Children's Parties.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 24-10-2016 11:20AM #1

A colleague has just been telling us that she went to collect her child (aged 8) from a party at the weekend and most of the guests were already gone. She apologised to the birthday girl's mother, thinking she'd got the time wrong but the mother just shrugged and said a lot of the kids thought the party games were 'boring' and had phoned their parents to come and collect them.

A few other colleagues with children around that age said they weren't surprised; that it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep kids entertained at parties and a lot of them just aren't interested in parties at home with old fashioned games etc.

I'm a bit shocked to be honest. Are children really that spoilt and rude. And what on earth are they doing with phones at 8-9 years of age.

ETA I realise that the parents are equally rude, agreeing to collect their children instead of telling them to behave and join in with whatever entertainment was provided.

frag420 · 24-10-2016 11:22AM

Should have hired some clowns, kids love em!!

Day Lewin · 24-10-2016 11:26AM

Crikey. Talk about entitlement!
Shocked. They are in for a nasty shock when reality starts to bite in a few years time.

Robsweezie · 24-10-2016 11:30AM

katemarch wrote:

Crikey. Talk about entitlement! Shocked. They are in for a nasty shock when reality starts to bite in a few years time.

Watch them walk away from their boring school, boring job, boring relationship :-)

Boom_Bap · 24-10-2016 11:32AM

When I was a youngster, I would have went to a handful of birthday parties a year. They were exciting things.

These days, every weekend I'm bring 1 or both of the kids to a birthday party. The excitement isn't really there anymore because they are so frequent.

Winterlong · 24-10-2016 11:36AM

Most of the parties in our area are not in peoples houses, but in play centres or sports places.
Maybe the brats were expecting a party like that. Very rude though.

somesoldiers · 24-10-2016 11:38AM

A lad I work with used to have a track worn to Smyths, every week he was buying presents for one or other kids parties. I asked him how come he doesn’t do so much of it this year. He said because his child is older (9 I think) the kids don’t have to invite everyone in their class any more. Only their actual friends

mailforkev · 24-10-2016 11:38AM

I worked with a woman with a couple of kids around ages 8-10 and she seemed to have at least one party to go to every weekend.

Seems that you have to invite the whole class to a kids party now in case somebody feels left out. I used to just go to my friends' parties back in the day.

In the OP case though it's more the parents at fault rather than the kids.

suicide_circus · 24-10-2016 11:43AM

Ah now, you couldn't exclude any of the kids in the class, that wouldn't prepare them for adult life where everything always goes your way and everyone likes you.

Musketeer4 · 24-10-2016 11:46AM

It is beyond rediculous the amount of parties that kids "have to" go to these days.
When I was in primary school, yeah I might have gone to say 4 or 5 parties in the year. My two nieces on the other hand, wow, my sister seems to be on the road constantly nearly every weekend with parties. In my opinion it has become excessive and beyond what is reasonable. Jaysus I wasnt going to that many parties when I was in college even!! People have lost the run of themselves altogether.
And as for bailing out of a party early because its booooring, that is beyond bad manners. And of course i lay absolutely 110% of the blame squarely at the feet of parents. They are the ones facilitating, entertaining and even promoting this sort of thing.

Iviting a whole class load of 20+ kids is just not on. Your house would be destroyed. It just wasn't heard of when i was small.

Sure in a few years time the majority of all these party goers will probably not even acknowledge eachother in the street.

When I was small going to a parties was a novelty. Despite being deprived, unloved, ostracised and disadvantaged by not having 20+ 7 year olds around the house every weekend I think i turned out at least relatively normal.

Day Lewin · 24-10-2016 11:52AM

There's no "have to"

Honestly

They don't HAVE to invite every child in the class. Really. Just don't do it, simple as that.

You don't HAVE to buy a toy. Bring a small gift. A paperback book! Recipient will not be offended, I guarantee it.

You don't HAVE to buy into this keeping-up-with-the-Joneses crap. Just saying.

What's wrong with people? Be free, own your choices!

Musketeer4 · 24-10-2016 11:59AM

My mother and I often talk about how my sister gives in to neices (4 & 6) and has them to the point that saying no to anything results in thermonuclear conflagration. Mother says that giving in to things rewards, enables and fuels "demanding behaviour" and that she's caught up in a vicious cycle of giving in to prevent blowouts, that enables the behaviour, then it continues to escalate.
Sister is burned out.

Mother says the nieces are impossible to keep entertained because they've been in creche so much and its all down to overstimulation and that they simply don't know how to chill out and because they never learned how to. They have to be constantly stimulated and entertained. Mother says we were far far quieter and I in particular was always a dream and was happy to fooster about and entertain myself for a few hours at a time.

She says its all back to a guilt thing with both parents working and then they overindulge kids to compensate. The world is shagged.

Turtyturd · 24-10-2016 12:02PM

Have brought my son to plenty of these since he started school and most of them seem to be in play areas. The one that seemed to have the most impact on him though was a home one, and he is intent on getting a treehouse since he went to it.

