best way not to let a bouncer ruin your nite out?

nahdoic

let's face it, a bouncer really can make or break your nite out. So what's the best way of getting around all that crap about not wearing shoes or 'locals only' or you know the usual crap? Is there ANY way of convincing a bouncer who doesn't want to let you in, to let you in? I'd luv to hear peoples' stories/advice on this one.

The Sweeper

Go somewhere else.


Seriously - I'm not saying that to be sarkily spammish, but if a bouncer told me he didn't like the cut of my shoes I'd say "Up yours so sunshine, I'll drink somewhere else and you can address the rest of your fashion police opinions to my pert and retreating arse".

You're profit, he's overhead, take your profit somewhere else. If your mates are inside, ring 'em, if they're good mates, they'll up and come out to go somewhere else with you.

Never let a doorman ruin your night. If it really pisses you off, phone the manager of the establishment the following day and explain what has happened, convey your disgust at the discrimination you feel you have been targetted with and inform him/her that you will not be returning and will badmouth their establishment to all who will listen.

What will that do?

Well I always feel better after shouting at some gob****e like a tinkers dog on the phone.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels
Go somewhere else.[/QOUTE]

Agreed


Or else tell them a joke... a bouncer was blanking me and a mate from a pub/club one night so I told him this joke;

Q. What do you do if a dog is humping your leg?

A. Pick it up and suck it's cóck!



He let us in after that....

bonkey

Best one I remember is a bouncer asking one of my mates for ID some years back. The guy was (at that stage) in his late twenties, but looked a lot younger. Had no ID on him. Bouncer refused admission.

My mate started ranting at him about his age. It was only when he said "I even remember watching H.R. Puffinstuff on TV and thinking it was for kids" that the guy burst his cakehole laughing and let him in. Apparently, the bouncer also remembered the show, and thought the same of it.

In general tho, MAJD has hit it on the head. Take your profit elsewhere. I remember being in a pub where we had reserved some space for the evening. About 20 of the 30 of us had turned up. The rest of the place was mostly empty, and we got a call from a mate to say that the bouncer had refused him for his haircut, even though he was told he was part of the group inside.

So, we quickly took one last swig of our respective pints, go up n walked out. The manager asked us to reconsider, and that he would tell the bouncer to let our m8 in. We decided there were enough bars in Dublin and told him that its ok - we didnt want exceptions made, and would find another bar to frequent. I think there were 3 customers left after the 20 of us left, and a very pissed-off looking manager having words with a bouncer.

jc

Hobbes

Best one I saw is the bouncer asked some guy his age and he claimed he was immortal and had been alive for two centurys.

The bouncer told him he was too old.

po0k

All class...but I'm totally perplexed as to the connection between a dog humping your leg and then giving it fellatio.


Culd just be my soggy head after last night of course

djmagra

Originally posted by SyxPak
All class...but I'm totally perplexed as to the connection between a dog humping your leg and then giving it fellatio.


Culd just be my soggy head after last night of course

Hmmmm...you talk about giving a dog fellatio and then go on to mention your soggy head...surely not the best choice of words my good man!!:D

nasty_crash

One night i got stopped from goin into a nightclub and the bouncer asked me for ID! now as i was underage and i had used my fake ID enough times i decided to try my luck to get in! So this night the bouncer stopped me and asked for my ID!
So i told him i hadn't got it wit me that i left it at home and my Medical Card, Bank Card and all were with it in my wallet! So he took a look at me and seen that i was wearing a cross on a chain! which i always do! but he then turned around and said you look like a religious lad and i don;t think you'd lie so go on in!!!

T'was quite funny really!!!!

smoke.me.a.kipper

Originally posted by Hobbes
Best one I saw is the bouncer asked some guy his age and he claimed he was immortal and had been alive for two centurys.

The bouncer told him he was too old.

roffle! excellent

Ph3n0m

Aye bouncers are a funny bunch

In town one night, going drinking, went to a bar, and was refused with the "there's no room" excuse, we took two steps back and guess what more people where allowed in. Now I am wondering was it my long hair or my friend's skinhead!!!!!!!

