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Impressing the opposite sex - insider tips.

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13

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    #62
    frozenfrozen
    Registered Users Posts: 7,882 ✭✭✭frozenfrozen


    OP did you remember to condition your pubes?


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    #63
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    And did you wear pointy shoes?


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    #64
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Maybe the episode of Narcos you watched was way ahead of where she is but she was too polite to say and now she's raging because you've screwed up her enjoyment of it.


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    #65
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    frozenfrozen wrote: »
    OP did you remember to condition your pubes?

    Tried that once and it resulted in what I can only describe as a deflated afro effect. Never again. Hair and body shower gel all the way now.


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    #66
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    BetsyEllen wrote:
    And did you wear pointy shoes?


    They're actually worse than the conditioner..ðŸ˜


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    #67
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Tried that once and it resulted in what I can only describe as a deflated afro effect. Never again. Hair and body shower gel all the way now.

    You should shave them anyway. Pubes are minging.


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    #68
    JimmysCar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19 ✭JimmysCar


    BetsyEllen wrote: »
    You should shave them anyway. Pubes are minging.

    Or use conditioner on then and a rub of the comb


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    #69
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    JimmysCar wrote:
    Or use conditioner on then and a rub of the comb


    And a nice side parting.


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    #70
    josip
    Registered Users Posts: 13,710 ✭✭✭✭josip


    Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »
    I've been trying this online dating malarkey recently. This evening involved inviting a lady I've met for four dates over for dinner. I really couldn't fault the meal myself. Top class. Fish starter, classic French meat course for mains, a light dessert to finish. The music was the type of soulful indie that we both like. I'd bulked up the book shelf with some fairly obscure works of literature to show that I read important books.

    We ended up watching an episode of Narcos. I made a passing remark that my belly was in danger of looking like Pablo's. Her Halo arrived and we said goodnight.

    I'm now considering committing a grievous act of self-love upon myself. What went wrong though? A real shcmuck here.

    Where the fcuk was the alcohol !?


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    #71
    BabyE
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 444 ✭✭BabyE


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Right, so I wake up to a text from this guy this morning. He's sweet, asking how my Halo was, and I text back saying 'I left it at home today' and a wink emoji (;)) to suggest I'm feeling a bit bold like. He has Dostoyevsky's entire bibliography in his living room so he's obviously smart enough to understand my text. We trade sexual texts back and forth, but then he invites me over for the Friday the 13th marathon tonight. Sorry but wtf like. "Soooo many murders," he writes on the text, thinking that it gets me wetter than a bag of old ice. He's gen-u-inely going to open his front door with a hockey mask and a kitchen knife in his hand, thinking he's deadly like.

    lmao what would expec from some nerd with an entire book collection.


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    #72
    Samaris
    Registered Users Posts: 6,544 ✭✭✭Samaris


    BabyE wrote: »
    lmao what would expec from some nerd with an entire book collection.

    Yeah, those nerds and their reading. Honestly, next people will be expected to know how to write too. And some of them even -enjoy- it. :(


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    #73
    kittensmittens
    Registered Users Posts: 2,074 ✭✭✭kittensmittens


    Shaved pubes on a bloke???
    Jaysus no....always makes it look like the last chicken left in Tesco's


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    #74
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    kittensmittens wrote: »
    Shaved pubes on a bloke???
    Jaysus no....always makes it look like the last chicken left in Tesco's

    Ha that made me laugh!

    I just have a thing about pubes. They make me feel ill - I'm not sure why.

    My last boyfriend shaved and I can't imagine ever going near a man with pubes again. Yuck.


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    #75
    MeatTwoVeg
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 861 ✭✭✭MeatTwoVeg


    BetsyEllen wrote:
    My last boyfriend shaved and I can't imagine ever going near a man with pubes again. Yuck.


    Your pool of potential partners has shrunk considerably.


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    #76
    DopeTech
    Registered Users Posts: 6,769 ✭✭✭DopeTech


    Did you put it in cider?


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    #77
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    MeatTwoVeg wrote: »
    Your pool of potential partners has shrunk considerably.

    I know :(


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    #78
    Bandana boy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,326 ✭✭✭Bandana boy


    Cocktail before the meal
    Wine with it , something red and big and bold .