Musketeer4 · 24-10-2016 12:10PM

Turtyturd wrote: »

Have brought my son to plenty of these since he started school and most of them seem to be in play areas. The one that seemed to have the most impact on him though was a home one, and he is intent on getting a treehouse since he went to it.

Thats the thing though. In and out of houses to this extent fuels envy, peer pressure and keeping up with the jones'es'es.

But fúck it, I'm not a parent so my opinion is of limited to no credibility.

osarusan · 24-10-2016 12:14PM

"Thanks for the invitation, but actually we have plans that day as some friends are visiting from Dublin. I hope (name) has a great day though."

Musketeer4 · 24-10-2016 12:21PM

That's perfectly fine to say and the parents on the other site would surely understand. The problem that arises is that the child can kick off if they're the one's left out and especially so if the parents have been appeasing them in the past.
Once a precedent has been set it's very hard to row back.

Turtyturd · 24-10-2016 12:22PM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

Thats the thing though. In and out of houses to this extent fuels envy, peer pressure and keeping up with the jones'es'es.

But fúck it, I'm not a parent so my opinion is of limited to no credibility.

No harm in wanting as they say. With the youngest fella when I have no intention of getting him something he asks for I just say 'next week' knowing he'll forget about it. It works so well that if I actually intend on getting him something and say 'we'll get it tomorrow' he'll say 'No I want it next week.'

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 24-10-2016 01:05PM

I think it's really sad that 8 and 9 year olds are no longer entertained by games of Blind Man's Buff and Musical Chairs. According to my sister, even trying to get them all to sit down and watch a DVD at a party doesn't work because half the kids will object to the chosen film and insist they want another one.

When I was a child you were so delighted and excited to be going to a party you went along with whatever was organised, and enjoyed it.

Some of these children are going to grow up to be materialistic, discontented adults permanently seeking satisfaction by buying the latest gadgets and designer labels, because they've no creativity or inner resources to fall back on.

Olishi4 · 24-10-2016 01:08PM

I think it depends on the effort and how the party is organised. You'd get a lot attending who don't know each other at a kids house party so the parents have to provide games and things like that but also have to actively encourage everyone to take part and have fun.

I was minding my niece a while ago and a few of the kids from the road came into the house. We got a game of snakes and ladders going and they had a great time although I think I might have inspired the competitive side in them a bit too much which nearly backfired and some of them were little cheaters. Anyway they all love snakes and ladders now

Crea · 24-10-2016 01:11PM

It's only when they are in the first few years if primary they do the "everyone in the class" parties (or every boy/girl depending on class size).
My son is in 2nd class and a few parents are still doing it. There are 8 boys in the class so there is a certain pressure to invite them all , eventhough there are a few little ****s.
All the parties are outside the house, saves on the hassle of parents staying and cleaning up. Kids leaving a party early need a good kick in the hole.

somesoldiers · 24-10-2016 01:15PM

Boone Beautiful Radiotherapy wrote: »

I think it's really sad that 8 and 9 year olds are no longer entertained by games of Blind Man's Buff and Musical Chairs. According to my sister, even trying to get them all to sit down and watch a DVD at a party doesn't work because half the kids will object to the chosen film and insist they want another one.

When I was a child you were so delighted and excited to be going to a party you went along with whatever was organised, and enjoyed it.

Some of these children are going to grow up to be materialistic, discontented adults permanently seeking satisfaction by buying the latest gadgets and designer labels, because they've no creativity or inner resources to fall back on.

from what I've seen with the sister's kids they will play pass the parcel but every kid needs to get a present and it must be something decent or they will whinge. They also all need to get a party bag on the way home. Our lad is only 1.5 so all ahead of us

they are so selfish, they had about 2 dozen eggs each at Easter. my sister gave our boy a little egg and the greedy feckers wanted that too, that was the final straw with me

FTA69 · 24-10-2016 01:43PM

Few yokes to go with the fizzy orange and crisps and they'll be having the time of their lives.

Sue Pa Key Pa · 24-10-2016 01:52PM

I often phone for a lift home from children's parties as many of them can be boring and some parents put no thought into entertainment at all. Also, I'm 54

Buford T. Justice XIX · 24-10-2016 01:53PM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

My mother and I often talk about how my sister gives in to neices (4 & 6) and has them to the point that saying no to anything results in thermonuclear conflagration. Mother says that giving in to things rewards, enables and fuels "demanding behaviour" and that she's caught up in a vicious cycle of giving in to prevent blowouts, that enables the behaviour, then it continues to escalate.
Sister is burned out.

Mother says the nieces are impossible to keep entertained because they've been in creche so much and its all down to overstimulation and that they simply don't know how to chill out and because they never learned how to. They have to be constantly stimulated and entertained. Mother says we were far far quieter and I in particular was always a dream and was happy to fooster about and entertain myself for a few hours at a time.

