Have you ever shoplifted?

05-07-2016 09:38PM #1

Yesterday I went into an unnamed SuperValu , and tried to buy my regular copy of Men's Health magazine and a bag of cheap pasta. Should have come to about seven quid, I think.

I tried to pay at the self-service checkout, but kept getting an error message. There was nobody around to assist me, so I waited. I was already in a hurry, and was getting a bit irritated, so I just left. And, purely out of frustration with that stupid machine, I kept the magazine and the pasta. Just couldn't give a fcuk.

It was the first thing I've stolen since I nicked a Gideon's bible from a Bewley's Hotel as a child. The guilt never left me, but I feel zero guilt about this episode.

Have you ever stolen anything? Why did you do it?

893bet · 05-07-2016 09:41PM

Nice try copper.

Mint Sauce · 05-07-2016 09:44PM

Sampled a couple of sweets from the pic n mix at woolworths as a child before deciding which ones to buy. I do wonder if this moment of madness led to their eventual closure.

mansize · 05-07-2016 09:45PM

Men's health- just for the articles though... Eh!

hairyslug · 05-07-2016 09:47PM

2 grapes from tesco, I'm the full time mad bastard

tomofson · 05-07-2016 09:48PM

I used to shoplift multiple things everyday when I was a kid lol But thats because I genuinely didn't have the money to pay for them.

dodderangler · 05-07-2016 09:49PM

I've done worse in my teens that I definitely am not proud of and hope no one else would try. It's not worth it. Never stolen clothes or anything but I have stolen food and drinks and things yes. All when I was a kid and a **** to society.

Robsweezie · 05-07-2016 09:59PM

robbed a cake from the school cake sale once.

MilesMorales1 · 05-07-2016 10:01PM

When I was 8 I think, I stole a pack of pokemon cards. My dad found them in my pocket when we left the shop and he broke my arm. I never stole anything since.

The flying mouse · 05-07-2016 10:03PM

Yes I was once a shoplifter, I was very strong...

Big Nasty · 05-07-2016 10:09PM

Tried to steal an ice cream from a convenience store when I was about 12. Got caught and had to give it back. Also tried to steal a tube of spray breath freshener when I was a similar age and trying to impress a chick. Security guard copped it and was following me around the store so I put it back. Never scored with said chick and she turned in to a complete mess of a girl in latter years. Sometimes I thank God (and a security guard) for unanswered prayers.

FortySeven · 05-07-2016 10:11PM

I used to get enough lunch money to buy ten fags so I would shoplift chocolate and sell it to get enough for a cone of chips for lunch. Got good at it. Stole loads more stuff over the years. Mainly food and alcohol. When I was homeless at 16 I looked about 12, I was hanging about with an old alchy called rab. I was watched if I went near the drinks aisle so he would go and put a bottle of blue label Smirnoff in a basket with a few other bits and then walk down the cereal isle where I would lift the vodka from the basket, sleeve it and meet him outside. He would drink almost the whole bottle in huge gulps and leave me about 2 inches in the bottom. We did that everyday for weeks until he fell over one day trying to dance and broke his arm.

I got caught once nicking a bloody kit Kat from Woolworths. I was just cutting through and did it on impulse. Store detective got me outside.

Once took a whole rack of levis. They were just inside the door and the counter was at the far end of the shop. Walked in, crouched down, lifted 10 pairs, turned and walked out.

Stopped all that though. Nowadays I sometimes hang the potatoes on the back of the trolley and forget about them but it is genuine forgetfulness. Still, I don't go back and pay.

dodderangler · 05-07-2016 10:13PM

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

When I was 8 I think, I stole a pack of pokemon cards. My dad found them in my pocket when we left the shop and he broke my arm. I never stole anything since.

He broke your arm?? Think stealing is last of your worries mate. Child abuse maybe something to look into.

whiskeyman · 05-07-2016 10:15PM

Do you even shoplift brah?

MilesMorales1 · 05-07-2016 10:16PM

dodderangler wrote: »

He broke your arm?? Think stealing is last of your worries mate. Child abuse maybe something to look into.

He was quite a volatile man. On the plus side, I never stole again.

BalcombeSt4 · 05-07-2016 10:17PM

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

When I was 8 I think, I stole a pack of pokemon cards. My dad found them in my pocket when we left the shop and he broke my arm. I never stole anything since.

I'd be more concerned about your dad breaking a childs arm rather than a pack of cards.

Shemale · 05-07-2016 10:28PM

A packet of sensations for my friends housemate who I really fancied and she had made dinner for us. We had a pile of drink with absynthe chasers and my mate convinced a very drunk me to just take them and go.

I picked them up, sprinted out the door with them under my arm turned into temple bar in full flight, it was lashing rain and I slipped burst the can in my pocket, my phone and mp3 broke from beer damage, stayed in my mates, knocked into the girl I fancied in my boxers (as my work trousers were drying) while she was in bed sober. Next morning I slept in, walked to work in beer soaked trousers sprayed in lynx, had my friends shirt which was much too big on and met a friends mam on the way. On the way home I went into the shop and told them I left without paying for the crisps the night before and gave them the money.

