Virginity

LegacyUser

OK here is the thing, im not too bothered by this but would like to know.

Im 22, pretty good looking im told but im still a virgin. Now this is by choice mind you, i have not met anyone i would be interested in sleeping with. Firstly no im not gay and secondly i am male.

So without smart comments what are your thoughts? Brittany Spears claims to be a Virgin though dont know if i can believe that. Anyway i dont see anythign wrong with that and i dont have a huge need to go out and get laid though i am curious about what im missing.

Its not that i could not have sex, thats easy at the very least all you need is a bit of money, so its by choice. I think its like this, i see sex as a means of procreation and im not interested in being a dad just yet and there are other things to do with a woman than penetration!

Gordon

Great news mate, keep your virginity for the right time, I find that very honourable

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

bout the same here, i'm 19 and still a virgin, and despite all the stick I get from my friends (edited due to named party acting like a two year old) I like it. I'm in no big rush to "get my hole" as it's put.
*shrug*
it just isn't something I find to be incredibly important

bombidol

I agree with you to a certain extent, im not one of these blokes thats says "i'd die if i didnt ride a burd!" because on the list of things that are important to me sex is not one of them, im not a virgin and to be honest im far from it, but if its fun with a girl you want there are other ways.
But thats all we have in common, i think everyone should be out there having a good time, but i dont think you can fully understand what having a good time mens to you if you havent tried everything. im a firm beliver in do what makes you happy, if drugs make you happy, do em, if sex makes you happy, do em if driving, drawing, skating ,playing, etc you know what im talking about. I understand that everythings not for everyone but i think to know what you like you have to try everything otherwise you only like what youve done.
Hard to explain how i feel on this subject and you just got the handicapped quick version but it gets the point across.


Bomb

darthmise

Ahh..., so what are you asking exactly...

seamus

Originally posted by Unregistered
Anyway i dont see anythign wrong with that and i dont have a huge need to go out and get laid though i am curious about what im missing.

Its not that i could not have sex, thats easy at the very least all you need is a bit of money, so its by choice. I think its like this, i see sex as a means of procreation and im not interested in being a dad just yet and there are other things to do with a woman than penetration!

Well, there you are then. You'd be one of very few men who aren't gagging to go out and lose their virginity, and probably the first I've seen who's knows why, and isn't afraid to admit it. Plyd. I personally don't see sex as solely a procreation tool at all (although ask me in 10 years time), I see it more as a relationship builder (or destroyer), very useful for gauging compatibility. And having a bit 'o fun of course.

Funnily enough though - you think you're horny before you lose your virginity? By God you ain't seen nothing yet .

Unreg, I commend you.

darthmise

And if your not too bothered by it, why go "Unregistered"?

LegacyUser

Originally posted by darthmise
And if your not too bothered by it, why go "Unregistered"?

Nice to see only one muppet reply to the post.. well done darthmise. Read the post, im not bothered personally about being a virgin or otherwise.

However if someone i know and who knows my username saw it and did not know im a virgin, which coincidently accounts for pretty much everyone alive as im a very private person, well you can imagine what would happen. Would be around all my work mates and friends and so on. no thank you, only looking for oppinions here

Originally posted by darthmise Ahh..., so what are you asking exactly... [/B]

Agaib read post, i was after non muppet replies as to what people thought and even if there are others out there.

thegills

Are you not interested in seeing whats its like. The days of waiting for the right person are over. At your age you should be out experimenting. What if you meet the right girl and then when you get down to do the dirty deed you realise that you can't for some reason. I'm not saying sleep around but at least if the situation arises go for it.
Practise makes perfect as they say

Gordon

Originally posted by Unregistered

i was after non muppet replies ... etc

OK, calm down - discussion forums, as you know, are for discussing things and finding out facts for example. Not for insulting people

Ruaidhri

personally i dont think it is THAT important anymore..ppl(hollywood) make it out to be this magical event that suddenly turns you into a man....not a quick shag down some dark allyway?
now i'm not a virgin,but i never thought it was such a big deal loosing it.
sex is only a big deal when you are not getting it.

darthmise

Originally posted by Unregistered


Nice to see only one muppet reply to the post.. well done darthmise. Read the post, im not bothered personally about being a virgin or otherwise.

