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Christmas Tips

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2

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    #32
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    super_furry wrote: »
    Do bin men still come knocking on the door with their hand out in December?

    If they tried that with me they'd be getting a dirty nappy handed to them for being so cheeky.


    And I don't have kids...


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    #33
    BENDYBINN
    Registered Users Posts: 1,829 ✭✭✭BENDYBINN


    Temptamperu wrote: »
    The bin man can whistle for a tip. He gets paid weekly.

    Very weakly


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    #34
    nice_guy80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,723 ✭✭✭nice_guy80


    JohnCleary wrote: »
    Christmas tip? Sure..... GET OUT!

    Getting on a plane to SE Asia on Thursday and not returning to Ireland until Jan 8th.

    I get to avoid the whole thing, it's great (been doing this for 5 years).

    I floated this idea for the last three years, but she's said no

    next year i'm just booking the tickets


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    #35
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    nice_guy80 wrote: »
    I floated this idea for the last three years, but she's said no

    next year i'm just booking the tickets

    Are you going to bring her?


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    #36
    nice_guy80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,723 ✭✭✭nice_guy80


    gramar wrote: »
    Are you going to bring her?

    maybe

    a seat for my ereader would be handy


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    #37
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    nice_guy80 wrote: »
    maybe

    a seat for my ereader would be handy

    I could hold it for you.


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    #38
    nice_guy80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,723 ✭✭✭nice_guy80


    gramar wrote: »
    I could hold it for you.

    the ereader or herself?


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    #39
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    nice_guy80 wrote: »
    the ereader or herself?

    The ereader, I wouldn't refer to your lady partner as 'it'.


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    #40
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    I'll bring in some holly and mistletoe, light a few candles, make a more elaborate than usual dinner and celebrate the end of the dark part of the year. Like a winter solstice celebration, only a few days after the solstice.I can't be doing with the high pressure commercialized affair that is Christmas celebration.


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    #41
    JohnCleary
    Registered Users Posts: 10,208 ✭✭✭✭JohnCleary


    nice_guy80 wrote: »
    I floated this idea for the last three years, but she's said no

    next year i'm just booking the tickets

    My OH wasn't keen on spending 'another' Christmas abroad. I sweetened the deal by buying Business Class... suddenly eating Christmas Dinner on a beach in Thailand doesn't seem so bad to her


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    #42
    nice_guy80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,723 ✭✭✭nice_guy80


    JohnCleary wrote: »
    My OH wasn't keen on spending 'another' Christmas abroad. I sweetened the deal by buying Business Class... suddenly eating Christmas Dinner on a beach in Thailand doesn't seem so bad to her

    damn you

    eating dinner anywhere in thailand is good


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    #43
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,631 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Knock back a bottle of whiskey for each hour the turkey is in the oven. By the time the turkey is burned to a crisp resembling the Mother Alien, you just won't give a sh*t.

    Merry Christmas!!


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    #44
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    buy spare batteries - particularly the AA AAA and 9v variety ror these kids toys so there are no floods of tears when the batteries die on Christmas day evening at 4.30pm.


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    #45
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    5rtytry56 wrote: »
    buy spare batteries - particularly the AA AAA and 9v variety ror these kids toys so there are no floods of tears when the batteries die on Christmas day evening at 4.30pm.

    About 4 years ago the missus splashed out 200 odd quid on rechargeable batteries and a charger, I thought she was mad (she is by the way) - but this one act stands alone as a glimmer of genius in a sea of insanity.
    Best buy ever:D


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    #46
    MeatTwoVeg
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 861 ✭✭✭MeatTwoVeg


    Encourage your children to be naughty on the run up to Christmas, then save a fortune by not getting them any presents.


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    #47
    keano_afc
    Registered Users Posts: 8,711 ✭✭✭keano_afc


    kfallon wrote: »
    Show a little sensitivity to people with mental health problems when buying them a Christmas Hamper by not including any crackers, nuts or fruit cake.

