Its time for some Hurricane Jokes.

Sponge Bob

I'll be at a wedding tomorrow, need about 5 short ones , TA !

TerrorFirmer

Sponge Bob wrote:

I'll be at a wedding tomorrow, need about 5 short ones , TA !

:mad:

Kinetic^

What do hurricanes and divorces have in common??

Somebodt always loses their house (very bad)

simu

Sponge Bob wrote:

I'll be at a wedding tomorrow, need about 5 short ones , TA !

I don't get it - please explain.

Gonzolas

They won't go down well. It's an absolutely horrifying situation. Complete civil unrest. People killing each other for food/water. People being raped. Bodies of children floating by peoples houses. Gangs firing shots at aid helicopters, etc, I could go on..

TerrorFirmer

Sponge Bob wrote:

I'll be at a wedding tomorrow, need about 5 short ones , TA !

I mean are you for real or what.....hurricane jokes at a wedding.

Maybe try your fat jokes if the bride is really fat?

Or how how some racist jokes if the groom is black.

simu

Oh - the first post was a request and not a joke. How's that for funny?

RandolphEsq

what do u get when u feel the superdome up with milk? coco puffs :rolleyes:

rymus

someones obviously going to a completely tasteless wedding then.. enjoy

JackKelly

i hopes you DIES

seriously, i wouldn't. Its tasteless

Sparky

how would you feel if you found out some americians made bus jokes when those kids in navan died in that bus crash??

Guy:Incognito

Gonzolas wrote:

People killing each other for food/water. QUOTE]

Dont forget televisions and loot from banks, shopping malls etc.

banquo

I liked that 1st joke. very good.

banquo

Q.> Why are hurricanes named after women?
A.> Because they arrive all wet and wild and when they
leave they take your house and your car.



Q.> Why are hurricanes named after men?
A.> Because they're noisy, make a huge mess, and if you
look into their eyes there's nothing there.

Ed.Note: They are however called HURricanes and not HISricanes...



Q. whats the difference between hurricane bonnie and hurricane monica?
A. hurricane monica blew a crooked path
A. hurricane bonnie induced only one surge (vs 18)



What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Hang on to your nuts - this isn't going to be a regular blow job!



Q: What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane
in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.



A man once asked his friend the difference between a cyclone, A hurricane
and a divorced wife.
Nothing, They all get the house.



What do anabolic steroids and Hurricane Gilbert have in common?
They make Jamaicans run like hell.



I understand that in Dade county, there's a run on flat house paint.



H U R R I C A N E S U R V I V A L Q U I Z

---

1. How are hurricane's names selected?

a. Named after Congressmen who are full of hot air
b. Names of spouses are submitted by divorced people
c. Page 824 in Miami's phone book
d. Hurricanes don't care what you call them


2. What do they call the most severe hurricane?

a. Category 5
b. Red Alert
c. Costly
d. HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII


3. If a hurricane Guido, with wind speeds of 104 MPH leaves the
Northwest African coast on Wednesday at 7:04 AM and is traveling
West at 16 MPH and hurricane Isabel, with wind speeds of 93 MPH
leaves Key West at 24 MPH on Thursday at 11:32 AM; when would
they meet?

a. Tuesday at 3:18 PM, but their luggage would be in Paris
b. Never, Isabel doesn't want to have anything to do with a
blowhard like Guido
c. Never, Guido said that there's no place for Isabel to stop
and ask directions; she'll probably end up in Rio
d. Trick question - hurricanes don't depart from Key West


4. You're flying in a small, single engine plane. You look up and
see a hurricane directly ahead. What's the first thing that
enters your mind?

a. It's got the right of way! It's got the right of way!
b. This is the last time I fly no-frills
c. I can't believe she's going to get EVERYTHING now!
d. I gotta change my shorts!
e. The windshield


5. A hurricane is dangerous if...

a. you get in it's way
b. it's had a REALLY bad day
c. you try to stop it to ask directions
d. you do not yield right of way


6. How do forecasters know a hurricane is coming?

a. Hurricanes ALWAYS leave a forwarding address
b. They have REALLY good binoculars
c. Hurricanes LOVE the beach
d. They send out a bunch of small boats and plot the sinkings


7. How can you protect your house in the event of a hurricane?

a. Sell it - QUICK
b. Bury it and dig it up later
c. Cover it with leaves and pretend it's a big bush
d. Two words -- Duct tape


8. What is the first thing you should do if a hurricane is confirmed
to be heading in your direction?

a. Check your supplies for the big hurricane party
b. Air drop a roadmap, of another area, into the eye
c. Put out all your trash for immediate air disposal
d. Begin drawing plans for the new house you will soon be building


