Most embarresing thing you've ever said/done to a woman

Tellox

As the topic should suggest, whats the most embarresing thing you've ever said/done to a woman/man.. mine would be when I was waiting outside school with this wan, fairly good lookin, we were talkin away, when the subject of boyfriends/girlfriends came up. So she told me that she had a bf for 8months before she left for waterford, I asked did she like him, and then she said "Yeah, but he pressured me a lot for sex.." I didnt know what to say at this stage, and obviously she didnt mean to say that since she quickly asked me if I was a virgin. Most people that know me are probably laughing at the fact that I was actually ASKED this by a girl, to those who dont know me, I said "yip, you?" ... so she replied "no..my boyfriend pressured me into it", so I asked her what age she was when she lost it, and she said "13" and started laughing... at this stage I was getting fairly nervous myself thinking "wtf kind of conversation is this", so to follow up on the conversation I asked how long she was with her current bf at that time, and she said "oh, 5 months." Then, a sudden silence went over us, and it was the most embarresing thing ever. At that time. So I got really nervous and started looking around me, thinking of ANYTHING remotely interesting to happen to talk about... a good 40seconds passed since I said anything, and at this stage I was willing to talk about a kitten that ran across the road outside the school. Suddenly, The rabbits behind the controls in my head went into overdrive, and had a major meltdown, So in all stupidity, I said "Was he any good?"

Then she looked at me and I said "...Please swallow me ground..." then she started pissing herself in laughter and told me of how it hurt her more then anything. Luckily, unlike most women, she didnt run off and say "what a bloody oddball", she just laughed to herself for a while and then we continued on to another topic.

So what about you lot then?

PH01

Cool story.

Can't think of any embarrassing moment, as I've probably blanked it from my mind.

Though my wife does love to take the pïss out of me for mispronouncing 'lovage' in a restaurant. I though it was French and then proceeded to have a bit of a Del-boy moment right in front of the waiter, I said 'low-vagg'. The wife burst out laughing. The waiter smirked as he left. Little did I know that it was pronounced the way it's spelt - 'lovage', as in 'cabbage'.
Very embarrassing at the time and it still is, though not on the scale of '...was he any good?'.

BKtje

I can't rival, 'was he any good' but i'll tell ya mines anyway

Was at a sports dinner where all the rugby and hockey players , well had dinner. There was this young lad (or who i thought was a lad ne way) with short spikey hair and had general appearance of a 13 yr old boy all the way to a squeeky voice.

Any ways long story short saw him(her) walking into the ladies, i called after him(her) and told him(her) of his(her) mistake as that was the ladies. The people standing outside the toilets went silent and all looked at me. I realised almost straight away what i'd done and calmly walked back to the table before getting all errr flustered i guess.
i apologised later on and said it was a bad joke (or something).

It was probably worse for her than for me but i really was embaressed and felt bad for weeks afterwards. I naturally avoided her whenever i saw her.

Lafortezza

Was this a Trinity college sports dinner by any chance, cos the person in question sounds like someone I knew when I was there, and its a bloody easy mistake to make...

DRakE

omg, ul both of ye
Haven't done much wrong aprat from spilling the odd drink on a girl.. which is acceptable kinda (well, at least i didn't ask was her boyfriend any good )

elexes

good god the list is endless

when i was younger and smaller walked straight into my teachers big "cough"

one very drunk time girl was shifting me . she gets up to switch position to where i finaly come 2 and see her and say

vicky its u nice to see ya !! a ur leavin a well sorry to see you go

just after that a friend came over and told me what had just happened to where i went into the fits of laughter

been very drunk around girls

gotton sick all over a x's makup ... she didnt need it anyways

thers loads more ... just give me a few secs and ill think of em

TomTom

vomited on a girl once by acident, she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

PalerPaul

When i was walking out of a club with a girl, we crossed the road and I got knocked down, going flying over the bonnet and falling off the side. I was doing so well up to that point. Two days in hospital didnt help either...

lola d

TomTom while you are there, please give us a call 2morrow in work.

nothing urgent so don't panic.:cool:

PalerPaul

Drunk driver by the way, was speeding..........

darthmise

There was this girl i proper fancied when i was a kid... maybe 8 or 9 i was. I was always trying to get her attention.

