spanking

The Bollox

I'm not sure if a poll like this has ever been posted before, but anyway I was just curious, how many of you were disiplined by spanking? and how many of you are in favour/opposed to it.

I personally was spanked as a child and I will not spank my kids, (if I have any, please God) because I believe it teaches children at a young age that violence is the answer to all your problems. I for one was quite a violent bastard as a child and am not proud of it

LadyJ

Teached?

The Bollox

no

LadyJ wrote:

Teached?

ha ha, thanx, the 'd' is too close to the 's'

jcoote

no

my parent hit me when i was younger and it did me absolutly no harm at all it helped me if anything...I don't have kids but i'm sure they would wreck your head to a point were u would have to give them a slap to show your authority at some point...

if it were a poll i'd vote yes but nothing extreme just a smack on thearse or whatever not physical abuse !

secret_squirrel

no

Im going to beat my kids senseless if they are unlucky enough to get me as a parent. I've been waiting 15 years to pass on the beating my parents gave me. Didnt do me any harm etc etc...

LadyJ

I think violence is just an ignorant way of handling your children. It shows that you really don't know how to deal with them at all. It's a quick fix if you will. Clockwork orange style.

no

like this?

I'm totally against spanking any kids at all. There is alternatives

Pighead

no

Ah lads c'mon,there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving a smack to a bold child
Pighead has never, ever ever ever heard of someone who has problems from spanking and most of the people I know realized its benefits and accepted its use on them even if they don’t use it themselves. Personally I had to spank a little brat cousin of mine once and he behaved great every time I babysitted him from then on. Of course I’m against abuse and that should be discouraged but the line isn’t as fine as most of you think. Use a open, not closed fist; don’t hit hard enough to leave a bruise, stick to the legs or the arse, and stop when they’ve learned their lesson. It isn’t hard but its very effective and 9 times out of 10 they will thank you for it.

biko

If you spank your child you teach them that violence is an OK method in an argument. I would never spank my child (if I had one).

Nothing wrong with a good spanking between consenting adults of course

LadyJ

All children learn from being spanked is that doing bad things will get them a thump.
That's just like saying that the only reason you shouldn't murder someone is because you'll end up in jail.
Children should be taught why something that they do is bad,not just be told it's wrong because if they get caught they'll get a beating.

The Bollox

no

Pighead wrote:

Use a open, not closed fist

so that's where my parents went wrong :rolleyes:

faceman

I often get a good slappin from me missus in the bedroom! Shes a rite kinky rabbit!

jcoote

no

i disagree i think a smack on the bum (not the head or torso or anything) teaches children that u (the parent) are in charge and teches them a certain level of discipline and respect that reason just cannot do...i will explain everthing to my children and do my best to teach them right from wrong but i wouldn't expect them not to do bad things a second time because they are only kids like

super_furry

no

Don't think a slap on the arse ever did anyone any harm - I'd view it as a short sharp shock to a misbehaving child. It wouldn't always be the answer but would be a valid way of disciplining a child in certain circumstances.

LadyJ

jcoote wrote:

i disagree i think a smack on the bum (not the head or torso or anything) teaches children that u (the parent) are in charge and teches them a certain level of discipline and respect that reason just cannot do...i will explain everthing to my children and do my best to teach them right from wrong but i wouldn't expect them not to do bad things a second time because they are only kids like

But again,you should give your children a reason to respect you rather than extracting respect through hitting them. Resent is the best you could hope for.

faceman

super_furry wrote:

Don't think a slap on the arse ever did anyone any harm - I'd view it as a short sharp shock to a misbehaving child. It wouldn't always be the answer but would be a valid way of disciplining a child in certain circumstances.

unless the child has brittle bones....

if slappin a child does no harm then why dont we slap adults when they do something wrong??????

super_furry

no

faceman wrote:

unless the child has brittle bones....

if slappin a child does no harm then why dont we slap adults when they do something wrong??????

Because it wouldn't be a legitimate form of discipline. Obviously.

jcoote

no

i'm not sayin hit them every time or every day or whatever but i think that u can tell a child a thousand times and be as assetive as possible and they won't stop doing what they are doin but an occasional slap will send the message much more clearly that what they are doing is wrong...also if u hit a child constantly(which was never my point) they'll just get used to it and either hate u or hurt someone else as u said above ladyj

Kernel

no

LadyJ wrote:

All children learn from being spanked is that doing bad things will get them a thump.
That's just like saying that the only reason you shouldn't murder someone is because you'll end up in jail.
Children should be taught why something that they do is bad,not just be told it's wrong because if they get caught they'll get a beating.

I agree, but within moderation it is an acceptable and effective way of instilling discipline. I was whacked a few times by my folks, and by the teachers in the Christian Brothers school I went to. Most of the time I deserved it, sometimes I got a little too much, but overall, it made me the man I am today, rather than a little scumbag/joyrider/junkie/criminal which is where a lot of my peers ended up.

