cash in hand!!

Cee-Jay-Cee · 26-12-2016 10:20PM

tayto lover wrote: »

Heard that, and she doesn't seem to know who the father is .... but shure if you run through a field of nettles how do you know which one stung you.

Her sister was as bad and look at her now, it's like a home for the bewildered up there with 8 or 9 scabby wains running around with barely a stitch of clothing on them, it's not right, ya know!

Sam Kade · 26-12-2016 10:21PM

sjb25 wrote: »

Heard sharon curley's pregnant

A Spanish sailor I heard

With a langer like a donkey.

Sam Kade · 26-12-2016 10:26PM

The flying mouse wrote: »

There's a guy who works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis...

But he's a liar and I'm not sure about you.

pauliebdub · 26-12-2016 10:43PM

Moany begrudging gossip about one of the neighbours going to Florida for two weeks over Christmas - where did they get the money for that - abandoning their wider family at Christmas.

Gossip about another neighbours middle aged ex wife being seen in a nightclub drinking on her own and wearing a very tarty frock.

Gossip about who came back from England Australia America - he's gone off with a fella! She's dating a black fella!!! and moaning about who never bothered and their poor parents spending Christmas without then.

Glad I no longer live there.

Anesthetize · 26-12-2016 10:44PM

What's a parish?

Widdershins · 26-12-2016 10:50PM

Stealthfins wrote: »

And only the light in their fridge...

There's plenty of poor rich people who are up sht creek.
Materialistically they look really dapper,but they're winging it.

I remember being at a wedding in Dromoland castle and got talking to a chap in his late 30's
I said Jack you're doing very well,big car,nice looking finance,posh house in the city,you're business is very successful etc...

His engineer's are earning more than him,his overhead s have him crippled.

He turned around and said he'd much prefer my lifestyle of gardening surfing hill walking and talking ****e on boards.ie , his is boring, soulless and fake.
I said can you not just let it all go and start afresh...No Jack said " I've made my bed now I have to lie in it"

So when you see those people in nice cars, wearing dapper clothes and looking sad and miserable....

Think of Jack

The negative equity and the rest of it hasn't passed me by, I am aware. I wasn't passing judgement on the style or size of house, just pointing out that they tend to be bigger than dormer bungalows now.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 26-12-2016 10:55PM

Anesthetize wrote: »

What's a parish?

According to the OED

parish

noun

1
(in the Christian Church) a small administrative district typically having its own church and a priest or pastor:
[as modifier] ‘a parish church’

1.1British The smallest unit of local government, constituted only in rural areas:
[as modifier] ‘a parish councillor’

1.2US (in Louisiana) a territorial division corresponding to a county in other states.

So take your pick.

26-12-2016 11:44PM

infogiver wrote: »

This always makes me smile
This is how city folk imagine it is down the country
In actual fact country folk are sitting in 2000 sq ft dormer bungalows with all the latest gadgets looking out the windows at 126 BMWs and if they ever think of city folk, and they don't, they snigger

Ah shure, look at Paddy he's got himself a new Lamborghini.

Annasopra · 26-12-2016 11:46PM

The flying mouse wrote: »

There's a guy who works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis...

He is

infogiver · 27-12-2016 01:00AM

The flying mouse wrote: »

There's a guy who works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis...

...just like you swore to me that you'd be true...

Widdershins · 27-12-2016 02:43AM

An actual quote from a friend about another friend: ''Look at Mary driving a 00 Mondeo. SOMEONE'S gone down in the world''

tomwaterford · 27-12-2016 02:54AM

Widdershins wrote: »

An actual quote from a friend about another friend: ''Look at Mary driving a 00 Mondeo. SOMEONE'S gone down in the world''

Depends what she's gone down on

bazz26 · 27-12-2016 03:08AM

This thread reminds me of the Craggy Island gossipers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zkL91LzCMc

Surreptitious · 27-12-2016 03:13AM

Did you know she lives in a council house, has a huge flat screen TV that takes up the whole living room and she has a fella living with her that works and a car outside the door. She probably claims single parent benefit. It's a fcking joke while the rest of us are here struggling. You'd always see him coming and going there with work clothes on him. (Oh the cheek of him to wear work clothes!)

An actual quote from someone.

Widdershins · 27-12-2016 03:14AM

Surreptitious wrote: »

Did you know she lives in a council house, has a huge flat screen TV that takes up the whole living room and she has a fella living with her that works and a car outside the door. She probably claims single parent benefit. It's a fcking joke while the rest of us are here struggling. You'd always see him coming and going there with work clothes on him. (Oh the cheek of him to wear work clothes!)

An actual quote from someone.

Feckin Dingle mothers

DEFTLEFTHAND · 27-12-2016 03:20AM

I love our Church and every Parish. We're the One True Faith guys.

Jesus Christ instructed St Peter to found our Church in Rome before his execution.

Surreptitious · 27-12-2016 03:20AM

Did you know he had nothing before he met her? She is very well off but nobody knows their family secret I think she's embarrassed by it. Sure he only had a shi*t job, some joke he is. And his mother is always boasting about him, stuck up sh*t. Did you know he cut me dead in town there one day, who does he think he is and when his mother came around, I said I'm not talking to her, she won't even buy her own paper but comes here to read ours. And have you seen the state of x, all she does is eat but the sons are very good to her not like that other stuck up little sh*t. She still thinks she's married, sure her husband was sleeping with that whore across town, she lives in a dream world.

My book will be out soon folks.

Atari Jaguar · 27-12-2016 04:14AM

Surreptitious wrote: »

Did you know he had nothing before he met her? She is very well off but nobody knows their family secret I think she's embarrassed by it. Sure he only had a shi*t job, some joke he is. And his mother is always boasting about him, stuck up sh*t. Did you know he cut me dead in town there one day, who does he think he is and when his mother came around, I said I'm not talking to her, she won't even buy her own paper but comes here to read ours. And have you seen the state of x, all she does is eat but the sons are very good to her not like that other stuck up little sh*t. She still thinks she's married, sure her husband was sleeping with that whore across town, she lives in a dream world.

My book will be out soon folks.

Parish gossip - a novel

Ferrari3600 · 27-12-2016 04:26AM

vbnm wrote: »

And sure wasn't it only one of them black fellas from the city she was off with. Her poor mother'd be turning in her grave, god rest her.

Sure the mother was worse! What about that operation she had in England, who do ya think paid for it? But now I'd best not be talkin', it was a long time ago.

Ferrari3600 · 27-12-2016 04:32AM

Surreptitious wrote: »

Did you know she lives in a council house, has a huge flat screen TV that takes up the whole living room and she has a fella living with her that works and a car outside the door. She probably claims single parent benefit. It's a fcking joke while the rest of us are here struggling. You'd always see him coming and going there with work clothes on him. (Oh the cheek of him to wear work clothes!)

An actual quote from someone.

It's a absolute disgrace. He should be at home looking after the baby. He ought to know better at his age but he came from the wrong part of town, his family were as bad.

And her at home claiming the benefit and the car outside the door. At her age! She should be at home looking after the baby and not off gallivanting around off in her posh fancy new-fangled 'car'.

I hear they even brought in a black man to fix the radiator. A black man? Can you believe it!! Sure what would a black man be doing working here anyway, he should be at home in Nigeria looking after his own babies and not taking our jobs in our country they are as bad those Islamic gays that they have now with their 'so-called' 'marriage'. I blame Enda Kenny/Gerry Adams/Andrea Merckle/the Joos/the gays/the blacks (delete as applicable).

Things that are the talk of the parish

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