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Wishing an Ex a Happy Birthday?

  • 10-10-2016 10:55PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭


    I dated this girl for a year. We broke up, tried to be friends but I may have gotten a bit needy and expected too much from the friendship (i.e. foolishly thought we'd be best of buds!) so I decided it was best to cut contact for the good of both of us.

    We haven't spoken in a few months, but next week is her birthday. It's a big one (30), and I would feel pretty bad if I didn't wish her well on the day.

    I'm not looking to get back in a relationship because I think that ship has sailed from both our ends, but I don't want things to be sour between us either.

    Is it a bad idea to message her wishing her a happy birthday?


Comments

  • #2
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Do you regularly see her / is she still in a circle of friends?
    I would consider it then.
    If you've cut contact completely and don't even see her, I wouldn't bother.


  • #3
    Ciaran_B
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 1,518 ✭✭✭Ciaran_B


    She won't be interested. Don't do it.


  • #4
    Tilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,987 ✭✭✭Tilly


    Dont do it. I hated every year my ex sent me a happy birthday text. He was an ex for a reason.


  • #5
    timmy880
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 306 ✭✭timmy880


    Avoid doing this at all costs. Needless and looks a bit desperate.


  • #6
    GingerLily
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,766 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    You were needy after the break up, I don't think she'd appreciate you using her birthday as an excuse to make contact, and I do think that's how she'll view it.


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  • #7
    s15r330
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭s15r330


    GingerLily wrote: »
    You were needy after the break up, I don't think she'd appreciate you using her birthday as an excuse to make contact, and I do think that's how she'll view it.

    Do not do it!


  • #8
    gossamer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭gossamer


    There's always an intent behind sending an ex a birthday message, even if you won't admit it to yourself - whether that's a "remember me!" type thing or a way of re-establishing contact. I wouldn't do it. If you were over her, the day would come and you'd send her a quick message without much thought, but you've created a thread a week before. I would think she still plays on your mind quite a bit. Don't acknowledge it, it's not the end of the world if you don't.


  • #9
    GingerLily
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,766 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    If this really is your second thread on the topic then definitely don't, you're clearly still hung up on her and you need to deal with this before you can even consider communicating again.


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