One day she was talking to this guy who was a couple of years older than me, and he was being cheeky to her as i saw it. So i told him to cut it out, but before i even finished the sentence he punched me in the gut, i went down like a sack of spuds. Embarrasing.

There was also the day i was on my bike and knicked a rose from a garden. So my plan was to fly past her on the bike, throw the rose at her and speed off again. I flew past, threw the rose, and went straight into a lamp post.

But i'll never forget the day we were playing footie against the big gate (6 ft-ish) at the end of her road. The ball went over the gate so i decided to impress her by climbing over the gate.
I got over the gate no bother, but on the way back i was perched on the top of the gate, and thought a jump from here would look right good. So i jumped, but on the way down i got caught on the top of the gate. I nearly made rashers of my arse. i was left dangling from my white y-fronts which had been ripped out through a hole in the tracksuit leggins.
When they finally gave way i ran home with the white tail of my jocks hanging out.


And all for the same girl.

Elmo

I was out shopping xmas before last. I was walk around the shop and saw one of the shop assistance doing up one of the shelfs. She had a mark on her face. And I was thinking to myself that her work mates where so mean in allowing her to work with a bit of ink on her face so i went over to the girl and said sorry excuse me but you've got a bit of ...... as i got closer to the girl I realised that it was a mole. I just stopped and said I am just a F ucking eejit dont mind me really very sorry.

elexes

Originally posted by darthmise

There was also the day i was on my bike and knicked a rose from a garden. So my plan was to fly past her on the bike, throw the rose at her and speed off again. I flew past, threw the rose, and went straight into a lamp post.

classic ... like a movie only better
btw did u ever get her in the end ???

Samba

Asked what her name was 10 times (no joke) I was borderline to blacking out.

flangeman

Not exactly to a girl, but I used to work for a company in Dublin, and I don't know what it was wrong wit me, but I used to be a right clumsy oaf whenever we went out, I managed to spill 2 pints over my vp in one night and fairly decorated other members of my team on other occasions.

Also managed to spill half a pint of Harp(I think it was) over one of the lap dancers in Strings, she went nutz(not that she had any clothes on her to wet or anything, but she ripped up to of my 'tokens') and the other half over a punter 5 minutes later, again on a 'kinda' work night out.

Honestly I'm lucky I still have my head on my shoulders, I really am.

Thing is ANY other time I'd go out with ANYBODY else not from work, I'd never spill a drop EVER.

I dunno guess I'm just cursed.

Regards

F

Panda

hmmm, "Most embarresing thing you've ever said/done to a woman"

was a bit naieve back in the day of 6th class in national school and this one time i asked this very good lookin girl out to some sort of youth disco.
trouble was her friends over heard....

that really,really embarassed her, she hasnt said two words to me since.......
and thats prolly 10 years ago....
just call me Mr. Smooth.


this other time,
one day in secondary school at lunch time,
i was talking to this girl and her fat friend came over and was about to sit down,
for absolutley no reason at all, i pulled the seat from under her before she sat down......
1 almighty thud later, she was a blubbering mess and the guilt was hitting hard.
all i could do was laugh and that ended up in louder crying.

daveJAM

she quickly asked me if I was a virgin. Most people that know me are probably laughing at the fact that I was actually ASKED this by a girl,

Roffle, Thanks Tiz that brightened up a very boring day in college.

Cabaal

Originally posted by Tizlox
she quickly asked me if I was a virgin. Most people that know me are probably laughing at the fact that I was actually ASKED this by a girl

Well it made me laugh

good story btw...

ozpass

Wandered into Burger King in Oldham many moons ago, utterly drunk and looking for some scran. I swaggered up to the counter and ordered my Double Whopper with cheese. As I was ordering, the girl serving me started looking to the right over my shoulder with a glassy stare.

"Pretty rude" I thought, so I shuffled left to meet her gaze and placed my order once more. She looked puzzled and once again averted her eyes over my right shoulder with a blank expression. I moved (by now reaching the far and of the counter) and angrily barked "Are you going to give me the f**king burger or not?"

Unfortunately the poor girl was massively cross-eyed, with the result that she was looking directly at me whilst appearing to gaze 'stage right'! She burst into tears at what, in retrospect, must have appeared to be a cruel jape and I was escorted out of the restaurant.