So feeling quite brave, daring and drunk, I decided to hurl abuse at the bouncer - from about 6 feet away. I then proceed to tell people, who were going into the bar, not to go in on moral grounds - the bouncer at this time was getting really pissed, and threatening me (apparantly I was listening at the time )

So after a futile 15 minutes, I went up and asked him would he let me in, and unsurprisingly he said......no. So turned on my heel, and walked away, not realising that a) the cobblestones where slippy b) my friend was right behind me

Needless to say I feel on my arse!!!!!!

So let that be a lesson - if you are refused, and decide to antagonise a bouncer - make sure its not raining and that your friends are standing behind you, cause when falling down - you realise lose that air of self-righteousness

Enygma

Two things to try:
Wave your hand in front of the bouncer and say in a deep monotonous voice "These are not the droids you are looking for" (Apparently this worked on a bouncer who was obviously a big fan of Star Wars)

Otherwise, step back off the pavement and shout abuse at the bouncer for 30 minutes, something along the lines of "Monkey monkey monkey" whilst doing monkey impressions should suffice.
You won't get in of course, but the next time you try he'll have two choices:
1. Refuse you and have to put up with another 30 minutes of abuse
or
2. Let you in!

Which is he going to do?

Actually, a friend of mine just looks at his watch if the bouncer starts asking questions. For some reason it works, don't ask me how.

azezil

I quite frequently get asked for I.D., when i'm on my own I'm grand but with my friends i'm stoped and asked. Never had a problem once i showed them the I.D., actually they usually laugh and say sorry when they see how old i really am... wánkers

phobos

Actually on our Christmas night out, in mid december, myself and a few mates were making our way in to town from an almightly drinking session in the house. I was in Castlebar at the time, and noticed that there was no bouncer on the door of a particular pub, that always has a bouncer on student nights. So while my mates were accross the street @ the ATM, I proceeded to stand outside the door pretending to be a bouncer. Now for those of you that have never seen me, I am not very tall, but of a stocky build.

I stood there like I was raised for the National Anthem, with one hand over the other. A few people proceeded to pass me and go in the door. They all said hello, and gave a bit of a nod. At that stage I knew I was pulling off the part. Luckily for me the drink hadn't taken it's full effect. Anyway these two young lads got out of a cab just accross the road, and headed towards me and the door. They were wearing GMIT fleeces, so I said STUDENTS. I let the first lad go in, and then put out my hand to stop the second. The first lad said "what", and I said "no, no, you're alright", has your mate here got ID. The guy pulled out his college ID, and my mates were shouting and jeering from accross the street. It told them to shut up, and pretended I didn't know them, and pretended that I had refused them already. Your man pulled out his ID, and I checked it. He was born in 1982 and I was trying for the life of me to figure out was he 17 or 19. Remembering that I was well filled with drink at this stage. I didn't bother doing the maths, but I let him in anyway. The second they went in, I took off with the lads laughing my head off. Twas mad I tell yez :cool:

;-phobos-)

daftbegger

Drink in a local bar...

The beer is better, you don't have to get a taxi home, you know what the chipper is like and local bars (well round my way anyhow) don't have bouncers...(sorry "admissions consultants" ahem)

lammas

stop looking like a crusty and buy some decent threads.stay in if your a student.stop listening to phantom(this may help you to stop looking crusty) if all else fails try,"the Foggy Dew" or "the Oak" - you will find a miriad of ****s like yourself only too eager to listen to dodgy late 80's early 90's sound garden/pearl jam toss.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by lammas
stop looking like a crusty and buy some decent threads.stay in if your a student.stop listening to phantom(this may help you to stop looking crusty) if all else fails try,"the Foggy Dew" or "the Oak" - you will find a miriad of ****s like yourself only too eager to listen to dodgy late 80's early 90's sound garden/pearl jam toss.

