Children's Parties.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 24-10-2016 04:55PM

meeeeh wrote: »

Because they are exactly the points someone who doesn't know any eight year-olds would be making. They are generalizations that look nice written down.

Kids (including mine) are annoying, loud, spoiled and sometimes rude. I have yet to find one 8 year old that owns a mobile phone or one that requested to be collected early from party unless there is some sort of a fight among them. But at the same time not all of them will enjoy games, they will just entertain themselves with something else.

Well, as I'm very very closely involved in the life of an eight year old, they are also the points someone who does know eight year olds would be making.

Which of my points in particular are you referring to anyhow? My remarks about the children owning phones and asking to be collected from a party are ones told to me by a colleague regarding her own 8 year old. I did say she was very shocked, so am in no way saying it's normal or typical. I am aware, from my own experience of an 8 year old, and from my sister's experience with her children, that it's not easy to organise 'at home' parties anymore because the traditional games are considered childish and boring by young children.

Musketeer4 · 24-10-2016 05:04PM

I love the way people like Meeeh, when their arguement has been defeated they always insist on going on defensive and claiming how anyone who is not a parent doesn't know shít. Well do they realise that there was a time when they themselves were not a parent!
Many non-parents will have close involvement in small kids lives. For example looking after nieces & nephews etc.

I've looked after the nieces many times and had them out around town. They often melt down on my sister but whatever seems to happen they don't melt down with me. First time I noticed the smaller one looking like she was going to go on a runaway reaction over a pack of kimberleys a sturdy no combined with a firmly raised palm quenched things. They are generally pretty good for me because I don't entertain any bullcrap behaviour but I do it in a nice way by simply not indulging it or feeding it attention.

Buford T. Justice XIX · 24-10-2016 05:06PM

meeeeh wrote: »

Because they are exactly the points someone who doesn't know any eight year-olds would be making. They are generalizations that look nice written down.

Kids (including mine) are annoying, loud, spoiled and sometimes rude. I have yet to find one 8 year old that owns a mobile phone or one that requested to be collected early from party unless there is some sort of a fight among them. But at the same time not all of them will enjoy games, they will just entertain themselves with something else.

+1

noaddedsugar · 24-10-2016 05:13PM

Boone Beautiful Radiotherapy wrote: »

Well, as I'm very very closely involved in the life of an eight year old, they are also the points someone who does know eight year olds would be making.

Which of my points in particular are you referring to anyhow? My remarks about the children owning phones and asking to be collected from a party are ones told to me by a colleague regarding her own 8 year old. I did say she was very shocked, so am in no way saying it's normal or typical. I am aware, from my own experience of an 8 year old, and from my sister's experience with her children, that it's not easy to organise 'at home' parties anymore because the traditional games are considered childish and boring by young children.

Your experience of kids not being entertained by traditional party games and your sisters are not typical in my opinion.

My kids are out front right now with the neighbourhood kids playing with bouncy balls and bashing plastic lightsabers. It is hardly sophisticated game play involving mountains of toys. This kind of thing goes on every day in estates across the country. Kids playing games not too dissimilar to the games I played as a child. The same in the school yard the kids come home telling tales of the games they played, thinking they invented the wheel when really they are just playing versions of the same games we played as kids. Kids are well able to entertain themselves esp when there are plenty of other kids the same age around. All I can think of is that the parties you/ your sister/ your co worker go to are extraordinarily stifling and awkward so the kids don't feel comfortable just playing and taking part. Either that or you all know a lot of weird kids.

meeeeh · 24-10-2016 05:14PM

Boone Beautiful Radiotherapy wrote: »

Well, as I'm very very closely involved in the life of an eight year old, they are also the points someone who does know eight year olds would be making.

Which of my points in particular are you referring to anyhow? My remarks about the children owning phones and asking to be collected from a party are ones told to me by a colleague regarding her own 8 year old. I did say she was very shocked, so am in no way saying it's normal or typical. I am aware, from my own experience of an 8 year old, and from my sister's experience with her children, that it's not easy to organise 'at home' parties anymore because the traditional games are considered childish and boring by young children.

