how dependent are you on your parents still?

Mollyd90 · 22-06-2016 12:47PM #1

Just wondering on dependent are you on your parents.

I am in my mid 30s and completely independent but I know loads of people who are similar of age and still getting constant financial help from their parents these are people who are working. I'm not talking about people who are in bother because of losing jobs or because of hard times. eg one person I know got work done on their house and their parents gave them money towards it. another went a spent a heap on their credit card and her parents gave her money to clear it.

I know you never know what position people are really in but I would never dream of asking or accepting money from my parents at my age. I believe you should paddle your own canoe as best you can.

22-06-2016 12:48PM

Very. It's the best moonshine around.

Speedwell · 22-06-2016 12:48PM

Mollyd90 wrote: »

Just wondering on dependent are you on your parents.

I am in my mid 30s and completely independent but I know loads of people who are similar of age and still getting constant financial help from their parents these are people who are working. I'm not talking about people who are in bother because of losing jobs or because of hard times. eg one person I know got work done on their house and their parents gave them money towards it. another went a spent a heap on their credit card and her parents gave her money to clear it.

I know you never know what position people are really in but I would never dream of asking or accepting money from my parents at my age. I believe you should paddle your own canoe as best you can.

I believe families should help each other without regard to age.

Speedwell · 22-06-2016 12:48PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Very. It's the best moonshine around.

Well played

Rubberlegs · 22-06-2016 01:01PM

I wouldn't say I was dependent on my mother at all. Well, besides for being there, knowing that she is always on the other end of the phone. I do know that if I was ever stuck financially she would help me out in an instant, but I've never been in that situation. I'd be very independent in that I'm living away from home with a family of my own since I was 21. Since then, beyond emotional support, and once in a blue moon babysitting, I didn't depend on my parents at all.

Mr. CooL ICE · 22-06-2016 01:03PM

I was until I finished college, but not at all since. One of the things I wanted for a long time was independence. I don't like needing to rely on other people.

22-06-2016 01:08PM

I was incredibly emotionally dependent upon my mam. She was my world.

My dad does help me out financially. I consider myself very lucky in that regard. He has his faults, like us all, but I'm proud of him and proud to be his daughter.

greenbicycle · 22-06-2016 01:08PM

I sound a bit like that person you are talking about whose parents are contributing to building work. I didnt ask for it, they are just strongly insisting. Their reasoning for it is that they would rather contribute now when they are alive rather than leave it all as inheritance for the tax man to take half of. They earned their money and do not want it going to the state, they would rather it stays in their family.

I feel very lucky and grateful and very indebted to them.

In terms of emotional dependence, I dont know what I will do when they are gone, it is going to happen and I live in fear for it every day. I try and spend as much time with them as possible because they are two of my favourite people in the world and I value their opinions and their company.

sbsquarepants · 22-06-2016 01:10PM

Not at all - but then I am over 40, so I really shouldn't be!

PandaPoo · 22-06-2016 01:12PM

Not at all, which is a really good feeling. My mother was always rushing to help for anything reason but then would always use it against you later. So now I ask her for absolutely nothing, and I know that bothers her because she has that Irish mammy martyr complex.

My in laws are the opposite, we ask them to mind the kids sometimes and they either do it or they don't, and are very nice about it

22-06-2016 01:12PM

I think the only dependency me and the gfs have on the parents these days is for babysitting. I think we would be totally lost without that. Not that we over use it or anything. It is just _when_ we use it we normally really really need it.

I suppose any paid baby sitter would do the job just as well - but I think in general we just feel better with the kids grandparents doing it.

Other than that I think all dependency has been severed. Certainly no financial dependency any more.

Xyzforsure · 22-06-2016 01:14PM

No shame in asking the parents for a helping out when needed.

Id imagine it is more common in today's cash strapped society.

22-06-2016 01:15PM

It would be interesting to look at dependency upon partners.

Speedwell · 22-06-2016 01:16PM

My parents are both gone. I believed in doing the best I could too, and refused to turn to them for help except in really critical emergencies, but they refused to help even in those really critical emergencies (one of which was having to escape a violent relationship; I'm not talking about a bill being late or something). I would never treat a child of mine that way.

seamus · 22-06-2016 01:22PM

Dependent? No. But both sets of parents will sometimes throw some money at us because it's a special occasion or, "because you gave me a hand with that thing", or just because. We're in our mid-thirties.

I see nothing wrong with accepting it. As a parent myself, I would do it in a heartbeat for my children. Because the only thing I can do with my money is spend it on myself or my children. What's the point in sitting on it?

My own Dad is pretty good at spotting when things might be getting a bit tight and sticking some cash in my pocket, such as when we're getting work done on the house. I would never go into anything banking on anyone helping us out, but it's nice to receive when you do get it.

If they're in need of some help when they're older and fully dependent on a pension, I will return the favour without condition. Need a few grand to give the house a paint? Done. Dishwasher packed in? Here's a new one.