You're a sound cúnt

Da Bounca

My story is very similar to Phobos' , but in my case i look the part, and have the name

Anyways, was at a social and afterwards went to the red-box. I got very polluted inside and fell asleep(dont know how, its so loud). I got a tap tap on the shoulder and the bouncer said "go out and get a bit of air" so i walked out with him and stood outside for a while. Because i was at a social beforehand i was dressed quite smartly, with a blazer , tie , slacks etc. So i was standing outside and started talking to the bouncer who was letting people in. As I was talking to him, people started coming up to me with their passport photo page open and handing them to me . I just took the passport and handed it to the bouncer , he gave a quick nod and i said , everything seems to be in order, enjoy your night. That happened about 3 times before i went back in myself. Was a good night

Lemming

A mate of mine who is a dwarf did one of THE best responses to a bouncer asking for ID I have ever seen cause it was so damn funny.

He was 25 at the time, although cause of his size, etc. you couldn't be sure. ANyway, we were going into copper face slaps on harcourt st. and we got stopped. The bouncer looks at my mate and says to him .. "sorry, 25s only"

My mate just looked at him and went, "yeah I know" and walked past him and into the club. The bouncer didn't know what to do. T'was most hysterical


Or the time I got asked for ID (on one of those rare occasions) by a bouncer and I looked at him, laughed, and walked past him.

scuzzy

Otherwise, step back off the pavement and shout abuse at the bouncer for 30 minutes, something along the lines of "Monkey monkey monkey" whilst doing monkey impressions should suffice.

ROFLMAO

I must try that sometime!:)

sceptre

Originally posted by Enygma

Wave your hand in front of the bouncer and say in a deep monotonous voice "These are not the droids you are looking for"

Love it! LMAO

Shinji

My mate just looked at him and went, "yeah I know" and walked past him and into the club. The bouncer didn't know what to do. T'was most hysterical

It's amazing how often that works - just making a smart comment and walking past. I never carry ID, since the only photo ID I have with my DOB on it is my passport and that lives in a drawer at home so I don't lose it... Any time someone asks for ID, I've always found that just laughing and walking past has worked fine. *shrug*

Stephen

Shinji, that probably works for you because you look 40 years old.

][cEMAN**

Well what are they really going to do? Stick their hand out and push you back? Because at that point they haven't denied you entry as such and their handling of ou then counts as assault.

A good way to determin that would be how far outside of the door they are.

alb

Originally posted by ][cEMAN**
Well what are they really going to do? Stick their hand out and push you back? Because at that point they haven't denied you entry as such and their handling of ou then counts as assault.

A good way to determin that would be how far outside of the door they are.

Eh yes, that's exactly what they do. They stop you, and ask you again, and say you arn't getting in with ID. What are you gonna do take them to court for assault? I think the case would be laughed out of the court. Luckily I'm old enough now to not have to worry about any of this crap anymore.

leeroybrown

A guy I know (in his late 20's, and built like a tank) had been drinking all evening and headed to a night club. He arrived at the door and the bouncer said to him:

"How much have you had to drink?"

He looked at him and said:

"Heaps of it, and I'll drink twice as much more before the night is over!"

The bouncer didn't have any reply for that one, and he just walked straight past him into the club.

phobos

Myself and a few mates were going in to a club in Galway (CPs), and one of them got stopped by one of da bouncers. My mate had been refused from this club before, and TBH was getting a tad sick of it. So he dressed to impress (shoes, pants etc), had his passport & college ID, had only 2 pints beforehand and was of the proper entry age. He was pretty determined this time

The bouncer just stopped him and asked for ID. He pulled out his college ID, and the bouncer looked at it. Then he said, I can only accept passport of driving license (WTF??), so my mate showed him that. Then the bouncer told him that his eyes were a bit glazed, and asked him how much he had to drink. We knew that the bouncer remembered this guy (but said nothing). We all kinda stood out on the street, just to show the bouncer that if he didn't get in, it was pretty obvious that they were going to loose out on about 7 or 8 other customers that night. The bouncer accepted that he hadn't much drink, and took a step back to look at his feet. While he was checking for shoes, my mate said, "You can't find anything wrong, can you?" :cool:

The other bouncers heard this and errupted in laughter, and finally let him in. He actually hasn't been stopped for ID since