9. What should you NOT do if a hurricane is coming?

a. Begin those remodeling plans you've been putting off
b. Put the cat or dog out (unless on a LONG leash)
c. Cancel your homeowner's insurance
d. Go on a picnic, to the beach


10. When is it a good time to evacuate your home?

a. When the water level reaches the roof
b. When your in-ground swimming pool becomes airborne
c. Shortly after your roof is declared a UFO
d. When people ask how you constructed a home without outer walls


11. Where should you evacuate?

a. A nearby lowland to wait out the floods
b. A tall location, like on top of a radio tower or one of
Florida's many mountain tops
c. Anywhere that has a happy hour and free munchies
d. Out to sea on a small craft


12. Why should you NOT stay close to the beach?

a. All the best spots are probably taken
b. Track in too much sand
c. Cooler keeps blownin' away
d. Hard to stay put under the 50'

banquo

Did you hear about the New Orleans new heated swimming pool? They converted the stadium.

Rantorama

Hundreds maybe thousands dead/dying and homeless.

Bring on the jokes.

TerrorFirmer

Banquo, not only are you an idiot for partaking in such bastard displays of disregard for the current crisis, your "jokes" are even worse then the thread title.

I think both you clowns (spongebob and you) should be banned. :mad:

Sauron

pretty damn tasteless imo... strange choice of jokes for a wedding.. you're not making some kind of speech are you?

Dinner

Must be a pretty dull wedding if you have to feed of others misfortune for kicks and giggles.

RandolphEsq

Arabel wrote:

Must be a pretty dull wedding if you have to feed of others misfortune for kicks and giggles.

well generally thats what makes a joke funny

Sparky

i mean why dont you just go out and blow someones head off, then joke on how they keep hoping around the ground, thats nearly as worse as your hurricane jokes.

So say your best friend or dad or mom dies, would you like to hear some idiot make a joke about the issue, id assure you nobody will be impressed, and likewise im not impressed with this either, i do hope that a moderator see's the immaturity in you and locks this thread

Sauron

well generally thats what makes a joke funny

let's re-phrase that

well generally thats what makes a Tasteless joke funny for tasteless people

that's about right...

TerrorFirmer

I already reported the thread, but christ I'd love to see this jackass trying to tell the jokes to a wedding party....some people :rolleyes:

PHB

If you can't laugh at something, its beaten you

Sauron

If you can't laugh at something, its beaten you

that may be so.. but they're not only laughing at the hurricane, they're laughing at the misfortune it caused.. in essence, at the people who are suffering.... at their expense.. we can't exactly laugh at the hurricane for them....

Dinner

BrightEyes wrote:

well generally thats what makes a joke funny

At a Wedding?

It'd be better to tell divorce jokes. Give them hints that their marrage is probably doomed from the start. That'd have the guests in fits of laughter. :rolleyes:

RandolphEsq

laughing at peoples expense is what most jokes are, look at all the michael jackson jokes,they really upset him but loads of people found them hilarious

Sparky

BrightEyes wrote:

laughing at peoples expense is what most jokes are, look at all the michael jackson jokes,they really upset him but loads of people found them hilarious

peoples expense, do ya mean their lives

Sauron

I think a multi-millionaire on trial for child molestation is a bit more fair game than thousands of starving, desolate americans who have lost their city as they know it, Family and friends and all they own.. just a bit cruel in comparison methinks..

RandolphEsq

no cuz people dying isnt funny,unless they die in a funny way, like diarrhoea

TerrorFirmer

BrightEyes wrote:

no cuz people dying isnt funny,unless they die in a funny way, like diarrhoea

I cannot wait until you are banned.

Sauron

no cuz people dying isnt funny

evidently, it is to some people...

RandolphEsq

my joke had nothing to do with people dying

billstraighten

yo i made some jokes bout the tsunami and got banned

so fair play to ya

even though one of the persons off my site had to move and his house got wrecked

TerrorFirmer

no cuz people dying isnt funny,unless they die in a funny way, like diarrhoea

.





Not to mention your attempts to compare the trial of a wierdo multi millionaire with thousands of people dying jokes and somehow render the latter acceptable. :rolleyes:

nesf

I don't think this is very tasteful. I'm not offended by it per sa, but the quality of the jokes is painful. Seriously, it's one thing to tell a joke in bad taste, but if it's not funny then you just look like a total muppet.

Regardless this isn't Humour.

Thread locked.

Giblet

nesf wrote:

I don't think this is very tasteful. I'm not offended by it per sa, but the quality of the jokes is painful. Seriously, it's one thing to tell a joke in bad taste, but if it's not funny then you just look like a total muppet.

Regardless this isn't Humour.

Thread locked.

Seriously, I'd be the first one making jokes, but at least tell some good ones. Anyway I've gotten enough reports to warrent a closing. Don't you know it takes 21 years for something to become funny.