    After the meal , to the couch but no TV , music and no soulful indie music either
    You need to be clear and nothing is clearer about your intentions than this song

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=746uWZseUTk

    A matched playlist to follow

    I can personally vouch for all of these

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glhdcJ7K3XM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEjBVzSJWy0

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxVNOnPyvIU


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    #79
    Bandana boy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,326 ✭✭✭Bandana boy


    BetsyEllen wrote: »
    I know :(

    Bring a razor with you on a night out and you get that pool back up to 100% in a jiffy !


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    #80
    jmayo
    Registered Users Posts: 13,155 ✭✭✭✭jmayo


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Play some Nick Drake, Vangelis or Stina Nordenstam, Dido or Air's Moon Safari.

    Women love that music. I think. But then I'm gay so what would I know?:pac:

    I've played that music and had lady friends try to come on to me even though they were aware I played for the other team...:o I have to add that copious amounts of wine were involved.

    Wine trumps music everytime.

    As for OP
    WTF were you doing ???

    You put all that work in cooking a three course meal trying to impress her and then you blow it by ending up listening to Radio fooking head.
    Soulful indie me ar** more like slit your wrists.
    Then you decide to follow up with an audition for Googlebox by watching Narcos.
    I will admit I didn't twig first what you watched, but when I checked it made it even worse.
    Holy Christ why didn't you really go all out and put on one of the Criminal Minds episodes with serial rapists to get her in the mood.

    Next time you invite someone over try out some romantic music and I don't mean fecking romantic classical composers, but someone like good old Barry White.
    And if both of you aren't cross eyed try the old eye contact bit and then lob the gob.

    EDIT: feck it Bandana boy beat me to it.
    And if OP does the same shyte again beatin it is all he will be doing.


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    #81
    Stigura
    Registered Users Posts: 3,413 ✭✭✭Stigura


    BetsyEllen; What ye doing tonight? I have my Wahl clippers to hand. And I can show ye my collection of books about the Waffen SS and Einsatzgruppen ;)


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    #82
    frozenfrozen
    Registered Users Posts: 7,882 ✭✭✭frozenfrozen


    Stigura wrote: »
    BetsyEllen; What ye doing tonight? I have my Wahl clippers to hand. And I can show ye my collection of books about the Waffen SS and Einsatzgruppen ;)

    she doesn't want you to shave your hands


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    #83
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    You were yourself OP. Not sure what else a person would want, i.e. you weren't some madeup character. Strange that you have to tick a very particular set of boxes nowadays.

    "You did A, B and C but then finished off with X and Y?! Ya big gobsheen!!!"

    What happens on the next couple of dates when you only tick 3/5 or 4/5? The stress and the hassle of that! Especially when you are only doing it to try and impress!

    What happens if you become a couple? Do you have to maintain that level of entertainment?


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    #84
    livedadream
    Registered Users Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭livedadream


    am i the only one that thinks doing back to someones house to watch tv on a first date is a bit odd?

    maybe she expected sex and you wernt offering?


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    #85
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Bandana boy wrote: »
    Bring a razor with you on a night out and you get that pool back up to 100% in a jiffy !

    Who's going to leave a drunk person at their balls with a razor :eek:


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    #86
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    tomwaterford wrote:
    Who's going to leave a drunk person at their balls with a razor


    Another drunken person?ðŸ˜


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    #87
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    MeatTwoVeg wrote: »
    Your pool of potential partners has shrunk considerably.
    That username...


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    #88
    For ever odd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 608 ✭✭✭For ever odd


    A spag bol and a good seeing too, is what was served in my gaff. Was quite happy if the same was served on a dinner date in their place.

    Keep it simple and let nature do the rest.


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    #89
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    JimmysCar wrote: »
    Lad, ye did everything wrong. Come out with Jimmy on a night out and I'll show ye how to pull a lovely philly. Gerrrup!

    Yes, blind leading the blind.....http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=101273139


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    #90
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    My beer bong skills always did the trick for me


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    #91
    BabyE
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 444 ✭✭BabyE


    Honestly in ireland being short ia basivally a death sentence for a guy especially in a country where rugby build is fawned over.


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