My ideal woman - is this realistic?

oreilly2

As I could be single very shortly I was thinking.
How realistic is the following list of traits/characteristics in a woman?
-Clever, independent woman, with her own life, friends, hobbies etc.
-Allows her man to do his own thing
But is the following
-Passionate
-Feminine
-Girlie-girlish (if you get my drift)
-Takes pride in her appearance, makes an effort all the time, doesn’t let herself go, wants to look good for herself and her man.
-By taking pride in her appearance, I don’t mean model looks but rather makes the most of what she’s got.
-Doesn’t smoke or drink pints or anything, particularly cider!
-No tatoes.
-Basically a lady, but not one of the high maintenance variety, has her own income and can be a real go-getter in the workplace yet vulnerable when she’s with her man.
Do women like this exist?
Am I too old-fashioned?
Where does one find ladies as described?
Any guys dated one?
Ladies, where will a guy find a woman as described above?
On the subject of my post, ladies how do get the balance between the modern yet feminine woman?
Rant over.

oreilly2

And...Ladies, what’s your take on traditional men who view woman and relationship roles in a rigid way?
Controlling?, romantic?, ridiculous?, the way it should be?

s4dd

yeah, i'm tempted not even to go NEAR this one.. the very fact that you ended your list "rant over" may perhaps suggest you have "issues" with your current lass? is that perhaps the problem here, hmm?

jcoote

if u got that woman yis wouldn't get on i bet ya...murphys law...but they are out thee i went out with a couple of girls ike that...funny enough they all had tattos tho ...they liked themselvs more than me...its a fine line between a persons independence and her commitment to a relationship

smileygal

If you want a woman who doesn't drink pints, you might need to do a bit of time travel back to 1900...

Hagar

I believe that a man searches for his ideal woman and marries her whereas a woman marries a man and then tries to change him into her ideal man.

TerrorFirmer

What you need is a time machine and go back into the 1900's.

Nowadays women generally speaking won't conform to the wants of a man such as the outrageous requirements you seek.

I don't normally feel so humourous about a post in the personal issues forum but.....eh....yeah.

Try liking someone for who they are, not for such an outdated and bigoted conformity - which you will probably be a long time finding btw.

Faye

How realistic is the following list of traits/characteristics in a man?
-Clever, independent man, with his own life, friends, hobbies etc.
-Allows his woman to do her own thing
But is the following
-Passionate
-Masculine
-Macho without being a total dickhead (if you get my drift)
-Takes pride in his appearance, makes an effort all the time, doesn’t let himself go, wants to look good for himself and his woman
-By taking pride in his appearance, I don’t mean model looks but rather makes the most of what he’s got.
-Doesn’t smoke or drink silly umbrellaed cocktails!
-No tattoos.
-Basically a gentleman, but not one of the high maintenance variety, has his own income and can be a real go-getter in the workplace yet vulnerable when he’s with his woman.
Do men like this exist?
Am I too old-fashioned?


Have I made my point? :rolleyes:

Like men, there are no ideal women. Only those we think are ideal. We all have our flaws.

Btw, as I’m new I would appreciate a second chance if I have over stepped boundaries here!

bellend

haha are u joking me... no girl out there is ideal... there either sound and ugly or really hot and have a crap personality... i know guys can be dickheads aswell but still perfect women dont exist...

ur list is too specific... good luck finding ur unicorn

bellend

Faye u just described me there baby... im all those things and more... have u seen hitch.. u know thats how i act..

em yeah i mean most birds i meet our stupid whores who are up their own ass but i normally put them in there place..

i try look for the odd nice one out of the many idiots out there..

super_furry

oreilly2 wrote:

As I could be single very shortly I was thinking.
How realistic is the following list of traits/characteristics in a woman?

