No meal choice on menu

We asked people in advance whether they wanted fish or veggie so the caterer had the right numbers. Could you do that?

The menu we chose had a choice of Seabass or Beef or Vegetarian meal (can't remember what it was). They gave us these choices at no extra charge, provided we ask guests prior to the wedding so we could give them rough numbers.

We just sent out a little menu choice card with the invites and then they could jot down any special dietary requirements also as we had some diabetics and coeliacs attending too.

I think if you ask on a wedding forum you'll generally get answers biased towards going all out on a wedding.
Some people tend to agonise over details when the reality is that the people that attend are by far the most important factor in making a good wedding.

Most people won't care at all about a choice. Very few people won't eat chicken.
You could always ask for a silent fish course to be kept in reserve for say 5% of the people attending.

I am surprised the venue won't offer a free starter alternative. Something like soup or melon is pretty cheap to make and offer.

Also, veggies will definitely know to ask for the veggie option.

Do guests know their is no choice?

I have been to 6 weddings this year and have 3 more to go before Xmas.

For the cost of attending a wedding I'd at least expect better than manky fish starter and chicken while fine for me won't be a hit with everyone.

Personally if I arrived to that standard of meal you'd see a substantialy lighter amount in the congrats card, and i know from asking friends how much they pit in their cards that a crap meal makes a difference with more than just myself.

recipesforme wrote:

Unfortunately we aren't getting married in a hotel. We're in a venue without catering and are hiring caterers in. We spoke about choices but in order to come in close to our budget we had to limit it. I really didn't think it would be this much of a wedding "faux-pas".

It isnt a major "faux pas"
We had pork as the main ,no choice,
No complaints ,in fact we had loads of compliments.... (we did outside catering too)
Its your day.. do what you like... obviously any special dietary requirments are usualy informed in advance so you can tell the caterer..
Dont worry about it, just enjoy.. and usually the simpler the better...

I don't think this is a big issue OP. Have a great day!

ash2008 wrote: »

Ah Jesus I think some of these replies are way harsh. As OP stated, the reason they cannot afford the second option is because they are helping pay the travel costs of some family members. That is more important to them, esp considering they've spent cheaply on other things such as rings, dress etc...

As someone who's had their fair share of crap meals at weddings (veggie who never gets a second option), I don't remember thinking badly of the couple, leaving a "lighter amount in the congrats card" (thats beyond a f*cking joke to be honest), or thinking the whole day was a disaster. Yes, people want a good time at weddings, but the main reason is to be there for the couple on their big day.

OP, there's enough to stress about planning a wedding, you will never keep everyone happy. Talk to the caterer about your concerns and see if there's anything you can do, but I think your family and friends will understand and hopefully appreciate the sacrifice you've made to have your family with you on your special day.

I was just thinking the same, people are being so harsh. I wouldn't give two flying f*cks if there was no choice at a wedding meal! Don't stress yourself out OP! Whether you have no choice or 5 of everything (have never seen that EVER and have been to a LOT of weddings the last 3 years) people will always find something to complain about!
And I agree "leaving a "lighter amount in the congrats card" " that's just plain rude.

OP I agree that the chicken main is a good one if there is no choice but I would have a word with the caterer about how they might handle any dietary requirements. I'm lactose intolerant and there have been a couple of weddings where I've gone hungry because every option or course had either milk, cream or butter involved. And just let your veggie guests know about the silent option for them.

I agree that the starter might not be everyone's taste but I don't think you need to go to a fairly boring veg soup - maybe just something a little less hit and miss. Although that said, you know your guests and maybe they'd love that. I know my family would!

Hope you have a great day.

racso1975 wrote: »

Op its your day!!! If people are there to judge your day on food and or music fuk'em you dont need friends like that. The same goes for people who alter their gift based on the food. FFS!!!

Dont fret. Go with your soup and chicken/parma selection. You have already made loads of sacrifices for the guests dont go putting extra financial or emotional stress on yourself over this!!!

Have a beautiful day and more importantly a beautiful marriage.

Id agree with this in almost everything except food. I've been to weddings with no options and i didn't eat the main course. I had to go get some food in the bar. A wedding is a long enough day without getting food.

I eat almost everything but I do notice the quality of food. I would much prefer one good option than two mediocre ones. The only wedding meals I remember for quality of food were actually the ones that had set menus. Now granted one of them was eight course tasting menu. It is hard to prepare good meal for 200 guests at the same time and frankly food is usually OK but nothing spectacular. If people remember an average hotel wedding for the food it actually makes me wonder what they eat otherwise.

So for me set menu isn't a problem but you do have to work a bit harder at making it above average.

I'm married almost 10 years and only 3/4 months ago someone mentioned how good our meal was, they reckoned they didn't have a wedding meal as nice as ours since lol.
We didn't have a choice. We got married between Christmas and new years and were gonna have a choice for just the main but couldn't decide on what to have. We knew our guests well as we cut the list to bits and ended up with less than 80. Nobody there that we "had to" invite, just people we wanted to invite.
We decided on beef early and were gonna have something else but didn't want fish, we knew it wouldn't be eaten, after that turkey/ham would have been scandalous as it was so close to Christmas and people would have been sick of it. The venue told us not to have lamb as it wasn unusual to have 2 red meats. After that it was chicken or pork. The chicken was ruled out as it was too close to turkey and the pork wasn't fancied by either of us. So in the end by a process of elimination we had one main, roast sirloin. It was cooked to perfection and a lot of people commented on it afterwards.
We had one veggie going and the venue said they'd have 6 dishes ready just in case which I think 3 of them were used. Can't remember exactly what it was but it was a white fish with a lemon sauce of some sort. We asked the veggie what it was like afterwards and she said it was beautiful.
Our dinner ended up as, veg soup, chicken vol au vent, roast sirloin and profiteroles.
Nice and simple but very well done.
If anyone had an issue with not having a choice they didn't tell us and we didn't hear anything about it from anyone else.
Personally if your starter was served up to me I wouldn't eat it, I really don't like salmon and a lot of people would be the same.
If you decide not to have the choice go for a simple crowd pleaser, it'll keep everyone happy and might even save a few bob.
All the best with what you decide on and have a great day.

I would maybe change the starter to something else. A good soup or something similar that would not be quite as costly as the salmon and hopefully the saving on that might allow for some choice in the main course.

Also, I know the invites have gone out but if you have the contact details of people could you not text them the option and be able to tell the cater exactly on many portions will be needed. Might be worth saying this to the carter at thr meeting.