Got any questions ? .. . Killing Stereotypes

yellum

While hoping this won't turn all trollish, does anyone have any questions for the GLB members about how we think/act/exist ?

This is aimed at the straight members who might just want some clarification on some matters.

example:
Q: If you are a guy and lwear leather pants, have long hair and wear mascara are you gay ?
A: Nope, not at all. Thats just an indvidual who likes this look

Get the idea .....

Pepe LeFrits

What's with the voice thing ?

Gordon

Great post idea.

I am curious if homosexual men like women's breasts. Sorry if this seems silly but I personally love breasts and couldn't imagine not loving them.

Do you appreciate female bodies at all?

Terminator

This is stupid.

Gordon

Sorry, I am serious though.

Shinji

This is stupid.

No it's not, it's a perfectly sensible topic. One of the main problems most gay people have is that straight people don't actually understand what it means to be gay (beyond the obvious).

Mike; in my experience that's an affectation that a relatively small number of (usually highly effeminate) gay men have. I don't think it's natural - rather it's an attempt to conform with a comfortable gay stereotype, just like a straight person might conform with a specific type of stereotype. Not all gay people are camp; and not all camp people are gay

Gordon; if you see a stunningly good looking bloke, can you say to yourself "god that's a handsome guy" (even if you don't say it out loud for fear of people getting the wrong idea )? AFAICS that's how it is for gay men and attractive women - it doesn't make you blind to beauty in the opposite sex, it just means you aren't necessarily sexually attracted to it.

Gordon

Ye thats what I think too, I do find some blokes good looking but I don't think sexually of them or feel aroused by them. I'm sure that's the other way round too but...

What about breasts? Are they just insignificant growths?

Shinji

What about breasts? Are they just insignificant growths?

I'm sure they're very aesthetically pleasing

yellum

I have nothing against breasts. They're symbols of sexuality in the western world and environmental conditioning or something makes me appreciate them.

Hell, a womans natural body is something to be appreciated, just like a blokes. Aesthetics yes.

Terminator

Originally posted by Shinji
No it's not, it's a perfectly sensible topic. One of the main problems most gay people have is that straight people don't actually understand what it means to be gay (beyond the obvious).

Good post Shinji. I guess I have a lot of negative memories associated with some of the comments posted - a few of which have since been deleted.

Also, I didn't think that we would have to explain ourselves (so early on) to everyone else.

But given the fact that we're part of the main site, and not hidden away in communities, I suppose some people are gonna be curious :eek:

Gordon

Quite. But you don't have to explain yourselves to anybody, it's just nice to educate the masses.

I'm also curious as to the voice "thing". I would have thought on the same lines as Shinji but am curious to see what a homosexual person thinks of the subject. (as I can only believe Shinji is hetero coz he's being so vague about the truth )

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Terminator

Oh yes, that Dale Winton / Gay Al voice thing ... basically its a feminine characteristic that a relatively small number of gay men have.

And its not restricted to gay men - some straight men have it aswell. Maybe it has something to do with being surrounded by girls and doing girly things. I dunno.

Shinji

Also, I didn't think that we would have to explain ourselves (so early on) to everyone else.

It's not a case of explaining yourself really... Understanding promotes tolerance in my experience. How many homophobes have suddenly become entirely accepting of it when they discover that a friend is gay and begin to understand what it actually means?

as I can only believe Shinji is hetero coz he's being so vague about the truth

Ahhh, that's just my aura of mystique

To expand on the voice thing - the person I know with the worst case of that is a friend of mine called Tim. I knew him for ages online and then met him at a party... He's a linux admin and ex-EQ addict and I'd expected a gruff fat bloke with a big beard. Instead, he's a (quite good looking) disco bunny in a tight black t-shirt who can dance till he drops to the cheesiest music ever and has THE campest julian clary type voice ever - and actually has all the affectations of a stereotype gay man, right down to "ooooh behave". I kid ye not.