It shouldn't be the only method used, I agree with teaching the reasoning and logic behind things, but sometimes kids dont get that, or are past that stage, so you need to take another weapon out of the arsenal and go to defcon 1!

Within a relationship, it is fine all the time.

jcoote

no

faceman wrote:

unless the child has brittle bones....

if slappin a child does no harm then why dont we slap adults when they do something wrong??????

because adults are (for the most part) reasonable characters wwhere as children haven't yet developed that sense of right and wrong

faceman

jcoote wrote:

because adults are (for the most part) reasonable characters wwhere as children haven't yet developed that sense of right and wrong

either have young pups but we dont smack them when they piss on the carpet!!

Somnus

no

super_furry wrote:

Don't think a slap on the arse ever did anyone any harm - I'd view it as a short sharp shock to a misbehaving child. It wouldn't always be the answer but would be a valid way of disciplining a child in certain circumstances.

I agree with that but i dont think you should hit a child in the body or head.

LadyJ

jcoote wrote:

i'm not sayin hit them every time or every day or whatever but i think that u can tell a child a thousand times and be as assetive as possible and they won't stop doing what they are doin but an occasional slap will send the message much more clearly that what they are doing is wrong...also if u hit a child constantly(which was never my point) they'll just get used to it and either hate u or hurt someone else as u said above ladyj

I realise that children can be persistent in their wrong-doings and I know that telling them is usually not enough. However,there are alternatives to spanking.

If your child keeps cursing or(insert "bold" deed of your choice) then punish them by taking away something that they like and reward them with it's return when they are good.

CerebralCortex

no

Pighead wrote:

Ah lads c'mon,there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving a smack to a bold child
Pighead has never, ever ever ever heard of someone who has problems from spanking

You have now. Me!!

Kernel

no

faceman wrote:

either have young pups but we dont smack them when they piss on the carpet!!

No, but you shove their noses in their own piss and then chuck them outside into the cold................

Kernel

no

CerebralCortex wrote:

You have now. Me!!

How have you problems from being spanked?

jcoote

no

yeah that is a way but lets say there is a situation where they are walking down they street and are *insert wrong doing* what is the plan of action there

CerebralCortex

no

LadyJ wrote:

I think violence is just an ignorant way of handling your children. It shows that you really don't know how to deal with them at all. It's a quick fix if you will. Clockwork orange style.

I like the way this lady thinks.

Two consecutive teachers I had hit me more than once stupid bitchs.

jcoote

no

Kernel wrote:

No, but you shove their noses in their own piss and then chuck them outside into the cold................

i was just gonna say something along them lines...put them out in the cold is worse than say a slap on the nose imo

CerebralCortex

no

Kernel wrote:

How have you problems from being spanked?

The resentment and ill feeling. It was belittling and it made me intraverted and afraid of stepping out of bounds made me afraid of life.

secret_squirrel

no

faceman wrote:

either have young pups but we dont smack them when they piss on the carpet!!

actually they can get a whack on the nose with a rolled up paper - then have their noses rubbed in it.

LadyJ

jcoote wrote:

yeah that is a way but lets say there is a situation where they are walking down they street and are *insert wrong doing* what is the plan of action there

Use your brain dammit!
If you're on your way somewhere fun then take them home,threaten to take things away from them. There's plenty you can do besides hitting them

jcoote

no

say your goin somewhere thats not fun...i'm convinced that the vast majority of people will hit their kids at one stage...i know i seem a bit shallow or picky or whatever but there are so many possible situations and saying 'no i will never hit my child no matter what the situation' is a very brash statement to make..just my way of looking at it

Kernel

no

CerebralCortex wrote:

The resentment and ill feeling. It was belittling and it made me intraverted and afraid of stepping out of bounds made me afraid of life.

No, you cannot blame your own personality problems solely on being spanked. You're just using feelings of self pity and a childhood memory to justify your own character deficiencies. You can sort out your own head, but you need to identify the real reasons, and overcome them.

Take responsibility for yourself, don't project it onto others.

Franky Boy

I wouldn't go mental at them but a small smack yeah I don't see a problem with that.
The name of this thread is very dodgy.

Pighead

no

Ah but lady j,what if you take them home and they laugh in your face and say"i hate you mammy,i'm gonna act the maggot all night long now"
a smack becomes "necessary" when all else fails. When the UN inspectors have given threats for days, but the little brats still refuses to stop throwing toys at other kids in the playground. Or when the little freethinking libertine thinks it fun to forsake reason and dash out on to a road in front of death-inducing trucks and buses. Then as a last resort a smack comes into play

So my careful, deliberated opinion is that smacking is a legitimate option for parents. Morally, it should used as a last resort, in a controlled fashion.

jcoote

no

Kernel wrote:

No, you cannot blame your own personality problems solely on being spanked. You're just using feelings of self pity and a childhood memory to justify your own character deficiencies. You can sort out your own head, but you need to identify the real reasons, and overcome them.

