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should i be worried? has he forgotten her?

  • 02-07-2002 9:56am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,038 ✭✭✭✭ LegacyUser


    I recently moved in with a man who was in a relationship before we got together...

    Thing is, a couple of times in bed he has called me her name... Im not sure how to react... should i be worried? Should i be angry?


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,305 koneko


    Sounds like it might be lingering feelings. You won't know until you talk to him.

    It sure would bother me though. I mean, if he's calling out her name, is it because he's imaging being with her? Or is it just habit? Either way it won't make you feel any good about this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,500 Mercury_Tilt


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,305 koneko


    hehe, force of habit.

    I say talk to him. Only way you'll know. Are you two happy together? That should answer the question too.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭ The Corinthian


    Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
    Not really. It depends on how long he was with her and the amount of time he spent with her daily. Its more a force of habit.
    Yup, force of habit - So's sleeping with Ex's :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,500 Mercury_Tilt


    This post has been deleted.


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  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,946 BEAT


    some one (mt) seems a bit touchy dont they :rolleyes:
    silly silly boards flames ;)

    Back on topic though....Just ask him that's the only way you'll know, it's that simple.;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,500 Mercury_Tilt


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  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,946 BEAT


    well, what I got from corinthian's comment was this:

    repeating konecko's comment with - so's sleeping with ex's and the :rolleyes: meant he was saying, no its not force of habit, and silly to think it's an easy mistke to make...if your out there C. let me know if I am right, and I dont see how his comment belittled yours in any way...I think you may be taking these threads a little more Personal than you should be ;)

    that's just my opinion ofcourse ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭ The Corinthian


    :rolleyes: == Sarcasm

    Indeed, such an equation is silly.
    Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
    Ohhh and Corinthian…
    Yes, snookums?
    Perhaps you hold a grudge because I told you that you were being condescending..when you referred to all the readers of Boardsie as “boys and girls”…like we were all below your great understanding of it all?
    Err... no (Actually I mean that honestly).
    You can roll your eyes all you want. Its fair to say that if you cant spout some enlightening condescending twaddle...that’s all you can do.
    Breath into a paper bag for a minute.
    Im only trying to help the lady. What are you doing for her?
    Perhaps I'll accept that you have a point there, in that I explained myself poorly - Sometimes sarcasm is a good way of demonstrating that we're overeacting or just reading to much into something.

    Now run along young man :rolleyes:


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,946 BEAT


    excellent, very well stated C. could'nt have said it better myself.

    :p


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 Kalina


    Ask him about it but in a relaxed easy-going sort of way so as he doesn't feel as if he's being accused of something. Chances are in the heat of the moment the wrong name just popped out. Maybe he doesn't even realise he said it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,648 smiles


    Here, Mercury Tilt and Corinthian, both of ye, if you have grudges, etc, then take them *elsewhere*, i'll leave what you've said as it's not insulting, just opiniated, just try not to sink down any further?

    << Fio >>


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,408 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Beruthiel


    I've done in myself on about 4 different occasions. If you are with some one else for a long time, it's as Merc said, sometimes your brain goes back to habit! I can tell you there is NOTHING more embarrassing and I couldn't explain why I did it, I had no reason and NO there were no lingering feelings - a slip of the tongue, no fault of the mind -
    I wouldn't be too worried, just ask him about it if it bothers you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭ The Corinthian


    Originally posted by smiles
    Here, Mercury Tilt and Corinthian, both of ye, if you have grudges, etc, then take them *elsewhere*, i'll leave what you've said as it's not insulting, just opiniated, just try not to sink down any further?
    I apologise to Merc, one of the more erudite members of Boards, for any offence I may have inadvertently caused, although in my defence I did not mean to cause said offence.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 622 darthmise


    Great now that we're all lovin each other again, i would just like to contribute that i too have done this. Quite frequently before and totally out of force of habit.

    And then again recently when climbing into bed with my girlfriend i made a statement like " i was so tired earlier i wanted to come down to bad and wait for you"..... except i didn't say you, i said her friends name instead... and have no earthly explaination for it. I don't fancy her friend at all, i know that much for sure. I was drunk but that doesn't expalin it either.

    So you can ask him but don't expect him to know why.
    It doesn't mean that he still has feelings for her, it is just a habit, especially if he lived with her and was aroundher so often.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,802 thegills


    Did he call her name whilst;

    A) In the throes of passion - very worrying
    B) In his sleep - could be any dream
    C) During casual coversation - slip of the tongue

    So which is it Unreggie.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,572 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Shiminay


    An ex of mine called my by 2 different names before once - it was an accident and I knew it was. I still felt a bit, "off", but it happens and I didn't get too upset about it. If it continues, have it out with him.

    As someone mentioned, it's a force of habit thing. For example, I changed my windows password last week, I still keep typing the old one. It takes me the entire month of January to start writting the correct new year down etc....

    It happens. Some people suffer from it more than others (mental lapse or whatever it is).


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,038 ✭✭✭✭ LegacyUser


    Originally posted by thegills
    Did he call her name whilst;

    A) In the throes of passion - very worrying
    B) In his sleep - could be any dream
    C) During casual coversation - slip of the tongue

    So which is it Unreggie.

    Twas kind of none of the above. Twas when he was waking up, the alarm was going off, and he told her to switch it off :)

    See, thing is, when he said her name, i really thought nothing of it, i even teased him about it... but he seemed to feel really bad, expecially after doing it 2 mornings in a row, so i guess it was him i wanted to reassure with this thread.

    See honey? its just habit, and half asleep habit at that, so stop feeling guilty :P

    By the way, thanks everyone :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,641 Canaboid


    Dump him.
    Immediately.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,038 ✭✭✭✭ LegacyUser


    Originally posted by Canaboid
    Dump him.
    Immediately.


    overacting a bit there aint we ??

    force of habbit .


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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,099 WhiteWashMan


    i wouldnt worry too much to be honest.
    my ex did it to me several times, and she had been engaged to the guy whose name she kept calling me.
    her family did it as well (although not when we were in bed obviously)
    it didnt bother me, slightly anooyoing yes, but pretty harmless.
    merc tilt is correct.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,500 Mercury_Tilt


    This post has been deleted.


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