She says its all back to a guilt thing with both parents working and then they overindulge kids to compensate. The world is shagged.

Four of mine went to a creche and it was the best thing for them. They learned to socialise and share toys and games.

The over stimulation problem might be happening closer to home than you might like, it wouldn't be a problem with most of my kids peer groups who went to a creche.

The flying mouse · 24-10-2016 01:56PM

katemarch wrote: »

There's no "have to"

Honestly

They don't HAVE to invite every child in the class. Really. Just don't do it, simple as that.

You don't HAVE to buy a toy. Bring a small gift. A paperback book! Recipient will not be offended, I guarantee it.

You don't HAVE to buy into this keeping-up-with-the-Joneses crap. Just saying.

What's wrong with people? Be free, own your choices!

Reminder to mark katemarch of party invites :P

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 24-10-2016 02:03PM

Buford T. Justice V wrote: »

Four of mine went to a creche and it was the best thing for them. They learned to socialise and share toys and games.

The over stimulation problem might be happening closer to home than you might like, it wouldn't be a problem with most of my kids peer groups who went to a creche.

I don't think crèches are the problem either. I think it's down to they type of parents who are constantly ferrying their kids from one place of entertainment to another, plying them with technology, but never bothering to take them to a library or sit down and read with them or encourage them to draw, write stories and so on.
The children are so used to having everything laid on that they've lost the art of entertaining themselves and using a bit of imagination. When said kids are invited to a traditional type children's party, they're just unable to enjoy old fashioned games and having to create their own fun. They're also unable to use a bit of manners and just try and enjoy themselves until it's time to go home.

jakethepirate1 · 24-10-2016 02:04PM

For my son's birthday I invited as many kids in his class that I could get contact numbers for the parents. It was during the summer holidays and I had stupidly forgotten to get phone numbers before they finished. I went out of my way to hand deliver invitations and asking other parents to send me phone numbers. Out of the ten or so I invited from school, two of them turned up on the day. And only two other parents had replied to tell me that they wouldn't be able to make it on the day, which was no problem at all. It was in a play centre because it wasn't practical to have it in our house and the lady working there kept coming over asking if more were coming. I had to tell her to leave it half an hour before setting up the room because I didn't know. So it ended up being mostly cousins and neighbours, which we had no problem with but my son then asked me afterwards 'how come X, Y and Z didn't come?'.

I would try to invite the whole class because there are one or two kids that I know get left out regularly, but it's disheartening when you go out of your way to invite them and they don't even rsvp.

Also my cousin told me recently that she put on her son's invitations that he didn't want expensive presents. All he wanted was €5. The parents were delighted and the birthday boy was able to buy a big lego set that was even too expensive for Santa. I'm thinking of adopting the same approach next year.

osarusan · 24-10-2016 02:08PM

jakethepirate1 wrote: »

For my son's birthday I invited as many kids in his class that I could get contact numbers for the parents. It was during the summer holidays and I had stupidly forgotten to get phone numbers before they finished. I went out of my way to hand deliver invitations and asking other parents to send me phone numbers.

In my kids' school, the parents either print out postcard-sized invitations with their own number and an RSVP and then get their kids to hand them to the other kids, or, if the party is being held at one of those play centres, then the centre has its own postcards that can be filled in and handed out.

Musketeer4 · 24-10-2016 02:10PM

Also my cousin told me recently that she put on her son's invitations that he didn't want expensive presents. All he wanted was €5. The parents were delighted and the birthday boy was able to buy a big lego set that was even too expensive for Santa. I'm thinking of adopting the same approach next year.

Wow. Just wow. Is this the stage things have gotten to?
It's crass enough when people put it on wedding invites that they just want money but now small children have started doing it too!

If I ever get an invite with an overt money request I'd make a point of giving feck all! It's the pits.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 24-10-2016 02:11PM

jakethepirate1 wrote: »

Also my cousin told me recently that she put on her son's invitations that he didn't want expensive presents. All he wanted was €5. The parents were delighted and the birthday boy was able to buy a big lego set that was even too expensive for Santa. I'm thinking of adopting the same approach next year.[/QUOTE]

To be honest, I don't really like the idea of asking guests to give money. I know they'd probably be spending at least a fiver anyway, but it still seems a bit utilitarian. I think children should learn to be grateful for whatever gifts they get, rather than seeing it as a way of making enough money to buy some expensive thing they're after.

But I realise I might be in the minority with this opinion, and it probably spares people a lot of hassle.

osarusan · 24-10-2016 02:11PM

Musketeer4 wrote: »

Wow. Just wow. Is this the stage things have gotten to?
It's crass enough when people put it on wedding invites that they just want money but now small children have started doing it too!

If I ever get an invite with an overt money request I'd make a point of giving feck all! It's the pits.

But everybody who goes to the party would bring either a present or a voucher, and in either case it would cost more than €5.

Children's Parties.

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