Take responsibility for yourself, don't project it onto others.

well said kernel

LadyJ

Pighead wrote:

Ah but lady j,what if you take them home and they laugh in your face and say"i hate you mammy,i'm gonna act the maggot all night long now"

Then you keep dishing out punishments and taking away their small pleasures until they get the picture. Spanking is lazy parenting.
Kids will get the point eventually without being spanked

jcoote

no

i used to coach a kida basketball team (aged 5 to say 8ish) and they were all deadly little kids most of em very funny...

the main difference between them was some of the kids were terrified of the ball and just wouldn't go for anything that involved phsical contact...this one lad was 7 and he was terrified even of the little 5 year olds..

anyway i later went out his aunt and it turns out the boys mother never ever hit him hence he was afraid of physical contact or 'being roughed up' slightly...so it can have that effect as well...

not hitting kids probably means that they will have less anger etc in them but do we need a certain amout of that to assert ourselves in life...just a rant really but it seems appropriate to this kinda conversation

county

no

i got a few slaps as a kid,did me no harm but taking away all there material crap would be a better and more affected punishment,i know as a kid i would prefer a slap as a punishment than my dad not taking me to the football match

Dyr

I got smacked and i sure as hell knew i'd stepped over a line when i did. You'd find parents in every society across the globe from the year dot smacked their kids, but now child behaviour experts have decided that they know better and solitary confinement is more civilised than a smack :mad: . 40 years from now this stuff will look as ridiculous as half the rubbish theories the victorians came up with

Mr.Nice Guy

no

Bambi wrote:

I got smacked and i sure as hell knew i'd stepped over a line when i did. You'd find parents in every society across the globe from the year dot smacked their kids, but now child behaviour experts have decided that they know better and solitary confinement is more civilised than a smack :mad: .

I agree. It's amazing that we live in an age where smacking is looked on as almost a form of abuse but I'm sure most people would be of the opinion that the age of our grandparents (who were most likely smacked) was a more respectful age than today's age. Society seems more dangerous these days yet the old ways are frequently being thrown out the window.

I got a smack on the hand or the backside when I was a kid if I was out of line. Nothing excessive or vicious. I have a great relationship with both my parents and don't feel smacking is a bad thing at all. I don't think children HAVE to be smacked, nor do I think they should be punched around the place, but I think parents should have the right to discipline their child by giving them a slap on the palm or arse.

Kernel

no

jcoote wrote:

well said kernel

Thanks mate!

Pighead

no

LadyJ wrote:

I think violence is just an ignorant way of handling your children. It shows that you really don't know how to deal with them at all. It's a quick fix if you will. Clockwork orange style.

Violence?I don't think so.Thats a totally different thing Lady J and you knows it.

Smacking is not violence. Smacking is motivated by love, a commitment to the child. Violence is motivated by anger, frustration even revenge. Smacking and violence are polar opposites.

Smacking is a method of controlled, measured and judicial smacks usually on a child’s clothed bottom. Violence lashes out uncontrollably to strike anywhere and is inflicted with excessive force and frequently includes humiliation of the victim.

Smacking wants to correct. It looks to an improvement of a child’s behaviour over time and desires affection. Violence wants to punish, inflict pain and get one’s own back.
They are totally different things and putting them together is misleading and darn wrong!

super_furry

no

Never thought I'd say this but.....well said Pigman.

missingtime

Ahhh the old wooden spoon... Fond memories there. To be honest a good ol smack when a child is acting up is no harm. Better than having them think they can get away with anything.
A quote from stephen fry should sort this out

"I mean people talk about it now, that beating children is a repulsive thing, and I genuinely agree, I don't think we should beat children, but we should bear in mind that if that (makes large gap between his hands to indicate a distance) is human history, then it is the film on top of a fingernail's length of time that humans have been alive in which they've not beaten children, that's to say since we've emerged from the primordial soup virtually, as far as we can tell, the Egyptians, The Romans, The Greeks, Shakespeare would have been beaten, Churchill, everyone up until the last twenty years of history. And it may be that a shiny new race of wonderful human beings is emerging, indeed you can see that, I think they're called chavs! Unquestionably the way forward!"

sceptre

faceman wrote:

I often get a good slappin from me missus in the bedroom! Shes a rite kinky rabbit!

Took a full 34 minutes for that to appear.

Kernel32

I was given a few smacks as child. I haven't smacked my own son and I have no intention of doing so. I won't judge people that do, dealing with kids is tough. I can't smack my child because I am generally in pretty good control of myself and a smack is as much about stress relief for the adult as it is discipline for the child.

Out of interest, for people who do give the odd slap or who see nothing wrong with it. Whats the age range you see as appropriate? How young and how old? Would you slap a 2 year old but not an 18 month old? What are your boundaries on slapping? Would you increase the severity as the child gets older in order to make your point?

jcoote

no

i think if your parents hit u and u feel as tho they did wrong u won't agree with hitting your own children but if u feel it did u no harm then u will be in favour of it...simple as that

melekalikimaka

Its a form of bullying

LB6

This has been interesting reading. Now, hands up those of you with children?