Another quick story
A few years back when I was a troublesom youth (around the 18 mark), I was generally thick skinned, and didn't take too kindly to "No". So I was heading in to town to meet mates of mine in Fibber McGees. I was of the proper age, and had the ID to prove it. There was this baldy bouncer on the door, who acted like the local hardman. He stopped me for ID, I presented it, and he then asked me "Is this a serious ID?". I replied with "It's about as serious as your fukkin haircut, mate!". He thought that was the funniest thing he'd heard in a while, and held the door open for me. He also shouted in the door to another bouncer, "We got a real funny man here". At that point I thought I was going to be brought out the back and hammered, but the other guy just grinned. Muppets

;-phobos-)

alb

Originally posted by phobos


A few years back when I was a troublesom youth (around the 18 mark), I was generally thick skinned, and didn't take too kindly to "No". So I was heading in to town to meet mates of mine in Fibber McGees. I was of the proper age, and had the ID to prove it. There was this baldy bouncer on the door, who acted like the local hardman.

I know that bouncer the little bald guy with the tache. He has to be the worst bouncer in galway, and afaik he's STILL on the door at fibbers. Once he stopped me, put his elbow under my chin immediatly (wtf like?!??) started saying to the other guy i looekd like a drug dealer. Basically they're just so bored he's trying to rile me up so i'd start a fight or sth. I didn't react, and eventually he just got the **** out of my way.

DeadBankClerk

name and shame the bouncers!
and then print out this thread and present it to them

BigMac

One St Paddy's day about 9 of were going in to town and for some reason we ended up on Abbey street, we noticed that the Plough had been done up and there was a trad session on inside. It didn't look too full (not like us). So we approached the door man who gave us the old reliable one liner "regulars only" we asked how could you have regulars only on a St Paddy's day and tried to gain access. Basically he didn't like the cut of our jib's. We discussed the matter for a bit until he asked us where we were from and my mate said Cavan and much to our surprise he let all of us in, no arguement.
Needless to say we had a great day in that pub......
So sometimes it is better to be a culchie when dealing with Monkey's................:D :eek:

po0k

yea, you'd be surprised how often having the odd blade of grass hanging out of your hair works. On my L.C. results night last August Myself and a pack of friends (all of whom had been in my year and had our girlfriedns in tow) headed to the GPO (galweh).
We were refused entry (having been in there only the night before on a two of the same lads' 18ths coincidently) because myself and nother one or two had no ID. One of the lads (who was from Rosmuc) started talking shíte to the head bouncer (who also turned out to be a Connie ). I recognised a bouncer from the last night and asked him if he remembered us. He kinda did and between the shíte-talking and the other bouncer we were let in with a blessing.
It was quite a turnup for me especially as I had been walking Eyre Square all night trying to get in somewhere with no ID .
Cúnts in Fibber's wouldn't let myslef and a friend in even though we'd been there only teh night before (on the 18th pissup).

I turn 18 in mid-March.

leeroybrown

Why would you want to go into Fibbers anyways?

There seems to have been a fair bit of hassle recently with Bouncers requesting passports.

About 7 months ago, two friends of mine went into the Skeff (Eyre Square, Galway) in the afternoon for lunch. They were neatly dressed, hadn't been drinking and had never had any trouble with the Skeff.

They had just walked in when a security guy came over and asked them for ID. They showed him their NUIG ID's. At this point he said I can only accept Passport/Drivers Licence/National Age Card. They took out their national age cards. The bouncer proceeded to ask for Drivers Licence/Passport. One of them had a Drivers Licence in his bag. The bouncer then asked for a Passport. The same friend who had the Licence also had his passport in his bag as he was laving the country in a few days. After all that the bouncer let them both in.

Talk about making un-necessary hassle for two people who were only going to have lunch and leave after about an hour.

ToxicPaddy

I have worked in a fair few pubs and clubs in my time while, and to be fair most bouncers are ok. Its usually the mnagers of the pub who put the pressure on them to check for ID, any bouncer worth his salt will have a bit of cop on and just prefer a quiet night with as little hassle as possible..