He's straight. It took me a while to believe this

His reasoning is that he was raised in a family with multiple older sisters and no brothers, so for a lot of his life all his socialising was with girls. So I guess that's the reason in a lot of instances...

logic1

Originally posted by Gordon
but am curious to see what a homosexual person thinks of the subject. about the truth )

Sure Shinji already told you

.logic.

Jak

Leaving the gay aspect aside,

Do you folk not find the camp voices and behaviour insanely irritating? 2 People I know very well are gay. 1 is camp as bejaysus, and it has gotten worse since he 'came out'. Not many of us really liked the guy that much beforehand, but now, we just keep hoping he might go 'back in'.

The other is as he was before I found out, just gay, but still the same bloke and a great laugh to go for a drink with etc. Nothing changed in his character and we still are friends.

I think a problem a lot of you have is you change who you are on top of being gay, and thay may be part of the reason you find people who no longer want to associate with you.

If you are a gay bloke fine. But why act like a woman? If anything wouldn't that be a turn off for you?

JAK.

Typedef

Originally posted by Shinji
Instead, he's a (quite good looking) disco bunny in a tight black t-shirt who can dance till he drops to the cheesiest music ever

Now wait just a second officer, I like to rave, but I don't necessarily think that makes me gay.

Granted I had this one friend once, when I was young and wilder that I 'might' have done it with, but, then again, I'm straight, so that was a bit of a misnomer.

Just on the Campness, yes it could get up your nose, but for me it's not so much campness that would get up my nose as aggressive dikes.

Somehow aggressive dikes are really threatening. I don't as a general rule of thumb find gay blokes threatening, but some dikes, I dunno, I always get the feeling that the butch ones hate me, because I'm a man. A feeling that is probably not too far from the truth, then again, maybe that is just the feeling I get. Maybe it's just me who feels threatned by butch dikes. Maybe a bit of both.
</epiphany>*
*bwhahaha

azezil

would ya ever come on to a guy that was straight?

does my bum look big in this?

logic1

I feel more threathened by Dutch Bikes but that's neither here nor there.

As regards to campness personally I find it massively irritating. So much so that when a friend of mine comes out with us I usually split from the group because I'm never far from telling him to **** off.

It's alot to do with his character aswell but the whole fake girly acting is a big part of it.

.logic.

DeVore

God I cant even stand *women* who do the whole giggly-gurl thing. Its *intensely* irritating.

I want to throttle those really camp guys, grab them by their throats, shake them and scream *WAKE UP!!* at them.

But then I want to do that to a LOT of people

DeV.

ps: the reason I put this forum in the main area was so that straight people can come here and ask questions too... I think the main reason there is hatred (of anything) is ignorance.
Communication is the cure for that...

Shinji

Now wait just a second officer, I like to rave, but I don't necessarily think that makes me gay.

Yeah, but there's a difference between someone who likes to rave, and a disco bunny in a tight top who dances with one hand in the small of his back

The uber-camp thing really annoys me in some ways. People who are naturally a bit camp, that's fine, but the whole hamming it up girly act is stunningly annoying. I think it probably annoys normal gay guys a lot more than it annoys straight people actually, because they feel like they're being tarred with this brush...

would ya ever come on to a guy that was straight?

Would you ever come on to a lesbian?

BuffyBot

Originally posted by azezil
would ya ever come on to a guy that was straight?

does my bum look big in this?

To question one: yes I have done - but only because I thought they were bi or I was completely pissed, or both.


To question two: yes

Mr.Applepie

And its not restricted to gay men - some straight men have it aswell. Maybe it has something to do with being surrounded by girls and doing girly things. I dunno.

I have a friend just like shinji's. Completely camp. he has the voice everything. His idea of good music is britney gareth gates etc. yet im nearly 95% certain he is straight

yellum

Originally posted by Jak


Do you folk not find the camp voices and behaviour insanely irritating?