However if someone i know and who knows my username saw it and did not know im a virgin, which coincidently accounts for pretty much everyone alive as im a very private person, well you can imagine what would happen. Would be around all my work mates and friends and so on. no thank you, only looking for oppinions here



Agaib read post, i was after non muppet replies as to what people thought and even if there are others out there.

Wow, someone has immeadiately jumped on the defensive.
As far as i could read you made a statement that you were a virgin, and asked us to comment on it?!?

So what if it got around to you rworkmates? Thats my point, you said you weren't bothered by it. You obviously are. Hence you jump on my "non-pat-on-the back" post.

I'm not judging you, hell, if i could get another chance and have given mine to someone else i would, so there you go,

I just don't see what you want from posting this thread?
Is it to know if there are any other virgins here?

Repeat:
I am not judging you... relax.

donaloconnor

Well its nice to share feelings with other people 'anonymously'. It makes u feel a lot better to get things of your chest, does really

LegacyUser

I was about 23/24 when i lost mine.
Similar story, just didnt happen, didnt really worry me. I had oppertunities, but thought at the time that it wasnt the best thing for me/them.
When it happened i was glad i waited and i have absolutly no regrets.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Boston

I look at it this way, if your lifetime you will probably have sex hundreads of times, so why rush it. wheres the problem in waiting.

now im not hung up on this "right person" stuff, chances are your not going to spend you life with this person, and though it may feel like your giving this great gift to someone it isnt.

The importnat is that its not some random bird, that the person means something to you, doesnt have to be your soul mate, but i cant imagine anything worse then the first time being some casual thing,

Megatron

i waited till i was 22, it was no big deal to me but i did get some major abuse from my mates but that is waht mates or as the saying goes "friends help you move... real friends help you move dead bodies"
i waited untill i was ready, i ´m happy that i did what i did.
sex is important it becomes part of who you are so it´s better that you decided when you get rid of your cherry.

Dustaz

Ill take a shot and judge you.

I think your being overly moralistic and have an overinflated view of what your virginity means. Its not some big 'gift' to give someone, its sex. As the bubbles/boston creature said, its something your probably going to do a hell of a lot in your lifetime. Once you do do it, youll wish you were doing it a lot sooner (personal opinion).

You say that you believe that sex is solely for procreation. I agree with you to a certain extent. We are only animals after all. Once you discount religon (please dont start on religon) the only reason we are here is to fuck and fuck like bunnies to propogate the species, this is exacly why its so much fun. Men dont think about sex all the time because they are perverts, its because they are supposed to. Its programmed into our brains. Fortunatly, we as humans have discovered how we can do this and be fairly (but not 100%)certain that it wont lead to actual procreation.


If thats how you feel about sex, then ok, thats how you feel. But its Love that counts, not sex. sex is part of love, not the other way round. You express love in hundreds of ways, not just sex. Remeber that your waiting for an ideal, not a specific woman.

Anyway, flame me for being an insensitve cnut then:)

LegacyUser

Im 20 and a virgin and i dont see it to be something to be proud about, i find it very embarassing. I dont choose to be a virgin, its just that im very shy and find it hard to make friends never mind boyfriends. I wish i wasn't, i want to lose it in the right sort of situation, like when im ready but how do i know thats going to come? I could be waiting a lifetime. Im not saying im going to out to a club or pub and pull for the specfic reason of losing my virginity, but if i get the chance to lose it with a guy who is not that special someone then i will. The quicker it happens to be the better.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Something

The need to reproduce is the most basic human need after food and drink, nuff said.

Cake Fiend

I certainly don't see anything wrong with being a virgin at your age, but I hope you're not under any illusion that it really means much. Before you lose your virginity, you might see sex as this huge event, possibly a very special and wonderful activity between two people deeply in love (which it can be), possibly a sordid, disgusting affair between two recklessly hedonistic individuals (which it also can be). After you've lost it, you'll tend to think of it as a much less significant thing, sometimes an expression of love, sometimes just a bit of fun.