The "crowning turd in the drainpipe" (pun fully intended) was that a friend of mine had gone directly upstairs to use the bathroom and (thanks to a stomach upset) literally pebbledashed an entire stall, before falling asleep.

Dr. Loon

Myself and a friend used to paint figures in his kitchen (orcs and barbarians and crap - anyone remember hero quest?) at the bar area. We'd sit in silence, heads down painting away. One day, his older brother and girlfriend came into the kitchen and were in the main area making tea. We said how's it goin and continued painting.

Then the two of them started messing, the brother tickling the gf or some shít, and she kept squealing "OOOoooowwww, stop that, stop it!!" This went on for a while, and then I heard them leave the room. A minute after they'd left, I started imitating the girlfriends voice except more irritating, my friend just was laughing fairly heartily. This went on for about two minutes, when I looked up, realised my friend was laughing at me, and that the girl was still in the kitchen!! :eek: That was very bogey.

Carbiens

bit some one and drew blood!

i thought it was hilarious at the time!

daveg

I cant think of anything off the top of my head (but you can be sure there is loads) except for - I met my GF for lunch today and tripped up on the stairs of the restaurant. Fell flat on my face. Very embaressing. She laughed all through lunch.

KdjaCL

hmm where oh where to begin.

i number them for indexing there is that many:(

1. was about 14 meeting some girl and was a bit shy in actually kissing here eventually she said after about 2 hours "are you gonna kiss me or wha" i mumbled some half assed story nad looked for that big hole in the ground.

2. was staying at a girls house while her parents where away eventually there was only 3 of us in the house ,we were on the parnets huge waterbed and talking about sex positions (i was a virgin so why i was talking about em i dunno) anyway eventaully we using each other as sex dummies to demonstrate certain positions and the convo got around to 3somes and one of them said something to me that it took 3 days for me to realise she had offered me a 3some with those 2. BUGGER

3. present GF(hope she reads this s******r sn******r) told me she loved me for the very 1st time in a really romantic moment i said "thanks"

4. accidently bit above Gfs breast and made it bleed.

there are more a lot more will post em when i think of em.

kdjaC

azezil

Originally posted by Tizlox
she quickly asked me if I was a virgin. Most people that know me are probably laughing at the fact that I was actually ASKED this by a girl,

hmmm i missed read that the first time, but i pressed reply i'll laugh anyway HAHAHAHAHAHA


My most recent was at Lawnkiller's bday, searrard was chatting up this young wan for ages, she was paying more attention to me (:p) so anyway, i was having a laugh but then decided to drink off 5 coctails about 15mins later i puked all over her jacket and needless to say i had to leave b4 i got the **** kicked outta me!

Velvet Vocals

Has anyone noticed that it's only guys that have posted here, either women are too embarrassed to post their stories or they just have it together and don't do embarrassing things.
When I had to think about it, I could think of loads of embarrassing things, that's guys had done in front of me, but I couldn't actually think of anything embarrassing that I'd done.... So maybe its just a guy thing…..

Gordon

It's also to do with the amount of females on boards being relatively low compared to males I'd say.

Velvet Vocals

That's pretty interesting, I wonder what the ratio is....
someone should run a poll and find out if there's that big a difference, I'd hate to think I was a woman alone:D

elexes

dono maby 100 girls total on boards woho my 1900 post

and the convo got around to 3somes and one of them said something to me that it took 3 days for me to realise she had offered me a 3some with those 2. BUGGER

sigh id hate that

stormkeeper

When I was either a first or second year in school (can't remember) I was in this room talking to a few people from the same year as I was back then, but anyway one of the guys there was saying something to this really good looking girl and she says to me "I like a man with muscle" and because I was so embarressed, I just laughed... Looking back on it, I feel like a fool thinking back on it now...

(of course, if I could, I'd go back in time and change that moment... But I cant, so eh...)

tman

threw a cactus at this girl i was with... can't remember why.
(she's avoided me everytime i see her after that night:( )

Originally posted by darthmise
There was this girl i proper fancied when i was a kid... maybe 8 or 9 i was. I was always trying to get her attention.

One day she was talking to this guy who was a couple of years older than me, and he was being cheeky to her as i saw it. So i told him to cut it out, but before i even finished the sentence he punched me in the gut, i went down like a sack of spuds. Embarrasing.