Boone Beautiful Radiotherapy wrote: »

I don't think crèches are the problem either. I think it's down to they type of parents who are constantly ferrying their kids from one place of entertainment to another, plying them with technology, but never bothering to take them to a library or sit down and read with them or encourage them to draw, write stories and so on.
The children are so used to having everything laid on that they've lost the art of entertaining themselves and using a bit of imagination. When said kids are invited to a traditional type children's party, they're just unable to enjoy old fashioned games and having to create their own fun. They're also unable to use a bit of manners and just try and enjoy themselves until it's time to go home.

This for example. How many kids like that do you know. Or were you told by a coworker who was told about it from a friend of a friend.

Because trust me I would love to go to a kiddie place, lock them away for an hour and a half and get them some rubbish food. But no they prefer a house party which is a pain.

Oh and my kids are ferried from one activity to another. One of them is obsessed with electric gadgets but they also go to the library and they get a story every night. I'm not singling myself out as a good or bad parent because frankly I am neither. I am just trying to say you are posting gross generalizations about something you don't know much about.

noaddedsugar · 24-10-2016 05:14PM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

I love the way people like Meeeh, when their arguement has been defeated they always insist on going on defensive and claiming how anyone who is not a parent doesn't know shít. Well do they realise that there was a time when they themselves were not a parent!
Many non-parents will have close involvement in small kids lives. For example looking after nieces & nephews etc.

I've looked after the nieces many times and had them out around town. They often melt down on my sister but whatever seems to happen they don't melt down with me. First time I noticed the smaller one looking like she was going to go on a runaway reaction over a pack of kimberleys a sturdy no combined with a firmly raised palm quenched things. They are generally pretty good for me because I don't entertain any bullcrap behaviour but I do it in a nice way by simply not indulging it or feeding it attention.

They don't melt down on you because you are a novelty, not because you are some kind of wondrous kid wrangler.

meeeeh · 24-10-2016 05:18PM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

I love the way people like Meeeh, when their arguement has been defeated they always insist on going on defensive and claiming how anyone who is not a parent doesn't know shít. Well do they realise that there was a time when they themselves were not a parent!
Many non-parents will have close involvement in small kids lives. For example looking after nieces & nephews etc.

I've looked after the nieces many times and had them out around town. They often melt down on my sister but whatever seems to happen they don't melt down with me. First time I noticed the smaller one looking like she was going to go on a runaway reaction over a pack of kimberleys a sturdy no combined with a firmly raised palm quenched things. They are generally pretty good for me because I don't entertain any bullcrap behaviour but I do it in a nice way by simply not indulging it or feeding it attention.

I am sure not giving your nieces Kimberlys makes you an expert on parenting.

Musketeer4 · 24-10-2016 05:21PM

A novelty? I am there most weekends and mind them if sister has business to attend to. Her husband is no use in that department or around the house in general. Hardly a novelty at this stage. I'm only trying to help out my sister because she's burnt out.
I suppose you're some sort of guru expert?

noaddedsugar · 24-10-2016 05:33PM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

A novelty? I am there most weekends and mind them if sister has business to attend to. Her husband is no use in that department or around the house in general. Hardly a novelty at this stage. I'm only trying to help out my sister because she's burnt out.
I suppose you're some sort of guru expert?

No I am not a guru expert, it seemed to me like you were the one who was proclaiming themselves to be.
My kids act like brats sometimes but so do I. I get tired, I get fed up, sometimes I whine about stupid little things, I even get upset sometimes about nonsensical things like someone eating the last biscuit when I was looking forward to it. I don't do these things in front of people who aren't my people ie my husband and kids. My kids don't tend to either, even when they were little they might have meltdowns when they were in public but only if they were with me or my husband ie their people.
I am not doubting you are close to your nieces, my kids are very close to their grandparents but behave impeccably around them because at the end of the day they are not their people. Perhaps it is because we ie their parents are the ones who make them feel safest, the ones who love them unconditionally. I'm not pretending to be a child psychologist, I am just giving my experiences of children. The same way you are I presume.

Grandeeod · 24-10-2016 08:02PM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

I love the way people like Meeeh, when their arguement has been defeated they always insist on going on defensive and claiming how anyone who is not a parent doesn't know shít. Well do they realise that there was a time when they themselves were not a parent!
Many non-parents will have close involvement in small kids lives. For example looking after nieces & nephews etc.

I've looked after the nieces many times and had them out around town. They often melt down on my sister but whatever seems to happen they don't melt down with me. First time I noticed the smaller one looking like she was going to go on a runaway reaction over a pack of kimberleys a sturdy no combined with a firmly raised palm quenched things. They are generally pretty good for me because I don't entertain any bullcrap behaviour but I do it in a nice way by simply not indulging it or feeding it attention.

