Homer Quote of the day

Saruman

"You know, my kids think you're the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they've finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide. "

The Sweeper

"Purple is a fruit" is my personal favourite.

But as for that whole show, Duffman has RUINED the word 'thrusting' for me.

Saruman

he he he "I'm no supervising technician, I'm a technical supervisor."

Thorbar

Personal fav quote of show in general would be "OH NO, DUFFMAN CAN'T BREATH"

Saruman

"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population : you. "

koneko

It takes two to lie Marge. One to lie and one to listen.

Also

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

Jak

Marge: Homer! Are you operating an illegal brewery out of our basement?

Homer: Marge, I'm not going to lie to you honey ... Bye.

*walks out the door*

Rabies

my sig below

GoneShootin

"dear god please bless this rocket house and all the dwell within this rocket house" [or something like that]

AND

homer : "marge if we're not back avenge our deaths"
marge : "alright"

Saruman

"Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!"

Rabies

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own."

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:

"You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"The strong must protect the sweet"

"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?"

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."

"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight."

"Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say... This stinks!"

"D'oh!!!"

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"God bless those pagans."

"I'm in a place where I don't know where I am!"

"I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."

"Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."

"Mmmm, free goo."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

"I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night. "

"Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

"Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers."

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

"Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!"

"Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!"

EvilGeorge

"I'd sell my soul for a doughnut!"

wee man

"no beer and no tv make homer go crazy"

azezil

"I'm a white male aged 18 - 40, everyone listens to what i have to say"

DiscoStu

"Now Marge if anything goes wrong blame it on the guy who cant speak english - ahh Tibor how may times have you saved my ass"

"In 'de 'merica first you get the sugar, 'den you get the power, 'den you get 'de women....."

"mmmm cheap meat"

"mmm pointy(eating plastic bride and groom off a wedding cake)"

"ahh the last peanut, soaking in the oil and salt of its departed brothers"

"look at me im Peter Pantsless"

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing"

"Marge: How are the kids gonna get home?
Homer: Dunno, the internet?"

"Must kill Moe weeeeeeeeeee must kill Moe weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp"

DapperGent

"To Alchohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"

Saruman

"Homer : Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.
Lisa : Really? Where? Homer : Uh ... Somewhere in the back. "

"I know I'm not normally a religous man, but if your up there, save me superman!"

"Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No. Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh...ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful...magical animal."

EvilGeorge

Alright Brain...Its all up to you

The girls of the internet. Ooh, I'd go online with them anyday!

If something is too hard,give it up. The moral my boy is too never try anything

Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the american dream?

A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?

EvilGeorge

AHHH. Donuts. . . What can't they do

How could I forget!

woosaysdan

are you really the head of the quickie mart?
yes i am!
really???
yes i am!
really???
yes i am thank you call again

well that wasn't much help now was it

The other day I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.

Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!

EvilGeorge

Ah, Andy Capp, you wife beating drunk!

woosaysdan

simpson, homer simpson he's the greatest guy in history from the town of springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree doh!!!
Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe,just like elves and gremlins and eskemos

Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section I think it's really...really... really...good.

Venom

After changing his name to Max Power

Homer - "From now on there's the right way,the wrong way and the Max Power way"

Bart - "Isint that the wrong way"

Homer - "Yes,but faster"

daveJAM

"Duff Man can't die!
Only the actors who play him."

(Ok so not Homer but funny anyway.)

DapperGent

If we're going non-Homer this still has to be the greatest

"Thank you doctor."

"Oh I'm not a doctor."

Squall

"Fideldy deee, thatll need a tetnis shot"

The one with the swear jar after he steps on the nail. Classic

Oeneus

Heh, just heard this one today. Said by some substitute teacher!

"I'm sorry mrs. Crobapple(if thats how you spell it), your very nice but, it's the children I love!"

Just my sick mind;)

Mr.Applepie

Homer: Everytime i learn something new i forget something else. Do you remember the time i did the wine course and forgot how to drive?

Marge: You were drunk Homer!

Homer And How!

Acidflash

Marge : Your father is dead.
Homer : [crying] Awh! ... and he never lived to be a vegetable.

Saruman

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman -- and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Acidflash

Marge, we never ever made whoopie, not even mouth whoopie. [about his marriage to a girl in Las Vegas, who suddenly shows up at his house].