Karma got me and never did it again, unsurprisingly!!

The_Valeyard · 05-07-2016 10:31PM

If I was a giant, I would try it.

Swap the lidl and aldi, see if anyone notices.

Samsgirl · 05-07-2016 10:48PM

No but my daughter stole a cock ring from McCabes pharmacy when she was a baby. Only noticed after we were walking around the Crescent shopping centre for about half an hour. I heard a strange noise coming from the buggy like a crisp packet being waved and had a look to see which toy was making it.
Returned to pharmacy in fits of laughter to hand it back. The shop assistant thought it was hilarious also.

PowerToWait · 05-07-2016 10:49PM

BalcombeSt4 wrote: »

I'd be more concerned about your dad breaking a childs arm rather than a pack of cards.

Start a separate thread. This is about shoplifting.

I've never robbed from anywhere but I don't have any issue with someone who's a bit stuck taking food from somewhere. The old five finger discount.

dresden8 · 05-07-2016 10:57PM

Only unwittingly.

I was big into comics in the late 70s and early 80s. If my da won some money in the bookies he might give me a pound of so. That's about 10 comics worth at the time.

Bought a bunch of boy war oriented comics, Battle, Action, Victor, Starlord, 2000AD etc. Got home and found a Mandy, or somelthing like that inside one of my "man" comics.

TF I wasn't "girl shamed" by the shop-keep.

FortySeven · 05-07-2016 11:00PM

dresden8 wrote: »

Only unwittingly.

I was big into comics in the late 70s and early 80s. If my da won some money in the bookies he might give me a pound of so. That's about 10 comics worth at the time.

Bought a bunch of boy war oriented comics, Battle, Action, Victor, Starlord, 2000AD etc. Got home and found a Mandy, or somelthing like that inside one of my "man" comics.

TF I wasn't "girl shamed" by the shop-keep.

Buying that many boy comics just to hide your Mandy? Lightweight.

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000 · 05-07-2016 11:06PM

I stole a pair of sunglasses from Dunnes once. Mostly cos they were worth €2 but they wanted €14 for cheap China glasses...so I robbed em. Apart from that...when I was in school many years ago I nicked ice cream on a daily basis from the schools shop.

groucho marx · 05-07-2016 11:14PM

Ha that's pretty funny, I'd probably do the same
I stole this angel ornament from a pound shop years ago, egged on by my friends, I was so paranoid about getting caught I actually returned to the store and almost got caught trying to put it back in the exact spot I took it from. I always was a bit of a dope.

Irish Guitarist · 05-07-2016 11:28PM

I stole a Bon Jovi magazine from a newsagents when I was about 14. The owner of the newsagents was standing on a ladder changing a bulb or something. I was right underneath the ladder but I hoped I'd get away with it. I walked out with the magazine and I saw him walking after me. I legged it and threw the magazine on the ground. When I was sure I had lost him I headed home.

I didn't even particularly like Bon Jovi.

dresden8 · 06-07-2016 12:01AM

FortySeven wrote: »

Buying that many boy comics just to hide your Mandy? Lightweight.

Oh, my secret shame......

I thought I had bought forgiveness with "man" comics.

Don't judge me............

Is it too late to delete?

FortySeven · 06-07-2016 12:12AM

dresden8 wrote: »

Oh, my secret shame......

I thought I had bought forgiveness with "man" comics.

Don't judge me............

Is it too late to delete?

I once stole a bale of freshly delivered magazines from outside a newsagents in the early morning on my way home from an acid trip. I read all of them cover to cover. There were knitting magazines, boating magazines, gay softporn magazines, car magazines and a cosmopolitan.

I was 14 and living with my mother at the time. She found the gay ones a few days later and tried to have a 'talk' with me.

zSparc · 06-07-2016 12:15AM

Once in Austria, when I was 16... I still cringe when I think about it. Stupid I was.

YFlyer · 06-07-2016 12:18AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Yesterday I went into an unnamed SuperValu , and tried to buy my regular copy of Men's Health magazine and a bag of cheap pasta. Should have come to about seven quid, I think.

I tried to pay at the self-service checkout, but kept getting an error message. There was nobody around to assist me, so I waited. I was already in a hurry, and was getting a bit irritated, so I just left. And, purely out of frustration with that stupid machine, I kept the magazine and the pasta. Just couldn't give a fcuk.

It was the first thing I've stolen since I nicked a Gideon's bible from a Bewley's Hotel as a child. The guilt never left me, but I feel zero guilt about this episode.

Have you ever stolen anything? Why did you do it?

The Gideons would have visited your school and handed out pocket size bibles.

Blessed are those that wait.

YFlyer · 06-07-2016 12:23AM

BalcombeSt4 wrote: »

I'd be more concerned about your dad breaking a childs arm rather than a pack of cards.

Should have been a kick up the hole.

PTH2009 · 06-07-2016 01:26AM

Remember when they had the baskets of treat size bars which you bag yourself in the supermarkets a few years back ???

Had my fair share of free milky ways from these lol

Have you ever shoplifted?

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