I disagreed with you earlier about the €5 party thing and I stand by that. But you are right about parents being not parents at one stage. I hate this "Im a parent and your not" BS, so I'm right and you aren't. It is perfectly acceptable to have opinions on parenting before you are an actual parent and I hope you carry that through if you become a parent in the future.

I have an 8 year old and I'm stunned by some of the accepted behaviour being described here. She's not perfect, but never did meltdowns, has tonnes of stuff in her room that she looks after and cares about, right down to a ****ing McDonalds toy.

Its really in the parenting and associated attitude.

andekwarhola · 24-10-2016 09:18PM

My kids are around that age and I've dropped them to loads parties and not ever experienced this.

So many people in AH appear to be privvy to daily occurrences that provide tailor made material for rant threads.

osarusan · 24-10-2016 09:34PM

andekwarhola wrote: »

So many people in AH appear to be privvy to daily occurrences that provide tailor made material for rant threads.

So many people in AH apparently cannot avoid stuff in their lives because it's everywhere, yet it's stuff that I virtually never come across in my life.

wakka12 · 25-10-2016 12:17AM

Hmm is this really a common phenomenon though? Parties were big back in my primary school days, everyone enjoyed home parties most, plates of sweets and crisps, some pass the parcel, goody bags, a movie, a bouncy castle. Fond memories of it, that was only 8 or 9 years ago and I remember my class really loving the home parties too. And this was a class of poshy pretentious D4 ****s. But maybe its all changed a lot in the last decade..

WhoWhatWhere · 25-10-2016 12:20AM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Ah now, you couldn't exclude any of the kids in the class, that wouldn't prepare them for adult life where everything always goes your way and everyone likes you.

An 8 year doesn't need to live an adult lifestyle. There's enough time for that when they are adults.

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000 · 25-10-2016 12:23AM

Op you are right. Recently at my niece's birthday(shes 5) and while some of the kids loved pin the tail on the donkey etc some of them were moaning about how "bored" they were... They were kind of little shìts.

wakka12 · 25-10-2016 12:29AM

noaddedsugar wrote: »

They don't melt down on you because you are a novelty, not because you are some kind of wondrous kid wrangler.

Theres no reason why that would make a child less likely to melt down

Musketeer4 · 25-10-2016 09:18AM

I wonder is there a certain element of urban vs rural in why there are some kids who are content with party games etc and others who need constant stimulation or get bored.
Me and most of my friends in primary school were rural, many from farming families and we would have been regarded as a "good" school. Then youd have some kids out from towns and in a lot of cases they were disruptive and just difficult.

25-10-2016 10:04AM

This thread is a terrible whinge about children, most are not like that just some.

What is happening is both parent working so a lot of parties are in play centres because the house would be messed up if it was at home and they don't have the time to tidy up when time is short, or sometimes there home is a show house and don't want it untidy. It is possible that a child might not be use to a party in a house where they have to entertain themselves with party games. The rudeness of saying I am board at a party and asking to be taken home is jaw drooping and that there are parents who indulge them in this!

Boom_Bap · 25-10-2016 10:16AM

I took my son and daughter to a birthday party recently where they were telling me they were bored. This was in the Plex in Blanch. They walked through this massive big place full of lights games and excitement and the girl went into the play area which was grand. The boy was going with the rest of the boys into Quazaar.
The boy refused to go in saying he was bored with that place without having gone in. It turns out he was scared of the darkness of the quazaar area and instead wanted to play the video games, he was attracted to that stimulus.
When the girl seen him hanging out with me, she came out of the play area and wanted to play video games claiming she was bored.
Both were not allowed play games by the way.

Once they moved the party to bowling the 2 were not bored any more and had a great time.

Then at the sit down part where they eat cake and food, they became 'bored' again....they were sitting in an area where they can see all the stimuli of the flashing games again. And to be honest the parents were not trying to entertain the kids and stood around nattering.

When a child says they are bored, they are not necessarily really bored, they probably don't know the meaning, it means there is something else they want to do.