It isn't at all. If you continue to search for this ellusive girl you'll be very disappointed, she doesn't exist and if she does, chances are she won't be interested in you. It's always a bad idea to have a pre-defined check list when looking for a prospective partner, what if you meet a girl, click with her but then find out she drinks pints and has tatoos?

jcoote

tbh honest the perfect girl is a girl u find physicaly attrative and who doesn't hassle u...all men want is an easy life... u dserve hassle if your bein a dickhead tho

Yook

oreilly2 wrote:

As I could be single very shortly I was thinking.
How realistic is the following list of traits/characteristics in a woman?
-Clever, independent woman, with her own life, friends, hobbies etc.
-Allows her man to do his own thing
But is the following
-Passionate
-Feminine
-Girlie-girlish (if you get my drift)
-Takes pride in her appearance, makes an effort all the time, doesn’t let herself go, wants to look good for herself and her man.
-By taking pride in her appearance, I don’t mean model looks but rather makes the most of what she’s got.
-Doesn’t smoke or drink pints or anything, particularly cider!
-No tatoes.
-Basically a lady, but not one of the high maintenance variety, has her own income and can be a real go-getter in the workplace yet vulnerable when she’s with her man.
Do women like this exist?
Am I too old-fashioned?
Where does one find ladies as described?
Any guys dated one?
Ladies, where will a guy find a woman as described above?
On the subject of my post, ladies how do get the balance between the modern yet feminine woman?
Rant over.

Just a thought, does your mother have the characteristics above?

SBob

Hagar wrote:

I believe that a man searches for his ideal woman and marries her whereas a woman marries a man and then tries to change him into her ideal man.

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed"

Albert Einstein

Nevyn

Bellend this is not a dating forum,
unhelpful posts and crash comments will get you banned.

All new comers should take the time to read the Charter

Have a nice day
Thaed

Hagar

SBob wrote:

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed"

Albert Einstein

Thieveing bastard also stole my mc2 = E theory. Did a bit of messing around with it and passed it off as his.

Sorry for going off topic.

skipn_easy

Faye wrote:

How realistic is the following list of traits/characteristics in a man?
-Clever, independent man, with his own life, friends, hobbies etc.
-Allows his woman to do her own thing
But is the following
-Passionate
-Masculine
-Macho without being a total dickhead (if you get my drift)
-Takes pride in his appearance, makes an effort all the time, doesn’t let himself go, wants to look good for himself and his woman
-By taking pride in his appearance, I don’t mean model looks but rather makes the most of what he’s got.
-Doesn’t smoke or drink silly umbrellaed cocktails!
-No tattoos.
-Basically a gentleman, but not one of the high maintenance variety, has his own income and can be a real go-getter in the workplace yet vulnerable when he’s with his woman.
Do men like this exist?
Am I too old-fashioned?

Strangely and luckily enough, I have a man like this. But your and the other posters are right, you can't be too rigid in what you're looking for, there are no *ideal* people, and you can often overlook traits that you thought you'd never like in people you love. Making a list of things you want and don't want in a possible partner seems a bit too severe to me, sure be aware of things that you can't put up with but don't write off the majority of the female species because they drink pints or have tattoos.

FunkyChick

Yo OP! I meet all your requirements! Only I do drink pints and love 'em, especially black ones! Mmm-hmmm!

And if you are looking for someone with certain characteristics, as described above, you should think about going online dating, as there you can state exactly what you are looking for, but on the flip-side, you also have to state what you have to offer too! I hope you find what you're looking for.

Also, what is with all this negativity about there not being the perfect person out there... Am I the only one who still believes in love? And that love will conquer all?

Thanks Thaed for putting Bellend in his place!

skipn_easy

Its not negativity, its realism. No one here has said that there's no such thing as love, there's plenty of love, but to expect to find somebody who has exactly what you're looking for and nothing negative about them at all is to spend the rest of your life searching for something that doesn't exist.

Relationships and love aren't based on perfection, they're based on reality. They're not static things either, they constantly change with the people involved, and to expect change to only bring good things is short-sighted.

As you put it, if love conquers all, then people aren't perfect and their is no ideal person. I would say that love tries to conquer all but isn't always enough.