If you're under the impression that saving your virginity for 'the right person' will make your first time an unforgettably ecstatically wonderful experience, you could be setting yourself up for a big let-down. On the other hand if, as you say, you're not hugely bothered about it, then I agree with the point that there's no reason to rush into anything. It'll happen eventually, no sense in worrying about it.

I'd say the same to the second 'Unregistered' - why do you feel the need to lose your virginity as soon as you possibly can? 20 is not a hugely unusual age to still have your virginity. You know that you will eventually have sex for the first time, why do you need it to happen 'the quicker the better'?

Kolodny

It's refreshing to find so many people not in any hurry. I was 20 when I first had sex and that was largely down to waiting until it 'felt right' that I waited that long (there had been opportunities, but I didn't feel ready). Unfortunately, I got drunk at a party and ended up with this guy I'd only met a few hours before (remembered to take all necessary precautions though, thank god!) and if I could go back and change the way it happened I probably would.

There shouldn't be anything embarrassing about waiting until you feel it's the right time for you. I commend anybody who does this because I sure wish I had!

Kalina

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt
i am a virgin to. Lets get it on.

No ....really.

Name the time and place!!

Kalina

Unreg, glad to hear that being a virgin doesn't bother you. Personally I don't think it's all that big a deal what age you are when you first sleep with someone ( as long as we're not talking really young) as long as you feel it's the right thing to do and it makes you happy.

Wook

come to the dark side.....
get laid.....
dark...
side...

red_ice

everyones talking about 'the need to reproduce' - get over it, its sex...
Sure the first time imho should be with someone special, thats why i think a healthy relationship is good to help that fear factor, so you understand each other and are ok with making mistakes n' stuff because lets face it, noones perfect...

Im a strong christain, but not that strong so i think that sex and love should be made on a regular basis on a premarital or a marital status..

Its really up to you people (duh) when you decide to loose your virgenity, but dont leave it too long - the yonger days are the better ones for the lack of sag.. (not that i have a bases for comparison yet:p)

reD.

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Wook
come to the dark side.....
get laid.....
dark...
side...

I like that one wook!

By the way, first unreg here.
Now ill try and clear something up, i suppose up until recently, lets say oh 5 - 6 months ago i only saw sex as a means of reproducing and also had this oppinion i should wait. Things have started changing which i suppose is the real reason for this post. Where as before i had no real sexual urges i now have some. Im not driven to where i have to go have sex, no where near that but im thinking about it at least. Another reason it took so long is up until i was about 19 or so i was always pretty shy and quiet. Im not that shy now but i am quiet natured and am not into pubs and clubs so its not as easy to meet people for me.

Fact is im not to fussy right now, i have the if i meet someone and it happens i will let it. I will not go out of my way to make it happen though.

By the way i reckon i owe darthmise an apology. Must be a little more of a sensative subject than i thought. Keep the comments going, at least i know im not alone in my oppinion or my virginity for that matter, although one of few i guess!

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Shiminay

I lost it quite a while ago (aged 15 - I'm 24 now). TBH, I wouldn't have minded to wait a bit - I think I was a little too young. It's not the be-all and end-all of life! Sex is a good thing and can be a hell of a lot of fun, but I wouldn't get too hung up on it. Relationships are more important and while sex is bound to be a part of it, it's not a major part!

So, enjoy young man, thy youth and don't worry about a small thing like virginity and "geting your hole" because it's not that important despite what you may think.

Actually, well played for not bowing to pressure and doing it with the wrong person - I think the first time should be with someone special as it makes it easier and more comfortable and more enjoyable. That's not to say it's a monumental occasion - it's a pretty important step to make in life, but it doesn't rank in the top 5

darthmise

Actually i take back what i said about wishing i'd waited for someone else.

See the catch 22 about the whole thing is when you treat it as a gift to give to someone.

My first time could have been the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me, only that i was with the person for almost a year and felt totally relaxed around her.
But i was completely flacid for the entire 25 seconds it took and i'd say she barely even noticed what happened.