25-10-2016 10:22AM

About a month ago I at event wit a lot of children present, what I observed that the children divided in to two camps and the children with good behaviour don't want to be with the indulged children they were nervous of them because they were rude, interrupting adult conversations, and demanding.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 25-10-2016 11:25AM

meeeeh wrote: »

This for example. How many kids like that do you know. Or were you told by a coworker who was told about it from a friend of a friend.

Because trust me I would love to go to a kiddie place, lock them away for an hour and a half and get them some rubbish food. But no they prefer a house party which is a pain.

Oh and my kids are ferried from one activity to another. One of them is obsessed with electric gadgets but they also go to the library and they get a story every night. I'm not singling myself out as a good or bad parent because frankly I am neither. I am just trying to say you are posting gross generalizations about something you don't know much about.

I think you are seeing generalisation where none exists. Where did I state that ferrying children from one activity to another and buying them electric gadgets was wrong in itself? I qualified it by saying it was wrong if it excluded other activities such as trips to the library and story telling.
And I have explained, twice, how I heard the story about the kids ringing home, whilst also saying that I wasn't there myself at the time.

You seem to be trying to take offence by skewing my comments or taking up one part whilst ignoring the qualifying bits. I'm really not going to argue with you anymore.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 25-10-2016 11:32AM

noaddedsugar wrote: »

No I am not a guru expert, it seemed to me like you were the one who was proclaiming themselves to be.
My kids act like brats sometimes but so do I. I get tired, I get fed up, sometimes I whine about stupid little things, I even get upset sometimes about nonsensical things like someone eating the last biscuit when I was looking forward to it. I don't do these things in front of people who aren't my people ie my husband and kids. My kids don't tend to either, even when they were little they might have meltdowns when they were in public but only if they were with me or my husband ie their people.
I am not doubting you are close to your nieces, my kids are very close to their grandparents but behave impeccably around them because at the end of the day they are not their people. Perhaps it is because we ie their parents are the ones who make them feel safest, the ones who love them unconditionally. I'm not pretending to be a child psychologist, I am just giving my experiences of children. The same way you are I presume.

Well, that's really the point that's being made. Children who kick off a bit at home, or refuse to join in something because it's boring are just behaving like normal kids who aren't perfect all the time.

But children who refuse to join in games at parties, ask to be taken home, or dismiss the laid on entertainment as boring in front of the host are rude and need to be taught manners. I am sure such children are very much in the minority (I certainly hope so) but there does seem to be a greater tolerance of that kind of behaviour than there used to be. I really don't remember seeing children refuse to take part in musical chairs or call it babyish when I was 8 or 9, and I went to a reasonable amount of parties.

meeeeh · 25-10-2016 12:20PM

Boone Beautiful Radiotherapy wrote: »

You seem to be trying to take offence by skewing my comments or taking up one part whilst ignoring the qualifying bits. I'm really not going to argue with you anymore.

I'm not taking offence, I just think you are talking about something you know very little about and making conclusions from a third party account who were not present when it happened. It's like the mythical bridezilla, all women getting married change into one and yet vast majority of people never came accross one. Kids today are no worse than we were. Some are brats some are not, some beats have stay at home parents some don't, some brats get anything they won't, some get nothing, some are rural and some are not... And yes some need to be taught manners but that's exactly the same for all previous generations through human history.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 25-10-2016 12:50PM

Grandeeod wrote: »

I disagreed with you earlier about the €5 party thing and I stand by that. But you are right about parents being not parents at one stage. I hate this "Im a parent and your not" BS, so I'm right and you aren't. It is perfectly acceptable to have opinions on parenting before you are an actual parent and I hope you carry that through if you become a parent in the future.

I have an 8 year old and I'm stunned by some of the accepted behaviour being described here. She's not perfect, but never did meltdowns, has tonnes of stuff in her room that she looks after and cares about, right down to a ****ing McDonalds toy.

Its really in the parenting and associated attitude.

I totally agree. A cheap and lazy argument which ignores the fact that, along with all the good parents out there, there are also some bad parents who haven't a clue how to raise their kids, and some mediocre parents who struggle with it. I have no problem with someone outlining their experience as a parent to bring a new perspective to a debate about some child related issue.
But the adamant 'I'm right and you haven't a clue, cos I have kids and you haven't' , and the subsequent rude dismissal of anything else that's said really makes me

ETA Sorry, no idea why that frown appeared at the top of my post.

25-10-2016 01:36PM

Boone Beautiful Radiotherapy wrote: »

A few other colleagues with children around that age said they weren't surprised; that it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep kids entertained at parties and a lot of them just aren't interested in parties at home with old fashioned games etc.