Sifo

if they do exist ive yet to meet one that meets all that criteria, but i have met some that are pretty close... i guess i understand where your coming from, it's tough in this modern world to get what you desire... but just like men, women adapt to their surroundings;

for example you don't act the same around your girlfriend as you would your mates ("hey dave", "hey joe" wanna get a dvd an a bottle of wine instead of heading to the pub? see what i mean) and vice versa!!

if that makes any sense!!

ando

oreilly2 wrote:

As I could be single very shortly I was thinking.
How realistic is the following list of traits/characteristics in a woman?
-Clever, independent woman, with her own life, friends, hobbies etc.
-Allows her man to do his own thing
But is the following
-Passionate
-Feminine
-Girlie-girlish (if you get my drift)
-Takes pride in her appearance, makes an effort all the time, doesn’t let herself go, wants to look good for herself and her man.
-By taking pride in her appearance, I don’t mean model looks but rather makes the most of what she’s got.
-Doesn’t smoke or drink pints or anything, particularly cider!
-No tatoes.
-Basically a lady, but not one of the high maintenance variety, has her own income and can be a real go-getter in the workplace yet vulnerable when she’s with her man.
Do women like this exist?
Am I too old-fashioned?
Where does one find ladies as described?
Any guys dated one?
Ladies, where will a guy find a woman as described above?
On the subject of my post, ladies how do get the balance between the modern yet feminine woman?
Rant over.

Wow, thats some list there oreilly, I don't have much hope in you finding all that in one girl nowadays, if you do your very lucky... realistically you should shorten it a bit, so for a man to be happy with his girl, she needs to

1. Shag him
2. Leave him in peace


Now the women's list can be a bit longer but thats to be expected...the man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


from my experiance anyway

chern0byl

oreilly2 wrote:

-Clever, independent woman, with her own life, friends, hobbies etc.
-Allows her man to do his own thing
But is the following
-Passionate
-Feminine
-Girlie-girlish (if you get my drift)
-Takes pride in her appearance, makes an effort all the time, doesn’t let herself go, wants to look good for herself and her man.
-By taking pride in her appearance, I don’t mean model looks but rather makes the most of what she’s got.
-Doesn’t smoke or drink pints or anything, particularly cider!
-No tatoes.
-Basically a lady, but not one of the high maintenance variety, has her own income and can be a real go-getter in the workplace yet vulnerable when she’s with her man.
.

I know plenty who would meet most of your demands, expect i have decided you are not good enough for any of my friends so your not meeting them.
They would only fall "short" of your standards with:

-Doesn’t smoke or drink pints or anything, particularly cider!
-yet vulnerable when she’s with her man.

What drugs are ya on mate?

Faye wrote:

How realistic is the following list of traits/characteristics in a man?
-Clever, independent man, with his own life, friends, hobbies etc.
-Allows his woman to do her own thing
But is the following
-Passionate
-Masculine
-Macho without being a total dickhead (if you get my drift)
-Takes pride in his appearance, makes an effort all the time, doesn’t let himself go, wants to look good for himself and his woman
-By taking pride in his appearance, I don’t mean model looks but rather makes the most of what he’s got.
-Doesn’t smoke or drink silly umbrellaed cocktails!
-No tattoos.
-Basically a gentleman, but not one of the high maintenance variety, has his own income and can be a real go-getter in the workplace yet vulnerable when he’s with his woman.
Do men like this exist?
Am I too old-fashioned?

Not too all fashioned at all. I am those things. Give us a call some time.

bellend wrote:

there either sound and ugly or really hot and have a crap personality

Sorry if you experiences have thought you that but it just isnt true.

bellend

thaed i havent said anything that warrants aban.. trust me im not in here for dating.. im just giving my opinion as a general ballsy bloke..

i havent been put in my place... i get sick of women go on about how perfect aguy should be... they read too many bullsh1t articles from cosmo and glamour about how to know if ur guys cheating? How to know if ur guys the right one?

its not realistic thinking in the real world.. im sick of the double standards women have about other women... trust me women are very fickle when it comes to one night stands and how important their boyfriends are too them.

ideal women dont exist FACT.. their will always be a problem with them no matter who they are.

AARRRGH

oreilly2 wrote:

-Doesn’t smoke or drink pints or anything, particularly cider!
-No tatoes.
-...yet vulnerable when she’s with her man.

Get rid of those three and you'll have no problems finding the woman you describe. She won't be Irish though!

skipn_easy

You seem to have a very old-fashioned view of relationships, or you've just been unlucky with your experiences. Nobody should feel obligated to do any of the things that you listed above, as I'm sure any woman wouldn't simply expect a man to do them. Its all about give and take, looking after one another and caring for one another. Giving your girlfriend space when she needs it is because you love her and see that she needs some space, in the same way as comforting her when something has upset her. In return your girlfriend will do the same to you when you need her.