But there are the odd few "hard men" who do it as its easy money, usually cash in hand and they get to thump a few heads every now and again..

I heard of one such group somewhere in the midlands, and the guy who owned this club was a bit of a toe rag, as where all his so called "security", who had done a few lads over in their time..

But there were a few lads visiting the town one night out on the piss and whatever happened in the club, one of the lads was taken outside down an alleyway by the bouncers and given the beaten of his life...

A month or two passed and one night 3 or 4 cars of lads pulled up outside the club, out jumped a dozen or so lads, caught the bouncers involved in the beating, dragged them down the alleyway and put ever single one of them in hospital... some with very serious injuries..

Cant be sure if this is a true story, but its from a fairly reliable source, a good mate who isnt known for talking cr*p..

Just shows that bouncers dont always get their own way...

po0k

That is class.
Damn. F*cking. Right.

Clintons Cat

the worst bouncers i knew were at the palace blackpool,way back in the early 90s
about the time they used to tape the hitman and her there (alongside mr smiths warrington), any way it has an enclosed area out the back where they would give anyone ejected a real kicking without the risk of witnesses.Me and my mate worked in a burger bar which shared the skips,so occasionally we would have to take the rubish out while they were laying into some drunk who had got lippy with a barmaid or some such crime.
They were right evil s.o.bs,they would go paste the head doorman of jellies (an adjoining club) just to prove who was top dog.
Some people are evil.

seamus

Just for the flipside of ToxicPaddy's post - A friend's uncle was a bouncer in some club in Dublin, lets call him Joe. The entire family are bouncers, it's a bit weird, but granted I'm still very courteous when I meet them . Anyway on with the story....4 or 5 guys were trying to get in, absolutely locked, and one bouncer attempted to stop them and got hopped on. Paddy rushes out to help him, but in the ensuing scufflle gets pushed backwards down a stairs (accidentally). Apparently it was a stairs similar to the one at the side entrance of the International, i.e. lethal. Anyway, poor guy is now crippled in a wheelchair with some minor (i.e. repairable) brain damage, but it'll be years before his life has any sort of normality. So bouncers don't just have to stand outside and refuse people, they do have some hardship. Just as an aside - I mentioned that the entire family are bouncers: they are all psycho. They are always up for a scrap, and get angry very easily. Personally I would prefer a little hardship getting in than having these guys out getting drunk themselves and starting on me (they'd kill me )

Fidelis

Ah Syxpak, the GPO is the business

And the last time I was in Fibbers it was jammers with under-age Scanda jacket clad muppets drinking cider Go elsewhere!

alb

Yeh, I guess I should say for the sake of my reputation that it was about 4 years ago I was going into fibbers, back in first year in NUIG, it wasn't so full of nackers then. A lot of first years, ppl our age at the time. Havn't been in there in 3 years I'd say.

Also as for bouncers wanting a quiet night, this isn't alwasy true. I knew a guy who just wanted to fight. Loved working places where lots of nackers were likely to show up so he could get in some good fights. Pretty scary really. the guy was insane.

SheroN

one night i was stopped and i just says to the bouncer "I'm with the crowd from the bank"...and he apologies to me then lets me in.

billy the squid

Establishments like the ones you mention have to apply to the local courts to have their licence renewed i think its once a year.

They have to advertise this in the newspaper.

So when the establishment you have a gripe with is having its licence renewed simply turn up at the courthouse on that day and file an objection to their licence being renewed

Victor

Originally posted by fcddunne
So when the establishment you have a gripe with is having its licence renewed simply turn up at the courthouse on that day and file an objection to their licence being renewed

I think you need to object before hand. Not sure.

billy the squid

Thats the idea of the putting the notice in the paper you have to know where and when to object

I guess you could object as soon as the notice appears in the paper to the courts in writing before hand i guess

kiffer

Aghhh, every time you say fibbers I think of fibbers in dublin. and get all confused.,
I keep forgetting that there is one in galway too... hum My favorite is the time that when asked for ID on the way in to a pub that I remembered as having a big underage problem, (which i used to go to when underage but had'nt been to in years) I simply said "it's a long time since i've been asked for ID here" meaning I only ever got id once/twice when i was 16 ... (at this point I was well over age ) , the bounce just said "oh are you a regular..." and let me in ... he must have been new ...

schrodinger

FIBBERS!!! WOO YEAH!!! WOO! WOO YEAH! AH Fibbers u gotta love it been drinking in there since I was 16. Asked for ID about 3 times.