Did she check the quality of the party games at all? Maybe they genuinely were just excruciatingly boring and the hosts in question really did just entirely suck at it

But tongue back out of cheek - as others have said the sheer quantity of party invites these days does seem to be a factor. Like other users have said - I remember when a party was an _event_ at those ages. Now it just seems to be in some way routine. Even the most fun party game is gonna get old when you are going around it for the 25th time.

A big difference I see in the success of parties I have witnessed is how engaged the organisers of it are. I have seen some go well and some go terrible.

Without fail the ones that went terrible are the ones where the adults set up a few diversions - got in some food and drink and cake - maybe a DVD or two - but then sat with some of the other parents in the garden or a room somewhere having beers and chatting. And every time a kid showed up wanting something or kicking off it was just a case of "Oh go start the next game thing would you?" or "Oh just stick on the DVD then".

Where the ones that have went well are the ones were the organising adults were engaged - upbeat - energetic - somewhat sober - and active. Setting challenges - breaking any social ice - watching for kids attention or enjoyment wandering and finding ways to bring them back in to it. And so on.

We ourselves have only hosted one party so far with our kids - daughters 6th - she invited around 8 kids - 6 came - and with minimum effort I ensured they had a memorable and fun time.

Made a great _long_ water slide with plastic, water and soap sorta like this kinda thing and they were entertained for hours in between the other diversions I had planned and spaced out.

We remained quite engaged - stimulated friendly rivalries and goals and challenges - cemented with prizes and a simple leader board. And the only time a DVD was resorted to was when the kids wanted to have a slippery soapy "dance off" to the music at the end of "Home" - so we stuck the DVD in and fast forwarded to - and played - the credits 5 or 6 times.

But it will not be annual. Probably do another one when she is 8 or 9. And maybe a first for my son when he is around 4 or 5. But they will be spaced out for each of them a lot less often than every year.

Boone Beautiful Radiotherapy wrote: »

And what on earth are they doing with phones at 8-9 years of age.

Depends on the phone I guess. The technology is there to allow us as parents - and our kids - to be instantly contactable in any situation - and I see no reason at this time not to use that technology. No point in them having full internet access pocket multimedia games machines of course - but a phone - why not?

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 25-10-2016 01:53PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Did she check the quality of the party games at all? Maybe they genuinely were just excruciatingly boring and the hosts in question really did just entirely suck at it

But tongue back out of cheek - as others have said the sheer quantity of party invites these days does seem to be a factor. Like other users have said - I remember when a party was an _event_ at those ages. Now it just seems to be in some way routine. Even the most fun party game is gonna get old when you are going around it for the 25th time.

That's true. I think the 'all class' invitations probably started out with good intentions - no one left out, stops the problem of some kids never getting invited to anything.
But the downside is the sheer number of invitations children get and the consequent obligation to invite all of these children back to your child's party.
It's a pity if parties are no longer seen as a treat, but as something routine and boring. And I feel really sorry for the many parents who can't afford conjurors and exotic animals and face painters. It must be hell trying to entertain up to 20 children, with some of them whinging that they're
b-o-o-r-e-d, or rampaging around the house and in and out of the bedrooms and so on.

Riddle101 · 25-10-2016 02:00PM

frag420 wrote: »

Should have hired some clowns, kids love em!!

Just as long as it's a good one and not like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLLa7JVoCX0

25-10-2016 03:41PM

http://www.bbc.com/news/education-21895704neuroscientist

expert on brain deterioration Prof Susan Greenfield, who also spoke to the academic, recalled a childhood in a family with little money and no siblings until she was 13.
"She happily entertained herself with making up stories, drawing pictures of her stories and going to the library."
Dr Belton, who is an expert in the impact of emotions on behaviour and learning, said boredom could be an "uncomfortable feeling" and that society had "developed an expectation of being constantly occupied and constantly stimulated"

The academic, who has previously studied the impact of television and videos on children's writing, said: "When children have nothing to do now, they immediately switch on the TV, the computer, the phone or some kind of screen. The time they spend on these things has increased.
"But children need to have stand-and-stare time, time imagining and pursuing their own thinking processes or assimilating their experiences through play or just observing the world around them

It an interesting article about how boredom is good for children.

Children's Parties.

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