Partners are there for each in good and bad times. Any man who expects a woman to simply cook, clean and shag him while he is the breadwinner and constantly tells her to stop nagging him is missing out on the best parts of relationships and needs to wake up and join this century. Similarly any woman who expects a man to remember every birthday, read her mind when she's upset and be a constant source of support, encouragement, advice is going to be disappointed.

dramaqueen

To be honest with you all you really need to do is find a woman who is comfortable with herself. If she is then she will be all of those things you are looking for and more. She may not totally fit all of your (ridiculous) boxes but then you won't fit all of her criteria and that's when you both make allowances.
Bad experiences have led you to believe that everything would be better if you could just find the perfect woman. The problem is that she will walk past you while you are checking for tattoos!
Chill out and accept people for who they are.
If you expect people to be perfect you will invariably be let down.

dramaqueen

bellend wrote:

thaed i havent said anything that warrants aban.. trust me im not in here for dating.. im just giving my opinion as a general ballsy bloke..

i havent been put in my place... i get sick of women go on about how perfect aguy should be... they read too many bullsh1t articles from cosmo and glamour about how to know if ur guys cheating? How to know if ur guys the right one?

its not realistic thinking in the real world.. im sick of the double standards women have about other women... trust me women are very fickle when it comes to one night stands and how important their boyfriends are too them.

ideal women dont exist FACT.. their will always be a problem with them no matter who they are.

How old are you?

bellend

Sorry if you experiences have thought you that but it just isnt true

well no cause im not with ugly girls but i normally get with goodlooking ladies of all ages and alot of the time they talk such bull**** or have emotional problems... once or twice ive ended up with great girls but again a couple months down the line they let me down with one thing or another...

bellend

dramaqueen wrote:

How old are you?

26, why how old are you? i just feel women bullsh1t alot about this stuff when deep down they wish they could have a relaxed attitude to things like most decent lads do..

dramaqueen

bellend wrote:

26, why how old are you? i just feel women bullsh1t alot about this stuff when deep down they wish they could have a relaxed attitude to things like most decent lads do..

People bullsh*t.
There are decent lads and decent women.
Surely at the age of 26 you are not totally jaded already.
Guys and girls could sit here all day and swop tales of nasty experiences where we have been hurt. It happens. Girls do it and guys do it.
Don't write horrible things about women in general as it's not fair.

well no cause im not with ugly girls but i normally get with goodlooking ladies of all ages and alot of the time they talk such bull**** or have emotional problems... once or twice ive ended up with great girls but again a couple months down the line they let me down with one thing or another...

Perhaps your expectations are as unrealistic as the thread starters.

bellend

i dont think age has to do with it.. i just know now that whats the point in seeing someone for the next few years.. i wont be getting married for another couple of years anyway and i rather have fun until then... i dont understand girls who bounce from one lad to the next... that also makes me think less of women in general.. they love the rebound boyfriend.

DAEDULUS

bellend wrote:

ideal women dont exist FACT.. their will always be a problem with them no matter who they are.

she looks ideal enough to me,dont you think?

Kiera

bellend wrote:

i dont think age has to do with it.. i just know now that whats the point in seeing someone for the next few years.. i wont be getting married for another couple of years anyway and i rather have fun until then... i dont understand girls who bounce from one lad to the next... that also makes me think less of women in general.. they love the rebound boyfriend.

It really is exactly what it says on the tin with you, isn’t it!!!

dramaqueen

bellend wrote:

i dont think age has to do with it.. i just know now that whats the point in seeing someone for the next few years.. i wont be getting married for another couple of years anyway and i rather have fun until then... i dont understand girls who bounce from one lad to the next... that also makes me think less of women in general.. they love the rebound boyfriend.

To be honest I asked how old you were because it sounded like you were 15. So you would rather have fun for now because you are not ready to get married. And yet you think less of and have a problem with women who want the same thing?

FunkyChick

bellend wrote:

i just feel women bullsh1t alot about this stuff when deep down they wish they could have a relaxed attitude to things like most decent lads do..