There was also the day i was on my bike and knicked a rose from a garden. So my plan was to fly past her on the bike, throw the rose at her and speed off again. I flew past, threw the rose, and went straight into a lamp post.

But i'll never forget the day we were playing footie against the big gate (6 ft-ish) at the end of her road. The ball went over the gate so i decided to impress her by climbing over the gate.
I got over the gate no bother, but on the way back i was perched on the top of the gate, and thought a jump from here would look right good. So i jumped, but on the way down i got caught on the top of the gate. I nearly made rashers of my arse. i was left dangling from my white y-fronts which had been ripped out through a hole in the tracksuit leggins.
When they finally gave way i ran home with the white tail of my jocks hanging out.


And all for the same girl.

best story yet..brilliant, sorry for your misfortune though

TellyBingo

Like most ppl here said, I was too drunk to really remember most silly things ive said to people, but I know i have done/said many a silly thing that didnt go down too well

popinfresh

I remember when i was 14, I was on the train coming back from wexford. And I was sitting beside this fine b1tch that I kind of knew. Anyway she fell asleep, and after a while she kind of used my shoulder as a pillow, and somehow she gradually dived face first into my crotch. For like 20 mins . I didn't know like whether I should wake her up or not, and here I was trying to contain a bonner. It was very aquard when she did wake up...

DRakE

Originally posted by popinfresh
I remember when i was 14, I was on the train coming back from wexford. And I was sitting beside this fine b1tch that I kind of knew. Anyway she fell asleep, and after a while she kind of used my shoulder as a pillow, and somehow she gradually dived face first into my crotch. For like 20 mins . I didn't know like whether I should wake her up or not, and here I was trying to contain a bonner. It was very aquard when she did wake up...

aahahahahahhahahaha

you = legend.

Runfree

Well the most embarrasing thing I ever did was:

I was out millenium eve. I was off the planet drunk. My parents were with me aswell(i was 17 at the time). I met this girl anyway(story was she wasn't great looking but I was drunk) made a complete fool out of myself was touching her tits at one stage in front of my father at one stage. He was furious at me and wanted to kill me. Then they went away and I stayed back. Then she had to leave and asked me if I go for a drink at her house saying she would be home alone and like the drunk eejit I replied "No thanks, I'm alright"

What the F**K was I thinking. thing is she was 26 aswell and that ment great expierence but no I was a f**cking eejit and said no.

Sangre

Whats a woman?

petes

this is a story about a friend of mine(there are many about me but this is better).We were out 1 night and had a lot to drink.Naturally.Well there was this absolutely gorgeous girl that my friend was talking to.We were amazed watching him.he was ****faced but getting away with it.slowy but surely he got drunker and drunker.But as he says the next he thought he was going to get sick but didnt want to leave as he thought hed lose her.what did he do.grabbed her handbag(from her arm!!!) opened and filled it to the brim with vomit.Classic


Petes

seamus

When I was about 16, I was in some undisclosed pub (:p) and this young lady that I knew through friends came over and started chatting to me. I was locked, and couldn't pick out the obvious 'I think she likes you factor' that my mates had noticed.

So she comes up to me and goes, "Hi, my name's (whatever). "
Me: "Oh yeah, you're a mate of (soandso), they're always talking about you." (they were always talking about her cos she's a very good looking girl). Her (with a happy, expectant look on her face): "Oh really? What do they say." Me (slurring my words somewhat): "They say......they say......you're a ****ing ride."

Cue her face instantly dropping, and her turning around and talking to her mates and never looking at me again.

Shudder....:)

Myg

STUPID things i have done:

1- This was about a year and a half ago.... While sitting in the jacuzzi in westwood a damn good looking girl comes up to me, she was working as a lifeguard at the time. It started well, i fancied her and all. She starts chatting me up and i ask her if she smokes, she sorta tried to avoid an answer, but she finally said "yes" and i blurted out "I hate smokers" and things got really akward.... and then she just leaves. *sigh* i hate being such a bastard.