But when i met, what i guess i would call, the love of my life, at least i know i was much better and she enjoyed herslef more, than if i'd waited for her.


Unreg1, how will you feel if the person your decide to be with has loads of experience, will you wish you hadn't waited then?

I don't want to play Devils Advocate here, but i think that if an opportunity arises that you feel comfortable with (not a one night stand) take it. Don't hold it as a "gift" for someone. And don't treat it as something to be held as precious or sacred. It's not, its only sex.
It's one of the ways we show affection for each other.

Sexual know how or a mind blowing orgasm would be a better gift.

darthmise

Originally posted by Unregistered
Im 20 and a virgin and i dont see it to be something to be proud about, i find it very embarassing.

but if i get the chance to lose it with a guy who is not that special someone then i will. The quicker it happens to be the better.

It seems that you're eager to sleep with someone out of peer pressure and not out of love for the sport.

"Everyone else is having sex at 20 , why don't I?"

I 24 and i've never driven a car in my life, everyone else my age is, but i don't worry about it. I'd like a car but i won't rush out and buy one because i'm not ready to yet.

It's only sex, a thing we do like anything else.

No one can judge you on whether or not you've had sex, and if they do then they're the ones with the sexual hangups.

And don't slepp with just anyone, ther is nothing worse than having sex with someone who you know doesn't have their heart in it. You'll feel used and cheap.
Thers two types of sex; The act of love, and casual sex.
For me one is when its with someone you love, the other is when its with someone you feel comfortable with. Dragging someone home from a nightclub you don't know from adam is hollow and will leave you feeling empty.

Wait till you're ready. You'll know when its right. You'll be nervous but you'll be comfortable with it.

BuffyBot

Personally I think it's commenable that he wants to wait. Fair enough.

It isn't a magical event all silk sheets and swaety bodies, and the first time you have sex, it'll probably be crap, no matter what age you are.

Take your time, and when it happens, work from there

elexes

im not a virgin . lost it at age of 18 im glad i lost it to the girl that i did we went out 2.5 year then broke up i think i would of prefeared to waight till the right person but then again i do like sex to mutch now . its not the most important thing in my life but its up there . i have refused sex from some ppl . namly other virgins cause i think that when you do have sex with someone you should have some sort of feeling for them and not just be a one night stand .

in short your doing good keep it for someone you think loves you and u her


fail on that there is always sheep

just had to put one smart thing in it

red_ice

Is that why you wear a snotrag/hankerchief on your head when you go out?

that has nothing to do with my christain morals....

Back to the topic

TBH i think you should just stay at home and practise (excuse the exprassion its a lil sick), if you dotn think you are ready, its ok, just wait that little bit more - it will be worth it in the end..

po0k

*hump*

LegacyUser

Unregistered no 2 here, its good to see people have a positive veiw on keeping their virginity until a later age or until they are ready, but people are also saying its no big deal.

"It isn't a magical event all silk sheets and swaety bodies, and the first time you have sex, it'll probably be crap, no matter what age you are. "

"It's only sex, a thing we do like anything else. "
Well then if only sex why not lose it when you have the chance to and not wait till the right person comes along?

If people want to veiw their virginity as a special gift, or something to lose with someone special, well thats fine. I personaly see it as something that has to be lost sooner or later so i can stop feeling embarassed. I would have rather lost my virginity a few years ago because i dont see it as something special, i dont choose to be a virgin the only reason i am is because i've never had the chance to lose it because of my personality. But in saying that im not going to go out one night to specifacly lost it, i have respect for myself in that sence.

WhiteWashMan

possibly the most embaressing moment of my life.
at the tender age of 19 in college.
i idnt love the person i was with, but i did like her a lot and respect her and went out with her for a while. and we had fun.
if you want to keep your virginity, then why not. if youre happy, go for your life.
sex is not the be all and end all of everything. its lovely when you meet someone who will have fun with you on all sorts of ways and is willing to give and take and learn and laugh. and whether you start young or late, whats the problem.
youll either lose it to someone you love, or with someone in a drunken fumble moment


virign?
vergin' on the ridiculous i say......

amp

Well as the saying goes: Patience is a virgin.

