The most boggery place in cork

DamienH · 17-10-2002 10:26pm #1

What is the worst place to live in cork. For any reason? Just wanna see what comes out.

I say macroom ( theres just nothing there)

ozpass · 18-10-2002 7:11am

....but I did live in Ballyvolane for a couple of months. Very little to recommend it.

In Macroom's defence, the centre is quite pretty and houses are cheaper than those closer in to Cork City.:)

zenith · 18-10-2002 8:38am

Nad Bog. It's a bog, you see. Called Nad.

Other than that one, Cork is a thriving county filled with arts, culture and good times. So there.

Where is this going?

yellum · 18-10-2002 11:54pm

Yougal, Mitchelstown, Frankfield, Ballinlough, Wellington Rd,

daveirl · 19-10-2002 8:56am

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ozpass · 19-10-2002 10:10am

Wellington Rd

Only sophisticated individuals living here, smartass.

Unlike the knackers in Ballintemple.......

yellum · 19-10-2002 11:10am

I forgot to add Carrigaline to that list

And sorry for spelling Youghal wrong.

zenith · 19-10-2002 11:55am

On behalf of all women of colour, first of all, I'd like to thank Jesus, for giving us - the good people of Youghal - the strength to all pull together and get our fair town in the state it's in. You know who you are. Next meeting, outside Doyle's Chipper at 3.30am this Sunday morning. We'll meet on top of the Green Volvo, but proceed to the roof of the nearest British tourist's car. They really like that.

I'd also like to thank the feens and beors from Cork, with the assistance of their errant sperm, for the multitude of bowl-hair-cutted-and-small-tashed-tosspots who decend upon the place in the summer months to drink scrumpy, score five-spots, and grope each others' women. Thanks, guys, without you it'd not be half the place it is: stay for more than one night camping on the beach next time, it gets even better the second night! We'll even lay on some more beach furniture for you to set fire to, to keep your sad shell-suited arses warm. The lifebelts, they burn _real_ good.

Special fraternal greetings to the woolybacked **** of Dungarvan - this one's for you, kids, as you choose Youghal as the away venue to demonstrate Darwin's theories in action. It's very special. Bring yore ma next time!

Last, but not least, let's not forget the Midleton crowd: our social scene would not be complete without at least a couple of you there to remind us of how not to drink to excess, and how to control our tempers. Yes, it's really important to hold grudges: it's the East Cork way.

This award's really for all our visitors: without you, it'd not be half the place it is. Please feel free to bring more corrugated iron and build more of those funny 'mobile homes' on the outskirts. We love them.

I love you all. Thank you very much.

yellum · 19-10-2002 12:30pm

That was brilliant.

daveirl · 19-10-2002 3:11pm

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dahamsta · 19-10-2002 3:47pm

Poor old zenith. I reckon he's just venting irreparable pychological damage that all started when Perkie Bear gave him a fifty in the Ghost Train in 1987. Perkie was a bastard like that.

adam

daveirl · 19-10-2002 4:01pm

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zenith · 19-10-2002 4:57pm

Perkie and me actually did have a thing going on for a time. As it happens. And it was hot, and heavy.

Only chicks ever got to be Perkie, see?

(a) They sweat less and are marginally less likely to have BO, thus making it slightly less repulsive to operate the suit.

(b) They're less likely to pinch someone's ass 'in character', or other humorous actions likely to cause permanent damage to the childhood of thousands, and a very valuable brand icon.

Alas, it was over too soon, as I was transferred from "guy with the screwdriver downstairs" to driving the Disco Dodgems, while she departed for the Derby Racer, and the erstwhile charms of the Big Cheese who operated the Big Wheel.

I swear I am making none of this up. Every time I see that blasted bear I cry.

The suit experience -- there was only one general-purpose one -- was generally likened to that Vietnam War torture with the bamboo cage, the water and the rats, but hotter, wetter and smellier.

And with more children.

And a lethal circular staircase which you had to navigate in size 24 soft padded feet, with no ability to look down. This was because the poorly sized and balanced head would fall off, as the neck is a natural pivot point, and the costume's centre of gravity was somewhere around the brim of Perkie's hat. If decapitation occured, the class-action suit for irreperable damage to childhood was bound to follow, so all operators were constantly reminded to be vigilant.

Perks is still in operation in an industrial unit across from the Greyhound Tracks. Just walk from the favellas into town along the main road and you'll see it on the left-hand side.

Since it's become landlocked, it has all the glamour of a Queensland slot machine barn. Vegas it ain't.

yellum · 19-10-2002 5:45pm

You should put this up on your website Zenith , or have you put it up already ? Is that organ music on the site ?

zenith · 19-10-2002 6:12pm

Oh, don't get me started about the organ music on www.youghal.net ... I'm firmly passing the credit for that on to my co-conspirator.