Well, you don't seem very chilled out yourself Bellend. Maybe that's why you're not attracting your perfect partner. Could be to do with the vibes you give off.

bellend

dramaqueen wrote:

To be honest I asked how old you were because it sounded like you were 15. So you would rather have fun for now because you are not ready to get married. And yet you think less of and have a problem with women who want the same thing?

No i have a problem with women who bitch and moan about the perfect guy who they will never find as there prob the reason in the first place why she hasnt found it...i love the way its women who are ganging up on me now...

i mean trust me alot of lads and most of my mates feel the same way as i do... ive learnt my lessons in the last few years so i dont give women any emotion anymore... :rolleyes:

Catsmokinpot

ando wrote:

Wow, thats some list there oreilly, I don't have much hope in you finding all that in one girl nowadays, if you do your very lucky... realistically you should shorten it a bit, so for a man to be happy with his girl, she needs to

1. Shag him
2. Leave him in peace


Now the women's list can be a bit longer but thats to be expected...the man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


from my experiance anyway

its funny cause its true

Sifo

bellend wrote:

i dont think age has to do with it.. i just know now that whats the point in seeing someone for the next few years.. i wont be getting married for another couple of years anyway and i rather have fun until then... i dont understand girls who bounce from one lad to the next... that also makes me think less of women in general.. they love the rebound boyfriend.

How can you say you'll get married in a couple of years, you don't jus decide your goin to get married and thats it!!(unless its an arranged marriage) you have to find the one... and with your negativity towards the opposite sex why would you even bother getting married?!!

26?!! please!!

nobodies perfect in the eyes of everybody...

jrey1981

I think perhaps you need a nice eastern European or Russian girl.

I have known or been out with girls that fit your requirements but they smoked, drank (sometimes pints), I am not sure they were exactly "girlie girls", but they had all their feminine wiles.

They didnt have tatoos either...and a few had been privately and expensively educated.

So they are out there, if you are prepared to compromise a little, and you may find one...you might have to be prepared to mix in the same social/cultural circles as them though.

Beruthiel

moved to AH

Nevyn

There is nothing wrong with having standards and wanting respect.
Esp if you looking for a long term comitment type relationship.
personally I think that long term relationship evolve out of fun ones.

Faye

‘To be honest with you all you really need to do is find a woman who is comfortable with herself.’ - Dramaqueen. (I haven’t figured out how to quote properly yet)

Possibly, the most accurate comment on this thread. A woman, and indeed a man, who feels comfortable and confidant in who they are is a joy to be with. They enjoy life. They enjoy other people. They stand up for them selves, not in a demanding way but in an ‘expecting’ way. They treat others with respect and therefore expect to be treated that way.

If I were you Oreily2, I’d put away the tick list and focus more on trying to meet women with whom you can connect mentally/emotionally. When you find this connection all the little things fall into place naturally. When you are in a truely loving relationship(short term or otherwise), you may even find you will be buying the pints for both of you!

dramaqueen

bellend wrote:

No i have a problem with women who bitch and moan about the perfect guy who they will never find as there prob the reason in the first place why she hasnt found it...i love the way its women who are ganging up on me now...

i mean trust me alot of lads and most of my mates feel the same way as i do... ive learnt my lessons in the last few years so i dont give women any emotion anymore... :rolleyes:

You make many good points, all of which are based in clear logic!
I hope one day you let down your wall of misplaced righteousness and then maybe you might meet someone nice. Until then, good luck with the shagging around until you get married in a few years.

Dave!

My ideal woman: Angelina Jolie

Tar.Aldarion

that girl the OP described,i know her.

Nightwish

the OP described me to a T





any statements made in this post may not be true

Civilian_Target

ando wrote:

Now the women's list can be a bit longer but thats to be expected...the man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


from my experiance anyway

Doh! Looks like I need plumbing courses

Great list though

3cups

Nightwish wrote:

the OP described me to a T

Except for the bit about being good looking

adonis

seriously she was talking about me...
to the op

sometimes when u dont look so hard, you find exactly what you need.

Kinetic^

I've only ever met 1 lady that meets the OP criteria but she's spoken for..........by me

shellby

bellend wrote:

em yeah i mean most birds i meet our stupid whores who are up their own ass but i normally put them in there place...

ah yes a true gentleman :rolleyes: