should i be worried? has he forgotten her?

LegacyUser · 02-07-2002 10:56am #1

I recently moved in with a man who was in a relationship before we got together...

Thing is, a couple of times in bed he has called me her name... Im not sure how to react... should i be worried? Should i be angry?

koneko · 02-07-2002 12:27pm

Sounds like it might be lingering feelings. You won't know until you talk to him.

It sure would bother me though. I mean, if he's calling out her name, is it because he's imaging being with her? Or is it just habit? Either way it won't make you feel any good about this.

Mercury_Tilt · 02-07-2002 12:27pm

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koneko · 02-07-2002 12:39pm

hehe, force of habit.

I say talk to him. Only way you'll know. Are you two happy together? That should answer the question too.

The Corinthian · 02-07-2002 7:10pm

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Not really. It depends on how long he was with her and the amount of time he spent with her daily. Its more a force of habit.

Yup, force of habit - So's sleeping with Ex's :rolleyes:

Mercury_Tilt · 02-07-2002 8:31pm

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BEAT · 02-07-2002 8:43pm

some one (mt) seems a bit touchy dont they :rolleyes:
silly silly boards flames

Back on topic though....Just ask him that's the only way you'll know, it's that simple.;)

Mercury_Tilt · 02-07-2002 8:47pm

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BEAT · 02-07-2002 8:51pm

well, what I got from corinthian's comment was this:

repeating konecko's comment with - so's sleeping with ex's and the :rolleyes: meant he was saying, no its not force of habit, and silly to think it's an easy mistke to make...if your out there C. let me know if I am right, and I dont see how his comment belittled yours in any way...I think you may be taking these threads a little more Personal than you should be

that's just my opinion ofcourse

The Corinthian · 02-07-2002 8:51pm

:rolleyes: == Sarcasm

Indeed, such an equation is silly.

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
Ohhh and Corinthian…

Yes, snookums?

Perhaps you hold a grudge because I told you that you were being condescending..when you referred to all the readers of Boardsie as “boys and girls”…like we were all below your great understanding of it all?

Err... no (Actually I mean that honestly).

You can roll your eyes all you want. Its fair to say that if you cant spout some enlightening condescending twaddle...that’s all you can do.

Breath into a paper bag for a minute.

Im only trying to help the lady. What are you doing for her?

Perhaps I'll accept that you have a point there, in that I explained myself poorly - Sometimes sarcasm is a good way of demonstrating that we're overeacting or just reading to much into something.

Now run along young man :rolleyes:

BEAT · 02-07-2002 8:56pm

excellent, very well stated C. could'nt have said it better myself.

Kalina · 02-07-2002 9:40pm

Ask him about it but in a relaxed easy-going sort of way so as he doesn't feel as if he's being accused of something. Chances are in the heat of the moment the wrong name just popped out. Maybe he doesn't even realise he said it.

smiles · 02-07-2002 9:56pm

Here, Mercury Tilt and Corinthian, both of ye, if you have grudges, etc, then take them *elsewhere*, i'll leave what you've said as it's not insulting, just opiniated, just try not to sink down any further?

<< Fio >>

Beruthiel · 03-07-2002 8:45am

I've done in myself on about 4 different occasions. If you are with some one else for a long time, it's as Merc said, sometimes your brain goes back to habit! I can tell you there is NOTHING more embarrassing and I couldn't explain why I did it, I had no reason and NO there were no lingering feelings - a slip of the tongue, no fault of the mind -
I wouldn't be too worried, just ask him about it if it bothers you.

The Corinthian · 03-07-2002 10:55am

Originally posted by smiles
Here, Mercury Tilt and Corinthian, both of ye, if you have grudges, etc, then take them *elsewhere*, i'll leave what you've said as it's not insulting, just opiniated, just try not to sink down any further?

I apologise to Merc, one of the more erudite members of Boards, for any offence I may have inadvertently caused, although in my defence I did not mean to cause said offence.

darthmise · 03-07-2002 12:16pm

Great now that we're all lovin each other again, i would just like to contribute that i too have done this. Quite frequently before and totally out of force of habit.

And then again recently when climbing into bed with my girlfriend i made a statement like " i was so tired earlier i wanted to come down to bad and wait for you"..... except i didn't say you, i said her friends name instead... and have no earthly explaination for it. I don't fancy her friend at all, i know that much for sure. I was drunk but that doesn't expalin it either.

So you can ask him but don't expect him to know why.
It doesn't mean that he still has feelings for her, it is just a habit, especially if he lived with her and was aroundher so often.

thegills · 03-07-2002 1:04pm

Did he call her name whilst;

A) In the throes of passion - very worrying

In his sleep - could be any dream
C) During casual coversation - slip of the tongue

So which is it Unreggie.

Shiminay · 03-07-2002 1:39pm

An ex of mine called my by 2 different names before once - it was an accident and I knew it was. I still felt a bit, "off", but it happens and I didn't get too upset about it. If it continues, have it out with him.

As someone mentioned, it's a force of habit thing. For example, I changed my windows password last week, I still keep typing the old one. It takes me the entire month of January to start writting the correct new year down etc....

It happens. Some people suffer from it more than others (mental lapse or whatever it is).

LegacyUser · 03-07-2002 3:44pm

Originally posted by thegills
Did he call her name whilst;

A) In the throes of passion - very worrying
In his sleep - could be any dream
C) During casual coversation - slip of the tongue

So which is it Unreggie.

Twas kind of none of the above. Twas when he was waking up, the alarm was going off, and he told her to switch it off

See, thing is, when he said her name, i really thought nothing of it, i even teased him about it... but he seemed to feel really bad, expecially after doing it 2 mornings in a row, so i guess it was him i wanted to reassure with this thread.

See honey? its just habit, and half asleep habit at that, so stop feeling guilty :P

By the way, thanks everyone

Canaboid · 03-07-2002 5:07pm

Dump him.
Immediately.

LegacyUser · 03-07-2002 5:21pm

Originally posted by Canaboid
Dump him.
Immediately.

overacting a bit there aint we ??

force of habbit .

WhiteWashMan · 03-07-2002 6:17pm

i wouldnt worry too much to be honest.
my ex did it to me several times, and she had been engaged to the guy whose name she kept calling me.
her family did it as well (although not when we were in bed obviously)
it didnt bother me, slightly anooyoing yes, but pretty harmless.
merc tilt is correct.

Mercury_Tilt · 03-07-2002 10:25pm

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should i be worried? has he forgotten her?

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