Dustaz

Originally posted by darthmise

Dragging someone home from a nightclub you don't know from adam is hollow and will leave you feeling empty.

um, no.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

BEAT

well, I personally waited until I was 23...I am 25 now.
I think I was just waiting for the right person, I had many many oppurtunities over the years and I always turned them down.
I think I had that notion of waiting for the hollywood version or something of the like, it's silly now that I look back at it
sigh...all the fun I missed out on, lol
anyway...If your with someone you enjoy being with and the occasion presents itself, go with it...
Life is too short.;)

rymus

All I'm gonna say is.. thank god for sex! I'd have been dead a million times over from the stress without it...

But no seriously good for you for 'saving yourself'. Not many people do that nowadays. Only one other person that I can think of - but she's a bit dodgy so mabye she doesnt count...

I dont see the need for the thread tho cos if youre not gonna 'do it' then what exactly is the discussion for? Unless youre trying to get us to change your mind for you. Or maybe you are the kind of person that needs to know the opinions perfect strangers have on the way you live your life.

For what its worth tho your choice is possibly the correct thing to do if you look at it religiously - yes the whole no sex before marriage thing. I would say however that it is perfectly natural to have sex with someone when it is the only other thing you can do to show them how much you love them. You say youve had opportunities to do it and knocked them back? Have you ever been in a long term relationship or ever been so in love with someone that you knew it had to happen... Cos if you have then I dont think this thread would exist in the first place...

Anyway...wheres my pot noodle?

Jackoman

Everybody has different ways of looking at this - I think I can say that for every view on everything - anyway, being a male I think its great when you are in a relationship and really care about the person, gives room for experimentation and as they say "that connection". But I also really enjoy it if I am not in a relationship just meeting someone who you know nothing about. Brings on the excitment of being with someone different, even if its a one nighter - making sure you have your smurf helmet with you of course. Maby I'm obsessed - but it's all good!!
With regards to giving in and losing your virginity I do think it is better finding someone who is also a virgin and being in a relationship with them. That way neither of you gets hung up about "was it good for you?". The important rule in life is, no matter what you are doing, enjoy it!! If you are hung up on something, try it and get it over with. You might enjoy it or you might hate - either way, you'll know. And I dont think waiting or not waiting for the right persson deserves any special medals.

LegacyUser

i am 18,male and i just lost mine in the last 2weeks while on hols in costa del sol.i acted like a male slut 4 a week tryed it on wit every 1 and got lucky wit most of them.she was good looking and NOT a virgin.it wasnt that great but that was probly because i was so drunk and could preform properly.the best part of it was that i can now say i am not a virgin.but after having sex now u want it so much more, even though it wasnt that great,werid huh???

Bob the Unlucky Octopus

Dear oh dear, some very interesting opinions flying around here. While I have to say that at one stage of my life (perhaps when I was about 20-22) I would have respected someone's decision to "wait for the right person" so to speak. From where I stand now though (28), I've realized that it isn't a T- countdown, or a weather opening, it just happens. Virginity as a concept is an outdated one to me, especially for men, as there is no difference in a man physically after the act, whereas it *might* be for women (vaginal structure, hymen-rupture etc).

It's not an act of procreation...hasn't been now for about 50 years. Contraception has made sex recreation, not procreation. The idea that we should save ourselves, wait for the 'right' person, or until marriage is something that society and religious leaders have stamped upon our consciousness. A farcical ceremony involving the throwing of rice and rattling of cans behind a car makes one ready for procreative(children)/recreative(fun) sex? Yes, it does sound ridiculous. As for waiting for the 'right' person...just who is that now? All I've ever heard people say is 'you just know' or 'it isn't something that I can explain'. Well...there is no right person regretably. There are *wrong* people to lose your virginity to (I speak from the bitter experience of being the only freshman in the class to bust his cherry on the junior high homecoming queen while we were both drunk). Wrong people, but no right people.