    Having a recovering addict around for dinner on Stephens Day? Avoid an awkward silence by not offering them cold turkey.


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    #48
    hairyslug
    Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭hairyslug


    We have the inlaws coming over for 4 ****in days, whoopde****indoo.

    My poor dog will be walked more than he ever has been beforr


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    #49
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    Common Sense: December 25th & 26th are Bank Holidays.

    Also, if shopping on St. Stephen's day as an antidote for the fukking boredom remember shop staff may have a 'Bank Holiday' attitude towards all 'footfall' in the store: be prepared, and personally don't pay it back.


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    #50
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    5rtytry56 wrote: »
    Common Sense: December 25th & 26th are Bank Holidays.

    Also, if shopping on St. Stephen's day as an antidote for the fukking boredom remember shop staff may have a 'Bank Holiday' attitude towards all 'footfall' in the store: be prepared, and personally don't pay it back.

    I would rather have my scrotum nailed to a table than go shopping on Stephen's Day. You've just had a whole month of shopping, why would you go again? :confused:

    Either a day with the family or a day down the pub is what it's all about for me!


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    #51
    Rhyme
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 8,561 Mod ✭✭✭✭Rhyme


    Do your shopping before Christmas, or better yet, before December. Stay out of Dublin.


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    #52
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    kfallon wrote: »
    I would rather have my scrotum nailed to a table than go shopping on Stephen's Day. You've just had a whole month of shopping, why would you go again? :confused:

    Either a day with the family or a day down the pub is what it's all about for me!
    It IS very hard to find an open Pub on St Stephens day where I live.
    Also, they tend to be busy.


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    #53
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    5rtytry56 wrote: »
    It IS very hard to find an open Pub on St Stephens day where I live.
    Also, they tend to be busy.

    Ah jaysus :(


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    #54
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    MeatTwoVeg wrote: »
    Encourage your children to be naughty on the run up to Christmas, then save a fortune by not getting them any presents.
    Get a couple of coal blocks - one for each kid and give them one each instead on Christmas Day. I'll save one for you too, kfallon.


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    #55
    harry Bailey esq
    Registered Users Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    corner of hells wrote: »
    My cousins wife has ****ed off back to Portugal taking three kids with her after starting an unholy row with aunt , uncle , various relatives and neighbours.
    She also announced she will be back in early January .

    Apparently she's done this before to avoid Christmas.

    My cousin who you think is devastated is on cloud nine.Drunk as a lord over the weekend and to quote him "I'll probably fly out and see the mad **** over the Christmas. '

    What a perfect couple.I envy him.


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    #56
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,908 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Fed up with overcooked dried out turkey ?

    Fill the turkey with popcorn kernels and put in the oven at 200c (190c for fan
    assisted, gas mark 3)

    When it explodes the pieces will be tender and moist.


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    #57
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    *******Don't forget the grey / brown / green bins and collection times********


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    #58
    MeatTwoVeg
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 861 ✭✭✭MeatTwoVeg


    Reassure friends and family, concerned at your spiraling alcoholism, that you're simply doing the '12 pubs' anytime you bump into them while inebriated.


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    #59
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    MeatTwoVeg wrote: »
    Reassure friends and family, concerned at your spiraling alcoholism, that you're simply doing the '12 pubs' anytime you bump into them while inebriated.
    Prepare a list of 12 public houses, the nearer the better. Name, shame..........and BLAME:D:D:D:pac:


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    #60
    Four Phucs Ache
    Registered Users Posts: 1,017 ✭✭✭Four Phucs Ache


    DO NOT give your dog Xmas pudding.

    My dad does it every fookin year so on St stephens day it sh*ts like a shotgun.


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    #61
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    Four Phucs Ache wrote: »
    DO NOT give your dog Xmas pudding.

    My dad does it every fookin year so on St stephens day it sh*ts like a shotgun.

    And don't feed Fido chocolate designed for kids or auntie either.


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