Victor

From the 'Last Post' section of the Sunday Business Post recently (not sure how true this is):

Spotted outside a Leeson street nightclub last week, demanding to gain admittance and seemingly under the influence of alcohol, Prince Harry (of England) with some chums from Blackrock College.

According to on-the-spot sources, the young prince was enquiring as to the presence of strong drink and loose women within.

Some sources also suggested that the third in line for the English throne promised several of the separated northern counties in return for free admittance. To their lasting credit, the bouncers accepted the deal.

Last Post will be keeping an eye on the career of young Harry, whom it seems has a bright future ahead of him.

kiffer

Originally posted by Victor
From the 'Last Post' section of the Sunday Business Post recently (not sure how true this is):

lol ... thats much better then standing there slagging them for hours... or pointing out that it's against the law not to let you in ... and then claim to be in a minority

cournioni

Originally posted by BigMac
One St Paddy's day about 9 of were going in to town and for some reason we ended up on Abbey street, we noticed that the Plough had been done up and there was a trad session on inside. It didn't look too full (not like us). So we approached the door man who gave us the old reliable one liner "regulars only" we asked how could you have regulars only on a St Paddy's day and tried to gain access. Basically he didn't like the cut of our jib's. We discussed the matter for a bit until he asked us where we were from and my mate said Cavan and much to our surprise he let all of us in, no arguement.
Needless to say we had a great day in that pub......
So sometimes it is better to be a culchie when dealing with Monkey's................:D :eek:

hah! Strangely enough I never get into the Oasis (Carrick, Co. Monaghan) when I say that. Then I just say... "eh my father is from Monaghan". I got in then after a long wicked stare... Pfft... stupid Monaghan people.

pigeonbutler

I'm going to ressurect a very old thread here with the best story I've heard of getting in somewhere. Two of my friends, who were 17 at the time were attempting to get into the main late bar in Athlone. The bouncers stopped one of them, who looked his age, and asked him for ID. He wasn't too happy and went mental, dishing out the height of abuse to the bouncers. The unrefused guy restrained him and aplogised for his friends behaviour to which refused guy turned and roared "I'm not F***ing Sorry!" and was led away up the street by his apologetic friend. The very next night the guy that kicked up all the fuss tried to get in again and the SAME bouncers just said "How's a going? and opened the door for him!

This particular establishment are very sound about entry unless you're underage. In saying that I'm 17 and have somehow managed to become a regular there so don't get IDed. I guess I was just lucky the first few nights I was in there and they got used to seeing me inside. I'm damn lucky because it's the only decent pub in the town I always get into and it's the best one.

Ro: maaan!

If you're worried about not getting in for something other than ID/age, pretend you forgot your ID or only have college ID. After he's stopped you because of ID, Then pretend to find your garda ID in your wallet or obscure pocket or something. Chances are he won't change his story after saying the only reason you're not getting in is lack of ID.

BTW why do so many people say they don't bring their passport out because they're afraid of losing it. I've been using my passport as ID for over two years now. It's a bit annoying to have to bring it out alright, when you could just have a card in your wallet. But to say that you're gonna lose as a reason not to use it... Do these people lose their phone, wallet etc. everynight?

Jim

Originally posted by Ro: maaan!
Do these people lose their phone, wallet etc. everynight?

mp......3?

eirebhoy

There talking about "stupid excuses by bouncers to refuse you admission to Niteclub" on 2fm now (after the next few songs). Should be fun.

Lump

How not let a bouncer ruin your night out.


Don't be a díck in the first place. Most bouncers use the clothes, regulars, etc etc excuse because they don't like who you're with, or your behaviour.


John