I'm not saying it out of cynicism...you might be suprised to learn that I'm an incurable romantic at heart- but there's a lot more to love than sex. Sex at my age is a fun way of exploring your love for a person. I'm currently engaged to be married (a prolonged engagement, but I'm a patient guy), if all that was holding Miks & me together was sex I'd never be faithful. How could I after all? So many women out there....must spread sperm...instinct...hunger...sex- *no*. Just...no. Love is bigger than that- instinct is fine for that drunken fling or the one-night stand(I've had both), but when you really love someone, then that's when it means something. It's a way of deepening a connection, at least in my experience. A piece of advice: don't *plan* on losing or not losing your virginity. It'll happen when you think it's right, not when other people say it's right. Avoid the wrongs, stick to the *not-wrongs* (ppl you care for) and you won't get hurt as badly on that first plunge

And my fellow guys...take your time on that first fling. Trust me, it'll be time well spent, nothing worse than forgetting to *ahem* preheat that oven.

Occy

chernobyl

Originally posted by Bob the Unlucky Octopus
Magor Edit....

Bob...you should have just said: "watch any episode of Sex and the City"...issue resolved.

no?

The Sweeper

Jesus. A thread with the phrase 'hymen rupture' in it. Dear God almighty.

All I know is that when you're a virgin you're bouncing around in your hormone-riddled little world dying to have sex with someone, ANYONE, to see what it FEELS LIKE.

Then you lose your virginity.

...and the first thing you want to do is have sex with someone else to see if it feels DIFFERENT.

androphobic

This is a very interesting thread..

Since there are very few (if any?) female responses, here's mine..

Losing your virginity is a very different thing for guys and girls (I suppose that one is obvious). Most, if not all, of my male friends have lost their virginity while a good few of my female friends have not. I think girls value it a bit more (sorry if that is sexist) and then of course we have the social stigma surrounding it .. girl = slut, guy = stud.

Personally, I lost mine just after my 16th birthday (3 yrs ago) and in ways I wish I had waited. I've been in a relationship now for a year and love my boyfriend very much.. maybe it would have been nice to lose it to him and not to some guy who I don't care about or even speak to anymore.. but c'est la vie.
In ways I also agree with whoever said that he/she is glad that when they met someone they really love, they had some experience. It's a catch22 situation to be honest.

I know it probably sounds mushy but now I connect sex with love. I've had "meaningless" sex but can't say I really enjoyed it or felt good about it afterwards. There's something so much nicer about cuddling and falling asleep after.. for me there's something so much nicer about sex that results because of love rather than because of lust. So.. now it is more an act of love and affection.

So, I guess I'm trying to say that I admire you, Unregistered, for abstaining.

- andro

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels
All I know is that when you're a virgin you're bouncing around in your hormone-riddled little world dying to have sex with someone, ANYONE, to see what it FEELS LIKE.

Then you lose your virginity.

...and the first thing you want to do is have sex with someone else to see if it feels DIFFERENT.

ROFL. Vero

I nearly lost my cherry when I was 14. Good sense (or more correctly fear) stopped me. So I subsequently kicked myself for my cowardice four years, until I finally did lose it.

First impression was "so was that it? I thought it would be better". Second, delayed, impression was that I would never viewe a snog in the local disco all that seriously again - it all kind of ruined me

However, as a result I was quite happy I'd waited the four extra years, as the list of other willing partners would have been pretty short at that age, and I would have kicked myself even more in frustration as a result for the next four years...

elexes

Originally posted by The Corinthian

ROFL. Vero

I nearly lost my cherry when I was 14. Good sense (or more correctly fear) stopped me.

i was the same but there was things i was unsure of and backed out o well , but when i did do it a cople of months after the lads i hung around with gave out to me think they said somthn like this " why the fu<k are you always with her and never come out drinking with us its not like ur having sex"

they found out by one of her friends . which brings up point if a girl asks a guy not to tell anyone about what just happened they guy usualy respects that and dosnt but if the guy dose the same thing to a girl it means nothing to the girl and usualy she goes off and tells all her mates .