2- I gave a girl on the bus i usualy take, my number, by writing it on the paper ticket and chucking it to her. She contacts me later and asks if i want to go to the cinema, so i go along with this. She shows up with 2 of her friends and i was immediatly thinking "bad news". This really annoyed me and i was a muppet the whole time repeating stuff they said and acting like a jerk..... *long deep sigh*

3- I saw this fairly good looking girl on the bus, she was wearing a long dark red/brown leather coat which went down to the knees. I really liked her eyes, so i go up to her at the stop she got off at; ask her, her name, she looks at me like im a wierdo and replies.... it goes with the silly smalltalk for a few moments and then my brain locks up and there is silence for atlest 30 seconds and she walks off laughing at me.

Pugsley

Originally posted by petes
this is a story about a friend of mine(there are many about me but this is better).We were out 1 night and had a lot to drink.Naturally.Well there was this absolutely gorgeous girl that my friend was talking to.We were amazed watching him.he was ****faced but getting away with it.slowy but surely he got drunker and drunker.But as he says the next he thought he was going to get sick but didnt want to leave as he thought hed lose her.what did he do.grabbed her handbag(from her arm!!!) opened and filled it to the brim with vomit.Classic


Petes

rofl, i think he lost her after that, and got a slap for his troubles

ArwenEvenstar

Lmao!

Well reading this lot was defo a good start to a crappy morning at work....
I've seen some fairly funny moments, and some really really pathetic ones, but these are priceless!

All I can say is we can probs match all of this in our own, unique( read: pissed) ways.
As a matter of interest, how many boards girls are there? I have a sneeking suspicion that we may be an endangered species alright.

But KdjaC - passing up a threesome like that....ain't that illegal in 49 states?:p
lol

The Sweeper

Was leaving my job and my pal thought it would be a good idea to set up a meeting between me and this bloke she knew who had his own business. She gives him my email, he mails me, we swop light conversation back and forth for a bit, then we arrange to meet up.

I'm working in D4 at the time, so we pick a prominent hotel and arrange to meet in the bar at lunchtime. My friend had described him to me as 'good looking, nice car, attached, v. professional'. So I get to the bar first and order me a Manhattan (treating self, was last day at work) and am thoroughly enjoying my maraschino cherry when this bloke rocks up. He parks his little bathtub Porsche and saunters into the bar like he owns the place.

/me gulps down cherry, swigs drink and straightens up, v. professional.

Over he comes, orders me another drink and addresses the first five minutes of his conversation to my t1ts. Deep joy. I drone on in a disinterested monotone about my work experience to date and what sort of excellent contracting I could do for him. He watches me as opposed to talks to me and just as I think 'this is a dead loss, time to go' he leans in and says,

"If you were to work for me, would you f**k me?"

He says this just as a lounge girl arrives at the table. She freezes, I freeze, then I look up brightly at her and say 'Can I have another Manhattan please?" and then, thinking I'm smooth, turn and say to this guy "I don't think it's a good idea if I work for you."


...just my luck that he takes that answer to mean "I don't mix business with pleasure so I don't want to work with you because I want you to take me on the table right now".

He pulled his chair right in under the table and spent the rest of lunch dry-humping my knee with his crotch, while I sat in a whiskey cocktail haze and watched Albert Reynolds, one table over, having a conversation on the phone with someone about an 'envelope', I kid you not.

"Surreal" doesn't even come close.

s0l

i suppose my most recent embarassing moment over a girl would a few weeks ago, i get completely plastered on brandy and some other substances, at 2 am i call my girlfriends house, and spend 10 minutes talking to her mum about why i want to talk to her, all the time while lying on the ground with, as i remember it, pink floyd playing in the back ground =/
no where near as bad as most of the other stories, but i'm only young, give me some time

DapperGent

Originally posted by seamus
So she comes up to me and goes, "Hi, my name's (whatever). "
Me: "Oh yeah, you're a mate of (soandso), they're always talking about you." (they were always talking about her cos she's a very good looking girl). Her (with a happy, expectant look on her face): "Oh really? What do they say." Me (slurring my words somewhat): "They say......they say......you're a ****ing ride."

ROFL
Thats awful funny.

Snowball

ljhfeaouhsakd blah jakhdfwoha ohasdfhohaesf hsajhd blah blah ohsaodihowda uhoasdh oisa poas blah blah blah.... and so on

She was a stunner (u know the kinda beauty that makes u drop 99% of ur IQ through the floor) and I was mushy brain for a few seconds till I got my composure and walked away with as much dignity as I could muster and that was not much