Shenshen · 22-06-2016 01:28PM

Not at all, I would say. I don't live in that same country as them, and haven't even spoken to my father in over 20 years now. They're separated, and I still have contact with my mother, but it's really just a phone call every couple of weeks to catch up, nothing more.

Hollister11 · 22-06-2016 01:32PM

Fully. I'm 20 and in college, while living a home. So other than the bit of cash i get when i'm working, I'm more or less fully dependent on them.

Lady is a tramp · 22-06-2016 01:33PM

I'm 30 now, I used to be really independent, was working from my young teens, paid my way through college etc, worked throughout my twenties, never wanted/needed much from them.

At the moment I'm going through a rough patch and they've had to help me out financially a bit. And are always there for me emotionally, which means a lot more.

I'll repay them eventually, both financially, and by making sure I stick them in a nice nursing home when the time comes! :cool:

kjl · 22-06-2016 01:47PM

For me I am not financially dependent on my parents, but I am definitly emotionally dependant on them.

I don't think I could go more than a few hours without talking to my Mum. When I moved out from home I bought an apartment less than 10 mins walk away. I call into the everyday for chats.

Recently I've been upset about something and really had nobody who I felt I could talk to except them. They are always on my side and really give great advice.

A lot of my friends thinks is strange talking to my parents so much, but the way I look at it is that I don't have an unlimited time left with them and I want to spend as much time as I can with them.

They are also pretty dependant on me. I am constantly being called over to fix a wifi or tv issue or help them with something.

mansize · 22-06-2016 01:49PM

Right now I'm in an independent position regarding my parents but I do things so them and they for me, so a healthily adult family relationship I think

RobertKK · 22-06-2016 01:52PM

My mother died 5 years ago and my father needs full time care which I contribute to.
My father and mother were great when they were around to help, couldn't do enough to help, but we all did the same for each other.

TMJM96 · 22-06-2016 01:59PM

Full dependent. I'm 20 and in college, living away from home. I'm also unemployed despite the amount of CVs I've handed out. Have been rejected for the grant two years in a row now too.

I try to do the odd cash in hand job or once off jobs now and again to try and have some savings for college. RedC surveys helped the odd time throughout the college year :rolleyes: €2 reward could get you a few packets of noodles in Aldi.

I feel terrible taking the money off my parents and plan on paying them back once I graduate and get a job (how long will that be though?)

r93kaey5p2izun · 22-06-2016 02:14PM

I'm not in any way financially dependent on my parents. They are pretty dependent on me though. I am probably too emotionally dependent on my mother. I see nothing wrong with families helping each other out if necessary, so long as nobody abuses it. For me that's a more desirable family structure than one where people are left to suffer or seriously struggle for no good reason other than insisting on independence at all costs.

Malari · 22-06-2016 02:16PM

I haven't been since I graduated. I have helped them and another family member out financially since then though! And we are all supportive for each other so I don't think there's a huge imbalance of dependence really.

andekwarhola · 22-06-2016 02:18PM

Completely financially independent of them for years. Rely on them sometimes (but not an outrageously) for help with the kids, babysitting and what not.

That said, they're getting older now and also rely on us now for stuff too, which is fine.

Winterlong · 22-06-2016 02:24PM

Right now my mother is dependent on me.
And that is ok.
I was dependent on her for long enough.

22-06-2016 02:52PM

Not financially dependent on them at all, but dependent on them and other family members for all other kinds of support.

The parents and grandparents try to fling money at me sometimes, but I resist. There may come a time when I need to accept it and if that happens, I'll be very grateful.

messy tessy · 22-06-2016 03:19PM

kjl wrote: »

For me I am not financially dependent on my parents, but I am definitly emotionally dependant on them.

I don't think I could go more than a few hours without talking to my Mum.

They are always on my side and really give great advice.

A lot of my friends thinks is strange talking to my parents so much, but the way I look at it is that I don't have an unlimited time left with them and I want to spend as much time as I can with them.

This is my relationship with my parents exactly! Would talk every day without fail, and rely on them more than any one else in my life for advice.

I am financially independent with about 5 years when I started working, and since I bought my car two years ago I would consider myself very independent. They put me through college and financed me living away from home for this, so I wouldn't dream now of asking for help. In saying that I know they would help out in a heartbeat if I was struggling.

caille · 29-06-2016 11:39PM

Not dependent on them financially, very dependent on my Mum emotionally, she is my best friend and when I eventually lose her, my world will never be the same. I have had a fractious relationship with both my parents, when young, but all resolved now and both of them have been really there for me, when I was in trouble. They helped me out financially some time back, and I have repaid them and they both know that I will help them with anything should they need it. They are both very fit and well and could pass for people 20 years younger, but I don't forget that they are getting on and won't always be around. Emotionally, the dependence on them, in particular, my Mum, is very strong.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 29-06-2016 11:51PM

I'm financially independent. When I'm sick, or sad, I'm not very independent at all. My parents aren't around but I'm very close to my partners parents. They treat me like I'm one of theirs and if I had a problem I could go to them

Harry Palmr · 29-06-2016 11:53PM

/knocks once for money
/knocks twice for washing to be done.

how dependent are you on your parents still?

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