He does 99% of the work there anyhoo, I just contribute to costs. So he's perfectly entitled to have Led Zepplin as the intro tune if he wants. Or Charlotte Church, which is more likely if you know the chap's taste in choons.

The block-rockin' beats, Mr DJ-thank-you-for-asking, are "Sweet Youghal Bay". About as saccharin a tribute to a body of water as "My Own Luvlee Lee", but fortunately less likely to be sung at 3am during lock-ins in Milton Keynes.

Don't delay: Get a copy of the seminal interpretation of this challenging work, by Glen Curtin, at http://www.movingmusic.co.uk/mus/mus665.htm for the "you know it must be good" price of STG3.99! Or STG2.99 on cassette! You'll never buy an album of dodgy cover versions at the supermarket again!

"Tears rolled down my face ... powerful stuff" - The Imokilly People
"Now available at STG2.99" - Youghal Parish Newsletter
"Golden Irish what?" - The Guardian

dahamsta · 19-10-2002 8:25pm

"Golden Irish what?" - The Guardian

"Showers"?

rymus · 19-10-2002 8:37pm

Originally posted by yellum
I forgot to add Carrigaline to that list

D'ya want a slap? well, do ya?

Theres nothin wrong with Carrigaline... that a few vans full of SAS types wouldnt sort out fairy rapidly

daveirl · 19-10-2002 9:40pm

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zenith · 19-10-2002 9:53pm

Originally posted by rymus
Theres nothin wrong with Carrigaline... that a few vans full of SAS types wouldnt sort out fairy rapidly

That's one for Lost Consonants. Much hilarity here or here.

RichyX · 20-10-2002 7:45pm

Originally posted by DamienH
What is the worst place to live in cork. For any reason? Just wanna see what comes out.

I say macroom ( theres just nothing there)

I'm obliged to call you a tosser since I live in Macroom, but the place is crap anyway.
Pretty much all of the towns in Cork are just as bad though.
WTH is there in any town in Cork???, some pubs and ****e all else in the majority of cases.

odee · 20-10-2002 8:03pm

I bloody love all the small bog towns in Cork.
Of course I would say that, as I don't live there anymore!
Family over in Macroom, lovely place to visit.
Love to go home and get ****faced.

Raskolnikov · 21-10-2002 9:43am

Originally posted by rymus

Theres nothin wrong with Carrigaline... that a few vans full of SAS types wouldnt sort out fairy rapidly

Carrigaline is ok, just as long as you don't go into the town

flyz · 21-10-2002 9:54am

Originally posted by odee
I bloody love all the small bog towns in Cork.
Of course I would say that, as I don't live there anymore!
Family over in Macroom, lovely place to visit.
Love to go home and get ****faced.

Agreed!

where would use country bumpkins be without having O Riadas or Fitzys to go to on a saturday night

RichyX · 21-10-2002 10:13am

I'm a bar man in Fitz's, place has gone to **** recently, it's just as crap as O Riada's but we just ain't gettin the crowd.
O Riadas is just an all out ****e hole, the sweat dripping from the ceiling thing is enough to put me off the place.

LastIrishMonkey · 22-10-2002 1:02am

soz.................. but the worst is ballgoole near kinsale im from the ballinlough road area that kind boring too
there no cars on fire like there use be

messing ofcoarse;)

scojones · 22-10-2002 4:00pm

What about clon? or innishannon? Innishannon is just a strip of road. boo!

DamienH · 23-10-2002 9:09pm

Lol i had to laugh when i heard about "Nad" I doubted it's existence until i asked a fella and he said it existed. I wonder if they can get DSL in nad.

flyz · 24-10-2002 8:20am

Originally posted by DamienH
Lol i had to laugh when i heard about "Nad" I doubted it's existence until i asked a fella and he said it existed. I wonder if they can get DSL in nad.

Oi! Don't knock Naad unless you've been there!
Naad rocks!;) Well at least the pub does

smackbunnybaby · 24-10-2002 10:31am

thanks to its chief export (*cough *drugs) carrigaline has a thriving local economy.there is always a spare seat on the bridge where you can converse with locals and plenty of bricks to throw thanks to the new extension to the hotel.

the most boggery place id say is lissarda,real blink and you'd miss it stuff,however they do have a tractor dealers but NO PUB if my memory serves me right!! :eek:

RichyX · 24-10-2002 6:11pm

Lissarda is just a small village, yeah they have the tractor dealer but it's also a really decent Audi/VW dealership.
I'm not sure myself if they have a pub there or not, I'll be passing through tomorrow morning on the bus so I'll check then.

reic · 24-10-2002 7:06pm

Nope, no pub in Lissarda.

DamienH · 24-10-2002 9:08pm

thanks to its chief export (*cough *drugs) carrigaline has a thriving local economy

Lol

The most boggery place in cork

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