If it seems forced and fake yeah, same as anything else thats forced and fake. I also hate D4 accents from recruitment agents no matter what county they're in. Many things can irritate me. I try to be tolerant though if people do not mean what they are doing or are not putting on some fake persona.

While coming out makes people mmore relaxed about their sexuality, it can also mean adjusting to a new social group and trying to fit in, I'm only guessing here but I guess if someone assumes the camp stereotype they may think thewy can fit into the gay community better then. Seems sad really that people break free of their closet only to act out a straight world stereotype.


Not many of us really liked the guy that much beforehand, but now, we just keep hoping he might go 'back in'.

Maybe its only now that he feels more relaxed to be his "true self", people can change when they come out as its freedom. They want to do things they'd never do before that feels moe natural for them.


Nothing changed in his character and we still are friends.

Am not looking to cause an argument here but you seem to be opposed to change or people expressing themselves. I agree theres forced campness from some but some people are naturally like that, and as Shinjii said some are straight !


I think a problem a lot of you have is you change who you are on top of being gay, and thay may be part of the reason you find people who no longer want to associate with you.

!

yellum

Originally posted by azezil
would ya ever come on to a guy that was straight?

does my bum look big in this?

Yeah, have done, will prob do again. Wouldn't come on strong though. Sometimes they're no longer straight after you come on to them.

Must meet you sometime, heard you're cute.

Jak

To clarify,

When i say change on top of etc.. I am refering to my earlier point about being camp, the gay voice, ooh la la etc. And when i said one friend hadn't changed, I meant to say he hadn't become a handbag wearing queen.

I simply cannot stand it, and I was wondering why they do it?

It's all a bit forced in my view, and while comedians such as Julian clary or Graham Norton can get away with it, regular folk and that bloke who does the intermissions on ITV cannot.

JAK.

DapperGent

Right stereotypical questions:

In your opinion:
Are gay men more promiscous than straight men?

Is it easier to score in a gay nightclub?

Do gay men have more one night stands than straight men?

Does sex come into play earlier in a homosexual relationship than a heterosexual one?

Are gay men generally better looking than straight men?

Are gay men generally more artistically talented (music, poetry etc) than straight men?

Don't mean to offend anyone I'm just curious.

De Rebel

Originally posted by DapperGent


Replies in BOLD

Right stereotypical questions:very stereotypical !

In your opinion:
Are gay men more promiscous than straight men?
Some are, some aren't

Is it easier to score in a gay nightclub?
For the vultures, YES, for the less confident, shy, young, older, handicapped, not so good looking, etc, etc, (i.e. the NORMAL)probably about the same: Nightclubs are intimidating for the majority, no matter what

Do gay men have more one night stands than straight men?
Some do, some don't

Does sex come into play earlier in a homosexual relationship than a heterosexual one?
Depends - for many guys who are in/inish the closet YES, because their only venture out of the close is for a bit of the quare thing. For gay guys who are IN a relationship, I'd say its about the same as for straights, sometimes sex leads to love, sometimes love leads to sex

Are gay men generally better looking than straight men?
Stupid question, OF COURSE WE ARE

Are gay men generally more artistically talented (music, poetry etc) than straight men?
Two possible responses to this one (a) Yes , OF COURSE WE ARE. (b) F**k off and stop stereotyping gay men!

Don't mean to offend anyone I'm just curious.
Andi'm certainly happy that you took the time and trouble to ask.

DapperGent

Originally posted by De Rebel
(b) F**k off and stop stereotyping gay men!

FFS I'm not stereotyping gay men. I'm just wondering what you think of said stereotypes.

shotamoose

I think De Rebel was being light-hearted there. Gosh, straight people have no sense of humour

BuffyBot

Originally posted by DapperGent
FFS I'm not stereotyping gay men. I'm just wondering what you think of said stereotypes.

<scouser> Calm down, Calm down</scouser>

He was just having a laugh